ಅರ್ಧಸತ್ಯ - Half Truth

Memories

2012-01-24T01:15:00.000-08:00

As the sun sets, light dims, stars twinkle
As the full moon emerges from the other end
As the high tides wash away our sand castle
I look at the remaining ruins of our castle
And think, what good memories

Such enthusiasm I had this morning
Plan was to spend a whole day with you
On the beach, playing with the waves and rocks
It was a dream picnic spot for anybody
Plan was to just have some time for life

We built such beautiful and detailed castle
I was the Princess and you were the King
Our story went on and on for the whole day
With no watch, mobile or laptop around
We lost the count of time, we forgot the tick-tock

You left just before the sunset, time had passed
I stood watching you disappear in to darkness
Still wanting to know when can we do this again
Waves got rough and destroyed our castle
I am dragging myself home, carrying "memories"

BhaShe

Life Partner "Best Friend for Life"

2012-01-03T00:24:00.000-08:00

If I remember right, there is a shloka which says wife is your best friend for life. Considering today’s lifestyle, I figured it may mean to say your life partner is your best friend for life.

In earlier days, men used to be the bread earner and women used to stay home and take care of the households. Men used to see the world and women used to make their home their world. Women used to use all that they have to do the roles of Mantri, Rambha, Mata and so on as it goes in another shloka. However, today, as both men and women do both the roles of earning bread and looking after the household, they both need to be each others best friend.

Why friend might be your question. In marriage the string that binds each other is not blood, but love, and sometimes the outcomes of a marriage. Two people who are married are expected to live together, help each other in daily life and share a whole lot of stuff. This emphasizes on the requirement to have a friendly relationship with each other. I know a lot of couples hate whom they are married to more often than they love, but that does not make the marriage broken. If that need to be taken seriously then all marriages would lead to divorce. It always is a love-hate relationship and a balance is what makes it work. That balance, a lot of times, is brought by the friendliness in the relationship.

So, coming back to the friendship part, which sounds as a necessity for a good marriage. How many of us can claim that their wife/husband is their best friend? I don’t know how many but I would be happy every time the count increases. How many of us are transparent with our life partners? It may be “I’ll smoke at office hours and she’ll not get to know” or “I’ll cheat on him at office hours and he’ll not get to know” or more. Hiding facts, hiding truth, from the person who we claim we love a lot and with whom we share out life. How right is that? If all these hidden facts come to light, the effects would rock the boat. However, more and more couples are hiding their life from their life partners.

Wouldn’t it be nice to be frank with the one person you love. Tell that you are doing something that they may not like. Take the truth on its face value and get over with. Wouldn’t it make life simpler, better and worth living?

Ego and taking for granted are other two important factors that can spoil a marriage. Why should I say sorry has the power to make many night and days silent. These issues dries out the love out of the relationship and makes it a burden. Why wait to say sorry? Why not forgive without a sorry? Every minute that is spent on these fights and talk less time had the potential to be a memorable time. Why turn it in to pain when it can be fun.

Trust on each other is also very important for a happy marriage. We believe whatever a friend says without much of discussion and debate, we ask friends for help when we are in trouble and look at issues from their point of view, then why not life partner? Aren't they the best people to help? They know our life as much as we know it and they can help us better. We trust a friend easily then why not partner? Is it because we own them? Is it because of the possessiveness they have on us that makes their view point invalid? I don't think it makes it invalid, rather it makes it more appropriate. Things might go wrong sometimes, but when it hasn't? There is no perfect way of doing things. So, trust your partner and hold their hands tight. It strengthens the bond.

We live a short life and we live only once. Keeping a different, rude attitude towards the world is okay, but not with life. As we all know life can get really short for all of us any time making it sweet and worth living is the best way to live.

Make friendship with your partner. Say that you love them, say that you did not like something, say that you do something that they do not like. But say it all. Do not hide it. Be transparent. Share you had a crush on the good looking girl and make sure that you get over with it. Share that you made a mistake, when it was done but make sure that you never do it again. Forgive accidents and forget those bad times and fights. Make that life that you wanted to live, yours.

There are a list of advantages for having your life partner as best friend:
1. First and foremost view point from the other sex is easily available and that gives any issue a 360 degree outlook
2. Impact of such thing on the family can be put to perspective easily
3. You’ll have a punching bag all the time
4. Poring work tension on family can be reduced
5. Issues are resolved as a talk and not fight
6. You both are in the same page all the time on anything that is happening in each of your lives

The only disadvantage I see is that frequency of fights might increase, however the duration and intensity of it will be far lesser than once a blue moon fight. Anger is not accumulated and there is a proper vent for it to go out. Secrets of a marriage can be kept between the two, and embarrassments reduced.

With requirement for both life partners to work, we get so less time with each other. Why not tap the advantage of having a friend all the time? Make the best of the person with whom life is shared. Keep it simple, clean and truthful. Life sounds so much easier that way.

I have a full time friend in my husband and I hope he thinks the same way too. I wish all marriages turn to a life time bound friendships and all married lives have a happy life.

BhaShe

Pink Ipe - ಮಧುರ ಮರ

2011-11-30T07:07:00.000-08:00

Pink Ipe

Dried from root to tip
With looks like a dead tree
In the midst of cold windy winter
Has blossomed and flowered suddenly
Bunches of lovely pink flowers all over

Just to do the duty of flowering
To make sure windy days spread its seeds
It has flowered on time, like every time
Reminding us of our duties and timelines
Teaching us many lessons of life

It says it is natural to dry up
To look dead at some point in life
But all the looks dead may not be dead
The life inside would come out one beautiful morning
Time can bring back life, to a dead looking tree

It also says never lose hope in life
Life can blossom and flower at unpredicted times
It can get colorful at unexpected situations
It can bring up a smile in dark
The chirping birds can sing a new song

Truth is not always what one sees
It is also not only one can see
It is also not constant throughout
Life changes always, for better or for worse
Fun is in living life, attached still detached.

BhaShe

Same thought in Kannada below!
Which one you like the most? Please let me know.

ಮಧುರ ಮರ

ಬುಡದಿಂದ ತುದಿಯವರೆಗೂ ಒಣಗಿ
ಜೀವವೇ ಇಲ್ಲವೇನೂ ಎಂಬಂತೆ ನಿಂತು
ಛಳಿಗಾಲ ಶುರುವಿನಲಿ, ಮೈಬಿರಿದಿರುವಾಗ
ಮಧುರ ಬಣ್ಣದ ಹೂ ಗೊಂಚಲುಗಳ
ಒಣ ರೆಂಬೆಗಳ ತುದಿಯಲೇ ಬಿಡುತ್ತದೆ ಆ ಮರ

ಮರುವರ್ಷದ ಬೀಜ ಪ್ರಸಾರಣದ
ಜವಾಬ್ದಾರಿ ಹೊತ್ತ ಗಾಳಿಗೆ, ಸಮಯಕ್ಕೆ ಸರಿಯಾಗಿ
ಕೆಲಸ ಕೊಡುವ ಕಾರ್ಯ ಹೊತ್ತು ಹೂ ಬಿಟ್ಟಿದೆ
ಕಾಲಕ್ಕೆ ತಕ್ಕಂತೆ ತನ್ನ ಕಾರ್ಯ ನಿರ್ವಹಿಸುತ್ತಾ
ನೆನ್ನೆ, ಇಂದು, ನಾಳೆಗಳ ಯೋಚನೆ ಬಿಟ್ಟಂತಿದೆ

ಮಳೆ, ಛಳಿ, ಗಾಳಿ, ಬಿಸಿಲು, ಏನಾದರೂ ಹೂ ಬಿಟ್ಟು
ಹೇಳಿದೆ ಹಲವು ಜೀವನ ಪಾಠಗಳ
ಸತ್ತಂತೆ ಕಂಡಿದ್ದೆಲ್ಲವೂ ಸತ್ತಿಲ್ಲ, ಜೀವವಿರಬಹುದು
ಕಾಲನೇ ಅದರಲ್ಲಿ ಜೀವ ತುಂಬಬಹುದು ಒಂದುದಿನ
ಕರ್ತವ್ಯ ನಿರ್ವಹಿಸು, ಬದುಕು ಅಂಟಿಯೂ ಅಂಟದಂತೆ

ಹೂವೊಂದು ಆರಳಬಹುದು ನಿನಗೇ ಅರಿವಿಲ್ಲದೆ
ನಗುವೊಂದು ನಲಿಯಬಹುದು, ನಿನ್ನ ಮನದಂಗಳದಲೇ
ಹಕ್ಕಿ ಹೊಸತೊಂದು ಹಾಡು ಹಾಡಿ ಮತ್ತೆ ಗೂಡು ಕಟ್ಟಬಹುದು
ಕಣ್ಣಿಗೆ ಕಂಡಿದ್ದಷ್ಟೇ, ಕಂಡಿದ್ದೆಲ್ಲವೂ ಸತ್ಯವಲ್ಲ
ಸತ್ಯ ನಿಶ್ಚಿತವೂ ಅಲ್ಲ, ನೀನಾಗೇ ಇರು, ಬದಲಾಗುತಿರು ಬಾಳಲಿ.

ಭಾಶೆ

Hunger

2011-11-05T06:35:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wake up dead
I wonder how could I get back to life
I think, think and fail, get out of bed
I start my day like usual, mechanical

Sometimes I lose my magic pen
That writes what I see from outside and inner eyes
I keep looking for it, my handy ventilator
I burn some lines inside, failing to write

I see so many new moon nights together
Suddenly moonlight fills up, life gets better
I wonder about the ups and downs of life
Try and fail in understanding the meaning of it

I look for the magic, I search inside me
Wait to hear that call, that’ll kick an emotion
That’ll wake up the dead me, inside me
I keep myself open to grasp from the world

Sometimes it’s a call, sometimes it’s hunger
That hunger which makes me and keeps me alive
The hunger to read and write
The hunger to be someone and make a difference

The brought back life stays for a while
For another round of ups and downs to pass
For another set of dark and lighted nights to go
I find it again, hidden, in the innermost parts of me.

BhaShe

Yesterday

2011-10-18T05:57:00.000-07:00

Dusk
I was standing alone in the bus stop
It had rained and the roads were wet
It was still drizzling and I was attempting not get wet
Waiting for a bus, in the broken bus shelter

Few buses passed, some with lights on and some without
Street lights were not switched on yet
It was tough to read the boards with low light
I was attempting to see, if the bus go to my destination
Yes! Some did! But did not stop, though I waved my hand

I was scared of getting stuck in rain again
There were no other vehicles in the road
It was a festival evening with heavy rains
Who would come out? Lonely, scary road
I was alone in the bus stop, waiting for a bus to stop

Suddenly there appeared that road Romeo
Who used to tease me whenever he had a chance
I was alone, wet and scared to death
Afraid that he would not limit himself to a tease
Wishing for a bus to stop and get moving from there

Did he not notice me? I wonder
He is not coming close or whistling or teasing
I looked at him many times, no response
Oh! I totally forgot, yesterday’s accident
I died due to electric shock, he cannot see me anymore
Shall I threaten him? I decided otherwise and flied off

BhaShe

Friend

2011-10-12T22:43:00.000-07:00

In order to be a friend
One need not hangout everyday
Need not chat up every event
Need not talk every moment

It’s just that
Your presence should be felt in your absence
Your absence identified even in your presence
Read the directions of your thought process

To be a great friend
You need not tell all the events happened
Just convey only the feeling and emotions
Understand it through heart and soul

It feels heavenly to have a friend
Who cares more than parents
Loves more than beloved
Shares more than one’s own soul

Am so lucky to have a friend
With whom I laugh to the content of my heart
Whom I trust more than myself
Whom I believe more than god
Thank God for giving him as my friend
Thank you for being my friend

BhaShe

(Dedicated)

At Work:

2011-10-04T05:56:00.000-07:00

Girls die to see your face everyday
You are a charmer, deserve that waiting
You bring out star’s sparkles in those waited eyes
You drive those ladies crazy

You are so unpredictable
The jokes you crack are not funny at times
No one can say, when and on what you laugh
We laugh with you forcefully sometimes

When you laugh, you make it so great
Light up all those eyes around you
Make them feel ah! You are so sweet
Make them feel oh! You are so smart

Your small twinkling eyes
Have the capacity to show thousand emotions
They tell your anger and show your smile
They grasp the whole place at a glance

Your catchy face catches ladies attention
So does your soft dressing sense
You look just right in everything you wear
Perfect clothing for your size zero figure

You walk like a cheetah, fast and soft
Talk like a musician, detailed and sweet
Eat like a bird, quick and clean
Oh! You are such a perfect man

Non-comprehendible yet sweet,
You make all hearts beat fast
Amazingly smart but difficult sometimes
Unique person, undoubtedly a sweetheart

Guess you know how to attract women
Guess you know about that advantage of yours
You use it very carefully, no one can notice
Play yourself very safe, just right

You are sun but make yourself look like moon
Bright and shiny every time
Only the ones close to you see and feel your heat, get burnt
For the rest, you are a glow in their heart.

BhaShe

(Dedicated to "Him" and all those girls who spoke so much about him and have inspired me to write this) I Love My Office ;)

Poppet

2011-09-26T07:27:00.000-07:00

You have made me your poppet
You play me very bad
Hurt me always and make me cry
When your magic fades away and
I start to turn back to my human form
You wave your magic wand
Filled with lies and false love
To turn me into your poppet

You know me very well from deep inside
You are smart enough to know my heart
You smell my feelings even before they are born
You make a plan to cheat in advance
You play different dice every time
Make me fall to your cunning trap
Fool me to be in your control always
Take advantage of my simplicity and innocence

You know my likes and dislikes very well
Know my strong and weak points
You play your cards, best for the moment
Make me believe to your lies trumpet
Tie me to yourself with your falsified love
Make me hold tight, when I want to go
Use me whenever and however you can
Convince me whatever you do is for my best

You have made me into a poppet in your hands
I dance to your tunes, act as you want
Buried all my emotions and real me inside
Faking happiness and love outside
A breathing dead body, a soulless life
Dancing on the edge of a sharp knife
Am no more human, no darling, just poppet
I don’t have a story of mine, no love, no rest.

Bhashe

Dream

2011-09-17T04:50:00.000-07:00

It was such a beautiful dream
Left a lightening smile on my face
I woke up and opened my eyes
But my mind was still thinking of the dream

I wish it becomes real very soon
No pain, if it does not become one
I had that dream, that’s enough for now
I know the dream shall fade away somehow

Whom should I thank for making me get that dream?
The half an hour talks with a dear friend
My punching bag, my loving husband
Or the intoxication and thoughts in my mind

Am so happy, I had that beautiful dream
I know I wish so much for it to come true
Happy having a bright beginning of the day
Waiting to retain the smile and joy

BhaShe

Don't Blame Me!

2011-08-24T06:20:00.000-07:00

Don't blame me for what you are today!
Who asked you to trust me or love me?
I live my life as per my fancies
You can’t blame me for what you are today

I agree, I broke promises, aren’t they meant for?
I missed your birthdays, our dinner plans
Am I not supposed to have a life without you in it?
You can’t blame me for you being sad all the time

Yes, I broke your trust, went around with other guys
Made a fool of you and laughed when you cried
Am not your possession and you cannot rule my mind
You cannot blame me for you going into depression

Yes, I broke your heart, I never loved you, but played
Made you fall in love with me, made you my puppet
Where was your brain? Why you deal through heart?
You can’t blame me for ruining your life

You can only blame me for my madness and attitude
Blame me for all the wrong things I did to myself
Blame me for not understanding how precious true love is
Blame me for losing a real loving heart, like yours.

BhaShe

Birth Festival (Huttu Habba)

2011-08-16T06:58:00.000-07:00

It is not birthday, not just another ‘day’
It is called ‘birth festival’ in Kannada
It’s somebody’s day, their festival
People around them celebrate it
Celebrate the person that was born

It is celebrating that life, like they want
As everybody is unique and different
That day and time is special for that person
To cherish the presence of that person
And to thank god, for a unique gift

It is mine today, my birthday
I recall some memories of this special day
That I have spent with my parents, friends and family
All those years, that no longer comes back
The journey of my life, till date

I am happy today, celebrating my festival
This day is mine, and people remember to wish
They make me feel special today, I thank them
It is not another anniversary or festival
It is my birth festival, my happy day!

BhaShe

Him V/S Me

2011-07-25T03:49:00.000-07:00

Love fight.

Him:

What do you want from me?

I don’t want to be there for you anymore
If we had anything, that is already over
Leave me alone to lead my life
I have changed, you are not my type

Yesterday is lost, and doesn’t come back
No hard feelings on the walked track
You are now a detached wagon
Why can’t you realize? Why can’t you move on?

There are no reasons and answers to your questions
I have all rights to choose my own foes and friends
If my decisions have bothered you, I have nothing to say
I can’t help it, if you still feel you were a prey

What do you want from me, when I am not up to give
Stay away, please follow “live and let live”
My life is on my terms, you are not welcome anymore
Go out, have fun, fill your life, don’t be a bore.

Me:

You say it’s your life
Same applies to me
You say you want me no more
These words I hate, why should I care

Your feelings are priority to you
So is the case with me
If you are asking me to get out of your life
Why should I do when I want you back

You hide behind silence, I’ll keep calling your name
You don’t react, don’t bother, I’ll make my game
I’ll play on behalf of both of us, like they do in chess
Oh! You may say, I am such a mess

As you want your life in your terms, so do I
If silence is your weapon, dreams are mine
Our worlds may never collide, never become one
But with myself, with you in my dreams, am having fun.

BhaShe

I hate you

2011-07-12T06:55:00.000-07:00

All I want to tell you is I hate you
For igniting positive thoughts in my mind
For making me smile all the while
For forcing me to get addicted to you

Any effort to be angry on you
Any intentions to fight and shout
Fail inside, just so easily
What have you made me in to?

That spring of love inside my heart
That you found, can never get dried
I always land up smiling
Whenever I think of you

It feels like rain drops, like flowers
Like sun set, moon light and cold wind
Like river, like mist and like infant
Bring a smile, whenever thought about

I fail to understand the craziness inside
I just open my arms wide
Wanting and waiting to give you a hug
And tell you how much I hate you

BhaShe

Closed Doors

2011-06-15T22:49:00.000-07:00

I knock repeatedly on those closed doors
Sometimes a window gets open
A glimpse of my beloved’s face is seen
Then the window is shut again
Sometime I hear some voices
They guide me and disappear

I leave the door
Telling myself that I won’t return
Nobody invites me there and
No reciprocation when I go
I find myself in front of the door often
Ignoring my words, not minding the negligence, insult

I don’t know what’s behind those closed doors
I want those doors open once
To see what is inside
I don’t intend to steal or break
I won’t touch anything inside, I promise
Am just curious to know

In my dreams I see
Those closed doors open for me
Some beautiful colors and voices inside
Mesmerizing stories and tales
Remaining of yesterday and plans of tomorrow
I wake up and wonder is that what it is?

BhaShe

Failure

2011-06-14T01:17:00.000-07:00

I somehow suddenly start missing you
I visit those residual of our ruined relationship
To excavate, hoping to find a soothing memory

This happens when I am in trouble, mostly
I do remember you when I am happy, but
Like empty mind is, troubled mind is also devil’s workshop

I somehow feel you are a solution
May be solution of escape, but temporary relief
Probably what I want is change, a break from current life

Guess its habitual that I miss you when in pain
Don’t know how much time it will take
For me to lose this habit, to stop missing you

Healing time is long, as I was thrown out mercilessly
Otherwise, I would have recovered quickly I guess,
Still wonder, if I took anyone else as close as you were

Am I still seeking for answers? Searching in the scrap
Yes, sometimes no, depends on when I think about you
I am gradually losing the flavor, dreams are less colorful

I need to let go, let go those memories, feelings and thoughts
Let go the anger and pain I have, caused by you
Let go the silence created by you, let go the smile given by you

I need an alternate, who can replace you
A real friend who can make me forget you
These lines make something very obvious doesn’t it?

Should I tell you that I miss you and show you I am weak
Or keep it to myself, hiding it inside all outside layers
Attempt to ignore gets never successful as it start with reminding

BhaShe

You Are More Like God

2011-05-31T22:11:00.000-07:00

You have left an impression on me
You left more ends untied
I am puzzled and I keep looking for right ends to join
More than knowing you, I have imagined about you

You will always be the same for me
Even though you are actually a changed person in reality
I will always look at you the way I did, and respect
In my case, ignorance has become a bliss in disguise

When those dreams break and hurt me
Or when they come true and thrill me
I think of you and bring your face in front of my eyes
Nothing is ever as lovely and as painful as you are

From a known person, you are more of an imaginary friend now
I get creative in bringing life to those conversations
As you know, all I need is somebody to listen
And rarely anybody to guide me or even reply

I think of you when I am happy or sad
You are my prescribed antidepressant
Those words I whisper in the air about things I wanted to say
Get the burden off me, without troubling you

You are almost like god now
Unknown, not seen, curiosity and controversy
I believe you are there, but not sure if you can hear me
Your silence does not bother me anymore

BhaShe

ಗಂಡಸರೇ

2011-05-24T00:40:00.000-07:00

ನಿಮ್ಮ ಕೀರ್ತಿಯ ಬಸಿರ ಹೊರಲು ನಾವೇ ಬೇಕು
ಇಲ್ಲದ ಸಂಭ್ರಮ ನಿಮ್ಮಲ್ಲಿ, ಬೀಗುವಿರಿ ದೊಡ್ಡದೇನೋ ಸಾಧಿಸಿದ ಖುಷಿಯಲ್ಲಿ
ಹೊಟ್ಟೆಯಲ್ಲಿರುವ ಚಿಗುರಿನ ಬೇರು
ಯಾವತ್ತೂ ನಮ್ಮ ಹೊಟ್ಟೆಯ ಗುಟ್ಟು, ನಿಮಗೇನು ಗೊತ್ತು?

ಬೊಗಸೆ ಪ್ರೀತಿಗಾಗಿ, ಗೆಳೆತನಕ್ಕಾಗಿ ಬೇಡುವ ನಾವು
ಅದಕ್ಕೇ ಹಿಗ್ಗಿ ಹೀರೆಕಾಯಿಯಾಗುವ ನೀವುಗಳು
ನಾವೇ ಬಿಟ್ಟು ಕೊಟ್ಟ ರಾಜ್ಯಕ್ಕೆ ಅಧಿಪತಿಯಾಗಿ
ನಮ್ಮ ಮೇಲೇ ದಬ್ಬಾಳಿಕೆ ಮಾಡುವ ಮೀಸೆ ಹೊತ್ತ ಜಿರಳೆಗಳು

ಎಂದಿಗೂ ತ್ಯಾಗ, ಬಲಿದಾನವೆಲ್ಲಾ ಹೆಣ್ಣಿನ ಜವಾಬ್ದಾರಿಯೇ
ಮೈ ಬೆಳೆದರೂ ಬುದ್ಧಿ ಬೆಳೆಯದ ಗಂಡುಕುಲಕ್ಕೆ
ಹೆಣ್ಣು ಜಾತಿಯ ಅರ್ಥವಾಗದ ತಳಮಳಗಳ ತಿಳಿಸಬೇಕು
ನಿಮ್ಮನ್ನು ಮನುಷ್ಯರಾಗಿಸುವಲ್ಲಿ, ನಮ್ಮ ಕೂದಲು ಹಣ್ಣು

ನಿಮ್ಮ ಹೆತ್ತಿದ್ದಕ್ಕಾಗಿ, ಪೊರೆದಿದ್ದಕ್ಕಾಗಿ, ಸಂತಾನ ಸುಖ ನೀಡಿದ್ದಕ್ಕಾಗಿ
ಪಿತೃಗಳೆಂದಿದ್ದಕ್ಕಾಗಿ, ನಿಮಗಾಗಿ ಅತ್ತಿದ್ದಕ್ಕಾಗಿ, ನಿಮ್ಮೊಡನೆ ನಕ್ಕಿದ್ದಕ್ಕಾಗಿ
ನಮ್ಮನ್ನೂ ಒಮ್ಮೊಮ್ಮೆ ಪರಿಗಣಿಸಿ, ನಿಮ್ಮ ಆದ್ಯತೆಗಳಲ್ಲಿ
ನಿಮಗೆ ನಾವಿತ್ತ ಸಂಭ್ರಮದಲ್ಲಿ, ನಮಗೂ ಒಂದು ಪಾಲಿರಲಿ.

ಭಾಶೆ

Goddess of Happiness

2011-05-16T01:41:00.000-07:00

Some tunes go around in my heart
I feel happy and sad together
Some incomplete feeling raises strongly
Feels as if am intoxicated or in dream

I feel hot and cold, I like myself
I look at mirror so many times
Just to check if I look okay
Who says these things happen only at sixteen?

I wanna stretch my hand to reach to people I want
It feels as if the world is revolving around me
It’s like a deep routed desire, grows as you cut
A desire which runs in my veins

I feel it’s not me, inside me, anymore
Its somebody else, formed of rain drops
Formed of hailstones, of river water
Formed of bird chirping, and evening breeze

Formed of crystals of love and happiness
Formed of spilled wine from the glass
Formed of a scent, of a sweet dream, of desire
Formed of that unknown, unseen angel

I am all feathers and flying around
I am all music, submerged in air
I am all dance, in every step, part of life,
I am the bliss, smile of god, happiness of earth

Spreading naughtiness and cheer all around
Multiplying smile and happiness, many folds
I feel supreme, unique, on top of the world
I drive strength from the love I have in my heart and in my arms

Some unknown tune runs in my mind all the time
Making me a different person constantly
I love all the love I get and I give
I am the goddess of happiness.

BhaShe

Positivity

2011-05-10T23:53:00.001-07:00

When in dark, scared to death
Don’t lose hope, darkness has to end
Have faith and knock all the doors
One or the other shall definitely open up

Sometimes people say it’s useless
To knock a closed door
If it were to be closed all the time
It would have been wall and not door

Doors have the possibility to get open
To shed light, to show new directions
It’s like silver lining in clouds
It’s like the saying ‘everything happens for good’

Give yourself out to life, be open
For adventures, experiences, lessons
Be brave enough to take things and move on
It’s just one life, live it with positivity.

BhaShe

After you have gone

2011-04-15T00:55:00.001-07:00

Now that, I know that, you have gone
I try to find you in everybody else

I attempt to fit the names I gave you
I try and talk the way I used to talk to you
I recall those jokes and crack them again
I try and fix those loosened ends

I seek for fresh faces to speak to
Look out for fresh ideas to write
Some time ago, it was all about you
Now I want to make it about me again

Am opening the happiness doors I had closed
My hands are welcome for a friendship shake hand
Having you as a friend and losing you is tough
It is part of life; I hope to find better ones

I can see you in pieces every where
Some of your qualities here and there
Somebody has a similar voice, gesture and laugh
Somebody else cares like you and makes me feel safe

Now that, am sure, that you are no more there
Am trying not to be like you
Am more myself and losing your influence now
Am being a new me, after you have gone

BhaShe

ರಕ್ತ ಕಣ್ಣೀರು

2011-04-07T07:18:00.001-07:00

ಇದೇ ಅಲ್ಲವೇ ನಿನಗೆ ಬೇಕಾಗಿದ್ದು?
ನನ್ನ ರಕ್ತ ಕಣ್ಣೀರು

ತಣ್ಣಗೆ ನದಿಯಂತೆ ಸಾಗುತ್ತಿದ್ದ ನನ್ನ ಬಾಳಿಗೆ
ಕಲ್ಲೆಸೆದವನು ನೀನೇ
ನನ್ನ ಪಾಡಿಗೆ ನಾನಿದ್ದವಳಿಗೆ
ಇಲ್ಲದ ಆಸೆ ತೋರಿಸಿದವ ನೀನೇ

ನನ್ನದು ಅಂತ ಒಂದು ಗೂಡಿತ್ತು, ಗುರಿಯಿತ್ತು
ತನ್ನದೇ ರೀತಿಯಲಿ ನನ್ನ ಬಾಳು ಚೆಂದಿತ್ತು
ಅಳುವೋ, ನಗುವೋ, ಬಾಳಲು ಛಲವಿತ್ತು
ಹೆಜ್ಜೆಗಳ ನಾನು ನಿಧಾನವಾಗಿ ಕೀಳುತ್ತಿದ್ದರೂ
ಇಡಲು ಕಾಲಡಿ ನೆಲವಿತ್ತು

ನೀನಿತ್ತ ಕನಸುಗಳಲಿ ಬರೀ ರೆಕ್ಕೆಗಳು
ಭೂಮಿಯಿಂದೆತ್ತರದಿ ಹಾರಾಟ, ಮರಗಳ ತುದಿ ಒಡನಾಟ
ನದಿಯ ಜಲಪಾತವಾಗಿಸಿದವನೇ
ಹುಚ್ಚು ಹೆಬ್ಬಂಡೆಗಳ ತಂದುರುಳಿಸಿ ಗಲಗುಟ್ಟಿಸಿದವನೇ
ನಾನೇನು ಮಾಡಿದ್ದೆ ಹೇಳು ಇದ ಅನುಭವಿಸಲು?

ಒಮ್ಮಿಂದೊಮ್ಮೆ ಮರೆಯಾಗಲಿಲ್ಲ ನೀನು
ದಿನಾ ಕರಗುವ ಚಂದ್ರಮನಂತೆ
ಆಗೊಮ್ಮೆ ಈಗೊಮ್ಮೆ ನೆನಪಾದರೆ ಸುರಿವ ಅಡ್ಡ ಮಳೆಯಂತೆ
ಆಲಿಕಲ್ಲುಗಳ ಏಟುಗಳ ಕಲೆ, ಮೈಯೆಲ್ಲಾ ತುಂಬಿದೆ

ನದಿಯ ನೀರೊಣಗಿ, ಕನಸುಗಳ ರೆಕ್ಕೆ ಮುರಿದು
ಎಲ್ಲಾ ಮತ್ತೆ ಮಣ್ಣಿಗೆ, ಶರಣಾಗಿರುವೆ
ಎತ್ತರದಿಂದ ಬಂದು ಬಂಡೆಗಪ್ಪಳಿಸಿದ ರಭಸಕ್ಕೆ
ಬಂಡೆಗೇ ನೋವಾಗಿದೆ, ನಾನುಳಿದಿರುವೆನೆ?

ಮೋಸದ ಮುಗ್ಧ ಮುಖ ನಿನ್ನದು
ಕೃಷ್ಣನಂತದೆ ಒಂದು ಹೆಸರು, ಹಾಳಾಯ್ತು ಇಂದು
ಕಲೆಗಳು ಮಾಸಲು, ಕೊಳೆ ತೊಳೆಯಲು ಕಾಯುವೆ ಮಳೆಗೆ
ಕಣ್ಣಿಂದ ಹರಿದ ರಕ್ತ ಕಿವಿ, ಮೂಗು, ಬಾಯ ಸಂದಿಗಳಲಿ ಹೆಪ್ಪುಗಟ್ಟಿದೆ
ಮುತ್ತುವ ನೊಣಗಳ ಹಾರಿಸುವ ವ್ಯರ್ಥ ಪ್ರಯತ್ನ ಜಾರಿಯಿದೆ

ಭಾಶೆ

Pappa

2011-03-29T00:52:00.001-07:00

My hero, my friend and my companion

Melted for my stubbornness
Going an extra mile
Just to stop me cry
And see me smile

I was so afraid that afternoon
When the bus was crowded and dad on top
Putting luggage and bus moved
Could not think a day without you

Being spirited and enthusiastic
Climbing mountains, stunts on bike
Those fast rides leaving tears in my eyes
All the adventure I always wanted

Be it teaching me swimming or climbing trees
Solving my math problems or oiling my hair
Hunt for forest fruits or game of cards
Trek with cousins or feeding me when am angry

I can’t believe you can get old
Get angry and cranky and get tired
Your heart is young but body speaks
Those passing days are leaving an effect on you

I am still a kid, not ready to grow up
Not ready to accept realities of life
If the reality is to make me know you are old
I would rather always believe you are forty

I wanna be with you, see you grow old
And realizes the shift of responsibilities
Be strong like you were and look after
And make you feel special like you always did to me

BhaShe

Going Back to Childhood

2011-03-19T03:53:00.000-07:00

I went back to my childhood last week
Just few hours, but bliss and joy
Came back refilled with liveliness

Playing in the river Hemavathi
Splashing water on dad, laughing loud
Walking all over the house soaked, wet

Mom made rotti and sambar
Her little palm all over my hair
Amazing oil massage and good night kiss

Granny’s shaking hands holding mine
Her pink lips on my cheeks, gentle kiss
Her desire to hear me sing the songs she taught

I feel more energy in every nerve of mine
I feel refilled, energized and lively
I went and came back from my native

BhaShe

Suicide

2011-03-03T05:55:00.000-08:00

After a hectic week
I hit home on a Friday night
Open the door with my key and enter
I scream my lungs out
Somebody is hanging to the fan with a rope
Attempt to suicide

Only we two live here,
Who is this third person hanging?
With my heart pounding I go and see
It’s a known face, it resembles both of us
Oh my god, it’s our love
Trying to kill itself, neglected by both of us

I release it from the rope, bring it down
Pump in some love, attempting to bring back to life
Take good care of it over the weekend,
Hoping to keep it alive
It gets lonely when we both go for work
It gets sad, when we both ignore it

The love that brought us together
Is now eroding, creating a gap
It has become weak and it barely breaths
Am hiding all dangerous things away
We both are afraid to lose it but
We both just don’t try to hold it on

BhaShe

Key To Happiness

2011-02-17T03:40:00.000-08:00

We handover our key to happiness
to somebody else just like that
thinking that they will take care of it
forgetting how precious it is

some do take care of it
keeping that smile on our face always
some throw the key to some unknown corner
ignoring out happiness, forgetting what it means to us

from our own hands we bring emotions to life
by loving some and by hating some
we give out the responsibility of handling us
thinking and believing that it is worth it

every drop of tear and every moment of smile
come out having somebody's name on them
the key to our happiness is never in our hands
we keep making false attempts to be happy.

BhaShe

ಸ್ತ್ರೀ ದೇವತೆ

2011-02-06T07:18:00.000-08:00

"ದೇವರಿಗೆಲ್ಲಿದೆ ಸ್ವಾತಂತ್ರ"
ಗರ್ಭಗುಡಿಯೊಳಗೆ ಬಂಧಿಯಾಗಿ
ಕೊಡುವ ಅಲ್ಪ ನೈವೇದ್ಯಕ್ಕೆ ತೃಪ್ತನಾಗಿ
ಮಲಗಲೂ ಆಗದೆ, ಕೂರಲೂ ಆಗದೆ
ನಿಲ್ಲುವ ದೇವರಿಗೆಲ್ಲಿದೆ ಸ್ವಾತಂತ್ರ

ನಾವು ಮಾಡಿದಾಗ ಪೂಜೆ ಮಂಗಳಾರತಿ
ಇಲ್ಲದಿದ್ದರೆ ಗರ್ಭಗುಡಿಯ ಅದೇ ಹಳೇ ಉಸಿರು
ಜಿರಳೆ, ಇಲಿ, ಕ್ರಿಮಿಗಳೊಡನೆ ವಾಸ
ಗರ್ಭಗುಡಿಗೊಂದು ಕಿಟಕಿಯೂ ಇಲ್ಲ

ಯೋಚಿಸಲು ಹಲವಾರು ಚಿಂತೆಗಳು
ಯಾವಾಗಲೂ ಕಿವಿಯಾಗಿರಬೇಕಾದ ಅನಿವಾರ್ಯತೆ
ತಮ್ಮ ಬವಣೆಗಳ ನಿನಗೊಪ್ಪಿಸಿ
ನಿಂತು ನೋಡುವ ಜನರು

ಸ್ತ್ರೀಯನ್ನು ಉಬ್ಬಿಸಿ ಏರಿಸಿಬಿಟ್ಟಿದ್ದಾರೆ
"ಸ್ತ್ರೀ ದೇವತೆ"
ಅವಳಿಗೂ ಇಲ್ಲ ಸ್ವಾತಂತ್ರ
ಗಂಡನ ಅಡುಗೆ ಮನೆಯ ಬಂಧಿಯವಳು

ಕೊಡಿಸುವ ಮೂರು ಕಾಸಿನ ಸೀರೆ
ಹುಟ್ಟುವ ಹತ್ತು ಮಕ್ಕಳೊಡನೆ
ಮನೆಗೆಲಸದ ಹೊರೆ ಹೊತ್ತವಳಿಗೆ
ಅತ್ತೆ ಮನೆಯವರ ಪೂಜೆ, ಮಂಗಳಾರತಿ

ಹೆಣ್ಣೇ, ನೀ ದೇವರಾಗಬೇಡ
ಗಂಡು ಮನುಷ್ಯನ ಸಮಾಜಕ್ಕೆ ಬಾ
ನಿನಗಿರುವ ಪಟ್ಟಗಳ ಕಿತ್ತೆಸೆದು
ದೈವತ್ವದ ಬಂಧನ ದೇವರಿಗಷ್ಟೇ ಇರಲಿ

ಭಾಶೇ

I wrote this poem sometime in 2002. After coming to a bigger city like Bangalore and after 8 years, when I read it, I get a question is this still relevant? It may still be relevant and I might not have been looking at that part of the society anymore!
Hope you enjoy reading it.

Emotionally Challenged

2011-01-31T00:15:00.001-08:00

I have forgotten to laugh out loud
Guess am emotionally challenged

Child of destiny, poppet of time
No hard feelings, no tears of joy
Inability to attach or detach
Living like a dead body

Fake faces and fake life
Acting every day in real life
Posing as if everything is fine
Dreaming of getting rid

It’s like heart is on a swing
Neither here, nor there
Inability to be what I want to be
Stuck with the past in present

Praying for this ice to break
To be able to lead a normal life
To be able to have my real face
And live the way I like and as I want

BhaShe

Blessed with short memory

2011-01-25T01:40:00.000-08:00

Am blessed with short memory
Be it pain or pleasure, it gets erased
Every morning I get up afresh
Storage space gets emptied during my sleep

Carry no revenge, no hatredness
Dreams fade, fights vanish, feelings disappear
Easy and fast, like in a snapshot
I don’t get stuck or get hooked on to

It’s like a paper boat on the water
Going by the water flow or wind direction
Making as less disturbance on the water
Leaving no paths of my movement

I don’t know if it’s a bliss or a bane
Being able to let go and forgive and forget
I happily open my arms for all new things
As the old ones shade away inside

BhaShe

Seeking for God

2011-01-18T23:32:00.000-08:00

I had always thought “tujme rab dikhta hai” statement is an exaggeration but now-a-days kind of started realizing that it can be true too. How do you define god? I would say, the one who takes care of you, the one always wants good for you, the one whom you can love, depend and be yourself with, the one you can blindly believe, and one you obey, the one who is an answer for all the questions you have. I mean, even if my definition is a little too much please bear with me, but that’s what/who is god right?.

I have always been wondering, how a mom could love her kid so much, or any person whom one loves. Have we not seen flaws and problems with all sorts of love we give and get. This concept of love has always been very confusing for me. Let me accept that I am a little too self centered and love myself so much that I have very little space to accommodate my loved ones. When anybody, for that matter anybody tells me that they love me so much, this that and everything, I keep wondering how do they have the ability to love somebody so much.

Love somebody so much? there comes the condition part too. Ok! You are not supposed to do like this, talk like this to me, treat me like this… coz I love you. Expectations and demands and terms and conditions, I guess one’s life sees both the best and the worst parts of their lives only because of their loved ones. (do you accept this? Correct me if am wrong) Another set of complication is with the definition of love. If I tell my good friend that I love her, it is taken as friendship, if I just replace the her with him, then, am not sure if I am taken rightly or not. Is love means sharing the living space, or sharing some moments of life or just being there in one corner wishing and praying for the best things for the loved ones? Anyways, I don’t think there is a solid definition or the right or wrong answer to this. All this is just gray areas.

However, all these conditions do not come to picture only when somebody have an unconditional love to somebody else. The way they say, the only thing I want is you to be happy and stuff. Is it really possible to love somebody without any condition? Imagine a scene where you pour in love on somebody and that somebody just ignores you. Would you still be able to love them? That way you had felt or done it before? Or is it only on the books?

Coming back to God, the ability to love God and be unconditional with him would be such a pleasure. He won’t directly ask you to do something but get it done through you if he needs, and just let you be what you are or make you what he wants you to be. Realizing this and loving him sounds so peaceful and joyful. However, I fail to make a connect with him. I fail to associate him with somebody or something. I know I need to gain that peace of mind and have the feeling that everything is running as he wants it to be, but am failing to connect the dots.

If any of you know, can you please explain me how a human progresses towards making life simpler and better? What is the first step and what are the baby steps that help somebody move on? I just finished the 5th chapter of the Holy Geetha and it promises to talk about the baby steps from 6th chapter on. Reading is fine but if I don’t implement or practice then is it any good that I read it? Am looking for some help in bringing things to practice.

When I was a kid, I saw my grand pa do pooja every morning for at least one and a half hours, doing ‘abhisheka’ and ‘naivedya’ and arti, chanting the ‘sooktas’. I wonder if he actually understood the meaning of every ‘mantra’ he chanted. The ‘gayatri jap’ is done to bring peace of mind and it’s a powerful source/means to start meditation, but my grand pa was not peaceful. He was very aggressive and short tempered. I am bringing in all that I have seen, heard, read and showcasing where I stand. I can’t do pooja unless I understand it. The need for knowledge and the need for self identification is what I am wanting to fulfill.

The moment I say knowledge and the need t know more, does this cuts-off the possibility of having an unconditional love towards God be able to realize am his poppet? Please… suggest me books (better if they are available in Kannada) and tell me, where you stand. I seek for help.

Sometimes I wonder, am I doing it because I want to run away, I am afraid of failures, am I suffering from the Arjun syndrome? and I fail to understand where I stand. How can one get to know what do they want out of life?

BhaShe

Ragged!

2011-01-13T13:33:00.000-08:00

Tears all over, hurt in pain
People around me are laughing at me
I have become an element for fun
I got ragged

Torn and hurt, wounds and swelling showing up
Shivering me, dried throat, lost my mind
Humiliated, just wanting an escape
I got ragged

Life is ragging me every single day
Breaking my small and sweet dreams and wishes
Making me naked in public
Destroying my self-confidence and pride

I pray for strength to overcome this pain
To fight those hands and save myself
To earn the capacity to stop such situations
To have peace of mind about tomorrow.

BhaShe

Dude! I will miss you

2011-01-06T21:13:00.000-08:00

You were the window for the man’s world
Hearts were kept open for each other to read
The more we spoke, the stronger got our friendship
Many common things kept us attached

I don’t know why I am writing this poem for you
But I don’t want to stop it either
I wanna tell you, you were special to me and
I will miss you when you are gone

No great philosophy, no great showing off
We just had a lot of good moments and tons of smile
I know I will remember that all and laugh again
Whenever I feel the need of that warmth you gave me always
Dude! I will miss you badly when you are gone.

BhaShe

This poem is a special dedication to my colleague, friend, HIM!. When we worked as a team, we had great time, fight over decisions, pulling each other’s leg and sharing our poetry.
He left the company and moved on!
This is for you dear! J This was written the day when he told me he is looking for a new job.

Yes! I still miss him! It’s been so many days he is gone, but I miss him still. I feel, if I go back to his cubicle in 3rd floor I can still meet him, or in the cubicle in 2nd floor. He would ask me to wait to solve my issue till he finishes what he is doing, or show me a funny video clip or something n make me laugh or say something really funny or act something making me believe, what he said is true n tell me he was bluffing. It was good, gooooooood dear! And I guess I will miss u always!

You

2010-12-28T21:53:00.000-08:00

We are two parts of the same soul
Having our journey directed towards different directions
We are walking together, staying apart
Those miles between us does not count here

It’s the link between hearts not hands
That holds our heart beats together
It’s the need we have for each other
That binds us despite all differences

We share dreams and think similar
Love life the way it deserves
Preserve every smile for each other and share
It’s a bliss to have someone like you in life

You pour positivity in to my life
Energy in to my mind and smile on my face
When with you, every cloud shows a silver lining
Life gets brighter and better in your presence

Its beyond definition and seamlessly vast
To share this life with you, is the best part
Whatever you are, whatever the relation is
It makes life happier and gives reasons to live.

BhaShe

Evolution

2010-12-15T23:52:00.000-08:00

Journey from yesterday to tomorrow
Unveiling of new faces and new roles

Not what I was or what I am
Not being one, being many at once
Not knowing what I am going to be
Just knowing about the expansion

Losing the old skin, old face, old thoughts
Losing boundary limits and definitions
Losing oneness in creating oneness
Losing a lot to create and gain lot more

It’s the power, its identity, its real me
Going beyond and above, crossing borders
It’s about the inner sprout, the strength
The ability to make myself the way I want

It’s the journey started to end one day
But, to leave marks and set milestones
It’s not about the destiny but the journey in itself
That shows how I have evolved!

BhaShe

ಬಳ್ಳಿ

2010-12-13T21:29:00.000-08:00

ಹುಟ್ಟುವಾಗ ನಾವೆಲ್ಲರೂ ಒಂದೇ ಥರ
ಕೊಂಚ ಕೊಂಚವೇ ಬೆಳೆದಾಗ ಅರಿವಾಗುತ್ತೆ
ನಾವು ಬಳ್ಳಿಗಳೆಂದು, ನೀವು ಮರಗಳೆಂದು

ಮೊದಲು ಅಪ್ಪ ಎಂಬ ಮರಕ್ಕೆ ಒರಗಿ ನಿಂತು
ಅಲ್ಲಲ್ಲಿ ಕೆಲವು ಬಳ್ಳಿಗಳ ಬಿಟ್ಟು, ಅಂಟಿ
ಕಾಯುವುದು ನಮ್ಮದಾಗುವ ಮರಕ್ಕೆ

ಅಪ್ಪ ಮರದಿಂದ ಗಂಡ ಮರಕ್ಕೆ ಅಂಟಿದಂತೆ
ಶುರು ನಮ್ಮ ಬೆಳವಣಿಗೆ, ಹಬ್ಬುವಿಕೆ
ನಲವತ್ತೈವತ್ತು ವರ್ಷಗಳ ಒಡನಾಟಕ್ಕೆ ನಾಂದಿ

ನಿಮ್ಮ ಮೈಯೆಲ್ಲಾ ಹಬ್ಬಿ ತಬ್ಬಿ ಮುಚ್ಚಿಬಿಡುತ್ತೇವೆ
ಮೃದು ಕೈಗಳಿಂದ ಕಚಗುಳಿಯಿಟ್ಟು ತಟ್ಟಿ ಮುದ್ದಾಡುತ್ತೇವೆ
ಅಪ್ಪುತ್ತೇವೆ, ಆವರಿಸುತ್ತೇವೆ, ಆಧಾರವೂ ಆಗುತ್ತೇವೆ

ಈ ಬಳ್ಳಿ ಮರದ ಆಟದಲ್ಲಿ, ಬಳ್ಳಿಯೋ ಮರವೋ ಹುಟ್ಟಿ
ಕಣ್ಣೆದುರಿಗೇ ದೊಡ್ಡದಾಗುತ್ತದೆ, ಶುರು ಮತ್ತೆ ಸಂಸಾರ
ಇದೇ ಅಲ್ಲವೇ ಆ ದೇವನಾಡುವ ವ್ಯಾಪಾರ

ನಿಮ್ಮ ಒರಟು ಕೈ ಕಾಲುಗಳಿಗೆ, ಒರಟು ಮನಗಳಿಗೆ
ಕಚಗುಳಿಯಿಡುವ ಸೂಕ್ಷ್ಮತೆಯಿಲ್ಲ, ನಾವು ಒಪ್ಪಿಕೊಳ್ಳುತ್ತೇವೆ
ನಿಮ್ಮ ಅವಿರತ ಸ್ಪೂರ್ತಿಯಾಗಿ, ಅಮೃತ ಬಳ್ಳಿಗಳಾಗುತ್ತೇವೆ

ನಾವೇನಾದರೂ ಸತ್ತುಹೋದರೆ, ಬೆತ್ತಲಾಗುತ್ತೀರ ನೀವು ಜಗದೆದುರು
ನಾವು ಮುಚ್ಚಿಟ್ಟ ಒಣ ಬೊಡ್ಡೆಗಳು ಗಾಯಗಳೆಲ್ಲ ಆಚೆಗೆ
ಆಧಾರ ತಪ್ಪಿದಂತಾಗಿ ಸೊರಗುತ್ತೀರ, ಕೊರಗುತ್ತೀರ, ನಲುಗುತ್ತೀರ

ನೀವೇನಾದರೂ ಸತ್ತುಹೋದರೆ, ಬೀಳಗೊಡುವುದಿಲ್ಲ ನಾವು
ನಮ್ಮ ಬಳ್ಳಿಗಳಲೇ ಸುತ್ತುಗಟ್ಟಿ, ಮನದೊಳಗೇ ಸ್ಥಾಪಿಸಿ ಮುಂದುವರಿಯುತ್ತೇವೆ
ಮಗನದೋ, ಮಗಳದೋ ಆಸರೆಗಂಟಿ

ಬಳ್ಳಿ, ಬದುಕು, ಕಾಯಿ, ಮರ, ನೆನ್ನೆ, ನಾಳೆಗಳ ಗೋಜಲು
ಈ ಸಂಸಾರ, ಸಮಾಜ, ನೆರೆ ಹೊರೆ, ಬಂಧು, ಬಳಗಗಳು
ಬಾಳ ಹಾದಿಯ ಅನಿವಾರ್ಯ ಪುಟಗಳು, ಕೆಲವೊಮ್ಮೆ ಪರ್ವಗಳು

ಭಾಶೇ

Myself

2010-12-06T20:42:00.000-08:00

I am not made of stone or metal
I am made of butter and have a melting heart
I scream out of joy and not anger
I want to hold hands and walk, not fight

You call me a coward, I normally deny
Why should I anymore? I accept, I am afraid
I am not meant to be a warrior, a fighter
I want colors on my fingertips and not blood

Only emotion I carry is love
Red color, roses, evening beach walks
Winter designs of clouds in the sky
Sunsets, birds, river, breeze and rain

I am simple, uncomplicated, and transparent
Get me a gogappa or a cup of sweet corn
A walk in the evening, a small ice candy, am happy
My heart melts for a cup of strong coffee too

My eyes are meant to dream, ears for music
My hands for colors and feet for dance
Don’t make me lose my innocence and sweetness
Without which I am just not myself

BhaShe

Husband Stealer

2010-11-26T05:54:00.000-08:00

Beware! Keep your husband away from me
I am a husband stealer

I know to play all types of cards, love, sex, sweetness
I have the charm, mind and the body
I make myself every man’s desire
I have taken oath to destroy loyalty

I can make myself a perfect fit for anybody
Be it, looking for beauty, intelligence or love
I always come as a complete package
Leaving every man needing for more

Don’t worry if you have dumb, rock husbands
I steal only the lively emotional husbands
The one’s who can value love and beauty
The one’s who want to rule intelligence and charm

My heart doesn’t melt for those wives tears
I am a born witch, I am as man’s desire
If you want to have him all, you better give it all
World has no dearth for stealers like me

BhaShe

This poem is dedicated to "her", my source of inspiration! :)

Bother

2010-11-18T22:32:00.000-08:00

It bothers you only till you care

All the negligence in her eyes
She was my best friend just a while ago
Her jealousy started pricking me from all sides
My broken heart was relieved in your arms
Her porcupine stares doesn’t hurt anymore

You broke my heart and walked off
My soft heart filled with love and care
Tears drained out all my emotions
Now you are an abuse in my dictionary
I don’t bother and it won’t hurt anymore

In the arms of beloved, parents or alcohol
Tears roll out draining the pain
A smile gets lighted after all the rain
Someone else fills the emptiness created by another
Stop breaking your mind, it doesn’t bother anymore

BhaShe

Love is in the Air

2010-11-18T04:42:00.001-08:00

What is falling in love, or what is love? Every time I use this term “love” so many names flash in my mind. Your name is one among that. When a relationship is by birth, then there is no complication as we know what it is and where we are landing. But life is not limited to people we know when we are born. So many interesting people we find in the journey of life that, we get attached to them and relate to them. We try and define every relations we establish and to put people in categories. Friends, enemies, close friends, boy/girls friends, lovers and life partners. In a lot of these relations we have I see an overlap and very thin lines between each other.

I always have this question what is loving someone? Is it deciding to stay with them always, sharing life, sharing part of life, or just sitting far but praying for their happiness. I have felt these feelings for different people at different part of times in my life, but still am looking for answers. These poems are written as I seek answers and opinions from around people.

Every time I hear your name
My heart beats raises up
Every time I think of you
I lose sleep & just see your face

I see your face in every face I see
And think you are here in front of me
I want and wish to get such surprise from you
I don’t know what this feeling is called

I forget myself listening to love songs
Do I think of you and me in the lyrics?
I stop and think what was I doing…
Am lost always thinking about you

Am I in love, have failed finding an answer
Is it crush, infatuation or momentary madness?
Hey! Dear, once help me find out
Help me find myself in you

Confusion:

Every time I think of you
I lose myself in memories
Is this love is a big question
What is love is another one

I have failed to answer the questions
I fail to name the feeling I have for you
I don’t dare to seek an answer now
Let it live the way it is now

We both are tied to whatever we have
Our decisions have taken over our freedom
Those limitless feelings raise and fall
Leaving me day dreaming of perfect picture

I don’t want to give up on this
You are my only source of happiness
I latch on to whatever little I get from you
I preserve all of them as they deserve it

How do I put limit to my feelings & thoughts
When my heart beat is linked to yours
I leave the decision part to time and destiny
As my own heart is not in my hands

BhaShe

Please leave your opinion and help me! Thanks

Lost in Love

2010-11-08T01:26:00.001-08:00

I kept on sinking in the quick sand of your love
You were standing safe, stared for long and walked away!
My eyes were locked in yours, hands held high for help
You didn’t bother to help me or get help

We had some great days when in love
So many conversations, poems, full moon night outs
I was smelling love, seeing love, living love,
The whole world used to envy us, for what we have

I went mad in your love, reached heights
You started taking me for granted, ignoring me
The more I tried tightening my grip on you
The more you tried to get freed from me

You succeeded, I failed, I lost myself in love
You left me alone, to suffer, in whatever I had done to myself
They found my body in the quick sand
Burnt it, they forgot me, you moved on

You can still find me in the tears of beloveds’
In the scream of people lost love, in treatment centers
You can still find me in the eyes of young couples
In the dusk, in air and in the destroyed dreams of ours

BhaShe

Journey

2010-10-27T12:54:00.000-07:00

Pack your bags my love, will miss you sweetheart

This is a journey inside a journey
A war within a war
At the turning point you are standing
You have to choose a way

Your conscious decision to leave something
People join and leave while you travel
Some say, they want to be with you, no matter what
Life is uncertain, change is only common

You left behind someone to join someone else
You were sure of your decision when you made it
This is another turning point, where I speak
Where I ask you to chose a path, with me or not

Pack your bags my love and leave me
If you have no more love for me, but love another
Don’t cheat me on my back and cause pain
I won’t ask you a question if you leave

I won’t ask you what she got that I don’t
I won’t cry and mess, or fight and hurt
Just don’t hurt me with you lies and fake smiles
We can behave like two mature individuals

I wish you luck and wish myself the same
Let our journey give us surprises
I will miss you for sure, for sharing my life for so long
But with a hope to have a better tomorrow.

BhaShe

Afraid of Falling for You

2010-10-23T05:12:00.000-07:00

I turn down every chance to meet you
I am afraid I will fall in love
I rarely talk to you and have short talks
I am afraid I will fall for your sweet voice
I am afraid I will love your smile
And go mad about your attitude

I just sit far and watch you
Watch you spread the joy everywhere
Watch you, colorful human being
Loving, caring, sweet, soft being
Watch you smile, watch you talk
And hold myself back just to watch you

You come in my dreams and I day dream
Think of your charisma and beauty
Get afraid, I would fall for you
Divert my mind and get busy
But your personality has left an impression
You always stay in my heart

Is it fine if I fall for you?
Will you be able to digest this?
I do not want to become tears in your eyes
All I want is to see you happy always
I stand in shadow and watch you always
Pray for your happiness and hope to see you always

BhaShe

अकेली पड जाती हूँ

2010-10-18T21:36:00.000-07:00

बारह तेरह घंटे काम के बाद
laptop के बैग उठा के घर जाते वक़्त
घर का ताला खोल के अन्दर जाने के बाद
अकेली पड़ जाती हूँ

खुद के सपनो के साथ पापा के सपने
सब एक के बाद एक तोड़ने के बाद
जब गुजरे और आने वाले कल के बारे में सोचती हूँ
अकेली पड़ जाती हूँ

ग़मों के यादों में जब खो जाती हूँ
जब अजीब सा दर्द उठता है दिल में
आखों से पानी टपकने लगता है
में अकेली पड जाती हूँ

भीख मांगती हूँ एक मुस्कान के लिए
रोती हूँ, हँसती हूँ, खुद से बात करती हूँ
अकेलापन दूर करने की कोशिश करते-करते
मैं फिर से अकेली पड़ जाती हूँ

भाशे

Love(less) Story

2010-10-12T23:04:00.000-07:00

Staying together to share our love
Got into the marriage bond, social security
In the initial days everything was colorful
Love but nothing, it was life

Late work hours, crushes, flirts
Taking for granted, fights, silences
Days, weeks, months, pass by easily
Life is getting faded, dull and boring

We are no more as close as we were
The reservoir of love is getting drained
Priorities have changed, so do feelings
Chemistry, physics, biology, nothing’s working

I don’t dare to think of tomorrow, it’s scary
Am not able to work on it today, am busy
Hope we both realize the value of each other in life
Before we lose both love and life in our lives.

BhaShe

Living in Love

2010-10-06T22:26:00.000-07:00

Loving someone just inside your heart
No confession, no proposal, no commitments
Keep thinking, praying, dreaming
Just keep loving someone inside ones heart

No expectations, no demands
Being happy with whatever bits one gets
No force, no emotion, showing nothing out
Just lighting up every day for that person

Is it possible to spend a lifetime
Always dreaming about the one you love
Making your heart go crazy in dreams
And not expressing, not expecting

Unconditional, unintentional pure love
Read in fairy tales, love stories
Is it possible to live a life in love?
I seek answers from all around

BhaShe

castle

2010-09-30T08:32:00.000-07:00

You are a colorful castle
Mesmerizing from outside
Attractive and very strong
Every queen wants to own you
They feel safe being inside you

So many secrets hid behind those closed doors
Kings and queens get in to puzzles to find the key
You have mysteries surrounding you
They want to know you, want to open your doors
The keys are never found and seem lost in history

Some say you are a human, or a ghost
Locked yourself up in your own heart
Showing the old glorious face outside
But hiding the pain and suffering inside
You stink because of the air locked in you

You haven’t seen sunlight for years and decades
Lot of untold stories still whisper inside
People keep trying to break the curse and find the key
They keep falling in love with you
You remain, as you were, closed and strong

BhaShe

Creative People

2010-09-23T04:59:00.000-07:00

We creative people
We are never satisfied
Always wanting to make things better

Every time we create a master piece
We run behind creating another one
For our thirst, there is no end

Every time we set a mile stone
We want to add another feather to our hat
Always wanting to be unique and special

Our desires in life also never end
Always want to have encouraging attention
Eager for greater recognitions

Sometimes so confused by the charms of life
Having no limits to love and cheer
Cross our boundaries and extend limits

Wandering for true love always
Seeking it from all incoming sources
Basing our inspirations on those love

We love a lot and we seek for lot more love
We hurt easily, but get hurt even more easily
Sensitive, cranky yet lovable, the ‘creative people’

BhaShe

Just recovered

2010-09-14T06:59:00.000-07:00

Just recovered from the pain caused by you
It took hundreds’ of hours and liters of tears
Hours of consoling from friends
Looking from the other side of the river
Grass looks the same, realization

You don’t even have a hint of what I have been through
The same smile lingers on your face
You are always seen, without wanting to
I try and hold back to the state I have arrived
Your presence is disturbing

Guess! I should thank you, for
Making me realize how cruel this world is
Why not to trust people
How painful betrayal is
You taught me great lessons of life

I am trying to make myself happy
Bring the normalcy back to me
Collecting bits and pieces of myself, from around
Putting back myself, which you destroyed
Believing that the pain is making me stronger and wiser

BhaShe

Laughter

2010-09-04T01:33:00.000-07:00

One gloomy afternoon

Just after food, nothing to do,

This question popped up in my mind

“With whom do I most laugh with?”

I make fun, of myself mostly

Pull leg and be a joke, make others laugh

Laugh with them for being a joke

I spread laughter, I laugh with myself

When am covered with sadness and pain

Lost my smile in the flood of tension, in drain

Is there anyone who gets bothered

Who would want to light up the smile and lighten my mood

I struggled a lot to list out few names

This just told me how single and lonely I am

Adding bit more sadness and pain to my bad mood

With a sigh and dull face I got back to life.

BhaShe

Typical Indian Wife

2010-08-29T07:21:00.000-07:00

This thought came, while I was thinking about someone, who is more like Krishna in his lifestyle. He is attractive, charming and girls fall for him very easily. He is married and knows his life. Even married females fall for him. This detail that married females fall for him, made me think a little deeper about a females life. It has become common now that irrespective of being married, people are falling in love. They are seeking something, be it emotional, physical or financial, but something from outside. I have heard many such cases and have been thinking about it for long.

Now-a-days we girls fight for equality and freedom and for every other thing. We earn and have seen the world as much as a guy. We define our rules and live by them. Love marriages have increased and so is the divorce rate. Financial independence and current social system has given women all support to be her own.

I used to see my grandmother touch my grandfather’s feet every morning before getting out of bed. I saw her do this till the day grandpa died. My mom, falls on to my dad’s feet only at festivals and some special occasions. I fell on to my husband’s feet only at my wedding and after that I never did. What I am trying to show here is that the progression of equality feeling. I cannot or may not be able to see God in my husband as my granny did in hers.

If we are looking at the spiritual nature of the human beings I listed above, granny had her own way, mom has her and I am trying to find mine. The more we are getting educated and freed, the more confused we are when it comes to being spiritual and understanding life.

Probably, some 80 – 100 years ago, when girls used to get married at early ages, they had less knowledge about life and guess been less confused. Ignorance was bliss in disguise for them. Guess, they would think their husband as god and with the “Samaprpan” feeling they would do all “seva” (service) to them. Personalizing God in the form of husband and gaining “mukti” because of it sounds easy.

Just imagine having God as husband: be happy to see him every morning, touch his feet with great “bhakti” and do all his “seva” as he pleases. Prepare food for him, take care of his kids, do everything as an order of the god and still keep the mind detached from all the household works. Does sounds very simple isn’t it?

He would be the only man in her life, no love, no extra marital affairs, nothing. Living a life just to take care of the god, who is in the form of husband. I guess this kind of life with a real spiritual husband would lead to mukti for sure.

Today, being responsible for all the activities one does and still be detached from it sounds so tough. Office, house, all love affairs one had, all set of attractions, so many temptations in front of one, that people have forgotten some of the greatest ways of achieving mukti.

I get jealous of those gopikas’ who could just see god in front of them and love him unconditionally and be his always. This form of unconditional love gave them what they seek… calmness and peace of mind. I also feel jealous of those typical Indian wives of old ages, who would have done everything as seva to god and would have had a very selfless life.

Being selfless, being detached and having the feeling that what ever is been done from us, are as per the orders of God and we are just means to fulfill his wish, is said to be one of the greatest ways to lead a life. In today’s tensions, responsibilities and all other earthy feelings, even thinking of having such a life sounds so impossible. Sometimes, I wish I was ignorant like those gopikas’ or the typical Indian wives of early ages, where I could just do all my work and still have my feet on the ground all the time.

I cannot go back in time or cannot change the way I feel for my husband. I can’t call him god because I am knowledgeable enough to find his mistakes and fight with him. Guess I have to struggle really hard to have a personalization of god in a human form and do everything as they please. Seeing today’s Guru’s and situations of Math’s, treating them as god has also become impossible. Due to our greed, we have lost the easiest way to reach god.

I reach back to all books I could find, read them and try my best to be what I want to be. “I do not want to know how my future is going to be, because know I will build it the way I want it to be”. On this note, I say bye till my next post.

BhaShe

Risking in Rain

2010-08-20T06:43:00.000-07:00

1. Drinking water while traveling in rainy season

I left Bangalore on Saturday, 14th August 2010, to go to my native. After the ‘Nagara Panchami” festival, I have had many ‘kadubu’s, 2 -3 rounds of coffee and enormous amount of water. My aunt, from whose place I left, asked me several times, if I am going to get down in the journey to pee. I, with great amount of confidence said, no aunt, it’s just a 6 + 1 hour journey and I don’t go out. She was concerned because I was carrying my office laptop. Obvious, one has to be cautious when they are carrying such things.

When I reached kempegowda bus station, I thought of emptying by bladder once, but then, as I had to get inside the bus stop and do, as a bus was ready to leave, which will make me cover 230 km’s of my journey of 252, I canceled the plan and went and sat in the bus.

By the time I reached the next stop, I felt my tank getting filled very fast, and felt the necessity to empty it. After crossing about 100 kms, bus stops for a while for tea, lunch, whatever that is appropriate at that time. I ran out of the bus, with my laptop in to the toilet, emptied my tank and came out with ‘ah!’ on my face.
The moment I emptied my tank, I started feeling thirsty, so bought some cucumber, a bottle of maaza and some chips and went back to my seat. Cucumber was really good, had all the junk I carried and started drinking maaza.

After traveling about 100 km’s, my brain started receiving signals about the requirement to empty my tank again. I had to get down from the bus in about 35 kms, and which will leave me 22 kms away from my native. I thanked God and every other thing, that I did not get a direct bus, which would have put me in impossible situations. I was sure that I will not be able to control for 22 more kms having all sorts of ups and downs and twists and turns on the road.

I got out of the bus, but for my shock the bus stations was demolished and so was the toilet. Bus station was now moved to a college ground. I was devastated. Where am I going to go? I have to travel 22 kms, and I don’t know when the bus will come, and I have to empty my tank ASAP.

Otherwise, I was sure some public embarrassment would happen. Have you watched the SATC – The Movie? – do you remember that lady who poops in her pant in front of her friends? I was imagining myself in that situation with a difference that I would be peeing and would be facing 50+ strangers. This thought itself drove me to search for a toilet.

Went to a girl standing close by and asked her, if she knows about any place where I can go and empty. She said she does not know. As it was a college ground, I asked her if the college would have one. She said try your luck.

I walked across the field and went inside. It was a Saturday evening, and on top of that a festival day. Whom do you expect in a college? Probably no one…
For my surprise, a room was open and 2 guys were sitting taking some printouts. I went inside like a storm and the only words came out of my mouth was, ‘is there a toilet nearby?’ They looked at each others face out shock. Guess I am the only girl they have met in their life who asked this question to them on face, without any hesitation. I repeated the question and one of them showed me where it is.

Way to the heaven was shown. I left my entire luggage in that room and asked them to watch till I come back. ‘Ah!’ again. Came out with a smile of relief and thanked them. The shock on their face was still intact even when I was walking out.

Next bus, 22 kms to my home… it rained heavily on the way and I needed a very warm welcome. Hot water in the “bachhalu hande” and tasty food from mom’s hand, did give me a warm welcome.

I just decided on 2 things. 1. Will never boast that I can hold on without emptying and 2. Will never drink too much water, or have food that contains too much water content when planning to travel.

2. Traveling 12 kms on the bike, with laptop, in rain

Yeah! Did I say I took off and went home? Actually there was a promise made to my boss to take this off, that I would be available on mail if required. I carried the network card, but it did not work in my native. The only option I had was to travel to the close by taluk HQ and check if net works there. My bad luck it did not work there too. All these testing I finished on Sunday itself, so that I can make a plan for Monday. Now the last option was to use net in cyber café.

Monday evening went alone to HQ, and started working. Few calls made, mails checked, and work finished. For us, Bangaloreans, 8:00 pm is just evening, but at a village like mine, it’s night. Dad called up 10 times to check when I am leaving and how I am going to come and all that. Thankfully my cousin joined me there and parents were happy about the safe journey I am going to have.

To avoid this, I decided to start early, the next day. My cousin also wanted to join, so he suggested we would go in bike and come back. I wore my dad’s water proof jacket and pant, put my laptop in a big plastic cover and sat behind him. The moment we left, it started raining.

This journey, where the rain drops were hitting my face really hard and am having 2 mobiles, a laptop to protect from water, was one of the best travels I have had in rain. I was not able to open my eyes and my eyes were burning.

After reaching HQ, I started my work and my cousin went to finish his work. I had a call at 4:30 PM and at 4:00 PM my bladder started giving signals to empty my tank. Oh! God! Where am I going to go? I have a call and am sitting in a cyber café where no such facilities are available.

I asked the café owner, he suggested that I should reach to the hotel nearby and ask. I ran to that place, and thankfully they had a toilet. I was back to the café with all my concentration only on the call and nothing else.

In rainy season, whenever I leave home, empty the tank and then move – very strong lesson learnt. (In Bangalore you will find 100 places and ways to manage this, but in villages, unless you are ready to do the “road side thing”, one will have tough times finding toilets)

3. Climbing up a guava tree

Nothing about emptying tank here…it’s all about filling the tank.
In my doddamma’s house, they have this beautiful guava tree which produces very sweet and tasty guava fruits. Guava trees are normally very slippery and they get very risky in rainy season. This tree which was full of fruits was very tempting and I wanted to climb up.

Dad climbed first and he picked many fruits for me and he came back. I ate 2 – 3 fruits and then decided to go up on the tree, pluck some fruit and have it on top. That gives a very different feeling. Have you ever climbed up a tree? And had a fruit sitting on top of it?

It was after long time I was climbing. I was so very happy and excited. One, two, three, branches climbed and yes! If not on top of the world, at least I was on top of the tree. Had a fruit standing there looking at the lush greenery around, my cousin took some pictures of mine, standing on top, (I don’t know when I will get the chance to climb a tree again) climbed down.

My native is a small little dreamland for me, where whatever I do is accepted and enjoyed. I shouted out loud standing in the midst of paddy field, laughed out loud with my dad and mom and got drenched in rain. Had cramps all over my legs due to cold weather and enjoyed that pain.

Back to reality, sitting and thinking about the great days I had and writing about it, so that I can share it with you.
Thanks for reading.

BhaShe

Desperate

2010-08-04T01:38:00.000-07:00

You told clearly, you won’t come back
For every noise at the door, my heart beat raises
I think you have come, I expect you

You have no interest in me
Neither am in your list of priorities
I still am madly in love with you

Use me like a tissue paper at least
I will live for the rest of my life with joy
With the satisfaction of being yours for a while

Give me pain, give me a wound
Give me a reason to live this life
Without you, this life makes no sense

Now I am living, hoping you will come back
Dreaming of having a life with you
Praying to God, to see your face once more in my life.

BhaShe

Calendar Item

2010-07-30T00:32:00.000-07:00

You are a very organized man
I am an item in your calendar

You get to home every night at 11:00
Wash face at 11:10
Get changed in 10 minutes
And be back in the living room

Read news for 10 minutes
Eat food in 20 minutes
Walk around for 10 mins having a fruit
Wait for me in the bedroom at 12:00

No talk, no laugh
Kiss me at 12:02
Say good night and
Get back to your lap top at 12:05

I am an item in your calendar
Taking 5 mins of yours and few kisses
I married you and I raise your kids
And I am called your “wife”

BhaShe

Handful of Love

2010-07-26T03:13:00.001-07:00

Oh! Dear life,
All I ask from you is a handful of love

When those wind blows at its highest speed
And I tremble to face it and walk through
All I need is a handful of love
To give me strength to pass on

In the rain of pains, stones and troubles
I won’t look for shelter, nor for umbrella
All I need is a handful of love
To give me support to live till sunshine

When my loved ones eyes are wet with tears
Don’t give me money, don’t give me power
All I need is a handful of love
To be with them and to light up a smile

Money, power and every other thing
Has no value if no love in life
I won’t ask for more, just a handful of love
Always in my life, to call this living a ‘life’.

BhaShe

Detachment

2010-07-18T00:55:00.000-07:00

I have to overcome you
I have to pass through you
You are an infinite attraction
I have to detach myself from you

You are very colorful and soothing
Anyone would want to have you for them
You are very consoling and protecting
Everyone wants to be in your arms

You have the capacity to make people your slaves
They beg you, plead you, lose their mind
You have the will to make people dance to your tunes
They die wanting you, needing you, deprived of you

I know I love you, I have realized it lately
I do not want to love you, my cautious decision
I reach out to books, to people to help me pass
Help me get detached from you

You can be as mild as a lamb,
You can be as strong as a lion
It’s now my will and my decision to stay far
To get detached from all sorts of attachments towards you

BhaShe

ಗರ್ಭಪಾತ

2010-07-13T06:21:00.000-07:00

ಹೊಟ್ಟೆಯಲಿ ಹುಟ್ಟಿದ್ದ ಕನಸೊಂದು ಕಸವಾಗಿ ಕಮರಿಹೊಯ್ತು
ಅದಿತ್ತಿದ್ದ ನಿರೀಕ್ಷೆ, ಭರವಸೆಗಳೆಲ್ಲ ಬಸಿದುಹೋಯ್ತು

ಕೈಯಲ್ಲಿದ್ದ ಮದರಂಗಿಯ ಕೆಂಪು ಆರುವ ಮುನ್ನ
ಕಣ್ಣಲ್ಲಿ ಹೊಸತೊಂದು ಆಸೆ ಬೆಳೆದಿತ್ತು, ನಲಿದಿತ್ತು
ಮನದೊಡೆಯನ ಪ್ರೀತಿ ಸುರಿದಿತ್ತು ಮಳೆಯಾಗಿ
ಹರಿದಿತ್ತು ಹೊಳೆಯಾಗಿ, ತುಂಬಿಸಿ ನನ್ನೊಡಲ

ಒಂದೊಂದೇ ಆಸೆಗಳ ಎತ್ತಿಟ್ಟು ಕಾದಿದ್ದೆ
ಖುಷಿಯ ಹೊನಲು ಹರಿದಿತ್ತು ಗೀಟುಗಳೆರಡು ಮೂಡಿದಾಗ
ಸ್ವರ್ಗಕ್ಕೆ ಮೂರೇ ಗೇಣು ಇನಿಯನ ಕಿವಿಯಲಿದ ಒಸರುವಾಗ
ಸ್ವರ್ಗವೇ ಧರೆಗಿಳಿದಿತ್ತು ಅವನ ಕಣ್ಣಲಿ ಸಂತೋಷ ಉಕ್ಕಿ ಹರಿದಾಗ

ಒಂದಿಷ್ಟು ಇರಿಸು ಮುರಿಸು, ಹಿಂಜರಿಕೆ, ಗೊಂದಲ
ನಾಳೆಗಳ ಕನಸುಗಳು ಹೊಳೆಯಾಗಿ ಹರಿದಿದ್ದವು
ಮೈದುಂಬಿ, ಮನದುಂಬಿ, ಕಣ್ದುಂಬಿ ನಲಿದಿದ್ದೆ
ಸಂತೋಷವೆಂಬ ಪದಕ್ಕೂ ಅಸೂಯೆ ಬರುವಂತೆ

ವಿದಿರಚಿಸಿತ್ತು ಈ ಸಂತೋಷವ ಕೀಳುವ ಹೂಟ
ಅವಘಡಕ್ಕೆ ಸಿಕ್ಕಿ ಬಲಿಯಾಗಿತ್ತು ಕನಸುಗಳ ಮಹಲು
ಸೂತಕದ ಛಾಯೆ ಇನ್ನೂ ಇಳಿದಿಲ್ಲ ಮುಖದಿಂದ
ಭರವಸೆಗಳೇ ಬಂದೆನ್ನ ಖಾಲಿಯೆದೆಯ ತುಂಬಿ

ಭಾಶೇ

Big Banyan Tree

2010-07-09T04:58:00.000-07:00

You are a big banyan tree
Am a tiny little parrot
I don’t have my nest on you
But I regularly rest on you

I fly a lot, looking for food
Your branches are my stops
I fly high, every day
Your shadow helps me rest

The humble hug you give, when I am tired
Removes all the pain in every vain
Your smile, talk and breeze
Makes me relaxed and gives me energy

You are a big banyan tree
Don’t know if you know me or not
I am a tiny little parrot
Loving you and needing you all the time

You see may many birds like me
But for me, you always make a difference
Though I fly and see many trees
None of them are as homely as you are

You are a big banyan tree
I am a tiny little parrot
You mean a lot to me always
I will love you and need you in all the ways!

BhaShe

Soul Search

2010-07-06T06:53:00.000-07:00

When I was in my +2 classes and 1st year of graduation, this question normally used to hang around in my thoughts, ‘why am I here?’ We all take birth, study, earn and die, but what is the purpose of this whole journey? Why have we been created and what are we supposed to do?

When I got in to 2nd year or so in my graduation, I had found a goal, though temporary, to do MBA. Money, monitory benefits, having a loving partner took over the space I had for these quests.
I was lost in finding my way out, doing higher studies, and in the meanwhile found a loving partner and now, today, I am a happily married lady.

This question of setting a new goal in life kept on coming, the date I joined my job. ‘Joining a good job goal’ was ticked off that day and then I was open for another goal. Marriage became my next priority as I had already found a loving partner. After being married for an year, now am looking to set another goal.

I had been thinking of joining dance classes, or studying law, or M. A. in Kannada or Psychology and all that for a while, but that also would end up being a short term goal. What next is the biggest question I face majority of the times… so what next?

Reading books has been one of my hobbies. While doing my graduation, I have read some books about Sri. Ramakrishna Paramhamsa written by his disciples. I have always been having an attraction towards these kind of books and I have read a few. Those memories are hunting me down now and I am dragged back to those days where my only goal was to find myself. I am strongly haunted by those thoughts now and looking for a way out!

Suddenly a craving has now raised to read ‘Bhagavad Gita’. I am looking for a copy where they have given the Shloka’s and the meaning of it. Not sure where to buy and which one to buy!

Spirituality has been part of my life since childhood. Guess, by the pressure of life, or by the colors of material stuff around me, my interest or craving for spiritual fulfillment had gone covered. Now some serious thinking, which was forced on me, is leading me to think in those terms again and that need is raising again.

I also get a doubt, if am doing some escaping action by taking a refuge under those books and thoughts. Not very sure if am running away, also not very sure from what I have to run away. So hopefully it's not a escaping trick.

Hoping for a safe landing.

BhaShe

Going "On Air with Kenny Jones"

2010-06-29T22:33:00.000-07:00

Yes Pals!
I was on air with Kenny Jones on the official morning show of the planet earth on Radio Indigo 91.9.

Background:
I transport to office in BMTC every day. Between 8:30 to 11:00, any time, 45 mins to an hour am in a bus, standing, sitting, or hanging on the doors on the foot board with nothing to do. So my best companion on the go are Radio stations in Bangalore. As I am a Kannadiga, I have the liberty to switch to any radio station, but my dials normally stop at 91.9.
I like the show Kenny does. It’s fun, it’s entertaining and he plays good music to light up your day.
This morning, on 30th of June 2010, when Kenny and Sriram picked up the topic ‘will you finish your dates plate if they don’t’, I was listening in.

On Air:
I dialed in those magical numbers ‘25502919’ curious and waiting to see if I get through. This line is busy lot of times (of course! It has to be). Oh! Its ringing… will they pick up? Oh! Yes! They picked it up and I hear Kenny’s attractive voice.
Damn! I am not prepared at all… I want to say, how much I like the show, they rock, I like Sriram’s wit, Kenny’s voice… no… none of this came out. I was excited and went clueless as to what to say! Bad!

So what did I actually say? I said a little hello… and went on to my take on the topic. Yes! I do finish my dates plate, as he has a habit of wasting food which I don’t like… so on and so forth. It was a nice little chat but it did lit up my day.

After effects:
Yes! I am having a hangover of the call, having a smile on my face. Had my dear friend Sam listen to this. Hey Kenny! that’s a nice pattern, record the conversation and play it a little late. I heard it and my dear friend Sam heard it too. We spoke later and had a blast. Am still smiling writing this post.

To Kenny:
I have a take on lot of things you guys discuss! I think majority of the listeners do have. I don’t like texting so I don’t do that. I tried calling up few times but couldn't’t go through. This special day, I am happy speaking to you. I liked that burp thing you added later. I would have done that if you had asked me to do so… lol. Thanks for having me on Air.

Off Air:
Music makes my day! This day, I have a very busy schedule post lunch at the office, am not sure if the smile that Kenny lit up will remain till the end. But I am sure it’s gonna light up again as am meeting a very special person and a bunch of loved ones in the late evening.
I just came up with a thought to keep oneself happy throughout the day. “give yourself a sweet something, a good news every morning, and light up that smile, and try and hold it the whole day” how does that sound now? I owe you Kenny!

Loving the day!

BhaShe

That's where I Belong

2010-06-25T09:48:00.000-07:00

My branches are reaching the clouds
My laughter reaches miles
I have grown above my imagination
I have reached the stars and have come back

Words I speak are strong and effective
The way I speak and appear is influencing
I am been taken as a sample, role model
I set rules, I set standards

Gravitation has failed in pulling me down
Blowing wind cannot shake a hair of mine
I am resistant, I am strong, on my foot all the time
Sun, moon and the universe listens to me

I have the power, I have the last say,
I have the ability to turn things upside down
I am what I define, no boundaries
I am what I am capable of, no limitations

I am all this coz I have my roots strong
My roots go back to my parents and my native
That humble couple and the small village Gonibeedu
That’s where I belong, that’s where I come from
Only they have the power to keep me going or break me down.

BhaShe

Burnt Lips

2010-06-16T01:21:00.000-07:00

Hello All, This thought struck me when I was thinking of a scenario where if someone by mistake keeps a cig other way around while smoking, how would it be to have their lips burnt.

Wrote one paragraph and it lead me further to complete the poem. Later the same first paragraph drove me to think in another front and made me write another poem, and yet another. Having the first paragraph same, 3 poems are written now.

Please go through all of them and tell me which one you like the most. Thank you. 

Burnt Lips – 1

My lips are burnt
Soft pink lips are now turned black, rough
Did not have a clue till I felt the fire
When my lips were locked with yours

Every time you touch, I explode
Rush in blood veins, I turn red
Every time you stare, I dissolve
I dissolve in to lava from iron

This is no small game, it’s a fight
Fight between you and me
I put everything I have for the fight
Every space we find becomes our battle field

No winning or losing here
It’s a life or death combat
All feelings turned in to weapons
And we battle till we die.

Burnt Lips – 2

My lips are burnt
Soft pink lips are now turned black, rough
Did not have a clue till I felt the fire
When my lips were locked with yours

I thought that was love
I carried the burning marks with pride
I lost my laugh for weeks in pain
Burning takes a minute, healing a month

You never kissed me again
Thought you were concerned
My lips just had few scars left
I was ready to get burnt again

This time your kiss, just didn’t burn me
Your lips were filled with poison
Now on my last breath I realize
It was hate not love you had.

Burnt Lips – 3

My lips are burnt
Soft pink lips are now turned black, rough
Did not have a clue till I felt the fire
When my lips were locked with yours

I knew it is passion which became fire
I was overwhelmed for the love you have
Your eyes were closed tight
I believed you have my image behind the closed eyes

You started getting rough day by day
I like a flower, was blossomed by your love
Loved you from the bottom of my heart
Took all pain you gave with smile

You whispered ‘her’ name when lost control
Your eyes were shut the way it used to be
I now know, why so passion and pain
You always had ‘her’ behind those closed eyes

My heart is now a broken mirror
I see your and ‘her’ face in every single piece
I cry blood in pain and devastation
Those scars keep reminding me of the betrayal

BhaShe

Irresistible

2010-06-09T05:55:00.000-07:00

You knocked the door
Just at the moment I succeeded ignoring you
You were in front of me, with the same stupid smile
Favorite blue shirt and with those red rose bouquet
Wasting all my effort of knocking you off my system

You are smart, charming and lovable
I can’t stop myself from falling for you
You are charismatic and flirt
I can’t take the attraction you drive

I doubt all the promises you make
As you rarely implement any and break many
But I can’t resist agreeing to a promise when you make
You show such innocence and confidence

I hate majority of your qualities
Manipulation, flirtation and flaunting
Still I am attracted and attached
I cannot stop myself from loving you

I opened the door this time as well, as usual
You make new promises and shower new hopes
Happiness and joy of the moment is immeasurable
I cherish and get prepared for next fall out

BhaShe

Slave of Voice

2010-06-05T06:20:00.000-07:00

I am a slave of his voice
While walking on the broken dreams of mine
I forget all the pain and pricking
As I get mesmerized by his voice

I forget that my dreams were broken by his command
I forget the prison I am into
I get carried away whenever he talks
I obey everything he says even if it’s destroying me

His voice is loud, attractive and sexy
His talk sounds like orders and commands with sweeteners
When I hear him, I hear nothing else
My identity is lost when am listening to him

His voice has become the soul of my life
I crave to listen to him every single minute of my life
I am enslaved by the charm of his voice
I am tuned, ruined and made poppet by his voice

BhaShe

Loyalty

2010-05-31T06:07:00.000-07:00

Where is that line to be drawn?
Defining loyalty to your partner
Where does it go beyond harmless flirtation?
Where is that point at which thread to be cut?

Loyalty,
Is it an oath to preserve all your smiles only for your partner?
All complements only from partner to be respected and others banned?
Is it closing the human face of a human being?
Is it stopping oneself from being what they are?

Does it mean fighting with oneself when a bad dream throws up?
Tracking and taming one’s mind and every thought that gets developed?
Or is it just being what your partner wants you to be
And seeing only wrong things even when it’s just a smile?

Or,
Is it the ability to love a person with all his flaws?
Is it the capacity to share and bear someone in the rough patches of life?
Is it the freedom to share that little crush and attraction and laugh at it later?
Is it the bondage which ties one back to the partner at any situation?

I get curious, I want to know
How do you define your terms of loyalty
What importance is given and how strongly is it taken
And what happens if your lines are crossed!?

BhaShe

Joy of Life

2010-05-26T04:46:00.000-07:00

It’s a joy to watch people laugh
When happiness and cheer spills out of their eyes
They scream out loud, showing their joy
They dance to the rhythm of happiness

I feel belonged, part of celebration
Scream and laugh, react from the heart
Feel the happiness from inside, for someone else
And forget everything else in the joy

Dance to the music of your heart sometimes
Forgetting the world where you live
Forget all feelings that tie you back
Close all holes where people watch you
Open all windows of your heart

Love the life you live, live the life you love
One life is very short for lies, faking and pretending
If you are frowning today, hoping for a happy tomorrow
You are losing the present, today, the gift of god
Bring a smile on your face, thinking of tomorrow.

BhaShe

Pure Dance Pleasure - So You Think You Can Dance

2010-05-17T07:50:00.000-07:00

I have told a lot of times that like all forms of art. Dance is one in the list. I had interest in dance since I was a kid, but could not learn any forms due to lack of resourceful teachers.

I first saw this dance show in 2006. Season 2 was running at that time. I saw few additions series, and then did not continue watching it as they did many repeat telecast. Later, I think when the show was at the stage where only top 14 or 12 dancers were performing, and then I got back to watching the show again. Amazing! I was moved my all those dance styles, the ability of choreographers to tell stories in those dance routines, and those steps, moves, I became a fan of the show.

In the history of my life (I know am a little young to use these terms, still) this is the only program i have been following since 4 years, and I have never felt bored, not even in a single episode. This program gets first broadcasted in India, every Tuesday @ 9:00 pm and gets re-telecasted @ 11:00 pm or 12:00 midnight and again next Sunday at 4:00 pm. Sometimes the show is so good that I watch it all the 3 times.

Everything about this show is interesting and incredible. Stage, host, judges, format, everything is exceptional. Even someone, who does not know the alphabets of dancing, can sit and watch this show and get a feel of being well entertained all the time.

If you put 'So You Think You Can Dance' in google it throws out great amount of information. In social networking sites, many fan clubs for this show is available. Every season, new dancers, new dance styles, new choreographers, this show is entertainment at its best.

I have been thinking of writing about this great show in my blog since long time. This time, as the 100th episode of the show is getting broadcasted, I sit and write this post and thank all the creative heads who made such a great show and all creative choreographers and dancers, who have made the show as interesting as it is.

Broadcast in India is not in the format or in line with as it happens in US. We are normally one season back of the US and get to see the show like after an year's time. This has a possibility or chance of making the show a little less curious as you can get to know who is going to win. However, this has never made me lose interest in the show. This is like getting to know who will win the match but watching the match, but watching it later to enjoy it ball to ball will still be good.

I dream of going to the US, and then to Hollywood and watch this show, live, once in my life. I want to see those dance moves live through my eyes. If I ever get on to that stage, I may just die out of happiness. I have become such a fan.

Every Tuesday, I try my best to finish the work early and move home just to watch this show. A colleague of mine suggested to download the show episodes or buy them in cd's. I say, the excitement of watching it in a telecast will not be there when you have it all as a download or cd.

I wish this dance show goes on and on and I keep watching and enjoying it the way I do now.

I LOVE SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE.

Cheers!

BhaShe

ನೆನ್ನೆ ಸಂಜೆ - कल शाम

2010-04-28T06:15:00.000-07:00

ಮಬ್ಬುಗತ್ತಲು
ಬಸ್ ಸ್ಟಾಪಿನಲ್ಲಿ ಒಬ್ಬಳೇ ನಿಂತಿದ್ದೆ
ಸುರಿದ ಮಳೆಗೆ ರಸ್ತೆಯೆಲ್ಲ ಒದ್ದೆಯಾಗಿತ್ತು
ಮರದ ಎಲೆಗಳಿಂದ ಹನಿಗಳಿನ್ನೂ ಬೀಳುತ್ತಿದ್ದವು
ಕೊಚ್ಚೆ ನೀರಿಗೆ ಸಿಗದಂತೆ ನಿಂತಿದ್ದೆ ಕಾಯುತ್ತಾ ಬಸ್ಸಿಗೆ

ಲೈಟ್ ಹಾಕಿ ಕೆಲವು, ಹಾಕದೆ ಕೆಲವು ಬಸ್ಸು ಬಂದವು, ಹೋದವು
ಬೀದಿ ದೀಪದ ಬೆಳಕಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ
ಕಣ್ಣು ಕಿರಿದಾಗಿಸಿ ಬೋರ್ಡು ಓದಿ ಕೈ ಅಡ್ಡ ಹಿಡಿದಿದ್ದೆ ಎಲ್ಲವಕು
ಯಾವೂ ನಿಲ್ಲಿಸಲಿಲ್ಲ! ಎಲ್ಲವೂ ನನ್ನ ಗಮ್ಯವ ದಾಟುವವೇ
ಇದೇನಿದು ವಿಚಿತ್ರ ಇಂದು? ಯೋಚನೆಗೀಡಾಗಿದ್ದೆ

ಛತ್ರಿಯಿಲ್ಲದೆ ಮಳೆಗೆ ಸಿಗುವ ಗಾಬರಿ ಬೇರೆ ಮನದಲ್ಲಿ
ಬಸ್ಸು ಬಿಟ್ಟು ಬೇರಾವುದೇ ವಾಹನಗಳ ಸುಳಿವಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ ರಸ್ತೆಯಲಿ
ಜೋರು ಮಳೆಯ ಶನಿವಾರದ ಸಂಜೆ, ಯಾರಾದರು ರಸ್ತೆಗ್ಯಾಕೆ ಇಳಿದಾರು?
ಮತ್ತೆ ನಾಲ್ಕು ಬಸ್ಸುಗಳು ನನ್ನ ಇರುವ ಗಮನಿಸದೆ ಸಾಗಿದವು
ನಿಲ್ದಾಣದಲ್ಲಿ ಸಹಪ್ರಯಾಣಿಕರಾದರು ಬರಲಿ, ಮನದ ಬಯಕೆ

ನೆನ್ನೆವರೆಗೂ ಕಂಡಾಗೆಲ್ಲ ಕಾಡಿಸುತ್ತಿದ್ದ ಕಾಮಣ್ಣ ಹಾಜರಾಗಬೇಕೆ?
ಸಂಜೆ, ಒಂಟಿ ನಾನು, ಮಳೆ ಬಂದ ಭೂಮಿ, ಮನ ನಡುಗಿತ್ತು
ಅವನ ಸಿಳ್ಳು, ಮಾತುಗಳ ಮಳೆ ಸುರಿಯಲಿಲ್ಲ ಎಂದಿನಂತೆ, ನಾನು ದಂಗಾದೆ
ಅವನ ಕಡೆಗೆ ನಾಲ್ಕು ಬಾರಿ ನೋಡಿ ಸುಮ್ಮನಾದೆ
ಮರೆತೇ ಹೋಗಿತ್ತು, ನೆನ್ನೆ ನಾನು ಕರೆಂಟು ತಗುಲಿ ಸತ್ತುಹೋಗಿದ್ದು
ಮತ್ತೆ ಬಸ್ಸಿಗೆ ಕಾಯುವ ಹಂಗ್ಯಾಕೆಂದು ಗಾಳಿಯಲಿ ತೇಲುತ್ತಾ ಸಾಗಿದೆ.

ಭಾಶೇ

कल शाम

साँझ था,
बस स्टॉप पर अकेली खड़ी थी.
बारिश से रास्ता गीला था
पेड़ों के पत्तों से पानी की बूंदें टपक रही थी
कीचड़ से बचते में बस के इंतजार में खड़ी थी.

कुछ बसें लाइट जलाये कुछ बिन जलाये आई और चली गयी
बिजली के खम्बों पर भी लाइट नहीं थी,
धुंधले से प्रकाश में बोर्ड पढ़ हर बस को रोका था मैंने
किसी ने भी नहीं रोका, सब मेरे गम्य की तरफ ही जा रहे थे
ये क्या अजीब है आज! सोच में पड़ गई.

बिना छाता के बारिश में फंसने का डर था मन में
बस के सिवा कोई ओर वाहन नहीं था रस्ते में
जोर बारिश की शनिवार की शाम थी रस्ते में क्यों कोई आता
फिर से चार बस मुझे बिन देखे चले गई
स्टॉप पर कोई सह यात्री तो आ जाये... मन की आशा

हमेशा छेड़ने वाले सड़क छाप हाजिर हो गया
शाम, अकेली मैं, भीगा हुई रस्ता, मन डर गया
उसकी सीटी, बातों की बारिश शुरू नहीं हुई मैं चौंक गयी!
चार बार उसकी तरफ देख कर चुप हो गयी
भूल ही गयी थी, कल मैं बिजली छू के मर गयी थी

भाशे

Castle

2010-04-27T03:51:00.000-07:00

I put my heart and soul in building the sand castle
One strong wave washes it all away
I try and retain some sculptures
Till my energy dies, then I walk back home

Ruined castle haunts me in my dreams
The stories I built around the castle
About the king, about the queen
About their love, war and untold mysteries

I become a part of the castle play,
I play all parts, I am the king, and I am the servant
In the nights, the waves provide the music
Stars my audience and rocks my stage

Sun and moon started talking about the play
Castle now builds on its own
This time it is strong to withstand tsunami
It’s wide enough to accommodate the sky

The waves once ruined my castle, now wash my feet gently
The castle once haunted me, now brings colors to my dreams
With respect, pleasure and pride I stand on the rocks
Watching my castle grow, stand and smile.

BhaShe

Addiction

2010-04-14T06:47:00.000-07:00

Every time I cut that thread which binds us
You stretch your arms in my dreams
I come to you, wanting you, loving you

I fight with myself to pull myself out
Out of attachments towards you
I fall deep, I feel more belonged

I am destroyed, ruined, helpless
Lost control and desperate
Your arms have brought me here

I tear off everything and scream loud
I pull myself to get out of your control
You tighten your arms and I fail

I want you is no more, I am addicted to you
You are a poison, I know, still I can’t stop myself
I know you won’t let me go till I turn into ashes.

BhaShe

Letter to a Known Stranger

2010-04-08T01:25:00.000-07:00

Dear Stranger,

I am not sure what you will feel after reading this, but what to do? I was not able to resist myself from writing this. I wanted to know from you if I over did something that has stopped you from being what you are?

You are different and I felt it the first day we met. In that filled compartment where I was all surrounded by my family members, relatives and friends, but I was feeling so lonely. None of them found that out. Your eyes caught it the first time you saw me. Even after having so many my people around me my mouth was shut. We just saw each other and I turned my face. Am sure you were looking at me for some time at-least. That’s the reason you still remember me and smiled at me this time.

I liked you in the first look but I was so depressed that day that I never said anything. We continued the journey, you got down first and I missed you till I reached my destination.

Life went on. I never thought I would ever meet you again. I always wanted to meet you and was not sure as I never took any contact details. I dreamt of you meeting me again and making me smile. I felt that you may be able to give me such comfort.

4 years passed and there I was, post graduate, with a job in hand and enough energy and smile to light up the whole world. Life changed me from an introvert to an extrovert. I somehow always attributed that quality of mine to you and gave you the credit for whatever I became. I know you would think that this is so irrelevant and mindless but I felt happy giving you the credit. I felt satisfied doing so.

This time when I met you, though you recognized and smiled at me the feeling of surprise was clearly visible on your face. I think even you never thought that you would meet me again and not for sure with such bright colours. I was all happy and waved my hand when I saw you. I should thank that train.

We spoke this time and we spoke a lot. I told you everything that was there in my heart. I think the saying that only in front of strangers you can empty yourself is so true. I spoke everything and you were all ears to listen. Though the journey was very short it was very sweet and memorable.

This time we exchanged contact details and promised each other that we would write or text. I was happy and thrilled to meet you again. We departed on the railway station taking two different directions.

I was not able to call you or write you for 5 – 6 days as I got lost in some personal work. However influenced by your charming personality I wrote poems on you and was eager to show them to you. I was influenced by you. Here is the poem I wrote for you:

You are always noticed... you are not like them
They are always lost in doing their profit and loss accounts
And you counted smiles and cared for tears

You are always admired... you deserve it
You keep the human being inside you always alive
They live with dead faces

You care and you show you care
You identify people by what they are and not by what you want to see in them
It fills up the identity need

Truthfulness spills out of your eyes
Concern out of every word you speak
People keep their heart open and share secrets with you

You know when to be ears, when to be silent
You know when to crack that joke and pull a leg
You are new age Krishna spreading joy all around

I wish to fine more people like you... more human beings
Who make this world a better place to live
Who donate smile and wipe others tears

Hope you remember reading this poem on the first mail I sent.
I was so excited to have a means to reach you whenever I was down or breaking or feeling low. I felt that you are going to be my source of inspiration always. I showed all my excitement and happiness when I wrote you the first time.

Was that a little too much of happiness and belongingness shown on a stranger? Did I over do it?

You never replied to that mail of mine. Whenever I tried your number it said out of coverage area. I thought that you might be traveling and because of which you were not reachable. So many days passed, now my hope started dying. I thought I had found a treasure, a true great friend, an always trustworthy person but I now I feel I have gone terribly wrong.

You never replied to any of those mails of mine, nor picked my calls or replied to my messages. My dream of having you as a great friend of mine is not shattered. I clearly understand you are avoiding me.

Here, by putting all these words in this letter all I want to tell you is that, I did not expect anything from you other than care and concern. I don’t have any feelings other than being a friend of yours. You have shown disrespect to such pure feelings of mine but I forgive you. I still attribute my success to you and hope to hear from you soon.

I thank you for whatever you were to me and hope to see you again. I hope this letter of mine reaches you.

Anonymous

ಹೂವ ಹಿಡಿವ ಆಟ

2010-04-01T03:19:00.000-07:00

ಬೇಸಿಗೆಯ ಬಿಸಿಲು ಮರಗಳಿಗೆ ಬಣ್ಣ ಬಳಿದಿತ್ತು
ಮರವು ಹೂವಾಗಿತ್ತು ಮರವು ಹಾಡಾಗಿತ್ತು
ನೆನ್ನೆ ಹೂವಾದ ಹೂವುಗಳು ಇಂದು ಭೂಮಿಗೆ ಮುತ್ತಿಕ್ಕಲು
ಗಾಳಿಯಲಿ ತೇಲುತ್ತ ಭೂಮಿಗಿಳಿದಿದ್ದವು ಮಣ್ಣಾಗಿದ್ದವು
ಹಾಗೆ ಹಾರಿದ ಹತ್ತು ಹಲವು ಹೂಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ಕೆಲವು ಮಾತ್ರ
ಆ ಹೂವಿನ ಲಂಗದ ಹುಡುಗಿಯ ಕೈಯೊಳಗಿದ್ದವು

ನೆನ್ನೆ ನಾಳೆಗಳ ಚಿಂತೆಯಿಲ್ಲದ ಆ ಪುಟ್ಟ ಹುಡುಗಿ
ಬೆಳ್ಳಂಬೆಳಗೇ ಹೊಸದೊಂದು ಆಟ ಹುಡುಕಿತ್ತು
ಮರದಿಂದ ಭೂಮಿಗುದುರುವ ಹೂಗಳ ಹಿಡಿವ ಆಟ
ತನ್ನ ಪುಟ್ಟ ಬೊಗಸೆಯೊಡ್ಡಿ ಗಾಳಿಯಂತೆ ಸುಳಿದು
ತೇಲಿ ಬರುತ್ತಿದ್ದ ಒಂದೊಂದೇ ಹೂಗಳ ಹಿಡಿಯುತ್ತಿತ್ತು
ಬೊಗಸೆ ತುಂಬಿದಂತೆ ಕಟ್ಟೆಗೋಡಿ ಗುಡ್ಡೆ ಹಾಕುತಿತ್ತು

ಹಾರಿ ಬಂದು ಕಣ್ಣ ತುಂಬುವ ಧೂಳಿಗೆ ಸ್ವಲ್ಪವು ಅಳುಕದೆ
ಕಾಲಿಗೊತ್ತುವ ಕಲ್ಲುಗಳ ನೋವನು ಅನುಭವಿಸದೆ
ಮರದ ಸುತ್ತಾ ಸುಳಿಯುತ್ತಿತ್ತು ಒಂದು ಮಿಂಚಂತೆ
ಅದು ಹೂಗಳ ಅದೃಷ್ಟವೇ ಮೆತ್ತಗಿನ ಕೈ ಸೇರುವುದು?
ಆ ಹುಡುಗಿಯ ಮುಖದ ಮೇಲೆ ನಲಿಯುತಿದ್ದ ನಗು
ಯಾವ ಹೂವ ನಗುವಿಗೂ ಕಮ್ಮಿಯಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ

ಮೇಲೇರಿದ ಎತ್ತರದಿಂದ ಕಷ್ಟಕ್ಕೊಳಗಾಗಿ ಬೀಳುವಾಗ
ಹೀಗೆ ಅಮೃತ ಸ್ತ್ರೀಯರು ನಮ್ಮ ಹಿಡಿಯುತ್ತಾರೆ
ಅವರೊಂದು ನಗುವಿಂದ ನಮ್ಮ ನೋವ ಮರೆಸುತ್ತಾರೆ
ನಮಗೆ ಜೀವದಾನವನೀಯುತ್ತಾರೆ ಹರಸುತ್ತಾರೆ
ಈ ಹೂವ ಬಾಲಿಕೆಗೆ ನನ್ನದೊಂದು ನಮನ ಧನ್ಯವಾದ
ನನಗೆ ಗುರುವಾದದಕ್ಕೆ ಈ ಕವನದ ಸ್ಪೂರ್ತಿಯಾದದ್ದಕ್ಕೆ

ಭಾಶೇ

ಅಪ್ಪ

2010-03-16T10:43:00.000-07:00

ಅಪ್ಪಾ
ಇವತ್ತು ನಿನ್ನ ನೋಡ್ತೀನಿ ಅನ್ನೋ ಖುಷಿಗಿಂತ
ಇಷ್ಟು ದಿನ ನಿನ್ನ ನೋಡಿಲ್ಲ ಅನ್ನೋ ಬೇಜಾರು ಜಾಸ್ತಿ ಇದೆ

ಬೆಳಗ್ಗೆ ನಿಮ್ಮ ಜೊತೆ ಮಾತಾಡಿದ ಮೇಲೆ ಕಣ್ಣೆಲ್ಲಾ ಕಣ್ಣೀರೇ
ಅಷ್ಟು ಪ್ರೀತಿಸೋ ನಿಮ್ಮ ಜೊತೆ ದಿನಾ ಇರಕ್ಕಾಗಲ್ಲ
ನಿಮ್ಮ ತಿಂಗಳುಗಟ್ಟಲೆ ನೋಡಕ್ಕಾಗಲ್ಲ, ತಬ್ಬಕ್ಕಾಗಲ್ಲ
ದಿನ ಕಳೆದ ಹಾಗೆ ನಿಮ್ಮ ಬಿಟ್ಟಿರೋದು ಕಷ್ಟ ಆಗ್ತಾ ಇದೆ

ಅಪ್ಪಾ ನಿಮ್ಮ ಪ್ರೀತಿಸ್ತೀನಿ ಅಂತ ಸಾವಿರ ಸಲ ಕೂಗಿದರು
ನಿಮಗೆ ಫೋನ್ ಮಾಡಿದ್ರು, ನಿಮ್ಮ ಫೋಟೋ ನೋಡಿದರು
ನಿಮ್ಮ ನೆನೆಸಿ ದಿನ ಇಡಿ ಅಳುತ್ತ ಕೂತಿದ್ರು
ಸಮಾಧಾನ ಆಗಲ್ಲ ಗಿಲ್ಟ್ ಹೋಗಲ್ಲ

ನಿಮ್ಮ ಅಪ್ಕೊಂಡು ಕೈ ಹಿಡಿದು ನಡೆದ ರಾತ್ರಿಗಳು ನೆನಪಾಗುತ್ತವೆ
ನಿಮ್ಮ ಜೊತೆ ಬೈಕ್ ನಲ್ಲಿ ಸುತ್ತಿದ್ದು ನೆನಪಾಗುತ್ತೆ
ನಿಮ್ಮ ಬಿಟ್ಟು ಇಷ್ಟು ದೂರ ಇರೋದು ಕಷ್ಟ ಆಗ್ತಿದೆ
ನಾನು ಬೆಳೆದಿಲ್ಲ ಪಪ್ಪಾ, ನಾನು ದೊಡ್ಡವಳಾಗಿಲ್ಲ

ಸ್ಕೂಲ್ ಗೆ ಹೋಗೋವಾಗ ಮೀನಂಗಡಿ ಹತ್ರ ನನ್ನ ಸೈಕಲ್ ಮೇಲೆ ಕೂರಿಸಿ
ನೀವು ತಳ್ಳೋವಾಗ ನಿಮ್ಮ ಕಾಲು ಹಿಂದೆ ಹೋಗೋ ಹಾಗೆ ತೋರೋ ನೆರಳು
ವಾಪಾಸ್ ಬರೋವಾಗ ಇಳಿಜಾರಿನಲ್ಲಿ ಬಸ್ಸು ಲಾರಿಗೆ ನಾನು ಹೆದರಿ
ಅಪ್ಪಾ ಎಂದಾಗ ನಿಮ್ಮ ನಗು ಭರವಸೆ
ಗದ್ದೇಲಿ ಹೊಳೇಲಿ ಹೋಗೋವಾಗ ನೀವು ನನ್ನ ಪ್ಯಾಂಟು ಮಡಿಸಿದ್ದು
ನನಗಾಗಿ ನಿಮ್ಮ ಸೈಕಲ್ ನಲ್ಲಿ ಹಾಕಿಸಿದ ಬೇಬಿ ಸೀಟು
ಅಪ್ಪಾ... ನನಗೆ ಈ ದೊಡ್ಡೋಳು ಆಗೋದು ಬೇಕಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ, ನಾನು ಬೆಳೆದಿಲ್ಲ

ನಿಮ್ಮ ಜೊತೆಗಿದ್ದ ಅಷ್ಟು ವರ್ಷ ಅರ್ಥವಾಗದ ಪ್ರೀತಿ
ಈಗ ಹಗಲು ರಾತ್ರಿ ಕಾಡತ್ತೆ ಬಿಟ್ಟಿರುವ ನೋವು ಭೀತಿ
ಇಷ್ಟು ದಿನ ನನ್ನ ಗಂಡನ ಮಾತ ನಂಬಿದ್ದೆ
ಅವನೇ ನನ್ನ ಅತಿ ಹೆಚ್ಚು ಪ್ರೀತಿಸೋದು
ಇನ್ನು ಗೊತ್ತಿದೆ ಅವನದು ಎರಡನೇ ಸ್ಥಾನ
ನನಗೆ ಗೊತ್ತು ಅವನಿಗಿಂತ ಹೆಚ್ಚು ಪ್ರೀತಿ ನಿಮಗಿದೆ ನನ್ನಮೇಲೆ

Missed Call

2010-03-16T10:15:00.000-07:00

You are just a phone call away
but never picked those calls when I wanted
I sit quiet in your missed calls list and message in-box
you call me back when am caught in wrong arms
I don't have face to explain

I keep on coming back
you keep on moving far
now you are miles away, always

I wait for you, coz I love you
you are alone, coz you hate me
I beg you now, please turn back
lets start our lives on a new track
I wait for you...
I wait for the new sunshine in my life!

BhaShe

Adult Play Area

2010-03-09T04:22:00.000-08:00

Last Saturday me and my friend Sam met and were hanging out. I had loads of things to tell and Sam was all ears. We met near the St. Marks road bus stop in the evening and as we had to leave early, we thought of spending time walking around the place having all possible junk available around.

We started with a pista badam kulfi and about my new look. After that we moved to have something spicy as kulfi was too much sweet and wanted to change the taste of our tongue. Moved to a “Matka Pani poori” vendor close by. We spoke about my spicy poems having the spicy paani poori.

On our way back to the bus stop we saw a very small park. At first it seemed that its not open, but when we went close, we found that it was open. We saw that only an elderly lady was inside, but found out later that a kid was playing inside.

As we stepped inside the park first thing we noticed is 2 swings hanging empty. I screamed out of joy and told Sam, “hey, lets sit on that and talk”. Sam warned me telling that some one will ask us to get up as its for kids, but agreed to sit.

We moved from my poems to some other very interesting topic (sorry! cannot be disclosed) and our chat got spicier. I went on and on with the stuff and Sam had a bright and naughty smile listening to my analysis.

Meanwhile 2 guards came and asked us to get up and sit somewhere else vacating the swing. In few minutes they asked us to vacate as they were about to close the park..
On our way back I saw the board near swing saying “play area for kids below 12 years only”.

We had plenty of other things to talk, we went on and on, having some fresh fruit juice. After good number of reminder calls from our care takers we waved goodbye to each other after this looooong meet. On my way back home, while I was recalling the chat and laughing at myself, that board popped up in my thoughts. Why play area only for kids below 12 years and not for adults?

Are the adults supposed to kill the kids inside them after 12? Even now I go mad on those swings and see-saw when ever I see it. I keep watching those kids who play, wishing I could do it. I will have it in the back of my mind that if I go and play some or the other will come and will ask me to leave the place. So why half satisfy myself? I go fully disappointed.

I would wish, recommend, pray and love to have adult play area. Age no bar, weight no bar. All those fun games that kids play, we should be able to play. See-saw's should not break if 2 people weighing 125 kg sit on them. I would always want to keep that kid inside me alive by doing all these kiddish things.

We stop being naughty and stop being kids after crossing certain age. Though it is very individual, mostly it happens. Responsibilities take over our minds that we get stuck in those things and stop being happy for small things. If I sit on a swing and keep swinging for a long time, that would keep the smile on my intact for at least 2 days. So why should I be deprived of such happiness?

Dig inside, get our naughty quotient high and start being a kid some time of your day. You will laugh more, live more will for sure get more out of life.

I MAKE THIS REQUEST FOR ADULT PLAY AREA – AGE NO BAR, WEIGHT NO BAR! AND U?

BhaShe

ಮೂರು ದಿನ

2010-03-06T04:01:00.000-08:00

ತಿಂಗಳಿಗೆ ಒಮ್ಮೆಯೇ ನಾನು ಹೆಣ್ಣು ಎಂದು ನೆನಪಾಗುವುದು

ಆ ಫೂಟ್ ಬೋರ್ಡ್ ಪ್ರಯಾಣಗಳು
ಸಂಜೆ ಏಳರ ಮೇಲೆ ಕೆಲಸ ಓಡಾಟ
ಜೀನ್ಸು, ಟೀ-ಶರ್ಟು, ಜುಟ್ಟಿಲ್ಲದ ತಲೆ
ಸೆಡವು ಧೈರ್ಯ ದರ್ಪ
ಇದೆಲ್ಲದನು ಮೀರಿದ ಆ ಮೂರು ದಿನಗಳು
ನಾನು ಹೆಣ್ಣು ಎಂಬುದ ನೆನಪಿಸುತ್ತವೆ

ಒಂದಷ್ಟು ಕೋಪ ಮತ್ತೊಂದಷ್ಟು ಸಮಾಧಾನ
ಕಾಡುವ ಹೊಟ್ಟೆ ನೋವು ಸೊಂಟ ಬೇನೆ ಸುಸ್ತು
ಮುಳುಗೆದ್ದಾಗ ಮೈಗಂಟಿದ ನೀರ ಹನಿಗಳಂತೆ
ಜಾರಿದರು ಒಣಗಿದರು ಅನುಭವ ಹಸಿ ಹಸಿ ಖುಷಿ
ಆ ಮೂರು ದಿನಗಳು ಎಲ್ಲ ಮರೆತು ಬರೀ ಹೆಣ್ಣಾಗುವ ದಿನಗಳು

ನಿಂತ ಒಡನೆಯೇ ಶುರು ಹಿಂದೆ ನಿಲ್ಲಿಸಿದ ಓಟ
ಮರೆತು ಎಲ್ಲವುದನ, ಹೆಣ್ಣೆoಬುದನ ಕೂಡ
ಒಂದು ತಿಂಗಳು ಕಾಯಬೇಕು ಮತ್ತದು ನೆನಪಾಗಲು.

ಭಾಶೇ

ಹಕ್ಕಿಯ ಮರಣ

2010-02-19T09:06:00.000-08:00

ಹಕ್ಕಿಯೊಂದು ಆಗಸದಿಂದ ಬಿದ್ದು ಸತ್ತು ಹೋಯಿತು
ಅದು ಕೊಲೆಯೋ? ಆತ್ಮಹತ್ಯೆಯೋ?
ಭಯದ ನೆರಳು ಉಳಿದೆಲ್ಲ ಹಕ್ಕಿಗಳ ಕವಿದಿತ್ತು

ಅದನ್ಯಾರು ಅದನ್ಯಾಕೆ ಕೊಲ್ಲುವವರು?
ಪಂಜು, ಬಾಣ, ಗುಂಡುಗಳ ಗುರುತಿಲ್ಲ ಅದು ಶಿಕಾರಿಯಲ್ಲ
ವಿಮಾನ ತಾಗುವಷ್ಟು ಎತ್ತರದಿ ಅದು ಹಾರುವುದಿಲ್ಲ
ಅದರ ಕೊಲೆ ನಿಜಕ್ಕೂ ಆಯಿತಾ? ಕೌತುಕ

ಅದು ಆತ್ಮ ಹತ್ಯೆಯಾ? ಅದೇಕೆ ಸಾಯಬಯಸುವುದು?
ಅದಕ್ಕೊಂದು ಗೂಡಿತ್ತು, ಬಾಳ ಸಂಗಾತಿಯಿತ್ತು
ಹತ್ತು ಮಕ್ಕಳು ಹುಟ್ಟಿ ಹಾರಿ ಹೋಗಿದ್ದವು
ಹೊಟ್ಟೆಯ ಬಯಕೆಗಳ ತೀರಿಸಲು ಬರವಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ
ಮೈಯಲ್ಲಿ ಕಸುವಿತ್ತು, ಪರಿಸರ ಸೊಂಪಾಗಿತ್ತು
ಅದು ಆತ್ಮಹತ್ಯೆಯು ಅಲ್ಲವೆನಿಸಿತ್ತು

ಮರಣೋತ್ತರ ಪರೀಕ್ಷೆಯ ಫಲಿತಾಂಶ ಹಕ್ಕಿಗಳ ಭಯವನ್ನು ಇನ್ನಷ್ಟು ಹೆಚ್ಚಿಸಿತು
ಅದು ಕೊಲೆಯು ಅಲ್ಲ ಆತ್ಮಹತ್ಯೆಯು ಅಲ್ಲ
ಅದು ಮರಣ, ಸಹಜ ಮರಣ, ಕೇವಲ ಹಟಾತ್ ಮರಣ
ಬದುಕಿ ಬಾಳಬಹುದಾದ ಯಾರನ್ನೂ ಹೊತ್ತೊಯ್ಯ ಬಹುದಾದ ಸಾವು
ನಾಳೆಗಳಿಗಿದ್ದ ಆಯಸ್ಸನ್ನು ಇಂದೇ ಮುಗಿಸುವ ನೋವು

ಆ ಹಕ್ಕಿಯ ಸಾವು ಬರಿ ಸಾವಷ್ಟೇ ಆಗಿತ್ತು
ಆ ಸಾವಿಗೆ ಕಾರಣವಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ, ಸೃಷ್ಟಿಕರ್ತನಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ
ಸಾವು ಸುಮ್ಮನೆ ಬಂದು ಆ ಜೀವವ ಹೊತ್ತೊಯ್ಯಿತು

ಹಾರಾಡುವ ಹಕ್ಕಿಗಳ ರೆಕ್ಕೆ ಕಡಿದು ತುಂಡರಿಸಿದಂತೆ ಅನಿಸಿತ್ತು
ಯಾರು ಹೇಳುವವರು ಇದು ಅನ್ಯಾಯದ ಸಾವು
ಆದರೆ ಸಾವಿಗೂ ಸತ್ತ ಹಕ್ಕಿಗೂ ಅದ್ಯಾವುದೂ ತಿಳಿದಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ

ಯಾರು ಸತ್ತರೇನು, ಹಾರಾಡುವುದ ಬಿಡಲಾರವು ಹಕ್ಕಿಗಳು
ಯಾರು ಅತ್ತರೇನು, ಪ್ರಾಣ ಹರಣವ ಬಿಡಲಾರದು ಸಾವು

ಆಗಸದಿಂದ ಸುಮ್ಮನೆ ಹಾಗೇ ಉದುರತೊಡಗಿದವು ಹಕ್ಕಿಗಳು
ಭುವಿಗೆ ಬಿದ್ದ ಹಕ್ಕಿ ದೇಹದಿಂದ ಹಾರಿದವು ಪ್ರಾಣಗಳು
ಒಂದು ಕಾಲವೇ ಮುಗಿಯುವಂತೆ, ಒಂದು ಜೈವಿಕ ವಿನಾಶದಂತೆ
ಬರಡಾದವು ಆಕಾಶ, ಮರಗಳು, ಹಕ್ಕಿ ಗೂಡುಗಳು
ಮತ್ತು ಅವೆಲ್ಲವುಗಳ ಸೃಷ್ಟಿ ಕರ್ತ ಕೂಡ
ಏನೆಲ್ಲ ನಿಂತುಹೋಯಿತು ಎಂಬುದರ ಅರಿವು ಯಾರಿಗೂ ಇಲ್ಲ
ಏಕೆಂದರೆ ಎಲ್ಲರೂ ಎಲ್ಲವೂ ನಿಂತು ಹೋಗಿತ್ತು
ಮತ್ತು ಅಲ್ಲಿಗೆ ಅದೊಂದು ಮುಕ್ತಾಯದ, ಪೂರ್ಣ ವಿರಾಮದ
ಅಂತ್ಯದ ಮತ್ತು ಹೊಸ ಆರಂಭದ ಗುರುತಾಗಿತ್ತು

ಭಾಶೇ

Save that Mother

2010-02-04T00:05:00.000-08:00

My mom called up a while ago. I have been staying away from her since 9 – 10 years. So you may think I have gotten used to stay away from her. However, when she calls up just to talk to me, just to hear my voice without any control tears roll out. I say and I show that I am strong and not sentimental and all that, but deep inside my heart, am still that 8 year old girl, sitting in the corner of the first bench in 3rd standard, and crying, as my mom leaves the school after dropping me there. I have passed many years, celebrated many birthdays, married, handle a house on my own, and is a responsible wife and employee, but, I still am a small child crying for mom.

I saw the save tiger campaign. After growing so old, I still cry for my mom, then what would be the case of that 3 month old cub, which is entirely dependent on its mom for food and milk, and never gets to see its mom because of the greed of human being.

There is a saying in kannada, “the one who went to fill up a ship, finished his work and came back but the one who went to fill up his stomach never came back as the work never got over”. Are we soo hungry and greedy that we ate more than 38,000 tigers in few years? When ever a human being gets killed, we make court cases, fight for justice and do all drama, but we have killed soo many wild animals ruthlessly just because there is no court case? When a celebrity or a politician dies, we say its an loss to the country, but when the national animal is getting disappeared from the planet, are we not realizing the loss?

I used to get this dream often when I was a kid, that a bunch of these wild animals have came out of forest to my village and out of fear all the females and kids in the village are locked inside the houses and the male population is on mission to chase all these animals away from the village. Recently I also heard from my dad that a cheeta had come to a neighboring village and took a cow. I feel I have to tell all these as only stories to my kids and grand kids looking at the speed in which these animals are vanishing.

I don't know what I can do to save a tiger, I want to know and I want to do whatever possible from my hand to save it. We are a small creation of god with a big gift of thinking capacity. Lets use it to protect other creations of god and not destroy them.

I am moved by the save tiger campaign and shocked to know that there are only a 1000 left in India. If we do not act now, we will not have a chance to act later. Please lets all stretch our hands and do our bit to save the Tiger.

BhaShe

Chapathi Blunder

2010-01-29T03:57:00.000-08:00

On 27th Jan 10, I reached home from office at around 9:30 PM. There was nothing available in the kitchen to eat, so as usual me n my hubby though of preparing something easily made. He was in no mood to eat rice, so the next best option available was chapathi.

He went out to get some additional decorative vegetables and leaves for the curry to be prepared.

I went inside the kitchen and for my surprise, the wheat atta box, which was expected to be full had very limited atta. I poured in the atta and felt that it may not be sufficient. So I opened a new bag of atta and poured it.

As the normal process goes, I added salt, oil and water and started mixing the atta. One unusual thing I noticed was that the atta mix was not of wheat color which it is supposed to be, but it had turned a little more white than it is supposed to be.

First I thought that instead of adding wheat atta, I have added rice flour from the new bag I opened. I tasted the atta and it tasted fine also it was getting mixed with the usual stickiness it should have. Fine then... I continued.

Mom called up in the meanwhile. So started speaking with her and told her about my doubt on the color of the mixed atta. Meanwhile my husband arrived and heard me telling this doubt to mom. He too surprised by the color of the atta asked me from which “dabba” I have taken the atta from.
I showed the box and it is the box contained rice flour.

We had the rice+wheat flour chapathi. It was eatable. I have 3 more of those chapathis still in the kitchen. You wanna come and taste?

BhaShe

Crush

2010-01-22T04:08:00.000-08:00

He is my new addiction
My eyes keep looking for him
Smile just pass my face when I see him
I just go dumb for a second in front of him

He keeps running around in my thought process
I look for ways to start a talk
I know he is sweet, I know he is smart
I guess this is just a harmless, pass by, crush

I know he will never know or notice this
I guess he may just make fun of this feeling
Yeah! its worth being a joke after a while
I know I will move on without any pain

I get attacked by these crushes some times
They just make me happy, smile a little more
They fade away and I laugh at myself
My box of such unshared memories tickle me after long

BhaShe

Haunted

2010-01-12T22:01:00.000-08:00

I am haunted
Your memory drives me crazy
I hear your voice always in my ears
Your shadow follows me even in my dreams

I fail to recognize any face coz I see only you
I always smell your perfume
My hand is always warm as it was when you held them
I don't hear anything other than your name

Your dreamy eyes, your sexy voice
Your naughty smile and thoughts
Loving has become an addiction
Your absence haunts me always

BhaShe

Soul mate not Co-producer

2009-12-18T01:06:00.000-08:00

This hunt is for a soul partner and not a co-producer

I like to spend my life with the one whom I love
I am not a man, I am not a woman,
I am a soul trapped inside a body

I like to live with the one whom I love
who cares for me, who's presence is irreplaceable
who wants to be with me as my companion
who is a my kind of person, a human being

I am not a king or a queen
I don't need a heir, I don't have a throne
it is my life, my small simple life
I want to live it my way, only my way

I think beyond the bodies we are attached, for my love
it is compatibility and attachment that matters
my love is beyond and above all social boundaries
I love my life and wants it to be fulfilling

you clean your eyes, I have the purest love
you clean your ears, I have the sweetest words,
you clean your heart, I have the best companion
you and me, we, lets look at this world differently.

BhaShe

Complexities

2009-12-15T20:53:00.000-08:00

I simply watch my fellow mates out race me
I feel a need for search... have I lost any thing?
By my intention or not
Now am part of this rat race...!!!

Do I really wanted to be this?
If I follow a great human being in every step
I will just be a bad remake, and not ME!
So where was I? And where is it going?

I still await for some magic,
I still believe in dreams coming true,
now! Alas! My dream box is empty and white
What's waiting for me in the doorstep?

Its hard to understand the amount of let go's
when you are making your self in to “your self”
so many colors around, so many sounds heard
am still a child in this world with barely open eyes

I am standing in a place where
every one else is moving a fast forward motion
thinking whether to be a part of them or not
thinking how not to be part of them and be it always!

BhaShe

My Drama Days!!!

2009-12-06T09:28:00.001-08:00

Am going to talk about my theatre and drama days. It’s a colorful feather on my hat.

I was in 6th standard when I did my first drama in school. That was the story of Ekalavya, where I played the role of Ekalavya. I was thrilled as my teachers preferred me over other students in my class and in 7th standard. I was the only one from 6th in the team, rest all were from 7th. I think that was the time I got attracted towards acting.

Then on, though I did not performed in any more dramas (coz none of my teachers were interested in making one) I always wanted to act.

I grew up hearing the stories about my Ajja (mom's dad) doing dramas. I always thought when I grow up and move to bigger cities, I will also be part of theatre.
I grew up, moved to a bigger city, but had no choice to expand my horizon, as I was staying in a jail like hostel. However, when you have the fire inside, it’s hard to hide it.

I was in second year of my graduation when my Kannada sir Mr. Mallesh Gowda decided to make a play for the college day celebrations. Me, and some of his students got selected for the play.

The drama was created based on a story we had about two Rushi's finding out the pain of a poor farmer. He created the script. We all read it good number of times and got ready to put the expressions on.

Practice went on really well and the performance too. So there I was with a new recognition in college.

I had more fun when we played the drama I wrote, for our third year inauguration. That was a comedy flick where an arrogant daughter (I played that role), humble father and sister are hosting a polite guy, his dominating mother and deaf father who have come for bride interview. I had a wardrobe makeover, image makeover after this play. It was a huge success and an unforgettable moment in my life.

For my final year college day celebration, I was part of another drama where I played the role of Yamaraj. It is the only element I remember about that drama.

I moved to a much bigger city, Bangalore. Within 4 months of entering this city, I was part of a theatre group called 'The First Act'. My dreams were true and I was up in the sky when I joined the group.

We organized a theatre festival which was a huge success. Our group also had a play but as I had exams I was not part of the play. I worked for the marketing team and it was fun too.

It’s been more than 2 years that I did all this. Those golden days are safe in my memory and now in my blog too. Another all time attraction in my life - theatre.

Bhashe

ಹೀಗೊಂದು ಬದುಕು

2009-11-12T21:30:00.001-08:00

ನಾನು ಬದುಕುತ್ತಿದ್ದೀನಿ ಯಾವುದೊ ಕಥೆಯನ್ನ
ನನ್ನ ನೆನ್ನೆಗಳನ್ನ ನನ್ನ ನಾಳೆಗಳನ್ನ

ಅಮ್ಮ ಹೇಳುತ್ತಿರುತ್ತಾಳೆ, ಹಾಗೆ ನನಗೂ ನೆನಪಿದೆ
ತಟ್ಟೆ ತುಂಬಾ ತುಂಬಿಟ್ಟ ಅಕ್ಕಿ, ರಾಗಿ ಕಾಳಿನಲ್ಲಿ
ಒಂದು ಕಾಳೂ ಹೊರಚೆಲ್ಲದೆ, ಹರವುತ್ತಾ, ಗುಡ್ಡೆ ಮಾಡುತ್ತಾ
ಕೈಯ ಬಳೆಯ ಅದರಲ್ಲಿ ಹುದುಗಿಸಿ, ಮುಚ್ಚಿ, ತೆಗೆದು ಆಡುತ್ತಿದ್ದುದು
ಬೇಸರವೇ ಆಗುತ್ತಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ, ಯಾವಾಗಲು

ಇಂದು, ಒಮ್ಮೊಮ್ಮೆ ನನ್ನೊಳಗೆ ಮಲಗಿರುವ ಮರಿ ಸೌಮ್ಯಳನ್ನು ಎಬ್ಬಿಸುತ್ತೇನೆ
ನನ್ನೊಳಗೆ ನೆನ್ನೆಯ ಜೀವನ ತುಂಬಲು ಪ್ರಯತ್ನಿಸುತ್ತೇನೆ
ನಾಳೆಗಳ ಯೋಚನೆಗಳ, ಭಯಗಳ ಭಾರಕ್ಕೆ
ಎದೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಎದ್ದು ಕುಳಿತ ಮರಿ ಸೌಮ್ಯ ಮುದುರಿ ಮೂಲೆ ಸೇರುತ್ತಾಳೆ
ಅಳುತ್ತಾ ನಿದ್ದೆ ಹೋಗುತ್ತಾಳೆ, ನೆನ್ನೆಗಳು ಬರೀ ನೆನ್ನೆಗಳಾಗುತ್ತವೆ

ನಾಳೆ ಮಕ್ಕಳ ದಿನಾಚರಣೆ, ಎಲ್ಲ ನೆನ್ನೆಗಳು ನೆನಪಲಿ ಸಾಲುಗಟ್ಟಿವೆ
ಶಾಲೆಯ ಸಂಭ್ರಮ, ಆಚರಣೆಯ ಅಧ್ಯಕ್ಷತೆ,
ಆಟ, ಹಾಡು, ಖುಷಿ, ಬಾಲ್ಯ ಎಷ್ಟಾದರೂ ಬಾಲ್ಯವೇ
ನಾಳೆ ಮತ್ತೆ ಮಕ್ಕಳ ದಿನಾಚರಣೆ, ಅದೆಷ್ಟು ವ್ಯತ್ಯಾಸ
ಬಟ್ಟೆ ಒಗೆವ, ಮನೆ ಗುಡಿಸುವ, ಪಾತ್ರೆ ತೊಳೆವ ಚಿಂತೆ

ನನಗೆ ಗೊತ್ತಿಲ್ಲ, ನಾನು ಯಾರದೋ ಕಥೆಯನ್ನ ಬಾಳುತ್ತಿದ್ದೇನೆ
ನಗುತ್ತಿದ್ದೇನೆ, ಅಳುತ್ತಿದ್ದೇನೆ, ಯಾರದೋ ಸೂಚನೆಗಳಂತೆ
ನನ್ನ ದಿನಗಳು ಯಾವೂ ನನ್ನ ಕೈಗೆ ಸಿಗಲೇ ಇಲ್ಲ, ಬಾಲ್ಯವೂ, ಯವ್ವನವೂ
ಆದರೂ ಇದ್ದೇನೆ, ಗೊಂಬೆಯಂತೆ, ಶವದಂತೆ, ಇಂದಿನ ಬದುಕಿನಂತೆ
ನನ್ನ ನೆನ್ನೆಗಳು ನನ್ನವಾಗಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ, ನನ್ನ ನಾಳೆಗಳು ನನ್ನವಲ್ಲ
ನನ್ನ ಇಂದುಗಳು ಕರಗುವುದು ಅರಿವಿಗೆ ಬರುತ್ತಿಲ್ಲ

ಭಾಶೆ

Me on radio

2009-10-11T10:15:00.000-07:00

Yes... That’s right. I was on radio in Hassan. It was in 2004 I guess. I was either in my second or in final year of graduation. I had attended a quiz conducted by Hassan FM radio. There were many other folks giving all other sorts of programs. Mr. RJ at that time (sorry for not remembering your name) told me that they have time slots for all sorts of programs including poetry reading. That sounded interesting... Poetry on radio... let me do it. I gave him the diary in which I had written my poems. He selected 7 or 8 of them and said they will suffice for the stipulated time. Wow! I was on the 7th cloud.

Though I had done some radio while attending quizzes and all I was nervous. Practiced for good number of times and yes I was ready at last.

Recording alone was also a wonderful experience. Sitting in the recording room which is sound proof, acting by the instructions of the radio jockey over there, hmmmm I enjoyed every second of it. I think my program was for 15 or 20 minutes. Recording was over and I was out of the room.

Mr. RJ showed me the disk on which my voice is recorded and he played it too. Wow! It was awesome to hear my voice. I was extremely happy.

The broadcast was scheduled for another day. Happily I left the AIR Hassan station.

Fortunately my mom visited me on the day when my poetry got broad-casted as my aunt had come down from California. We all me, mom, aunt, mom's dad, lot more family people were gathered at my grand pa's place.

Portico where we were sitting was dead silent and everyone’s ears were hooked to radio. Yes... It started on time, went on and got over. Every one applauded and congratulated me. Mom was more than happy like me.

I never did radio again. I never thought of doing it or taking it seriously even after observing the buzz of it in Bangalore and even after doing my project on Radio listenership. Now a weak voice inside me calls for doing more. When I hear so many radio stations here in Bangalore, I feel like reaching them, just to know if I can do something here too.

Am writing this blog while listening to radio... and hoping to be part of it in any way.

BhaShe

ಸಮಜಾಯಿಷಿ

2009-10-07T01:56:00.000-07:00

ನನ್ನ ಬ್ಲಾಗೇ ನಾನು ನಿನ್ನ ಮರೆತಿಲ್ಲ...
ಸಮಯದ ಅಭಾವ ನನ್ನ ನಿನ್ನಿಂದ ದೂರ ಇಟ್ಟಿದೆ
ಅಗಸ ಗೋಣಿಯ ಕಥೆ ನೆನೆಯಬೇಡ
ಸಲಕರಣೆಗಳಿಂದ ವಂಚಿತಳಾಗಿ ಸುಮ್ಮನಿದ್ದೆ
ಇನ್ನು ಮುಂದೆ ಮತ್ತೆ ನಿನಗೆ ಬಣ್ಣ ಹಚ್ಚುತ್ತೇನೆ
ನಿನ್ನ... ಭಾಶೆ

Anna and Kannada Tili Saaru

2009-09-07T02:11:00.000-07:00

Hello dear readers.

Do not expect for some adventures in kitchen. Though I have less amount of experience in kitchen till now what ever I have prepared, has come out very deliciously. So this article is not a comedy or horror show to you. Its just sharing of my experience in kitchen.

Before you even think that am sharing some new dishes or something, let me tell you that I never liked cooking. I used to run away from kitchen always and I have very limited experience in kitchen.

In 3 months of my married life I have cooked thrice. First time I went to make Chitranna which became vichtranna. However, it tasted really good and my hubby gave 70% marks. Next time it was poori and eerulli aaloogedde (onion, potato) palya. Except that salt was little less even that was good. My marks got stabilized at 70% and I just had to improve.

Since a long time I wanted to eat “anna and tili saaru” in my attes' style. All my attes' (Manjula, Naagu, and Vijaya) are very good in making tili saaru and after my wedding I started missing that saru that I used to have. Though I have an option of visiting their house and getting it, I had a desire of having saru anna at my home.

Sunday, after a spicy day with hot fight with my husband and after taking hours to cool down, I decided to make tili saaru for dinner. This was the first time I was making tili saaru independently, so I was nervous and excited.

Am in no mood to tell you the process I followed to make saaru, as you may know it or rather copy it. Only thing you get know is the appreciation I received. We sat for dinner at around 9:35. My mom in law had eaten something prior so she said she is just gonna taste the food. I was damn hungry and I guess my hubby too was.

First round, thinking of god, I served them anna (rice) and saaru (rasam). Hubby said “Kannada Saaru” after taking the first bite. Then there was a silence for a minute and yea.... I ate it it.. it was awesome. My in law and hubby went on and on and on. Mom in law who sat to taste was up for next round. In minutes, saaru was over. My cooking expert mom in law asked me how to make this saaru.(yupiee she knows all other types of cooking, kerala, tamil nadu, andhra, and north indian style and she asked me this.....hooooray) Hmmmm..... I am so proud of myself for preparing such delicious saaru.

Today, while am writing this, my level of confidence in cooking has gone rocket high and am on the 9th cloud. Now I think of preparing something every day.

Let me see for how many days this spirit will remain.

(You are free to pray for the spirit to remain)

Bhashe

Full moon night on the lake side

2009-08-09T11:18:00.000-07:00

It was after watching “Love aaj kal, that me and Amar decided to have our last trip, can be called a break up trip to Goa.

We are a group of 8, with friends, boy n girl friends, ex’s and every sort of modern mess up. Me and Amar had been dating each other since 3 – 4 years. Now that my parents wanted me to get married, and as Amar was moving to Canada, for his job, with no plans of marriage, we had to break up. I was badly hurt, but was not able and did not want to express it. We were thrilled by the idea of break up party of “Love aaj kal” planed for break up trip.

We left here on last Friday night on 4 bikes. It was a full moon night, sky was almost clear, night was calm. Long stretch of straight roads didn’t thrill us much.

I said last trip to Goa in the beginning right? Yea….. it will be the last trip with friends. I fell in love with Goa, the first time I visited there and then it became our second home. Everything about Goa thrills me. Adventure sports, drinks, sleepless night and time I get with Amar there. We got intimate in one of our trips to Goa, so it means so much for me.

We had stopped on the way to warm up ourselves with a smoke. There were two roads in front of us, one which takes to Goa and another which is unexplored. It was a small road and we have never noticed it at all.

We thought of exploring this small new road. It was a mud road having lantana bushes on both sides. We rode for about 2 – 3 kilo miters and we saw a big rather very big lake. Absence of blowing wind has made the lake look calm and as a big sheet of glass. Moon light created a different effect, making the lake look more than beautiful. The shore of the lake was small and biking looked difficult.

We parked our bikes close by and decided to take a walk on the shore. I was leaning on Amar and walking on the shore was like walking on the path of roses for me. I knew my life will never be the same again. We walked kilo meters and reached an areca nut plantation. Fencing of the plantation was near the shore and it continued for a long stretch. We continued walking on the shore and reached the end of fencing and beginning of forest. We decided not to entre forest and move back, but we saw a water flow feeding the lake.

We changed our decision and followed the water flow in the forest. A big pond was the source of the water flow. We were all tired by that time and decided to rest. We sat down across the shore of the pond and started up with usual talk.

Then we saw a group of three, two guys and a gal coming out of the thick forest behind. They were talking about wild life and sounded as explorers of forest. They had modern bows and arrows and sharp knives. After they saw us they wanted to get all of us out of the forest safely.

Vikram was leading that group of three and was an expert in wild life. He warned to get out of farest ASAP.

In the mean while Naina throwed a stone in to the pond which obviously created waves. Sanjana, who was pretty much enjoying watching the clear water and moons reflection got annoyed and started fighting with Naina.

Water which was clear like gloss turned muddy in seconds. Movements inside the water increased as a hyper reaction to the stone thrown. We were all surprised, then Meena, from the team of three said that the movement in the water was not because of the stone and it is natural.

She continued: After certain time in the night, some creatures inside water become active and hunt for their food. As other nocturnal creatures they sleep in day and function in night. This also means that this is the time when other animals in the forest come to drink water. So this means we had limited time to get out of the forest.

Vikram showed a different way to get out… we all followed him. It was a wet and watery place inside the arecanut plantation. There was a small channel with slow water flow. Sky was fully covered by clouds and as we were waling inside the plantation the tall arecanut trees has made the place darker.

We were waling only based on Vikram’s instructions. Something moved in the water and suddenly Vikram took and arrow shot in a second. He said its a big fish which got missed in a fraction of second. We moved ahead.

Kiran, who was with Vikram had already hit 2 fishes. They had a plan of getting back to the forest and camping there for few more days.

After a point me and Vikram got separated from the group. Vikram lost his way and we were on a different path. As we walked down with the hope of joining the group again we entered another boundary with newly planted arecanut plants and more ups and downs as the place was newly cultivated.

Vikram suspected snake presence there so we walked carefully through the accumulated bio-garbage. After walking for a while we found a water source where some bamboos were put. Vikram said wading may be risky as we walked carefully on the bamboo poles.

There we heard a lady and a kid talking about a deer. Ah! At last we had reached main road we thought. Alas! We were wrong. The lady and the baby are from the local tribal group.

For our surprise we saw a dog protecting a newly born deer. When we observed it closely we were shocked to death to see that it was a cross breed of deer and dog. Vikram decided to take that creature to his laboratory.

Me… away from Amar in the safe hands of Vikram decided to move on to a new life.

ಗೂಡಿಂದ ಆಚೆ

2009-07-16T01:22:00.000-07:00

ಅಮ್ಮನ ಬೆಚ್ಚನೆ ರೆಕ್ಕೆಗೂಡಿಂದ ದೂಡು ಎಂದು
ದೂಡಿಸಿಕೊಂಡು ಹೊರಬಂದ ಹಕ್ಕಿ ನಾನು
ಹಾರಿ, ಹಾಡಿ, ದಣಿದು ಇಂಧನ ತೀರಿದೆ ಇಂದು
ಹೋಗಲಾರೆನು ಮರಳಿ ಗೂಡಿಗೆ, ಅಮ್ಮನ ಮಡಿಲಿಗೆ

ಅವಳ ಕಣ್ಣೆದುರಿಗೇ ಅವಳೇರದೆತ್ತರಕೆ ಹಾರಿದ್ದೆ
ಅವಳ ಕಣ್ಣಿಗೀಗ ನಾನು ದೊಡ್ಡವಳು, ಬೆಳೆದು ನಿಂತವಳು
ಮತ್ತೆ ಮಡಿಲಿಗೆ ಬರಲಾರಳೇನೋ ಎಂದು ಸಮಾಧಾನಿಸಿಕೊಂಡು
ನಾನೇರಿದ ಎತ್ತರವನ್ನ ಅಳೆದು ಖುಷಿಪಡುತ್ತಿದ್ದಾಳೆ

ನನಗೂ ಮತ್ತೆ ಮಡಿಲಿಗೆ ಹೋಗಿ ಬೀಳಲು ಹಿಂಜರಿಕೆ
ನಾನು ಕಷ್ಟ ಪಟ್ಟು ಕಟ್ಟಿದ್ದ "ಬೆಳೆದೆ"ನೆಂಬ ಭ್ರಮೆ ಮುರಿವುದೆಂದು
ಅದಕೇ ಅಮ್ಮನ ಕಣ್ಣಿಂದ ದೂರ ಹಾರಿ ಬಂದಿದ್ದೇನೆ
ನೆಲ ಸೇರಿದ್ದೇನೆ, ಕಣ್ಣೀರಾಗಿದ್ದೇನೆ, ಹಸಿದಿದ್ದೇನೆ

ನನಗೀಗ ಅಮ್ಮನ ನೆನಪಷ್ಟೇ, ಗೂಡು ಬಲು ದೂರ
ಅವಳ ಪ್ರೀತಿಯದೇ ನೆನಪು, ಅವಳ ಸೇರುವ ತವಕ
ಕಣ್ಮುಚ್ಚಿದರೆ ಅವಳ ಮುಖ, ಕಣ್ತೆರೆದರೆ ಕಣ್ಣೀರು
ಬಾಯ್ಬಿಟ್ಟರೆ ಮಾತಿಗಿಂತ ಬಿಕ್ಕಳಿಕೆಯೇ ಜಾಸ್ತಿ

ನನ್ನ ಕಣ್ಣೀರಿಗೆ, ಕರುಳ ಕರೆಗೆ ಅವಳೇ ಹುಡುಕಿ ಬಂದಳೇನೋ ... ಆಸೆ
ಅವಳಿಗೆ ನಾನು ಸೋತಿರುವುದು ಗೊತ್ತೇ ಆಗಿರಲಿಕ್ಕಿಲ್ಲ
ಮುರಿದ ರೆಕ್ಕೆಗಳಿಂದ ಕಣ್ಣೀರೋರೆಸಿ ಕುಂಟುತ್ತಾ ನಡೆಯುತ್ತೇನೆ
ಗೂಡಿನ ಆಸೆ ಮನದಲ್ಲಿ, ಅತಿಯಾದ ಸ್ವಾಭಿಮಾನ ತಲೆಯಲ್ಲಿ

ಭಾಶೆ

One night in and around Athena – The Leela galleria discotheque

2009-07-10T23:24:00.000-07:00

On last Saturday evening, me and my hubby Prabbhu left home at 8 Pm. We reached Ms. S1’s place by 8:30 where Ms. S2 and Mr. A were waiting for us. We chilled out there for some time, got ourselves warmed up for the party mood and went to Athena.

As we had gone there in bike, we parked it in the adjacent road which is a parking area (where normally all Leela visitors park their bikes) and went inside. Prabhu has been parking his bike there since long. He also left his helmet in the safety lock as usual.

Athena, as usual was partly crowded at 9:30. Though DJ Shash (hope this is the right spelling, he is called so all the time, don’t know his full name) was inside, he was not playing music. It was just the warm up music which was played and we were standing, sitting, moving around, and waiting for Shash to start. After a long warm up secession, at 10:30, DJ started with his house music. By this time Athena was fully crowded and ready to rock.

Some known songs remixed, some new ones, hmmm… it started. Every body was dancing and screaming and having fun. Prabhu and Mr. A started with their regular steps. They forgot that they have come with their partners and were dancing with each other. We three girls, with no better option (as our partners were busy) were a group.

I could see bottles and shots going around and getting empty, packets of fire getting burnt what not? Some were clicking photos, some were looking for partners, some were just watching and some dancing like hell, lot of show offs, the ones who have a partner in hand were also looking for some new ones, all that which happens in a regular discotheque.

Till 12, one and a half hours of amazing music, we all were sweated in there. Now all pains slowly showed up as a result of marathon dancing. Party was over and every one started moving out.

I could see broken bottles, spilled drinks, “not able to walk” people and bouncers and friends helping them out of the place. Happy and relaxed we went to the parking lot.

After reaching parking lot, we used the first method of searching his bike. Look for a black pulsar, having a helmet on its back. We walked the whole stretch but couldn’t locate. Now the second method – look for the number. Yes here it is… but… are… there is no helmet!!!

I know you all have seen the regular helmet lock used in bikes. If you have not, see this.

This is what Prabhu had in his bike too.

We went close and realized that the helmet lock was broken. First I thought it should be water tanker, which was standing there, might have come close and the helmet lock got broke. Thinking that the helmet would be lying on the floor I searched for it. But for our shock we saw most of the bikes parked there have had their locks broken and helmets vanished. Oppps… I can’t believe it. In this area, next to Leela, helmets are stolen.

Our entire good mood with high energy went down. Cursing the thieves, Prabhu opens the bike lock. And again petrol indicator has gone 3 points below. Heights!!! We head to the one and only hotel which stays open late nights, close to MG road, to get food.

At Ms. S1’s place again, in the after party mood, we all eat, play games and head back home. Prabhu’s eyes, for the first time, was getting filled with tears, as he rode the bike, due to high speed and cold wind at 3 in the night, in the empty stretch of ring road. We can’t stop cursing those thieves. Prabhu decides that he will park the bike in Ms. S1’s place, which is very close by, next time on.

Next morning, Prabhu buys a new helmet and a new wire helmet lock (which comes with either a key or number lock) and makes sure his helmet stays safe. Now I understand what “parking at your own risk” means.

Cheers
BhaShe

Beginning a new life…

2009-07-10T23:09:00.000-07:00

Getting married/committed to a new relationship is as good as starting a new life. Marriage has to be an equal share partnership and not a sole proprietorship firm.

We have moved out of 1940's and 50's, where probably was, marriage a sole proprietorship, husband being the owner and ruler. Exceptions set apart. It is 2009 now and for a marriage to be successful, rather to fix a relationship, we have to understand that both parties in the relation are equal.

Why anybody gets married?
When one is madly in love with someone and wants to share a bond, accepted by the society, for a life time. When one feels alone and have grown old enough to start and handle two lives. One wants to reproduce, have a family and take up the responsibility. I mean it all comes close to one answer, that is when one want some real change in life and when one is strong enough to hold the responsibility.

Mind or heart? What to follow when it comes to choosing a partner?
It depends on what orientation one has towards life. If you are a very calculative and business minded person, following heart may cause dissatisfaction in later stages. The ones, who always deal through heart, please follow your heart in love and marriage too.

For a girl, financial security is not the only reason for marriage. Most girls are as strong as man when it comes to financial security. They earn and they have their own terms. They marry for the need of having a bond with their loved ones.

Even boys want a bond and some one to be there for them always. They have the need for someone who can take care of them all the time. They need a partner who will be together forever and from whom they can see their next generation.

Partner, companion is what is required, not a dominating bodyguard or a spy. - Though we say world has become a village, distance between people is increasing. Though we have n number of ways to reach/contact people, having one with whom everything can be shared, is very less. The need to have a truthful partner has increased. Complications in life are mostly created by feeling less relationships and disbelief.

Understanding – I understand that everybody on this earth is not mind readers, to understand someone in their first looks. However, we should understand ourselves very well so that we know what we want. Keeping oneself open in front of the partner makes life simpler.

Limit your expectations - one should keep limits for things to expect from their partner. No one is perfect including you. So in that scenario expecting a perfect partner is stupidity.

Sacrifice - when it is mutual understanding and sharing of a lifetime relationship, there is always a need for sacrifice. On the first hand, it looks impossible and heartbreaking but in the long run, this plays as a bondage and strengthens the relationship. Don’t blindly be ready for sacrifice. Have your limits in that as well. Don’t let your partner take you for granted all the time. There is fun in fighting too… some times.

Putting your self in the shoes of your partner - when it comes to understanding and decision making put your self in your partner’s shoes and try and understand their point of view. Two brains are better than one.

Commitment - On top of all these, you should have the strength to carry a relationship for lifetime and faith in your decision about the life partner you have chosen. Please don’t commit a relationship if you don’t have the strength to carry it. Always try to stick to your commitments. Never break one, unless you feel that you will loose yourself by sticking to it. Because when a heart breaks no one hears the sound, but the impact can be as worse to spoil a life or end a life.

No one’s life is a bed of roses, its not cake walk. But making it work and making it go on is always in your hands.

At some point of life we all feel the need of a partner, who can hold hands and be a support. So while choosing that partner, make sure you choose the one who is best for you, not the best in the town. It’s your life after all. Make sure you won’t regret for your decision at any point in your life.

Love
BhaShe

I hate him

2009-07-02T03:15:00.000-07:00

I hate him

coz he is so charming

attractive and interesting

coz he is a nice human being

I hate him

coz he didn't notice me any time

coz his smile was so spare

coz he was so rarely seen

I hate him

coz I was attracted

coz I wanted to be noticed

coz I wasn't able to explain him

I hate him

coz I like him

coz I hoped to be in his circle

coz he left me incomplete

Bhashe

Nothing on this Earth can make me Sad when I DECIDE TO BE HAPPY

2009-06-23T22:01:00.000-07:00

The other day, I was in a bad mood. I get bad mood without any reason sometimes and sometimes due to thinking about something which is actually worthless. There may be one or two in this world like me. Hello... yes am like you... crying without any reason, sometimes self pity and depression. Even that day I was like this.

I had a supporting shoulder fortunately. I rarely share my tears but that day, she was with me. She identified that am going to break and she took me in her hands. I had a hand to wipe my tears and ears to listen to my pain (so called, actually). I was worried about something, which I cannot do anything even if I want to.

That was not the only bad day. However, somehow the next day I realized a truth. Truth that unless I want feel bad, nothing can make me feel bad. Circumstances may push to the edge of breaking down, but if I decide not to give special attention to it, it is not hard to manage.

“NOTHING ON THIS EARTH CAN MAKE ME SAD WHEN I DECIDE TO BE HAPPY” - I wrote these words with a smiley on a paper and pinned it in my workstation. (You know we, the working crowd, spend most of our lives in office and on road. So I feel its ideal to stick this in my office than in my bedroom!!). After that day, I don't remember any day, me having a bad mood (touch wood).

Am having all wonderful days of my life in this period, may be another reason for having a smiley on my face all the time. However, I don't think that is the driver. If I had to cry, I would have found several reasons with all good things that's happening for me.

Its my decision to be happy, I know now. Hope I stick to my decision always. Even today I have those magical words hanging in front of my eyes. To cheer me up all the time.

Hello.. dear ones like me... are you listening...? Make up your mind and the world will look better each day.

Love

BhaShe

I overheard you

2009-06-17T23:11:00.000-07:00

I overheard you when you were speaking about me

yesterday, the Wednesday, while having food,

I was behind you, didn't you notice?

Or is that an intentional conversation you made?

You spoke about me, you spoke about marriage,

you spoke about rethinking on your decision

Are you curious to know about me?

Are you hesitant to speak with me?

Re-look at your decision, speak to me,

its okay!!! its no one else, its “me”!!!

Come on! We are all social animals,

haven't you studied? Haven't you practiced?

Cross your boundaries, open up

your image will not collapse by this

Though I over heard am ready to speak,

I take up this initiative to stretch my hand,

I know you are not shy, you have the “guts”,

friendship is too big word to fit in this small matter

Even am curious, I want to know

am like this, please don't mind,

hope you speak, hope you share,

hope my stretched hand doesn't remain empty.

BhaShe

ಹೀಗೆ ಜಾಗೃತಳಾಗಿರುವೆ

2009-06-08T21:06:00.000-07:00

ಒಂದೊಂದು ಸಲಾ ಹಾಗೇ!
ಬದುಕಿರೋದು ಮರೆತೆ ಹೋಗುತ್ತೆ, ನಾವೂ, ಅವರೂ,
ಎಲ್ಲೋ ಥಟ್ಟನೆ ತಲೆಗೆ ಹೊಡೆದಂತೆ ನೆನಪಾಗುತ್ತೆ ಕೆಲವೊಮ್ಮೆ
ಅವರು ಬದುಕಿದ್ದಾರಲ್ವ?
ನಾವು ಮರೆತೇ ಬಿಟ್ಟಿದ್ದೆವಲ್ವ?

ಬದುಕು ಹಾಗೇ ಓಡ್ತಾನೆ ಇರುತ್ತೆ
ಹುಚ್ಚು ನಾಯಿ ಬೆನ್ನತ್ತಿದವರ ಹಾಗೆ, ದಾರಿಗಳು ಗೊತ್ತೇ ಆಗಲ್ಲ
ಕೆಲವೊಮ್ಮೆ ಬಿದ್ದು ಏಳೋಷ್ಟರಲ್ಲಿ ಕಾಲಗಲೇ ಕಳೆದು ಹೋಗಿರುತ್ತೆ
ಇರುವುದೊಂದೇ ಭೂಮಿ, ನಾಲ್ಕೇ ದಿಕ್ಕು
ಇಷ್ಟರಲ್ಲೇ ಅದೆಷ್ಟು ಕಳೆದು ಹೋಗಿರ್ತಿವಿ ನಾವು

ಮತ್ತೆ ಮತ್ತೆ ಸಂಧಿಸೋ ಮುಖಗಳು, ಕಾಡೋ ಪ್ರಶ್ನೆಗಳು
ನಾವು ನಡೆಯುತ್ತಿದ್ದೇವ, ಕಲ್ಲಾಗಿದ್ದೇವ?
ಎಲ್ಲ ಕಡೆ ಗಿರಕಿ ಹೊಡೆದು ಅಲ್ಲೇ ಬಂದು ಬೀಳತ್ತೆ ಮತ್ತೆ
ನೆನ್ನೆ, ನಾಳೆ, ಇಂದು, ಎಲ್ಲಾ ಒಂದೇ ಆಗುತ್ತೆ
ಆದರೂ ನಾವೇನೋ ದಿಗ್ವಿಜಯದ ಕುದುರೆ ಏರಿದವರಂತೆ

ಮತ್ತೊಮ್ಮೆ ಹೀಗೇ ಕಳೆದು ಹೋಗಿರುವೆ
ಮತ್ತೊಮ್ಮೆ ಹೀಗೇ ಜಾಗೃತಳಾಗಿರುವೆ
ಬದುಕು ಯಾವ ವ್ಯತ್ಯಾಸವನ್ನು ತೋರುವುದಿಲ್ಲ

Translation

Awaken

At time its like this
we forget being alive, we, as well others
suddenly it flashes in mind
oh! they are alive,
alas! We had forgotten

life keeps running
as if a mad dog is back of it, loosing roads,
by the time we get up after a fall, ages pass
its a single earth, only four directions,
but we keep getting lost

we keep seeing the same faces, same questions throw up,
are we moving or standing still like a rock?
Everything roams around and comes back to it
yesterday, today, tomorrow, is all one
still we pose as if we have conquered

am lost again,
am awaken again,
life shows no difference

Dear Readers,
Please tell me if the translation conveys the same meaning of the original.
BhaShe

Gonibeedu – My native

2009-06-03T05:30:00.000-07:00

Let me introduce my native to you.

Gonibeedu, Gonibeed, Gonibed, Gonibidu, Goneebeedu, are some of the spellings usually used. But I always prefer using Gonibeedu as I feel its just right. It is in Mudigere Tq of Chikmagalore District. Paddy fields surrounded by coffee plantations, areca nut plantations, pepper, cardamom, and lush greenery, this place, I feel, is next to heaven. (Come on! it's my native – I can say this)

My native is a small village in the midst of nature. It is a hobli HQ with good population, sufficient facilities and infra. It's on a state highway which is getting converted to a national highway, so soon I expect more growth at my native. Some minerals and all that are found close to my native. Am not sure what tomorrow my native would be, but today it's a heaven. Limited mobile network (only BSNL and Airtel) barely polluted air, water and lush greenery, makes it an awesome place to relax. Few tourists, un exploited natural beauty are the specialities of my native. So please do not expect any cottage, resort or anything close by. If you know someone, then your accommodation have to be their house otherwise just read my blog and imagine your self roaming around at my native and be happy.

Gonibeedu – The name has come from a demon 'Ghonasura' who ruled this place long time ago. Threatened and tortured by the demon, people of this locality prayed Shiva or Subrahmanya to kill the demon and relieve them from his clutches. So the name of the place which was Ghonasuraveedu or some thing similar retained and became 'Gonibeedu', and God Subranmanya settled here protecting the village.

Gonibeedu has 4 places to visit and it is closely located to 3 or 4 more places which are worth visiting. Here is the list:
Adi Subrahmanya Swami temple
Hanuman Mandir
Male Mallappana Gudda (Aane Mallappana Gudda)
Gavi Gudda
Angadi
Devavrunda
Nanya Bhairaveshvara (Shishila)

Adi Subrahmanyeshwara Temple - This temple is said to be the oldest subrahmanya temple. My grandpa used to tell me that only after the prasadam from this temple reach kukke, they used to start the “rathotsava” the annual fair there.

Its a small temple built by the Hakka Bukkaraya, (Details by my grandpa) am Agrahara was build and hundreds of archers of land was given as 'umbali' to the temple. 30 – 40 families from north India came and settled down here. My ancestors were one among them. (Source again my grandpa)

Agrahara temple (as usually called by the local people) is in the banks of the river Hemavathi. A big Champak tree with flower all round th year, banyan tree, 'nagara katte' are all on the way from temple to the river.

Hemavathi river called 'yenne hole' is well suited for playing in water. In winter and summer its only 4 to 6 feet deep and great fun to play and pass time. However, in rainy season it it around 20 – 30 feet wide and 15 – 20 feet deep. With its red muddy water, it looks wild and beautiful.

You can witness some beautiful sunsets sitting on the banks of Hemavathi in the winter and summer seasons. In rainy season, it rains heavily here. (Gonibeedu is a part of Malenaadu – Heavy rain area in the southwestern part of Karnataka.)

Hanuman Mandir – hope you know that in the entrance of every village they keep a statue of Hanuman so that none of the evils enter the village. Because of the same reason we do have a Hanuman statue. However, a devotee named Rajappan Chettiyar has built a beautiful spacious temple for the statue and so this place is in the list. Today, when someone gives a fan to a hospital or temple, you could see their whole family history on it. But him, after constructing such a big temple, has not left any marks of his on it. The qualities of a real devotee...!

Male Mallappana Gudda (Aane Mallappana Gudda) – The emperors of Hoysala dynasty (if am not wrong) used to raise and maintain their elephants here so it is called “Ane mallappana gudda” (Ane = Elephant)

There is a natural shivalinga on the top of this gudda. (Gudda = small hill). It is called Male Malleshwara. He is the god of rain for the surrounding villages. If we desperately need rain, all the villagers for the surrounding places come together and make prayers here. My grand pa used to tell, in their ages, even before they climb down the gudda, it would rain and they reach home wet drenched in rain. Now a days though it does not workout that way, people believe that it rains within a short period.

Gavi Gudda – this is around 12 to 15 km from Gonibeedu. There is a cave in this gudda so its called gavi gudda. (Gavi = Guhe = Cave). The main deity is of Gavi Gangadareshwara with some sub gods around. It is said that a bear used to stay around. Now due to “plantationization” of all the forest around, its very rare to find any wild animals here.

This temple is in the middle of the hill. If you wish yo climb up to reach the top, you have to climb on a huge rock and then there is a walk way. Winter mornings, when the whole of the surrounding villages are covered by mist, you feel you are the only survivors of the “pralaya” the destruction caused by rain.

Angadi – this is the place where Sala, the founder of Hoysala dynasty killed a tiger, by the order of his guru in gurukula. If you know the history of Hoysala dynasty of Karnataka well and good. You will pick the story and the location very easily, if you don't know this part of history then “go to google and find it your self”. Am not your history teacher.

This place has “Sapta Matruka Temple” (place for all 7 matru devis) and some old jain basdis and ancient hoysala style small temples. Get your food, get your water, sit and relax for a while. Its a beautiful and silent place.

Devavrunda – (group of gods) – is a place around 22 km away from Gonibeedu has a beautiful and peaceful temple and a lake. This is also a historical place but right now I don't remember the story. Will write about it after my next visit to my native. Its good to go. Cool roads with no traffic, beautiful places around, that's what you want to relax right?

Nanya Bhairaveshvara (Shishila) – this is quite far, about 30 35 km but worth visiting. Temple is small and not all that interesting, however, the Shishila peak attracts you. In this place here is no mobile network and very few houses around. So better go early and reach back early.

Shishila peak is said to be one of the highest peaks in the ghats of Charmadi and is one of the closest routes to Dharmastala. My dream was to get married on the top of Shishila peak but it didn't as my mom was against it. My next dream is to get my hubby there. Once I get him there I will write more about it.

This was all about places around my native. Pictures – am sorry right now I can't load them for you. I will keep loading them when ever I capture a worth watching picture.

Then next time you are around Mudigere, Belur, Kalasa, Horanadu, Dharmasthala, or any other place in Hassan and Chickmaglore and driving on SH 57, just look around carefully. You might see “Gonibeedu” board on your way. You might find the entrance arch of Subrahmanya temple.Catch you there.

Cheers.

Long off - No blogging!!!

2009-05-08T08:24:00.000-07:00

Dear Readers,

Am out, out of city, and out of state for some days.

Don't get bored looking at this message for next 20 - 25 days.

Once am back I will write some new stuff.

Wait for it.

BhaShe

Nothing Lasts

2009-05-06T03:02:00.000-07:00

Nothing will last for ever, nothing
fame, name, money, nothing
some times even we won't last long
long enough to make a life worth

Do we have to take life more lightly?
or keep 'geeta' in mind all the time
we shout, we cry, we touch extremes
but none of this will last for ever

Is it worth all those efforts, I wonder
is it really worth pouring all those emotions?
we live, we die, nothing changes, no one cares,
all we had, we made would die one day

we are sad today, tomorrow we may forget to cry
our happiness may be lost, dear ones die,
but till when can we be in the hangover
till when can we cry, till when can we shutter
only till we live
is it worth spoiling today when we know nothing lasts?

Good Bye

2009-05-04T20:52:00.000-07:00

He waved his hands
I thought he will come back
I thought I will have some more happy time with him
I thought we are departing to get-together

When ever you say bye
to some one you have liked, lived,
keep their face, smile, smell alive with you
never loose it thinking that you will meet again

He life that day, I was not sad
I was happy planning for our next meet
How will I know he left me forever
I didn't store that last smile in my memory

He just left, I moved on
I don't cry for loosing him, no pain,
It just strikes my mind, if I had known
if I had known, that's the last time
I would have told him a lot from my heart

I didn't tell him I love him
I didn't tell him I will miss him
I didn't tell him about that naughty sweet dream
about that little desire, that great memory

He just left that day, I was feeling lonely
it took weeks for me to realize am alone
I just didn't tell him not to go, I didn't took a photo
I wish I had spoken, I wish I was open
all that remains with me is the pain of being late.

ಗಂಗಾ ಮಾತೆ

2009-05-04T20:44:00.000-07:00

ನಾನಾಗಿರುವೆ ಗಂಗಾಮಾತೆ
ನಾನಾಗಿರುವೆ ಗಂಗಾಮಾತೆ
ಹೊಳೆಯಲಿ ಹರಿದು ಹೋಗಲು
ಹೋಗಿ ನಾನು ಶಿವನ ತಲೆಯ ಮೇಲೆ ಕುಳಿತು ಹಾಡುವೆ
ಹಾಡನು ಕೇಳಿ ಶಿವ ಪಾರ್ವತಿ ತಕ್ಕ ತಾಳಕೆ ಕುಣಿಯುವರು
ಕುಣಿದಾಗ ನಾನು ಹರಿದು ಬರುವೆ ನಿಮ್ಮಲ್ಲಿಗೆ
ನಾನಿಲ್ಲದೆಯೇ ಏನೂ ಆಗದು ನಾನೇ ಮುಖ್ಯವಾಗಿರುವೆ
ನಾನಾಗಿರುವೆ ಗಂಗಾಮಾತೆ
ನಾನಾಗಿರುವೆ ಗಂಗಾಮಾತೆ

This is my second poem written when I was in 1st standard. Meaning of the poem given below.
I am the mother Ganga
I am the mother Ganga I flow as a river
I flow and sit on the head of Shiva and sing
Shiva and Parvathi will dance for my song
When they dance I flow and come to you
Nothing happens without me, am very important
I am the mother Ganga
I am the mother Ganga

Love Sea

2009-05-04T06:41:00.001-07:00

Love is in the air
love is everywhere
love is in my blood
love love love all around

Love is making me happy
love is making me smile
I just wanna love the love, I love my love,
today, now, earth is heaven and I am flying

I wish I would retain this happiness for ever
I wish I could stock this smile and use it whenever
I donno what's tomorrow is getting me,
I can't change what yesterday has done to me

Today, now am very happy
I have all the love in this world in my heart
come to me, take as many smiles or as much love you want
give it ti me back, when my mood is blue and the sky is dark.