You Are More Like God

You have left an impression on me
You left more ends untied
I am puzzled and I keep looking for right ends to join
More than knowing you, I have imagined about you

You will always be the same for me
Even though you are actually a changed person in reality
I will always look at you the way I did, and respect
In my case, ignorance has become a bliss in disguise

When those dreams break and hurt me
Or when they come true and thrill me
I think of you and bring your face in front of my eyes
Nothing is ever as lovely and as painful as you are

From a known person, you are more of an imaginary friend now
I get creative in bringing life to those conversations
As you know, all I need is somebody to listen
And rarely anybody to guide me or even reply

I think of you when I am happy or sad
You are my prescribed antidepressant
Those words I whisper in the air about things I wanted to say
Get the burden off me, without troubling you

You are almost like god now
Unknown, not seen, curiosity and controversy
I believe you are there, but not sure if you can hear me
Your silence does not bother me anymore

BhaShe

ಗಂಡಸರೇ

ನಿಮ್ಮ ಕೀರ್ತಿಯ ಬಸಿರ ಹೊರಲು ನಾವೇ ಬೇಕು
ಇಲ್ಲದ ಸಂಭ್ರಮ ನಿಮ್ಮಲ್ಲಿ, ಬೀಗುವಿರಿ ದೊಡ್ಡದೇನೋ ಸಾಧಿಸಿದ ಖುಷಿಯಲ್ಲಿ
ಹೊಟ್ಟೆಯಲ್ಲಿರುವ ಚಿಗುರಿನ ಬೇರು
ಯಾವತ್ತೂ ನಮ್ಮ ಹೊಟ್ಟೆಯ ಗುಟ್ಟು, ನಿಮಗೇನು ಗೊತ್ತು?

ಬೊಗಸೆ ಪ್ರೀತಿಗಾಗಿ, ಗೆಳೆತನಕ್ಕಾಗಿ ಬೇಡುವ ನಾವು
ಅದಕ್ಕೇ ಹಿಗ್ಗಿ ಹೀರೆಕಾಯಿಯಾಗುವ ನೀವುಗಳು
ನಾವೇ ಬಿಟ್ಟು ಕೊಟ್ಟ ರಾಜ್ಯಕ್ಕೆ ಅಧಿಪತಿಯಾಗಿ
ನಮ್ಮ ಮೇಲೇ ದಬ್ಬಾಳಿಕೆ ಮಾಡುವ ಮೀಸೆ ಹೊತ್ತ ಜಿರಳೆಗಳು

ಎಂದಿಗೂ ತ್ಯಾಗ, ಬಲಿದಾನವೆಲ್ಲಾ ಹೆಣ್ಣಿನ ಜವಾಬ್ದಾರಿಯೇ
ಮೈ ಬೆಳೆದರೂ ಬುದ್ಧಿ ಬೆಳೆಯದ ಗಂಡುಕುಲಕ್ಕೆ
ಹೆಣ್ಣು ಜಾತಿಯ ಅರ್ಥವಾಗದ ತಳಮಳಗಳ ತಿಳಿಸಬೇಕು
ನಿಮ್ಮನ್ನು ಮನುಷ್ಯರಾಗಿಸುವಲ್ಲಿ, ನಮ್ಮ ಕೂದಲು ಹಣ್ಣು

ನಿಮ್ಮ ಹೆತ್ತಿದ್ದಕ್ಕಾಗಿ, ಪೊರೆದಿದ್ದಕ್ಕಾಗಿ, ಸಂತಾನ ಸುಖ ನೀಡಿದ್ದಕ್ಕಾಗಿ
ಪಿತೃಗಳೆಂದಿದ್ದಕ್ಕಾಗಿ, ನಿಮಗಾಗಿ ಅತ್ತಿದ್ದಕ್ಕಾಗಿ, ನಿಮ್ಮೊಡನೆ ನಕ್ಕಿದ್ದಕ್ಕಾಗಿ
ನಮ್ಮನ್ನೂ ಒಮ್ಮೊಮ್ಮೆ ಪರಿಗಣಿಸಿ, ನಿಮ್ಮ ಆದ್ಯತೆಗಳಲ್ಲಿ
ನಿಮಗೆ ನಾವಿತ್ತ ಸಂಭ್ರಮದಲ್ಲಿ, ನಮಗೂ ಒಂದು ಪಾಲಿರಲಿ.

ಭಾಶೆ

Goddess of Happiness

Some tunes go around in my heart
I feel happy and sad together
Some incomplete feeling raises strongly
Feels as if am intoxicated or in dream

I feel hot and cold, I like myself
I look at mirror so many times
Just to check if I look okay
Who says these things happen only at sixteen?

I wanna stretch my hand to reach to people I want
It feels as if the world is revolving around me
It’s like a deep routed desire, grows as you cut
A desire which runs in my veins

I feel it’s not me, inside me, anymore
Its somebody else, formed of rain drops
Formed of hailstones, of river water
Formed of bird chirping, and evening breeze

Formed of crystals of love and happiness
Formed of spilled wine from the glass
Formed of a scent, of a sweet dream, of desire
Formed of that unknown, unseen angel

I am all feathers and flying around
I am all music, submerged in air
I am all dance, in every step, part of life,
I am the bliss, smile of god, happiness of earth

Spreading naughtiness and cheer all around
Multiplying smile and happiness, many folds
I feel supreme, unique, on top of the world
I drive strength from the love I have in my heart and in my arms

Some unknown tune runs in my mind all the time
Making me a different person constantly
I love all the love I get and I give
I am the goddess of happiness.

BhaShe

Positivity

When in dark, scared to death
Don’t lose hope, darkness has to end
Have faith and knock all the doors
One or the other shall definitely open up

Sometimes people say it’s useless
To knock a closed door
If it were to be closed all the time
It would have been wall and not door

Doors have the possibility to get open
To shed light, to show new directions
It’s like silver lining in clouds
It’s like the saying ‘everything happens for good’

Give yourself out to life, be open
For adventures, experiences, lessons
Be brave enough to take things and move on
It’s just one life, live it with positivity.

BhaShe

After you have gone

Now that, I know that, you have gone
I try to find you in everybody else

I attempt to fit the names I gave you
I try and talk the way I used to talk to you
I recall those jokes and crack them again
I try and fix those loosened ends

I seek for fresh faces to speak to
Look out for fresh ideas to write
Some time ago, it was all about you
Now I want to make it about me again

Am opening the happiness doors I had closed
My hands are welcome for a friendship shake hand
Having you as a friend and losing you is tough
It is part of life; I hope to find better ones

I can see you in pieces every where
Some of your qualities here and there
Somebody has a similar voice, gesture and laugh
Somebody else cares like you and makes me feel safe

Now that, am sure, that you are no more there
Am trying not to be like you
Am more myself and losing your influence now
Am being a new me, after you have gone

BhaShe

ರಕ್ತ ಕಣ್ಣೀರು

ಇದೇ ಅಲ್ಲವೇ ನಿನಗೆ ಬೇಕಾಗಿದ್ದು?
ನನ್ನ ರಕ್ತ ಕಣ್ಣೀರು

ತಣ್ಣಗೆ ನದಿಯಂತೆ ಸಾಗುತ್ತಿದ್ದ ನನ್ನ ಬಾಳಿಗೆ
ಕಲ್ಲೆಸೆದವನು ನೀನೇ
ನನ್ನ ಪಾಡಿಗೆ ನಾನಿದ್ದವಳಿಗೆ
ಇಲ್ಲದ ಆಸೆ ತೋರಿಸಿದವ ನೀನೇ

ನನ್ನದು ಅಂತ ಒಂದು ಗೂಡಿತ್ತು, ಗುರಿಯಿತ್ತು
ತನ್ನದೇ ರೀತಿಯಲಿ ನನ್ನ ಬಾಳು ಚೆಂದಿತ್ತು
ಅಳುವೋ, ನಗುವೋ, ಬಾಳಲು ಛಲವಿತ್ತು
ಹೆಜ್ಜೆಗಳ ನಾನು ನಿಧಾನವಾಗಿ ಕೀಳುತ್ತಿದ್ದರೂ
ಇಡಲು ಕಾಲಡಿ ನೆಲವಿತ್ತು

ನೀನಿತ್ತ ಕನಸುಗಳಲಿ ಬರೀ ರೆಕ್ಕೆಗಳು
ಭೂಮಿಯಿಂದೆತ್ತರದಿ ಹಾರಾಟ, ಮರಗಳ ತುದಿ ಒಡನಾಟ
ನದಿಯ ಜಲಪಾತವಾಗಿಸಿದವನೇ
ಹುಚ್ಚು ಹೆಬ್ಬಂಡೆಗಳ ತಂದುರುಳಿಸಿ ಗಲಗುಟ್ಟಿಸಿದವನೇ
ನಾನೇನು ಮಾಡಿದ್ದೆ ಹೇಳು ಇದ ಅನುಭವಿಸಲು?

ಒಮ್ಮಿಂದೊಮ್ಮೆ ಮರೆಯಾಗಲಿಲ್ಲ ನೀನು
ದಿನಾ ಕರಗುವ ಚಂದ್ರಮನಂತೆ
ಆಗೊಮ್ಮೆ ಈಗೊಮ್ಮೆ ನೆನಪಾದರೆ ಸುರಿವ ಅಡ್ಡ ಮಳೆಯಂತೆ
ಆಲಿಕಲ್ಲುಗಳ ಏಟುಗಳ ಕಲೆ, ಮೈಯೆಲ್ಲಾ ತುಂಬಿದೆ

ನದಿಯ ನೀರೊಣಗಿ, ಕನಸುಗಳ ರೆಕ್ಕೆ ಮುರಿದು
ಎಲ್ಲಾ ಮತ್ತೆ ಮಣ್ಣಿಗೆ, ಶರಣಾಗಿರುವೆ
ಎತ್ತರದಿಂದ ಬಂದು ಬಂಡೆಗಪ್ಪಳಿಸಿದ ರಭಸಕ್ಕೆ
ಬಂಡೆಗೇ ನೋವಾಗಿದೆ, ನಾನುಳಿದಿರುವೆನೆ?

ಮೋಸದ ಮುಗ್ಧ ಮುಖ ನಿನ್ನದು
ಕೃಷ್ಣನಂತದೆ ಒಂದು ಹೆಸರು, ಹಾಳಾಯ್ತು ಇಂದು
ಕಲೆಗಳು ಮಾಸಲು, ಕೊಳೆ ತೊಳೆಯಲು ಕಾಯುವೆ ಮಳೆಗೆ
ಕಣ್ಣಿಂದ ಹರಿದ ರಕ್ತ ಕಿವಿ, ಮೂಗು, ಬಾಯ ಸಂದಿಗಳಲಿ ಹೆಪ್ಪುಗಟ್ಟಿದೆ
ಮುತ್ತುವ ನೊಣಗಳ ಹಾರಿಸುವ ವ್ಯರ್ಥ ಪ್ರಯತ್ನ ಜಾರಿಯಿದೆ

ಭಾಶೆ

Pappa

My hero, my friend and my companion

Melted for my stubbornness
Going an extra mile
Just to stop me cry
And see me smile

I was so afraid that afternoon
When the bus was crowded and dad on top
Putting luggage and bus moved
Could not think a day without you

Being spirited and enthusiastic
Climbing mountains, stunts on bike
Those fast rides leaving tears in my eyes
All the adventure I always wanted

Be it teaching me swimming or climbing trees
Solving my math problems or oiling my hair
Hunt for forest fruits or game of cards
Trek with cousins or feeding me when am angry

I can’t believe you can get old
Get angry and cranky and get tired
Your heart is young but body speaks
Those passing days are leaving an effect on you

I am still a kid, not ready to grow up
Not ready to accept realities of life
If the reality is to make me know you are old
I would rather always believe you are forty

I wanna be with you, see you grow old
And realizes the shift of responsibilities
Be strong like you were and look after
And make you feel special like you always did to me

BhaShe

Going Back to Childhood

I went back to my childhood last week
Just few hours, but bliss and joy
Came back refilled with liveliness

Playing in the river Hemavathi
Splashing water on dad, laughing loud
Walking all over the house soaked, wet

Mom made rotti and sambar
Her little palm all over my hair
Amazing oil massage and good night kiss

Granny’s shaking hands holding mine
Her pink lips on my cheeks, gentle kiss
Her desire to hear me sing the songs she taught

I feel more energy in every nerve of mine
I feel refilled, energized and lively
I went and came back from my native

BhaShe

Suicide

After a hectic week
I hit home on a Friday night
Open the door with my key and enter
I scream my lungs out
Somebody is hanging to the fan with a rope
Attempt to suicide

Only we two live here,
Who is this third person hanging?
With my heart pounding I go and see
It’s a known face, it resembles both of us
Oh my god, it’s our love
Trying to kill itself, neglected by both of us

I release it from the rope, bring it down
Pump in some love, attempting to bring back to life
Take good care of it over the weekend,
Hoping to keep it alive
It gets lonely when we both go for work
It gets sad, when we both ignore it

The love that brought us together
Is now eroding, creating a gap
It has become weak and it barely breaths
Am hiding all dangerous things away
We both are afraid to lose it but
We both just don’t try to hold it on

BhaShe

Key To Happiness

We handover our key to happiness
to somebody else just like that
thinking that they will take care of it
forgetting how precious it is

some do take care of it
keeping that smile on our face always
some throw the key to some unknown corner
ignoring out happiness, forgetting what it means to us

from our own hands we bring emotions to life
by loving some and by hating some
we give out the responsibility of handling us
thinking and believing that it is worth it

every drop of tear and every moment of smile
come out having somebody's name on them
the key to our happiness is never in our hands
we keep making false attempts to be happy.

BhaShe

ಸ್ತ್ರೀ ದೇವತೆ

"ದೇವರಿಗೆಲ್ಲಿದೆ ಸ್ವಾತಂತ್ರ"
ಗರ್ಭಗುಡಿಯೊಳಗೆ ಬಂಧಿಯಾಗಿ
ಕೊಡುವ ಅಲ್ಪ ನೈವೇದ್ಯಕ್ಕೆ ತೃಪ್ತನಾಗಿ
ಮಲಗಲೂ ಆಗದೆ, ಕೂರಲೂ ಆಗದೆ
ನಿಲ್ಲುವ ದೇವರಿಗೆಲ್ಲಿದೆ ಸ್ವಾತಂತ್ರ

ನಾವು ಮಾಡಿದಾಗ ಪೂಜೆ ಮಂಗಳಾರತಿ
ಇಲ್ಲದಿದ್ದರೆ ಗರ್ಭಗುಡಿಯ ಅದೇ ಹಳೇ ಉಸಿರು
ಜಿರಳೆ, ಇಲಿ, ಕ್ರಿಮಿಗಳೊಡನೆ ವಾಸ
ಗರ್ಭಗುಡಿಗೊಂದು ಕಿಟಕಿಯೂ ಇಲ್ಲ

ಯೋಚಿಸಲು ಹಲವಾರು ಚಿಂತೆಗಳು
ಯಾವಾಗಲೂ ಕಿವಿಯಾಗಿರಬೇಕಾದ ಅನಿವಾರ್ಯತೆ
ತಮ್ಮ ಬವಣೆಗಳ ನಿನಗೊಪ್ಪಿಸಿ
ನಿಂತು ನೋಡುವ ಜನರು

ಸ್ತ್ರೀಯನ್ನು ಉಬ್ಬಿಸಿ ಏರಿಸಿಬಿಟ್ಟಿದ್ದಾರೆ
"ಸ್ತ್ರೀ ದೇವತೆ"
ಅವಳಿಗೂ ಇಲ್ಲ ಸ್ವಾತಂತ್ರ
ಗಂಡನ ಅಡುಗೆ ಮನೆಯ ಬಂಧಿಯವಳು

ಕೊಡಿಸುವ ಮೂರು ಕಾಸಿನ ಸೀರೆ
ಹುಟ್ಟುವ ಹತ್ತು ಮಕ್ಕಳೊಡನೆ
ಮನೆಗೆಲಸದ ಹೊರೆ ಹೊತ್ತವಳಿಗೆ
ಅತ್ತೆ ಮನೆಯವರ ಪೂಜೆ, ಮಂಗಳಾರತಿ

ಹೆಣ್ಣೇ, ನೀ ದೇವರಾಗಬೇಡ
ಗಂಡು ಮನುಷ್ಯನ ಸಮಾಜಕ್ಕೆ ಬಾ
ನಿನಗಿರುವ ಪಟ್ಟಗಳ ಕಿತ್ತೆಸೆದು
ದೈವತ್ವದ ಬಂಧನ ದೇವರಿಗಷ್ಟೇ ಇರಲಿ

ಭಾಶೇ

I wrote this poem sometime in 2002. After coming to a bigger city like Bangalore and after 8 years, when I read it, I get a question is this still relevant? It may still be relevant and I might not have been looking at that part of the society anymore!
Hope you enjoy reading it.

Emotionally Challenged

I have forgotten to laugh out loud
Guess am emotionally challenged

Child of destiny, poppet of time
No hard feelings, no tears of joy
Inability to attach or detach
Living like a dead body

Fake faces and fake life
Acting every day in real life
Posing as if everything is fine
Dreaming of getting rid

It’s like heart is on a swing
Neither here, nor there
Inability to be what I want to be
Stuck with the past in present

Praying for this ice to break
To be able to lead a normal life
To be able to have my real face
And live the way I like and as I want

BhaShe

Blessed with short memory

Am blessed with short memory
Be it pain or pleasure, it gets erased
Every morning I get up afresh
Storage space gets emptied during my sleep

Carry no revenge, no hatredness
Dreams fade, fights vanish, feelings disappear
Easy and fast, like in a snapshot
I don’t get stuck or get hooked on to

It’s like a paper boat on the water
Going by the water flow or wind direction
Making as less disturbance on the water
Leaving no paths of my movement

I don’t know if it’s a bliss or a bane
Being able to let go and forgive and forget
I happily open my arms for all new things
As the old ones shade away inside

BhaShe

Seeking for God

I had always thought “tujme rab dikhta hai” statement is an exaggeration but now-a-days kind of started realizing that it can be true too. How do you define god? I would say, the one who takes care of you, the one always wants good for you, the one whom you can love, depend and be yourself with, the one you can blindly believe, and one you obey, the one who is an answer for all the questions you have. I mean, even if my definition is a little too much please bear with me, but that’s what/who is god right?.

I have always been wondering, how a mom could love her kid so much, or any person whom one loves. Have we not seen flaws and problems with all sorts of love we give and get. This concept of love has always been very confusing for me. Let me accept that I am a little too self centered and love myself so much that I have very little space to accommodate my loved ones. When anybody, for that matter anybody tells me that they love me so much, this that and everything, I keep wondering how do they have the ability to love somebody so much.

Love somebody so much? there comes the condition part too. Ok! You are not supposed to do like this, talk like this to me, treat me like this… coz I love you. Expectations and demands and terms and conditions, I guess one’s life sees both the best and the worst parts of their lives only because of their loved ones. (do you accept this? Correct me if am wrong) Another set of complication is with the definition of love. If I tell my good friend that I love her, it is taken as friendship, if I just replace the her with him, then, am not sure if I am taken rightly or not. Is love means sharing the living space, or sharing some moments of life or just being there in one corner wishing and praying for the best things for the loved ones? Anyways, I don’t think there is a solid definition or the right or wrong answer to this. All this is just gray areas.

However, all these conditions do not come to picture only when somebody have an unconditional love to somebody else. The way they say, the only thing I want is you to be happy and stuff. Is it really possible to love somebody without any condition? Imagine a scene where you pour in love on somebody and that somebody just ignores you. Would you still be able to love them? That way you had felt or done it before? Or is it only on the books?

Coming back to God, the ability to love God and be unconditional with him would be such a pleasure. He won’t directly ask you to do something but get it done through you if he needs, and just let you be what you are or make you what he wants you to be. Realizing this and loving him sounds so peaceful and joyful. However, I fail to make a connect with him. I fail to associate him with somebody or something. I know I need to gain that peace of mind and have the feeling that everything is running as he wants it to be, but am failing to connect the dots.

If any of you know, can you please explain me how a human progresses towards making life simpler and better? What is the first step and what are the baby steps that help somebody move on? I just finished the 5th chapter of the Holy Geetha and it promises to talk about the baby steps from 6th chapter on. Reading is fine but if I don’t implement or practice then is it any good that I read it? Am looking for some help in bringing things to practice.

When I was a kid, I saw my grand pa do pooja every morning for at least one and a half hours, doing ‘abhisheka’ and ‘naivedya’ and arti, chanting the ‘sooktas’. I wonder if he actually understood the meaning of every ‘mantra’ he chanted. The ‘gayatri jap’ is done to bring peace of mind and it’s a powerful source/means to start meditation, but my grand pa was not peaceful. He was very aggressive and short tempered. I am bringing in all that I have seen, heard, read and showcasing where I stand. I can’t do pooja unless I understand it. The need for knowledge and the need for self identification is what I am wanting to fulfill.

The moment I say knowledge and the need t know more, does this cuts-off the possibility of having an unconditional love towards God be able to realize am his poppet? Please… suggest me books (better if they are available in Kannada) and tell me, where you stand. I seek for help.

Sometimes I wonder, am I doing it because I want to run away, I am afraid of failures, am I suffering from the Arjun syndrome? and I fail to understand where I stand. How can one get to know what do they want out of life?

BhaShe

Ragged!

Tears all over, hurt in pain
People around me are laughing at me
I have become an element for fun
I got ragged

Torn and hurt, wounds and swelling showing up
Shivering me, dried throat, lost my mind
Humiliated, just wanting an escape
I got ragged

Life is ragging me every single day
Breaking my small and sweet dreams and wishes
Making me naked in public
Destroying my self-confidence and pride

I pray for strength to overcome this pain
To fight those hands and save myself
To earn the capacity to stop such situations
To have peace of mind about tomorrow.

BhaShe

Dude! I will miss you

You were the window for the man’s world
Hearts were kept open for each other to read
The more we spoke, the stronger got our friendship
Many common things kept us attached

I don’t know why I am writing this poem for you
But I don’t want to stop it either
I wanna tell you, you were special to me and
I will miss you when you are gone

No great philosophy, no great showing off
We just had a lot of good moments and tons of smile
I know I will remember that all and laugh again
Whenever I feel the need of that warmth you gave me always
Dude! I will miss you badly when you are gone.

BhaShe

This poem is a special dedication to my colleague, friend, HIM!. When we worked as a team, we had great time, fight over decisions, pulling each other’s leg and sharing our poetry.
He left the company and moved on!
This is for you dear! J This was written the day when he told me he is looking for a new job.

Yes! I still miss him! It’s been so many days he is gone, but I miss him still. I feel, if I go back to his cubicle in 3rd floor I can still meet him, or in the cubicle in 2nd floor. He would ask me to wait to solve my issue till he finishes what he is doing, or show me a funny video clip or something n make me laugh or say something really funny or act something making me believe, what he said is true n tell me he was bluffing. It was good, gooooooood dear! And I guess I will miss u always!

You

We are two parts of the same soul
Having our journey directed towards different directions
We are walking together, staying apart
Those miles between us does not count here

It’s the link between hearts not hands
That holds our heart beats together
It’s the need we have for each other
That binds us despite all differences

We share dreams and think similar
Love life the way it deserves
Preserve every smile for each other and share
It’s a bliss to have someone like you in life

You pour positivity in to my life
Energy in to my mind and smile on my face
When with you, every cloud shows a silver lining
Life gets brighter and better in your presence

Its beyond definition and seamlessly vast
To share this life with you, is the best part
Whatever you are, whatever the relation is
It makes life happier and gives reasons to live.

BhaShe

Evolution

Journey from yesterday to tomorrow
Unveiling of new faces and new roles

Not what I was or what I am
Not being one, being many at once
Not knowing what I am going to be
Just knowing about the expansion

Losing the old skin, old face, old thoughts
Losing boundary limits and definitions
Losing oneness in creating oneness
Losing a lot to create and gain lot more

It’s the power, its identity, its real me
Going beyond and above, crossing borders
It’s about the inner sprout, the strength
The ability to make myself the way I want

It’s the journey started to end one day
But, to leave marks and set milestones
It’s not about the destiny but the journey in itself
That shows how I have evolved!

BhaShe

ಬಳ್ಳಿ

ಹುಟ್ಟುವಾಗ ನಾವೆಲ್ಲರೂ ಒಂದೇ ಥರ
ಕೊಂಚ ಕೊಂಚವೇ ಬೆಳೆದಾಗ ಅರಿವಾಗುತ್ತೆ
ನಾವು ಬಳ್ಳಿಗಳೆಂದು, ನೀವು ಮರಗಳೆಂದು

ಮೊದಲು ಅಪ್ಪ ಎಂಬ ಮರಕ್ಕೆ ಒರಗಿ ನಿಂತು
ಅಲ್ಲಲ್ಲಿ ಕೆಲವು ಬಳ್ಳಿಗಳ ಬಿಟ್ಟು, ಅಂಟಿ
ಕಾಯುವುದು ನಮ್ಮದಾಗುವ ಮರಕ್ಕೆ

ಅಪ್ಪ ಮರದಿಂದ ಗಂಡ ಮರಕ್ಕೆ ಅಂಟಿದಂತೆ
ಶುರು ನಮ್ಮ ಬೆಳವಣಿಗೆ, ಹಬ್ಬುವಿಕೆ
ನಲವತ್ತೈವತ್ತು ವರ್ಷಗಳ ಒಡನಾಟಕ್ಕೆ ನಾಂದಿ

ನಿಮ್ಮ ಮೈಯೆಲ್ಲಾ ಹಬ್ಬಿ ತಬ್ಬಿ ಮುಚ್ಚಿಬಿಡುತ್ತೇವೆ
ಮೃದು ಕೈಗಳಿಂದ ಕಚಗುಳಿಯಿಟ್ಟು ತಟ್ಟಿ ಮುದ್ದಾಡುತ್ತೇವೆ
ಅಪ್ಪುತ್ತೇವೆ, ಆವರಿಸುತ್ತೇವೆ, ಆಧಾರವೂ ಆಗುತ್ತೇವೆ

ಈ ಬಳ್ಳಿ ಮರದ ಆಟದಲ್ಲಿ, ಬಳ್ಳಿಯೋ ಮರವೋ ಹುಟ್ಟಿ
ಕಣ್ಣೆದುರಿಗೇ ದೊಡ್ಡದಾಗುತ್ತದೆ, ಶುರು ಮತ್ತೆ ಸಂಸಾರ
ಇದೇ ಅಲ್ಲವೇ ಆ ದೇವನಾಡುವ ವ್ಯಾಪಾರ

ನಿಮ್ಮ ಒರಟು ಕೈ ಕಾಲುಗಳಿಗೆ, ಒರಟು ಮನಗಳಿಗೆ
ಕಚಗುಳಿಯಿಡುವ ಸೂಕ್ಷ್ಮತೆಯಿಲ್ಲ, ನಾವು ಒಪ್ಪಿಕೊಳ್ಳುತ್ತೇವೆ
ನಿಮ್ಮ ಅವಿರತ ಸ್ಪೂರ್ತಿಯಾಗಿ, ಅಮೃತ ಬಳ್ಳಿಗಳಾಗುತ್ತೇವೆ

ನಾವೇನಾದರೂ ಸತ್ತುಹೋದರೆ, ಬೆತ್ತಲಾಗುತ್ತೀರ ನೀವು ಜಗದೆದುರು
ನಾವು ಮುಚ್ಚಿಟ್ಟ ಒಣ ಬೊಡ್ಡೆಗಳು ಗಾಯಗಳೆಲ್ಲ ಆಚೆಗೆ
ಆಧಾರ ತಪ್ಪಿದಂತಾಗಿ ಸೊರಗುತ್ತೀರ, ಕೊರಗುತ್ತೀರ, ನಲುಗುತ್ತೀರ

ನೀವೇನಾದರೂ ಸತ್ತುಹೋದರೆ, ಬೀಳಗೊಡುವುದಿಲ್ಲ ನಾವು
ನಮ್ಮ ಬಳ್ಳಿಗಳಲೇ ಸುತ್ತುಗಟ್ಟಿ, ಮನದೊಳಗೇ ಸ್ಥಾಪಿಸಿ ಮುಂದುವರಿಯುತ್ತೇವೆ
ಮಗನದೋ, ಮಗಳದೋ ಆಸರೆಗಂಟಿ

ಬಳ್ಳಿ, ಬದುಕು, ಕಾಯಿ, ಮರ, ನೆನ್ನೆ, ನಾಳೆಗಳ ಗೋಜಲು
ಈ ಸಂಸಾರ, ಸಮಾಜ, ನೆರೆ ಹೊರೆ, ಬಂಧು, ಬಳಗಗಳು
ಬಾಳ ಹಾದಿಯ ಅನಿವಾರ್ಯ ಪುಟಗಳು, ಕೆಲವೊಮ್ಮೆ ಪರ್ವಗಳು

ಭಾಶೇ

Myself

I am not made of stone or metal
I am made of butter and have a melting heart
I scream out of joy and not anger
I want to hold hands and walk, not fight

You call me a coward, I normally deny
Why should I anymore? I accept, I am afraid
I am not meant to be a warrior, a fighter
I want colors on my fingertips and not blood

Only emotion I carry is love
Red color, roses, evening beach walks
Winter designs of clouds in the sky
Sunsets, birds, river, breeze and rain

I am simple, uncomplicated, and transparent
Get me a gogappa or a cup of sweet corn
A walk in the evening, a small ice candy, am happy
My heart melts for a cup of strong coffee too

My eyes are meant to dream, ears for music
My hands for colors and feet for dance
Don’t make me lose my innocence and sweetness
Without which I am just not myself

BhaShe

Husband Stealer

Beware! Keep your husband away from me
I am a husband stealer

I know to play all types of cards, love, sex, sweetness
I have the charm, mind and the body
I make myself every man’s desire
I have taken oath to destroy loyalty

I can make myself a perfect fit for anybody
Be it, looking for beauty, intelligence or love
I always come as a complete package
Leaving every man needing for more

Don’t worry if you have dumb, rock husbands
I steal only the lively emotional husbands
The one’s who can value love and beauty
The one’s who want to rule intelligence and charm

My heart doesn’t melt for those wives tears
I am a born witch, I am as man’s desire
If you want to have him all, you better give it all
World has no dearth for stealers like me

BhaShe

This poem is dedicated to "her", my source of inspiration! :)

Bother

It bothers you only till you care

All the negligence in her eyes
She was my best friend just a while ago
Her jealousy started pricking me from all sides
My broken heart was relieved in your arms
Her porcupine stares doesn’t hurt anymore

You broke my heart and walked off
My soft heart filled with love and care
Tears drained out all my emotions
Now you are an abuse in my dictionary
I don’t bother and it won’t hurt anymore

In the arms of beloved, parents or alcohol
Tears roll out draining the pain
A smile gets lighted after all the rain
Someone else fills the emptiness created by another
Stop breaking your mind, it doesn’t bother anymore

BhaShe

Love is in the Air

What is falling in love, or what is love? Every time I use this term “love” so many names flash in my mind. Your name is one among that. When a relationship is by birth, then there is no complication as we know what it is and where we are landing. But life is not limited to people we know when we are born. So many interesting people we find in the journey of life that, we get attached to them and relate to them. We try and define every relations we establish and to put people in categories. Friends, enemies, close friends, boy/girls friends, lovers and life partners. In a lot of these relations we have I see an overlap and very thin lines between each other.

I always have this question what is loving someone? Is it deciding to stay with them always, sharing life, sharing part of life, or just sitting far but praying for their happiness. I have felt these feelings for different people at different part of times in my life, but still am looking for answers. These poems are written as I seek answers and opinions from around people.

Every time I hear your name
My heart beats raises up
Every time I think of you
I lose sleep & just see your face

I see your face in every face I see
And think you are here in front of me
I want and wish to get such surprise from you
I don’t know what this feeling is called

I forget myself listening to love songs
Do I think of you and me in the lyrics?
I stop and think what was I doing…
Am lost always thinking about you

Am I in love, have failed finding an answer
Is it crush, infatuation or momentary madness?
Hey! Dear, once help me find out
Help me find myself in you

Confusion:

Every time I think of you
I lose myself in memories
Is this love is a big question
What is love is another one

I have failed to answer the questions
I fail to name the feeling I have for you
I don’t dare to seek an answer now
Let it live the way it is now

We both are tied to whatever we have
Our decisions have taken over our freedom
Those limitless feelings raise and fall
Leaving me day dreaming of perfect picture

I don’t want to give up on this
You are my only source of happiness
I latch on to whatever little I get from you
I preserve all of them as they deserve it

How do I put limit to my feelings & thoughts
When my heart beat is linked to yours
I leave the decision part to time and destiny
As my own heart is not in my hands

BhaShe

Please leave your opinion and help me! Thanks

Lost in Love

I kept on sinking in the quick sand of your love
You were standing safe, stared for long and walked away!
My eyes were locked in yours, hands held high for help
You didn’t bother to help me or get help

We had some great days when in love
So many conversations, poems, full moon night outs
I was smelling love, seeing love, living love,
The whole world used to envy us, for what we have

I went mad in your love, reached heights
You started taking me for granted, ignoring me
The more I tried tightening my grip on you
The more you tried to get freed from me

You succeeded, I failed, I lost myself in love
You left me alone, to suffer, in whatever I had done to myself
They found my body in the quick sand
Burnt it, they forgot me, you moved on

You can still find me in the tears of beloveds’
In the scream of people lost love, in treatment centers
You can still find me in the eyes of young couples
In the dusk, in air and in the destroyed dreams of ours

BhaShe

Journey

Pack your bags my love, will miss you sweetheart

This is a journey inside a journey
A war within a war
At the turning point you are standing
You have to choose a way

Your conscious decision to leave something
People join and leave while you travel
Some say, they want to be with you, no matter what
Life is uncertain, change is only common

You left behind someone to join someone else
You were sure of your decision when you made it
This is another turning point, where I speak
Where I ask you to chose a path, with me or not

Pack your bags my love and leave me
If you have no more love for me, but love another
Don’t cheat me on my back and cause pain
I won’t ask you a question if you leave

I won’t ask you what she got that I don’t
I won’t cry and mess, or fight and hurt
Just don’t hurt me with you lies and fake smiles
We can behave like two mature individuals

I wish you luck and wish myself the same
Let our journey give us surprises
I will miss you for sure, for sharing my life for so long
But with a hope to have a better tomorrow.

BhaShe

Afraid of Falling for You

I turn down every chance to meet you
I am afraid I will fall in love
I rarely talk to you and have short talks
I am afraid I will fall for your sweet voice
I am afraid I will love your smile
And go mad about your attitude

I just sit far and watch you
Watch you spread the joy everywhere
Watch you, colorful human being
Loving, caring, sweet, soft being
Watch you smile, watch you talk
And hold myself back just to watch you

You come in my dreams and I day dream
Think of your charisma and beauty
Get afraid, I would fall for you
Divert my mind and get busy
But your personality has left an impression
You always stay in my heart

Is it fine if I fall for you?
Will you be able to digest this?
I do not want to become tears in your eyes
All I want is to see you happy always
I stand in shadow and watch you always
Pray for your happiness and hope to see you always


BhaShe

अकेली पड जाती हूँ

बारह तेरह घंटे काम के बाद
laptop के बैग उठा के घर जाते वक़्त
घर का ताला खोल के अन्दर जाने के बाद
अकेली पड़ जाती हूँ


खुद के सपनो के साथ पापा के सपने
सब एक के बाद एक तोड़ने के बाद
जब गुजरे और आने वाले कल के बारे में सोचती हूँ
अकेली पड़ जाती हूँ


ग़मों के यादों में जब खो जाती हूँ
जब अजीब सा दर्द उठता है दिल में
आखों से पानी टपकने लगता है
में अकेली पड जाती हूँ


भीख मांगती हूँ एक मुस्कान के लिए
रोती हूँ, हँसती हूँ, खुद से बात करती हूँ
अकेलापन दूर करने की कोशिश करते-करते
मैं फिर से अकेली पड़ जाती हूँ

भाशे

Love(less) Story

Staying together to share our love
Got into the marriage bond, social security
In the initial days everything was colorful
Love but nothing, it was life

Late work hours, crushes, flirts
Taking for granted, fights, silences
Days, weeks, months, pass by easily
Life is getting faded, dull and boring

We are no more as close as we were
The reservoir of love is getting drained
Priorities have changed, so do feelings
Chemistry, physics, biology, nothing’s working

I don’t dare to think of tomorrow, it’s scary
Am not able to work on it today, am busy
Hope we both realize the value of each other in life
Before we lose both love and life in our lives.

BhaShe

Living in Love

Loving someone just inside your heart
No confession, no proposal, no commitments
Keep thinking, praying, dreaming
Just keep loving someone inside ones heart

No expectations, no demands
Being happy with whatever bits one gets
No force, no emotion, showing nothing out
Just lighting up every day for that person

Is it possible to spend a lifetime
Always dreaming about the one you love
Making your heart go crazy in dreams
And not expressing, not expecting

Unconditional, unintentional pure love
Read in fairy tales, love stories
Is it possible to live a life in love?
I seek answers from all around

BhaShe

castle

You are a colorful castle
Mesmerizing from outside
Attractive and very strong
Every queen wants to own you
They feel safe being inside you

So many secrets hid behind those closed doors
Kings and queens get in to puzzles to find the key
You have mysteries surrounding you
They want to know you, want to open your doors
The keys are never found and seem lost in history

Some say you are a human, or a ghost
Locked yourself up in your own heart
Showing the old glorious face outside
But hiding the pain and suffering inside
You stink because of the air locked in you

You haven’t seen sunlight for years and decades
Lot of untold stories still whisper inside
People keep trying to break the curse and find the key
They keep falling in love with you
You remain, as you were, closed and strong

BhaShe

Creative People

We creative people
We are never satisfied
Always wanting to make things better

Every time we create a master piece
We run behind creating another one
For our thirst, there is no end

Every time we set a mile stone
We want to add another feather to our hat
Always wanting to be unique and special

Our desires in life also never end
Always want to have encouraging attention
Eager for greater recognitions

Sometimes so confused by the charms of life
Having no limits to love and cheer
Cross our boundaries and extend limits

Wandering for true love always
Seeking it from all incoming sources
Basing our inspirations on those love

We love a lot and we seek for lot more love
We hurt easily, but get hurt even more easily
Sensitive, cranky yet lovable, the ‘creative people’

BhaShe

Just recovered

Just recovered from the pain caused by you
It took hundreds’ of hours and liters of tears
Hours of consoling from friends
Looking from the other side of the river
Grass looks the same, realization

You don’t even have a hint of what I have been through
The same smile lingers on your face
You are always seen, without wanting to
I try and hold back to the state I have arrived
Your presence is disturbing

Guess! I should thank you, for
Making me realize how cruel this world is
Why not to trust people
How painful betrayal is
You taught me great lessons of life

I am trying to make myself happy
Bring the normalcy back to me
Collecting bits and pieces of myself, from around
Putting back myself, which you destroyed
Believing that the pain is making me stronger and wiser

BhaShe

Laughter

One gloomy afternoon

Just after food, nothing to do,

This question popped up in my mind

“With whom do I most laugh with?”



I make fun, of myself mostly

Pull leg and be a joke, make others laugh

Laugh with them for being a joke

I spread laughter, I laugh with myself



When am covered with sadness and pain

Lost my smile in the flood of tension, in drain

Is there anyone who gets bothered

Who would want to light up the smile and lighten my mood



I struggled a lot to list out few names

This just told me how single and lonely I am

Adding bit more sadness and pain to my bad mood

With a sigh and dull face I got back to life.


BhaShe

Typical Indian Wife

This thought came, while I was thinking about someone, who is more like Krishna in his lifestyle. He is attractive, charming and girls fall for him very easily. He is married and knows his life. Even married females fall for him. This detail that married females fall for him, made me think a little deeper about a females life. It has become common now that irrespective of being married, people are falling in love. They are seeking something, be it emotional, physical or financial, but something from outside. I have heard many such cases and have been thinking about it for long.

Now-a-days we girls fight for equality and freedom and for every other thing. We earn and have seen the world as much as a guy. We define our rules and live by them. Love marriages have increased and so is the divorce rate. Financial independence and current social system has given women all support to be her own.

I used to see my grandmother touch my grandfather’s feet every morning before getting out of bed. I saw her do this till the day grandpa died. My mom, falls on to my dad’s feet only at festivals and some special occasions. I fell on to my husband’s feet only at my wedding and after that I never did. What I am trying to show here is that the progression of equality feeling. I cannot or may not be able to see God in my husband as my granny did in hers.

If we are looking at the spiritual nature of the human beings I listed above, granny had her own way, mom has her and I am trying to find mine. The more we are getting educated and freed, the more confused we are when it comes to being spiritual and understanding life.

Probably, some 80 – 100 years ago, when girls used to get married at early ages, they had less knowledge about life and guess been less confused. Ignorance was bliss in disguise for them. Guess, they would think their husband as god and with the “Samaprpan” feeling they would do all “seva” (service) to them. Personalizing God in the form of husband and gaining “mukti” because of it sounds easy.

Just imagine having God as husband: be happy to see him every morning, touch his feet with great “bhakti” and do all his “seva” as he pleases. Prepare food for him, take care of his kids, do everything as an order of the god and still keep the mind detached from all the household works. Does sounds very simple isn’t it?

He would be the only man in her life, no love, no extra marital affairs, nothing. Living a life just to take care of the god, who is in the form of husband. I guess this kind of life with a real spiritual husband would lead to mukti for sure.

Today, being responsible for all the activities one does and still be detached from it sounds so tough. Office, house, all love affairs one had, all set of attractions, so many temptations in front of one, that people have forgotten some of the greatest ways of achieving mukti.

I get jealous of those gopikas’ who could just see god in front of them and love him unconditionally and be his always. This form of unconditional love gave them what they seek… calmness and peace of mind. I also feel jealous of those typical Indian wives of old ages, who would have done everything as seva to god and would have had a very selfless life.

Being selfless, being detached and having the feeling that what ever is been done from us, are as per the orders of God and we are just means to fulfill his wish, is said to be one of the greatest ways to lead a life. In today’s tensions, responsibilities and all other earthy feelings, even thinking of having such a life sounds so impossible. Sometimes, I wish I was ignorant like those gopikas’ or the typical Indian wives of early ages, where I could just do all my work and still have my feet on the ground all the time.

I cannot go back in time or cannot change the way I feel for my husband. I can’t call him god because I am knowledgeable enough to find his mistakes and fight with him. Guess I have to struggle really hard to have a personalization of god in a human form and do everything as they please. Seeing today’s Guru’s and situations of Math’s, treating them as god has also become impossible. Due to our greed, we have lost the easiest way to reach god.

I reach back to all books I could find, read them and try my best to be what I want to be. “I do not want to know how my future is going to be, because know I will build it the way I want it to be”. On this note, I say bye till my next post.

BhaShe

Risking in Rain

1. Drinking water while traveling in rainy season

I left Bangalore on Saturday, 14th August 2010, to go to my native. After the ‘Nagara Panchami” festival, I have had many ‘kadubu’s, 2 -3 rounds of coffee and enormous amount of water. My aunt, from whose place I left, asked me several times, if I am going to get down in the journey to pee. I, with great amount of confidence said, no aunt, it’s just a 6 + 1 hour journey and I don’t go out. She was concerned because I was carrying my office laptop. Obvious, one has to be cautious when they are carrying such things.

When I reached kempegowda bus station, I thought of emptying by bladder once, but then, as I had to get inside the bus stop and do, as a bus was ready to leave, which will make me cover 230 km’s of my journey of 252, I canceled the plan and went and sat in the bus.

By the time I reached the next stop, I felt my tank getting filled very fast, and felt the necessity to empty it. After crossing about 100 kms, bus stops for a while for tea, lunch, whatever that is appropriate at that time. I ran out of the bus, with my laptop in to the toilet, emptied my tank and came out with ‘ah!’ on my face.
The moment I emptied my tank, I started feeling thirsty, so bought some cucumber, a bottle of maaza and some chips and went back to my seat. Cucumber was really good, had all the junk I carried and started drinking maaza.

After traveling about 100 km’s, my brain started receiving signals about the requirement to empty my tank again. I had to get down from the bus in about 35 kms, and which will leave me 22 kms away from my native. I thanked God and every other thing, that I did not get a direct bus, which would have put me in impossible situations. I was sure that I will not be able to control for 22 more kms having all sorts of ups and downs and twists and turns on the road.

I got out of the bus, but for my shock the bus stations was demolished and so was the toilet. Bus station was now moved to a college ground. I was devastated. Where am I going to go? I have to travel 22 kms, and I don’t know when the bus will come, and I have to empty my tank ASAP.

Otherwise, I was sure some public embarrassment would happen. Have you watched the SATC – The Movie? – do you remember that lady who poops in her pant in front of her friends? I was imagining myself in that situation with a difference that I would be peeing and would be facing 50+ strangers. This thought itself drove me to search for a toilet.

Went to a girl standing close by and asked her, if she knows about any place where I can go and empty. She said she does not know. As it was a college ground, I asked her if the college would have one. She said try your luck.

I walked across the field and went inside. It was a Saturday evening, and on top of that a festival day. Whom do you expect in a college? Probably no one…
For my surprise, a room was open and 2 guys were sitting taking some printouts. I went inside like a storm and the only words came out of my mouth was, ‘is there a toilet nearby?’ They looked at each others face out shock. Guess I am the only girl they have met in their life who asked this question to them on face, without any hesitation. I repeated the question and one of them showed me where it is.

Way to the heaven was shown. I left my entire luggage in that room and asked them to watch till I come back. ‘Ah!’ again. Came out with a smile of relief and thanked them. The shock on their face was still intact even when I was walking out.

Next bus, 22 kms to my home… it rained heavily on the way and I needed a very warm welcome. Hot water in the “bachhalu hande” and tasty food from mom’s hand, did give me a warm welcome.

I just decided on 2 things. 1. Will never boast that I can hold on without emptying and 2. Will never drink too much water, or have food that contains too much water content when planning to travel.


2. Traveling 12 kms on the bike, with laptop, in rain

Yeah! Did I say I took off and went home? Actually there was a promise made to my boss to take this off, that I would be available on mail if required. I carried the network card, but it did not work in my native. The only option I had was to travel to the close by taluk HQ and check if net works there. My bad luck it did not work there too. All these testing I finished on Sunday itself, so that I can make a plan for Monday. Now the last option was to use net in cyber café.

Monday evening went alone to HQ, and started working. Few calls made, mails checked, and work finished. For us, Bangaloreans, 8:00 pm is just evening, but at a village like mine, it’s night. Dad called up 10 times to check when I am leaving and how I am going to come and all that. Thankfully my cousin joined me there and parents were happy about the safe journey I am going to have.

To avoid this, I decided to start early, the next day. My cousin also wanted to join, so he suggested we would go in bike and come back. I wore my dad’s water proof jacket and pant, put my laptop in a big plastic cover and sat behind him. The moment we left, it started raining.

This journey, where the rain drops were hitting my face really hard and am having 2 mobiles, a laptop to protect from water, was one of the best travels I have had in rain. I was not able to open my eyes and my eyes were burning.

After reaching HQ, I started my work and my cousin went to finish his work. I had a call at 4:30 PM and at 4:00 PM my bladder started giving signals to empty my tank. Oh! God! Where am I going to go? I have a call and am sitting in a cyber café where no such facilities are available.

I asked the café owner, he suggested that I should reach to the hotel nearby and ask. I ran to that place, and thankfully they had a toilet. I was back to the café with all my concentration only on the call and nothing else.

In rainy season, whenever I leave home, empty the tank and then move – very strong lesson learnt. (In Bangalore you will find 100 places and ways to manage this, but in villages, unless you are ready to do the “road side thing”, one will have tough times finding toilets)


3. Climbing up a guava tree

Nothing about emptying tank here…it’s all about filling the tank.
In my doddamma’s house, they have this beautiful guava tree which produces very sweet and tasty guava fruits. Guava trees are normally very slippery and they get very risky in rainy season. This tree which was full of fruits was very tempting and I wanted to climb up.

Dad climbed first and he picked many fruits for me and he came back. I ate 2 – 3 fruits and then decided to go up on the tree, pluck some fruit and have it on top. That gives a very different feeling. Have you ever climbed up a tree? And had a fruit sitting on top of it?

It was after long time I was climbing. I was so very happy and excited. One, two, three, branches climbed and yes! If not on top of the world, at least I was on top of the tree. Had a fruit standing there looking at the lush greenery around, my cousin took some pictures of mine, standing on top, (I don’t know when I will get the chance to climb a tree again) climbed down.

My native is a small little dreamland for me, where whatever I do is accepted and enjoyed. I shouted out loud standing in the midst of paddy field, laughed out loud with my dad and mom and got drenched in rain. Had cramps all over my legs due to cold weather and enjoyed that pain.

Back to reality, sitting and thinking about the great days I had and writing about it, so that I can share it with you.
Thanks for reading.

BhaShe

Desperate

You told clearly, you won’t come back
For every noise at the door, my heart beat raises
I think you have come, I expect you

You have no interest in me
Neither am in your list of priorities
I still am madly in love with you

Use me like a tissue paper at least
I will live for the rest of my life with joy
With the satisfaction of being yours for a while

Give me pain, give me a wound
Give me a reason to live this life
Without you, this life makes no sense

Now I am living, hoping you will come back
Dreaming of having a life with you
Praying to God, to see your face once more in my life.

BhaShe

Calendar Item

You are a very organized man
I am an item in your calendar

You get to home every night at 11:00
Wash face at 11:10
Get changed in 10 minutes
And be back in the living room

Read news for 10 minutes
Eat food in 20 minutes
Walk around for 10 mins having a fruit
Wait for me in the bedroom at 12:00

No talk, no laugh
Kiss me at 12:02
Say good night and
Get back to your lap top at 12:05

I am an item in your calendar
Taking 5 mins of yours and few kisses
I married you and I raise your kids
And I am called your “wife”

BhaShe

Handful of Love

Oh! Dear life,
All I ask from you is a handful of love

When those wind blows at its highest speed
And I tremble to face it and walk through
All I need is a handful of love
To give me strength to pass on

In the rain of pains, stones and troubles
I won’t look for shelter, nor for umbrella
All I need is a handful of love
To give me support to live till sunshine

When my loved ones eyes are wet with tears
Don’t give me money, don’t give me power
All I need is a handful of love
To be with them and to light up a smile

Money, power and every other thing
Has no value if no love in life
I won’t ask for more, just a handful of love
Always in my life, to call this living a ‘life’.

BhaShe

Detachment

I have to overcome you
I have to pass through you
You are an infinite attraction
I have to detach myself from you

You are very colorful and soothing
Anyone would want to have you for them
You are very consoling and protecting
Everyone wants to be in your arms

You have the capacity to make people your slaves
They beg you, plead you, lose their mind
You have the will to make people dance to your tunes
They die wanting you, needing you, deprived of you

I know I love you, I have realized it lately
I do not want to love you, my cautious decision
I reach out to books, to people to help me pass
Help me get detached from you

You can be as mild as a lamb,
You can be as strong as a lion
It’s now my will and my decision to stay far
To get detached from all sorts of attachments towards you

BhaShe

ಗರ್ಭಪಾತ

ಹೊಟ್ಟೆಯಲಿ ಹುಟ್ಟಿದ್ದ ಕನಸೊಂದು ಕಸವಾಗಿ ಕಮರಿಹೊಯ್ತು
ಅದಿತ್ತಿದ್ದ ನಿರೀಕ್ಷೆ, ಭರವಸೆಗಳೆಲ್ಲ ಬಸಿದುಹೋಯ್ತು

ಕೈಯಲ್ಲಿದ್ದ ಮದರಂಗಿಯ ಕೆಂಪು ಆರುವ ಮುನ್ನ
ಕಣ್ಣಲ್ಲಿ ಹೊಸತೊಂದು ಆಸೆ ಬೆಳೆದಿತ್ತು, ನಲಿದಿತ್ತು
ಮನದೊಡೆಯನ ಪ್ರೀತಿ ಸುರಿದಿತ್ತು ಮಳೆಯಾಗಿ
ಹರಿದಿತ್ತು ಹೊಳೆಯಾಗಿ, ತುಂಬಿಸಿ ನನ್ನೊಡಲ

ಒಂದೊಂದೇ ಆಸೆಗಳ ಎತ್ತಿಟ್ಟು ಕಾದಿದ್ದೆ
ಖುಷಿಯ ಹೊನಲು ಹರಿದಿತ್ತು ಗೀಟುಗಳೆರಡು ಮೂಡಿದಾಗ
ಸ್ವರ್ಗಕ್ಕೆ ಮೂರೇ ಗೇಣು ಇನಿಯನ ಕಿವಿಯಲಿದ ಒಸರುವಾಗ
ಸ್ವರ್ಗವೇ ಧರೆಗಿಳಿದಿತ್ತು ಅವನ ಕಣ್ಣಲಿ ಸಂತೋಷ ಉಕ್ಕಿ ಹರಿದಾಗ

ಒಂದಿಷ್ಟು ಇರಿಸು ಮುರಿಸು, ಹಿಂಜರಿಕೆ, ಗೊಂದಲ
ನಾಳೆಗಳ ಕನಸುಗಳು ಹೊಳೆಯಾಗಿ ಹರಿದಿದ್ದವು
ಮೈದುಂಬಿ, ಮನದುಂಬಿ, ಕಣ್ದುಂಬಿ ನಲಿದಿದ್ದೆ
ಸಂತೋಷವೆಂಬ ಪದಕ್ಕೂ ಅಸೂಯೆ ಬರುವಂತೆ

ವಿದಿರಚಿಸಿತ್ತು ಈ ಸಂತೋಷವ ಕೀಳುವ ಹೂಟ
ಅವಘಡಕ್ಕೆ ಸಿಕ್ಕಿ ಬಲಿಯಾಗಿತ್ತು ಕನಸುಗಳ ಮಹಲು
ಸೂತಕದ ಛಾಯೆ ಇನ್ನೂ ಇಳಿದಿಲ್ಲ ಮುಖದಿಂದ
ಭರವಸೆಗಳೇ ಬಂದೆನ್ನ ಖಾಲಿಯೆದೆಯ ತುಂಬಿ

ಭಾಶೇ

Big Banyan Tree

You are a big banyan tree
Am a tiny little parrot
I don’t have my nest on you
But I regularly rest on you

I fly a lot, looking for food
Your branches are my stops
I fly high, every day
Your shadow helps me rest

The humble hug you give, when I am tired
Removes all the pain in every vain
Your smile, talk and breeze
Makes me relaxed and gives me energy

You are a big banyan tree
Don’t know if you know me or not
I am a tiny little parrot
Loving you and needing you all the time

You see may many birds like me
But for me, you always make a difference
Though I fly and see many trees
None of them are as homely as you are

You are a big banyan tree
I am a tiny little parrot
You mean a lot to me always
I will love you and need you in all the ways!

BhaShe

Soul Search

When I was in my +2 classes and 1st year of graduation, this question normally used to hang around in my thoughts, ‘why am I here?’ We all take birth, study, earn and die, but what is the purpose of this whole journey? Why have we been created and what are we supposed to do?

When I got in to 2nd year or so in my graduation, I had found a goal, though temporary, to do MBA. Money, monitory benefits, having a loving partner took over the space I had for these quests.
I was lost in finding my way out, doing higher studies, and in the meanwhile found a loving partner and now, today, I am a happily married lady.

This question of setting a new goal in life kept on coming, the date I joined my job. ‘Joining a good job goal’ was ticked off that day and then I was open for another goal. Marriage became my next priority as I had already found a loving partner. After being married for an year, now am looking to set another goal.

I had been thinking of joining dance classes, or studying law, or M. A. in Kannada or Psychology and all that for a while, but that also would end up being a short term goal. What next is the biggest question I face majority of the times… so what next?

Reading books has been one of my hobbies. While doing my graduation, I have read some books about Sri. Ramakrishna Paramhamsa written by his disciples. I have always been having an attraction towards these kind of books and I have read a few. Those memories are hunting me down now and I am dragged back to those days where my only goal was to find myself. I am strongly haunted by those thoughts now and looking for a way out!

Suddenly a craving has now raised to read ‘Bhagavad Gita’. I am looking for a copy where they have given the Shloka’s and the meaning of it. Not sure where to buy and which one to buy!

Spirituality has been part of my life since childhood. Guess, by the pressure of life, or by the colors of material stuff around me, my interest or craving for spiritual fulfillment had gone covered. Now some serious thinking, which was forced on me, is leading me to think in those terms again and that need is raising again.

I also get a doubt, if am doing some escaping action by taking a refuge under those books and thoughts. Not very sure if am running away, also not very sure from what I have to run away. So hopefully it's not a escaping trick.

Hoping for a safe landing.

BhaShe

Going "On Air with Kenny Jones"

Yes Pals!
I was on air with Kenny Jones on the official morning show of the planet earth on Radio Indigo 91.9.

Background:
I transport to office in BMTC every day. Between 8:30 to 11:00, any time, 45 mins to an hour am in a bus, standing, sitting, or hanging on the doors on the foot board with nothing to do. So my best companion on the go are Radio stations in Bangalore. As I am a Kannadiga, I have the liberty to switch to any radio station, but my dials normally stop at 91.9.
I like the show Kenny does. It’s fun, it’s entertaining and he plays good music to light up your day.
This morning, on 30th of June 2010, when Kenny and Sriram picked up the topic ‘will you finish your dates plate if they don’t’, I was listening in.

On Air:
I dialed in those magical numbers ‘25502919’ curious and waiting to see if I get through. This line is busy lot of times (of course! It has to be). Oh! Its ringing… will they pick up? Oh! Yes! They picked it up and I hear Kenny’s attractive voice.
Damn! I am not prepared at all… I want to say, how much I like the show, they rock, I like Sriram’s wit, Kenny’s voice… no… none of this came out. I was excited and went clueless as to what to say! Bad!

So what did I actually say? I said a little hello… and went on to my take on the topic. Yes! I do finish my dates plate, as he has a habit of wasting food which I don’t like… so on and so forth. It was a nice little chat but it did lit up my day.

After effects:
Yes! I am having a hangover of the call, having a smile on my face. Had my dear friend Sam listen to this. Hey Kenny! that’s a nice pattern, record the conversation and play it a little late. I heard it and my dear friend Sam heard it too. We spoke later and had a blast. Am still smiling writing this post.

To Kenny:
I have a take on lot of things you guys discuss! I think majority of the listeners do have. I don’t like texting so I don’t do that. I tried calling up few times but couldn't’t go through. This special day, I am happy speaking to you. I liked that burp thing you added later. I would have done that if you had asked me to do so… lol. Thanks for having me on Air.

Off Air:
Music makes my day! This day, I have a very busy schedule post lunch at the office, am not sure if the smile that Kenny lit up will remain till the end. But I am sure it’s gonna light up again as am meeting a very special person and a bunch of loved ones in the late evening.
I just came up with a thought to keep oneself happy throughout the day. “give yourself a sweet something, a good news every morning, and light up that smile, and try and hold it the whole day” how does that sound now? I owe you Kenny!

Loving the day!

BhaShe

That's where I Belong

My branches are reaching the clouds
My laughter reaches miles
I have grown above my imagination
I have reached the stars and have come back

Words I speak are strong and effective
The way I speak and appear is influencing
I am been taken as a sample, role model
I set rules, I set standards

Gravitation has failed in pulling me down
Blowing wind cannot shake a hair of mine
I am resistant, I am strong, on my foot all the time
Sun, moon and the universe listens to me

I have the power, I have the last say,
I have the ability to turn things upside down
I am what I define, no boundaries
I am what I am capable of, no limitations

I am all this coz I have my roots strong
My roots go back to my parents and my native
That humble couple and the small village Gonibeedu
That’s where I belong, that’s where I come from
Only they have the power to keep me going or break me down.

BhaShe

Burnt Lips

Hello All, This thought struck me when I was thinking of a scenario where if someone by mistake keeps a cig other way around while smoking, how would it be to have their lips burnt.

Wrote one paragraph and it lead me further to complete the poem. Later the same first paragraph drove me to think in another front and made me write another poem, and yet another. Having the first paragraph same, 3 poems are written now.

Please go through all of them and tell me which one you like the most. Thank you. 

Burnt Lips – 1

My lips are burnt
Soft pink lips are now turned black, rough
Did not have a clue till I felt the fire
When my lips were locked with yours

Every time you touch, I explode
Rush in blood veins, I turn red
Every time you stare, I dissolve
I dissolve in to lava from iron

This is no small game, it’s a fight
Fight between you and me
I put everything I have for the fight
Every space we find becomes our battle field

No winning or losing here
It’s a life or death combat
All feelings turned in to weapons
And we battle till we die.

Burnt Lips – 2

My lips are burnt
Soft pink lips are now turned black, rough
Did not have a clue till I felt the fire
When my lips were locked with yours

I thought that was love
I carried the burning marks with pride
I lost my laugh for weeks in pain
Burning takes a minute, healing a month

You never kissed me again
Thought you were concerned
My lips just had few scars left
I was ready to get burnt again

This time your kiss, just didn’t burn me
Your lips were filled with poison
Now on my last breath I realize
It was hate not love you had.

Burnt Lips – 3

My lips are burnt
Soft pink lips are now turned black, rough
Did not have a clue till I felt the fire
When my lips were locked with yours

I knew it is passion which became fire
I was overwhelmed for the love you have
Your eyes were closed tight
I believed you have my image behind the closed eyes

You started getting rough day by day
I like a flower, was blossomed by your love
Loved you from the bottom of my heart
Took all pain you gave with smile

You whispered ‘her’ name when lost control
Your eyes were shut the way it used to be
I now know, why so passion and pain
You always had ‘her’ behind those closed eyes

My heart is now a broken mirror
I see your and ‘her’ face in every single piece
I cry blood in pain and devastation
Those scars keep reminding me of the betrayal

BhaShe

Irresistible

You knocked the door
Just at the moment I succeeded ignoring you
You were in front of me, with the same stupid smile
Favorite blue shirt and with those red rose bouquet
Wasting all my effort of knocking you off my system

You are smart, charming and lovable
I can’t stop myself from falling for you
You are charismatic and flirt
I can’t take the attraction you drive

I doubt all the promises you make
As you rarely implement any and break many
But I can’t resist agreeing to a promise when you make
You show such innocence and confidence

I hate majority of your qualities
Manipulation, flirtation and flaunting
Still I am attracted and attached
I cannot stop myself from loving you

I opened the door this time as well, as usual
You make new promises and shower new hopes
Happiness and joy of the moment is immeasurable
I cherish and get prepared for next fall out

BhaShe

Slave of Voice

I am a slave of his voice
While walking on the broken dreams of mine
I forget all the pain and pricking
As I get mesmerized by his voice

I forget that my dreams were broken by his command
I forget the prison I am into
I get carried away whenever he talks
I obey everything he says even if it’s destroying me

His voice is loud, attractive and sexy
His talk sounds like orders and commands with sweeteners
When I hear him, I hear nothing else
My identity is lost when am listening to him

His voice has become the soul of my life
I crave to listen to him every single minute of my life
I am enslaved by the charm of his voice
I am tuned, ruined and made poppet by his voice

BhaShe

Loyalty

Where is that line to be drawn?
Defining loyalty to your partner
Where does it go beyond harmless flirtation?
Where is that point at which thread to be cut?

Loyalty,
Is it an oath to preserve all your smiles only for your partner?
All complements only from partner to be respected and others banned?
Is it closing the human face of a human being?
Is it stopping oneself from being what they are?

Does it mean fighting with oneself when a bad dream throws up?
Tracking and taming one’s mind and every thought that gets developed?
Or is it just being what your partner wants you to be
And seeing only wrong things even when it’s just a smile?

Or,
Is it the ability to love a person with all his flaws?
Is it the capacity to share and bear someone in the rough patches of life?
Is it the freedom to share that little crush and attraction and laugh at it later?
Is it the bondage which ties one back to the partner at any situation?

I get curious, I want to know
How do you define your terms of loyalty
What importance is given and how strongly is it taken
And what happens if your lines are crossed!?

BhaShe

Joy of Life

It’s a joy to watch people laugh
When happiness and cheer spills out of their eyes
They scream out loud, showing their joy
They dance to the rhythm of happiness

I feel belonged, part of celebration
Scream and laugh, react from the heart
Feel the happiness from inside, for someone else
And forget everything else in the joy

Dance to the music of your heart sometimes
Forgetting the world where you live
Forget all feelings that tie you back
Close all holes where people watch you
Open all windows of your heart

Love the life you live, live the life you love
One life is very short for lies, faking and pretending
If you are frowning today, hoping for a happy tomorrow
You are losing the present, today, the gift of god
Bring a smile on your face, thinking of tomorrow.

BhaShe

Pure Dance Pleasure - So You Think You Can Dance

I have told a lot of times that like all forms of art. Dance is one in the list. I had interest in dance since I was a kid, but could not learn any forms due to lack of resourceful teachers.

I first saw this dance show in 2006. Season 2 was running at that time. I saw few additions series, and then did not continue watching it as they did many repeat telecast. Later, I think when the show was at the stage where only top 14 or 12 dancers were performing, and then I got back to watching the show again. Amazing! I was moved my all those dance styles, the ability of choreographers to tell stories in those dance routines, and those steps, moves, I became a fan of the show.

In the history of my life (I know am a little young to use these terms, still) this is the only program i have been following since 4 years, and I have never felt bored, not even in a single episode. This program gets first broadcasted in India, every Tuesday @ 9:00 pm and gets re-telecasted @ 11:00 pm or 12:00 midnight and again next Sunday at 4:00 pm. Sometimes the show is so good that I watch it all the 3 times.

Everything about this show is interesting and incredible. Stage, host, judges, format, everything is exceptional. Even someone, who does not know the alphabets of dancing, can sit and watch this show and get a feel of being well entertained all the time.

If you put 'So You Think You Can Dance' in google it throws out great amount of information. In social networking sites, many fan clubs for this show is available. Every season, new dancers, new dance styles, new choreographers, this show is entertainment at its best.

I have been thinking of writing about this great show in my blog since long time. This time, as the 100th episode of the show is getting broadcasted, I sit and write this post and thank all the creative heads who made such a great show and all creative choreographers and dancers, who have made the show as interesting as it is.

Broadcast in India is not in the format or in line with as it happens in US. We are normally one season back of the US and get to see the show like after an year's time. This has a possibility or chance of making the show a little less curious as you can get to know who is going to win. However, this has never made me lose interest in the show. This is like getting to know who will win the match but watching the match, but watching it later to enjoy it ball to ball will still be good.

I dream of going to the US, and then to Hollywood and watch this show, live, once in my life. I want to see those dance moves live through my eyes. If I ever get on to that stage, I may just die out of happiness. I have become such a fan.

Every Tuesday, I try my best to finish the work early and move home just to watch this show. A colleague of mine suggested to download the show episodes or buy them in cd's. I say, the excitement of watching it in a telecast will not be there when you have it all as a download or cd.

I wish this dance show goes on and on and I keep watching and enjoying it the way I do now.

I LOVE SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE.

Cheers!

BhaShe

ನೆನ್ನೆ ಸಂಜೆ - कल शाम

ಮಬ್ಬುಗತ್ತಲು
ಬಸ್ ಸ್ಟಾಪಿನಲ್ಲಿ ಒಬ್ಬಳೇ ನಿಂತಿದ್ದೆ
ಸುರಿದ ಮಳೆಗೆ ರಸ್ತೆಯೆಲ್ಲ ಒದ್ದೆಯಾಗಿತ್ತು
ಮರದ ಎಲೆಗಳಿಂದ ಹನಿಗಳಿನ್ನೂ ಬೀಳುತ್ತಿದ್ದವು
ಕೊಚ್ಚೆ ನೀರಿಗೆ ಸಿಗದಂತೆ ನಿಂತಿದ್ದೆ ಕಾಯುತ್ತಾ ಬಸ್ಸಿಗೆ

ಲೈಟ್ ಹಾಕಿ ಕೆಲವು, ಹಾಕದೆ ಕೆಲವು ಬಸ್ಸು ಬಂದವು, ಹೋದವು
ಬೀದಿ ದೀಪದ ಬೆಳಕಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ
ಕಣ್ಣು ಕಿರಿದಾಗಿಸಿ ಬೋರ್ಡು ಓದಿ ಕೈ ಅಡ್ಡ ಹಿಡಿದಿದ್ದೆ ಎಲ್ಲವಕು
ಯಾವೂ ನಿಲ್ಲಿಸಲಿಲ್ಲ! ಎಲ್ಲವೂ ನನ್ನ ಗಮ್ಯವ ದಾಟುವವೇ
ಇದೇನಿದು ವಿಚಿತ್ರ ಇಂದು? ಯೋಚನೆಗೀಡಾಗಿದ್ದೆ

ಛತ್ರಿಯಿಲ್ಲದೆ ಮಳೆಗೆ ಸಿಗುವ ಗಾಬರಿ ಬೇರೆ ಮನದಲ್ಲಿ
ಬಸ್ಸು ಬಿಟ್ಟು ಬೇರಾವುದೇ ವಾಹನಗಳ ಸುಳಿವಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ ರಸ್ತೆಯಲಿ
ಜೋರು ಮಳೆಯ ಶನಿವಾರದ ಸಂಜೆ, ಯಾರಾದರು ರಸ್ತೆಗ್ಯಾಕೆ ಇಳಿದಾರು?
ಮತ್ತೆ ನಾಲ್ಕು ಬಸ್ಸುಗಳು ನನ್ನ ಇರುವ ಗಮನಿಸದೆ ಸಾಗಿದವು
ನಿಲ್ದಾಣದಲ್ಲಿ ಸಹಪ್ರಯಾಣಿಕರಾದರು ಬರಲಿ, ಮನದ ಬಯಕೆ

ನೆನ್ನೆವರೆಗೂ ಕಂಡಾಗೆಲ್ಲ ಕಾಡಿಸುತ್ತಿದ್ದ ಕಾಮಣ್ಣ ಹಾಜರಾಗಬೇಕೆ?
ಸಂಜೆ, ಒಂಟಿ ನಾನು, ಮಳೆ ಬಂದ ಭೂಮಿ, ಮನ ನಡುಗಿತ್ತು
ಅವನ ಸಿಳ್ಳು, ಮಾತುಗಳ ಮಳೆ ಸುರಿಯಲಿಲ್ಲ ಎಂದಿನಂತೆ, ನಾನು ದಂಗಾದೆ
ಅವನ ಕಡೆಗೆ ನಾಲ್ಕು ಬಾರಿ ನೋಡಿ ಸುಮ್ಮನಾದೆ
ಮರೆತೇ ಹೋಗಿತ್ತು, ನೆನ್ನೆ ನಾನು ಕರೆಂಟು ತಗುಲಿ ಸತ್ತುಹೋಗಿದ್ದು
ಮತ್ತೆ ಬಸ್ಸಿಗೆ ಕಾಯುವ ಹಂಗ್ಯಾಕೆಂದು ಗಾಳಿಯಲಿ ತೇಲುತ್ತಾ ಸಾಗಿದೆ.

ಭಾಶೇ


कल शाम

साँझ था,
बस स्टॉप पर अकेली खड़ी थी.
बारिश से रास्ता गीला था
पेड़ों के पत्तों से पानी की बूंदें टपक रही थी
कीचड़ से बचते में बस के इंतजार में खड़ी थी.

कुछ बसें लाइट जलाये कुछ बिन जलाये आई और चली गयी
बिजली के खम्बों पर भी लाइट नहीं थी,
धुंधले से प्रकाश में बोर्ड पढ़ हर बस को रोका था मैंने
किसी ने भी नहीं रोका, सब मेरे गम्य की तरफ ही जा रहे थे
ये क्या अजीब है आज! सोच में पड़ गई.

बिना छाता के बारिश में फंसने का डर था मन में
बस के सिवा कोई ओर वाहन नहीं था रस्ते में
जोर बारिश की शनिवार की शाम थी रस्ते में क्यों कोई आता
फिर से चार बस मुझे बिन देखे चले गई
स्टॉप पर कोई सह यात्री तो आ जाये... मन की आशा

हमेशा छेड़ने वाले सड़क छाप हाजिर हो गया
शाम, अकेली मैं, भीगा हुई रस्ता, मन डर गया
उसकी सीटी, बातों की बारिश शुरू नहीं हुई मैं चौंक गयी!
चार बार उसकी तरफ देख कर चुप हो गयी
भूल ही गयी थी, कल मैं बिजली छू के मर गयी थी

भाशे

Castle

I put my heart and soul in building the sand castle
One strong wave washes it all away
I try and retain some sculptures
Till my energy dies, then I walk back home

Ruined castle haunts me in my dreams
The stories I built around the castle
About the king, about the queen
About their love, war and untold mysteries

I become a part of the castle play,
I play all parts, I am the king, and I am the servant
In the nights, the waves provide the music
Stars my audience and rocks my stage

Sun and moon started talking about the play
Castle now builds on its own
This time it is strong to withstand tsunami
It’s wide enough to accommodate the sky

The waves once ruined my castle, now wash my feet gently
The castle once haunted me, now brings colors to my dreams
With respect, pleasure and pride I stand on the rocks
Watching my castle grow, stand and smile.

BhaShe

Addiction

Every time I cut that thread which binds us
You stretch your arms in my dreams
I come to you, wanting you, loving you

I fight with myself to pull myself out
Out of attachments towards you
I fall deep, I feel more belonged

I am destroyed, ruined, helpless
Lost control and desperate
Your arms have brought me here

I tear off everything and scream loud
I pull myself to get out of your control
You tighten your arms and I fail

I want you is no more, I am addicted to you
You are a poison, I know, still I can’t stop myself
I know you won’t let me go till I turn into ashes.

BhaShe

Letter to a Known Stranger

Dear Stranger,

I am not sure what you will feel after reading this, but what to do? I was not able to resist myself from writing this. I wanted to know from you if I over did something that has stopped you from being what you are?

You are different and I felt it the first day we met. In that filled compartment where I was all surrounded by my family members, relatives and friends, but I was feeling so lonely. None of them found that out. Your eyes caught it the first time you saw me. Even after having so many my people around me my mouth was shut. We just saw each other and I turned my face. Am sure you were looking at me for some time at-least. That’s the reason you still remember me and smiled at me this time.

I liked you in the first look but I was so depressed that day that I never said anything. We continued the journey, you got down first and I missed you till I reached my destination.

Life went on. I never thought I would ever meet you again. I always wanted to meet you and was not sure as I never took any contact details. I dreamt of you meeting me again and making me smile. I felt that you may be able to give me such comfort.

4 years passed and there I was, post graduate, with a job in hand and enough energy and smile to light up the whole world. Life changed me from an introvert to an extrovert. I somehow always attributed that quality of mine to you and gave you the credit for whatever I became. I know you would think that this is so irrelevant and mindless but I felt happy giving you the credit. I felt satisfied doing so.

This time when I met you, though you recognized and smiled at me the feeling of surprise was clearly visible on your face. I think even you never thought that you would meet me again and not for sure with such bright colours. I was all happy and waved my hand when I saw you. I should thank that train.

We spoke this time and we spoke a lot. I told you everything that was there in my heart. I think the saying that only in front of strangers you can empty yourself is so true. I spoke everything and you were all ears to listen. Though the journey was very short it was very sweet and memorable.

This time we exchanged contact details and promised each other that we would write or text. I was happy and thrilled to meet you again. We departed on the railway station taking two different directions.

I was not able to call you or write you for 5 – 6 days as I got lost in some personal work. However influenced by your charming personality I wrote poems on you and was eager to show them to you. I was influenced by you. Here is the poem I wrote for you:

You are always noticed... you are not like them
They are always lost in doing their profit and loss accounts
And you counted smiles and cared for tears

You are always admired... you deserve it
You keep the human being inside you always alive
They live with dead faces

You care and you show you care
You identify people by what they are and not by what you want to see in them
It fills up the identity need

Truthfulness spills out of your eyes
Concern out of every word you speak
People keep their heart open and share secrets with you

You know when to be ears, when to be silent
You know when to crack that joke and pull a leg
You are new age Krishna spreading joy all around

I wish to fine more people like you... more human beings
Who make this world a better place to live
Who donate smile and wipe others tears

Hope you remember reading this poem on the first mail I sent.
I was so excited to have a means to reach you whenever I was down or breaking or feeling low. I felt that you are going to be my source of inspiration always. I showed all my excitement and happiness when I wrote you the first time.

Was that a little too much of happiness and belongingness shown on a stranger? Did I over do it?

You never replied to that mail of mine. Whenever I tried your number it said out of coverage area. I thought that you might be traveling and because of which you were not reachable. So many days passed, now my hope started dying. I thought I had found a treasure, a true great friend, an always trustworthy person but I now I feel I have gone terribly wrong.

You never replied to any of those mails of mine, nor picked my calls or replied to my messages. My dream of having you as a great friend of mine is not shattered. I clearly understand you are avoiding me.

Here, by putting all these words in this letter all I want to tell you is that, I did not expect anything from you other than care and concern. I don’t have any feelings other than being a friend of yours. You have shown disrespect to such pure feelings of mine but I forgive you. I still attribute my success to you and hope to hear from you soon.

I thank you for whatever you were to me and hope to see you again. I hope this letter of mine reaches you.

Anonymous

ಹೂವ ಹಿಡಿವ ಆಟ

ಬೇಸಿಗೆಯ ಬಿಸಿಲು ಮರಗಳಿಗೆ ಬಣ್ಣ ಬಳಿದಿತ್ತು
ಮರವು ಹೂವಾಗಿತ್ತು ಮರವು ಹಾಡಾಗಿತ್ತು
ನೆನ್ನೆ ಹೂವಾದ ಹೂವುಗಳು ಇಂದು ಭೂಮಿಗೆ ಮುತ್ತಿಕ್ಕಲು
ಗಾಳಿಯಲಿ ತೇಲುತ್ತ ಭೂಮಿಗಿಳಿದಿದ್ದವು ಮಣ್ಣಾಗಿದ್ದವು
ಹಾಗೆ ಹಾರಿದ ಹತ್ತು ಹಲವು ಹೂಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ಕೆಲವು ಮಾತ್ರ
ಆ ಹೂವಿನ ಲಂಗದ ಹುಡುಗಿಯ ಕೈಯೊಳಗಿದ್ದವು

ನೆನ್ನೆ ನಾಳೆಗಳ ಚಿಂತೆಯಿಲ್ಲದ ಆ ಪುಟ್ಟ ಹುಡುಗಿ
ಬೆಳ್ಳಂಬೆಳಗೇ ಹೊಸದೊಂದು ಆಟ ಹುಡುಕಿತ್ತು
ಮರದಿಂದ ಭೂಮಿಗುದುರುವ ಹೂಗಳ ಹಿಡಿವ ಆಟ
ತನ್ನ ಪುಟ್ಟ ಬೊಗಸೆಯೊಡ್ಡಿ ಗಾಳಿಯಂತೆ ಸುಳಿದು
ತೇಲಿ ಬರುತ್ತಿದ್ದ ಒಂದೊಂದೇ ಹೂಗಳ ಹಿಡಿಯುತ್ತಿತ್ತು
ಬೊಗಸೆ ತುಂಬಿದಂತೆ ಕಟ್ಟೆಗೋಡಿ ಗುಡ್ಡೆ ಹಾಕುತಿತ್ತು

ಹಾರಿ ಬಂದು ಕಣ್ಣ ತುಂಬುವ ಧೂಳಿಗೆ ಸ್ವಲ್ಪವು ಅಳುಕದೆ
ಕಾಲಿಗೊತ್ತುವ ಕಲ್ಲುಗಳ ನೋವನು ಅನುಭವಿಸದೆ
ಮರದ ಸುತ್ತಾ ಸುಳಿಯುತ್ತಿತ್ತು ಒಂದು ಮಿಂಚಂತೆ
ಅದು ಹೂಗಳ ಅದೃಷ್ಟವೇ ಮೆತ್ತಗಿನ ಕೈ ಸೇರುವುದು?
ಆ ಹುಡುಗಿಯ ಮುಖದ ಮೇಲೆ ನಲಿಯುತಿದ್ದ ನಗು
ಯಾವ ಹೂವ ನಗುವಿಗೂ ಕಮ್ಮಿಯಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ

ಮೇಲೇರಿದ ಎತ್ತರದಿಂದ ಕಷ್ಟಕ್ಕೊಳಗಾಗಿ ಬೀಳುವಾಗ
ಹೀಗೆ ಅಮೃತ ಸ್ತ್ರೀಯರು ನಮ್ಮ ಹಿಡಿಯುತ್ತಾರೆ
ಅವರೊಂದು ನಗುವಿಂದ ನಮ್ಮ ನೋವ ಮರೆಸುತ್ತಾರೆ
ನಮಗೆ ಜೀವದಾನವನೀಯುತ್ತಾರೆ ಹರಸುತ್ತಾರೆ
ಈ ಹೂವ ಬಾಲಿಕೆಗೆ ನನ್ನದೊಂದು ನಮನ ಧನ್ಯವಾದ
ನನಗೆ ಗುರುವಾದದಕ್ಕೆ ಈ ಕವನದ ಸ್ಪೂರ್ತಿಯಾದದ್ದಕ್ಕೆ

ಭಾಶೇ

ಅಪ್ಪ

ಅಪ್ಪಾ
ಇವತ್ತು ನಿನ್ನ ನೋಡ್ತೀನಿ ಅನ್ನೋ ಖುಷಿಗಿಂತ
ಇಷ್ಟು ದಿನ ನಿನ್ನ ನೋಡಿಲ್ಲ ಅನ್ನೋ ಬೇಜಾರು ಜಾಸ್ತಿ ಇದೆ

ಬೆಳಗ್ಗೆ ನಿಮ್ಮ ಜೊತೆ ಮಾತಾಡಿದ ಮೇಲೆ ಕಣ್ಣೆಲ್ಲಾ ಕಣ್ಣೀರೇ
ಅಷ್ಟು ಪ್ರೀತಿಸೋ ನಿಮ್ಮ ಜೊತೆ ದಿನಾ ಇರಕ್ಕಾಗಲ್ಲ
ನಿಮ್ಮ ತಿಂಗಳುಗಟ್ಟಲೆ ನೋಡಕ್ಕಾಗಲ್ಲ, ತಬ್ಬಕ್ಕಾಗಲ್ಲ
ದಿನ ಕಳೆದ ಹಾಗೆ ನಿಮ್ಮ ಬಿಟ್ಟಿರೋದು ಕಷ್ಟ ಆಗ್ತಾ ಇದೆ

ಅಪ್ಪಾ ನಿಮ್ಮ ಪ್ರೀತಿಸ್ತೀನಿ ಅಂತ ಸಾವಿರ ಸಲ ಕೂಗಿದರು
ನಿಮಗೆ ಫೋನ್ ಮಾಡಿದ್ರು, ನಿಮ್ಮ ಫೋಟೋ ನೋಡಿದರು
ನಿಮ್ಮ ನೆನೆಸಿ ದಿನ ಇಡಿ ಅಳುತ್ತ ಕೂತಿದ್ರು
ಸಮಾಧಾನ ಆಗಲ್ಲ ಗಿಲ್ಟ್ ಹೋಗಲ್ಲ

ನಿಮ್ಮ ಅಪ್ಕೊಂಡು ಕೈ ಹಿಡಿದು ನಡೆದ ರಾತ್ರಿಗಳು ನೆನಪಾಗುತ್ತವೆ
ನಿಮ್ಮ ಜೊತೆ ಬೈಕ್ ನಲ್ಲಿ ಸುತ್ತಿದ್ದು ನೆನಪಾಗುತ್ತೆ
ನಿಮ್ಮ ಬಿಟ್ಟು ಇಷ್ಟು ದೂರ ಇರೋದು ಕಷ್ಟ ಆಗ್ತಿದೆ
ನಾನು ಬೆಳೆದಿಲ್ಲ ಪಪ್ಪಾ, ನಾನು ದೊಡ್ಡವಳಾಗಿಲ್ಲ

ಸ್ಕೂಲ್ ಗೆ ಹೋಗೋವಾಗ ಮೀನಂಗಡಿ ಹತ್ರ ನನ್ನ ಸೈಕಲ್ ಮೇಲೆ ಕೂರಿಸಿ
ನೀವು ತಳ್ಳೋವಾಗ ನಿಮ್ಮ ಕಾಲು ಹಿಂದೆ ಹೋಗೋ ಹಾಗೆ ತೋರೋ ನೆರಳು
ವಾಪಾಸ್ ಬರೋವಾಗ ಇಳಿಜಾರಿನಲ್ಲಿ ಬಸ್ಸು ಲಾರಿಗೆ ನಾನು ಹೆದರಿ
ಅಪ್ಪಾ ಎಂದಾಗ ನಿಮ್ಮ ನಗು ಭರವಸೆ
ಗದ್ದೇಲಿ ಹೊಳೇಲಿ ಹೋಗೋವಾಗ ನೀವು ನನ್ನ ಪ್ಯಾಂಟು ಮಡಿಸಿದ್ದು
ನನಗಾಗಿ ನಿಮ್ಮ ಸೈಕಲ್ ನಲ್ಲಿ ಹಾಕಿಸಿದ ಬೇಬಿ ಸೀಟು
ಅಪ್ಪಾ... ನನಗೆ ಈ ದೊಡ್ಡೋಳು ಆಗೋದು ಬೇಕಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ, ನಾನು ಬೆಳೆದಿಲ್ಲ

ನಿಮ್ಮ ಜೊತೆಗಿದ್ದ ಅಷ್ಟು ವರ್ಷ ಅರ್ಥವಾಗದ ಪ್ರೀತಿ
ಈಗ ಹಗಲು ರಾತ್ರಿ ಕಾಡತ್ತೆ ಬಿಟ್ಟಿರುವ ನೋವು ಭೀತಿ
ಇಷ್ಟು ದಿನ ನನ್ನ ಗಂಡನ ಮಾತ ನಂಬಿದ್ದೆ
ಅವನೇ ನನ್ನ ಅತಿ ಹೆಚ್ಚು ಪ್ರೀತಿಸೋದು
ಇನ್ನು ಗೊತ್ತಿದೆ ಅವನದು ಎರಡನೇ ಸ್ಥಾನ
ನನಗೆ ಗೊತ್ತು ಅವನಿಗಿಂತ ಹೆಚ್ಚು ಪ್ರೀತಿ ನಿಮಗಿದೆ ನನ್ನಮೇಲೆ

Missed Call

You are just a phone call away
but never picked those calls when I wanted
I sit quiet in your missed calls list and message in-box
you call me back when am caught in wrong arms
I don't have face to explain

I keep on coming back
you keep on moving far
now you are miles away, always

I wait for you, coz I love you
you are alone, coz you hate me
I beg you now, please turn back
lets start our lives on a new track
I wait for you...
I wait for the new sunshine in my life!

BhaShe

Adult Play Area

Last Saturday me and my friend Sam met and were hanging out. I had loads of things to tell and Sam was all ears. We met near the St. Marks road bus stop in the evening and as we had to leave early, we thought of spending time walking around the place having all possible junk available around.

We started with a pista badam kulfi and about my new look. After that we moved to have something spicy as kulfi was too much sweet and wanted to change the taste of our tongue. Moved to a “Matka Pani poori” vendor close by. We spoke about my spicy poems having the spicy paani poori.

On our way back to the bus stop we saw a very small park. At first it seemed that its not open, but when we went close, we found that it was open. We saw that only an elderly lady was inside, but found out later that a kid was playing inside.

As we stepped inside the park first thing we noticed is 2 swings hanging empty. I screamed out of joy and told Sam, “hey, lets sit on that and talk”. Sam warned me telling that some one will ask us to get up as its for kids, but agreed to sit.

We moved from my poems to some other very interesting topic (sorry! cannot be disclosed) and our chat got spicier. I went on and on with the stuff and Sam had a bright and naughty smile listening to my analysis.

Meanwhile 2 guards came and asked us to get up and sit somewhere else vacating the swing. In few minutes they asked us to vacate as they were about to close the park..
On our way back I saw the board near swing saying “play area for kids below 12 years only”.

We had plenty of other things to talk, we went on and on, having some fresh fruit juice. After good number of reminder calls from our care takers we waved goodbye to each other after this looooong meet. On my way back home, while I was recalling the chat and laughing at myself, that board popped up in my thoughts. Why play area only for kids below 12 years and not for adults?

Are the adults supposed to kill the kids inside them after 12? Even now I go mad on those swings and see-saw when ever I see it. I keep watching those kids who play, wishing I could do it. I will have it in the back of my mind that if I go and play some or the other will come and will ask me to leave the place. So why half satisfy myself? I go fully disappointed.

I would wish, recommend, pray and love to have adult play area. Age no bar, weight no bar. All those fun games that kids play, we should be able to play. See-saw's should not break if 2 people weighing 125 kg sit on them. I would always want to keep that kid inside me alive by doing all these kiddish things.

We stop being naughty and stop being kids after crossing certain age. Though it is very individual, mostly it happens. Responsibilities take over our minds that we get stuck in those things and stop being happy for small things. If I sit on a swing and keep swinging for a long time, that would keep the smile on my intact for at least 2 days. So why should I be deprived of such happiness?

Dig inside, get our naughty quotient high and start being a kid some time of your day. You will laugh more, live more will for sure get more out of life.

I MAKE THIS REQUEST FOR ADULT PLAY AREA – AGE NO BAR, WEIGHT NO BAR! AND U?

BhaShe

ಮೂರು ದಿನ

ತಿಂಗಳಿಗೆ ಒಮ್ಮೆಯೇ ನಾನು ಹೆಣ್ಣು ಎಂದು ನೆನಪಾಗುವುದು

ಆ ಫೂಟ್ ಬೋರ್ಡ್ ಪ್ರಯಾಣಗಳು
ಸಂಜೆ ಏಳರ ಮೇಲೆ ಕೆಲಸ ಓಡಾಟ
ಜೀನ್ಸು, ಟೀ-ಶರ್ಟು, ಜುಟ್ಟಿಲ್ಲದ ತಲೆ
ಸೆಡವು ಧೈರ್ಯ ದರ್ಪ
ಇದೆಲ್ಲದನು ಮೀರಿದ ಆ ಮೂರು ದಿನಗಳು
ನಾನು ಹೆಣ್ಣು ಎಂಬುದ ನೆನಪಿಸುತ್ತವೆ

ಒಂದಷ್ಟು ಕೋಪ ಮತ್ತೊಂದಷ್ಟು ಸಮಾಧಾನ
ಕಾಡುವ ಹೊಟ್ಟೆ ನೋವು ಸೊಂಟ ಬೇನೆ ಸುಸ್ತು
ಮುಳುಗೆದ್ದಾಗ ಮೈಗಂಟಿದ ನೀರ ಹನಿಗಳಂತೆ
ಜಾರಿದರು ಒಣಗಿದರು ಅನುಭವ ಹಸಿ ಹಸಿ ಖುಷಿ
ಆ ಮೂರು ದಿನಗಳು ಎಲ್ಲ ಮರೆತು ಬರೀ ಹೆಣ್ಣಾಗುವ ದಿನಗಳು

ನಿಂತ ಒಡನೆಯೇ ಶುರು ಹಿಂದೆ ನಿಲ್ಲಿಸಿದ ಓಟ
ಮರೆತು ಎಲ್ಲವುದನ, ಹೆಣ್ಣೆoಬುದನ ಕೂಡ
ಒಂದು ತಿಂಗಳು ಕಾಯಬೇಕು ಮತ್ತದು ನೆನಪಾಗಲು.

ಭಾಶೇ

ಹಕ್ಕಿಯ ಮರಣ

ಹಕ್ಕಿಯೊಂದು ಆಗಸದಿಂದ ಬಿದ್ದು ಸತ್ತು ಹೋಯಿತು
ಅದು ಕೊಲೆಯೋ? ಆತ್ಮಹತ್ಯೆಯೋ?
ಭಯದ ನೆರಳು ಉಳಿದೆಲ್ಲ ಹಕ್ಕಿಗಳ ಕವಿದಿತ್ತು

ಅದನ್ಯಾರು ಅದನ್ಯಾಕೆ ಕೊಲ್ಲುವವರು?
ಪಂಜು, ಬಾಣ, ಗುಂಡುಗಳ ಗುರುತಿಲ್ಲ ಅದು ಶಿಕಾರಿಯಲ್ಲ
ವಿಮಾನ ತಾಗುವಷ್ಟು ಎತ್ತರದಿ ಅದು ಹಾರುವುದಿಲ್ಲ
ಅದರ ಕೊಲೆ ನಿಜಕ್ಕೂ ಆಯಿತಾ? ಕೌತುಕ

ಅದು ಆತ್ಮ ಹತ್ಯೆಯಾ? ಅದೇಕೆ ಸಾಯಬಯಸುವುದು?
ಅದಕ್ಕೊಂದು ಗೂಡಿತ್ತು, ಬಾಳ ಸಂಗಾತಿಯಿತ್ತು
ಹತ್ತು ಮಕ್ಕಳು ಹುಟ್ಟಿ ಹಾರಿ ಹೋಗಿದ್ದವು
ಹೊಟ್ಟೆಯ ಬಯಕೆಗಳ ತೀರಿಸಲು ಬರವಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ
ಮೈಯಲ್ಲಿ ಕಸುವಿತ್ತು, ಪರಿಸರ ಸೊಂಪಾಗಿತ್ತು
ಅದು ಆತ್ಮಹತ್ಯೆಯು ಅಲ್ಲವೆನಿಸಿತ್ತು

ಮರಣೋತ್ತರ ಪರೀಕ್ಷೆಯ ಫಲಿತಾಂಶ ಹಕ್ಕಿಗಳ ಭಯವನ್ನು ಇನ್ನಷ್ಟು ಹೆಚ್ಚಿಸಿತು
ಅದು ಕೊಲೆಯು ಅಲ್ಲ ಆತ್ಮಹತ್ಯೆಯು ಅಲ್ಲ
ಅದು ಮರಣ, ಸಹಜ ಮರಣ, ಕೇವಲ ಹಟಾತ್ ಮರಣ
ಬದುಕಿ ಬಾಳಬಹುದಾದ ಯಾರನ್ನೂ ಹೊತ್ತೊಯ್ಯ ಬಹುದಾದ ಸಾವು
ನಾಳೆಗಳಿಗಿದ್ದ ಆಯಸ್ಸನ್ನು ಇಂದೇ ಮುಗಿಸುವ ನೋವು

ಆ ಹಕ್ಕಿಯ ಸಾವು ಬರಿ ಸಾವಷ್ಟೇ ಆಗಿತ್ತು
ಆ ಸಾವಿಗೆ ಕಾರಣವಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ, ಸೃಷ್ಟಿಕರ್ತನಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ
ಸಾವು ಸುಮ್ಮನೆ ಬಂದು ಆ ಜೀವವ ಹೊತ್ತೊಯ್ಯಿತು

ಹಾರಾಡುವ ಹಕ್ಕಿಗಳ ರೆಕ್ಕೆ ಕಡಿದು ತುಂಡರಿಸಿದಂತೆ ಅನಿಸಿತ್ತು
ಯಾರು ಹೇಳುವವರು ಇದು ಅನ್ಯಾಯದ ಸಾವು
ಆದರೆ ಸಾವಿಗೂ ಸತ್ತ ಹಕ್ಕಿಗೂ ಅದ್ಯಾವುದೂ ತಿಳಿದಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ

ಯಾರು ಸತ್ತರೇನು, ಹಾರಾಡುವುದ ಬಿಡಲಾರವು ಹಕ್ಕಿಗಳು
ಯಾರು ಅತ್ತರೇನು, ಪ್ರಾಣ ಹರಣವ ಬಿಡಲಾರದು ಸಾವು

ಆಗಸದಿಂದ ಸುಮ್ಮನೆ ಹಾಗೇ ಉದುರತೊಡಗಿದವು ಹಕ್ಕಿಗಳು
ಭುವಿಗೆ ಬಿದ್ದ ಹಕ್ಕಿ ದೇಹದಿಂದ ಹಾರಿದವು ಪ್ರಾಣಗಳು
ಒಂದು ಕಾಲವೇ ಮುಗಿಯುವಂತೆ, ಒಂದು ಜೈವಿಕ ವಿನಾಶದಂತೆ
ಬರಡಾದವು ಆಕಾಶ, ಮರಗಳು, ಹಕ್ಕಿ ಗೂಡುಗಳು
ಮತ್ತು ಅವೆಲ್ಲವುಗಳ ಸೃಷ್ಟಿ ಕರ್ತ ಕೂಡ
ಏನೆಲ್ಲ ನಿಂತುಹೋಯಿತು ಎಂಬುದರ ಅರಿವು ಯಾರಿಗೂ ಇಲ್ಲ
ಏಕೆಂದರೆ ಎಲ್ಲರೂ ಎಲ್ಲವೂ ನಿಂತು ಹೋಗಿತ್ತು
ಮತ್ತು ಅಲ್ಲಿಗೆ ಅದೊಂದು ಮುಕ್ತಾಯದ, ಪೂರ್ಣ ವಿರಾಮದ
ಅಂತ್ಯದ ಮತ್ತು ಹೊಸ ಆರಂಭದ ಗುರುತಾಗಿತ್ತು

ಭಾಶೇ

Save that Mother

My mom called up a while ago. I have been staying away from her since 9 – 10 years. So you may think I have gotten used to stay away from her. However, when she calls up just to talk to me, just to hear my voice without any control tears roll out. I say and I show that I am strong and not sentimental and all that, but deep inside my heart, am still that 8 year old girl, sitting in the corner of the first bench in 3rd standard, and crying, as my mom leaves the school after dropping me there. I have passed many years, celebrated many birthdays, married, handle a house on my own, and is a responsible wife and employee, but, I still am a small child crying for mom.

I saw the save tiger campaign. After growing so old, I still cry for my mom, then what would be the case of that 3 month old cub, which is entirely dependent on its mom for food and milk, and never gets to see its mom because of the greed of human being.

There is a saying in kannada, “the one who went to fill up a ship, finished his work and came back but the one who went to fill up his stomach never came back as the work never got over”. Are we soo hungry and greedy that we ate more than 38,000 tigers in few years? When ever a human being gets killed, we make court cases, fight for justice and do all drama, but we have killed soo many wild animals ruthlessly just because there is no court case? When a celebrity or a politician dies, we say its an loss to the country, but when the national animal is getting disappeared from the planet, are we not realizing the loss?

I used to get this dream often when I was a kid, that a bunch of these wild animals have came out of forest to my village and out of fear all the females and kids in the village are locked inside the houses and the male population is on mission to chase all these animals away from the village. Recently I also heard from my dad that a cheeta had come to a neighboring village and took a cow. I feel I have to tell all these as only stories to my kids and grand kids looking at the speed in which these animals are vanishing.

I don't know what I can do to save a tiger, I want to know and I want to do whatever possible from my hand to save it. We are a small creation of god with a big gift of thinking capacity. Lets use it to protect other creations of god and not destroy them.

I am moved by the save tiger campaign and shocked to know that there are only a 1000 left in India. If we do not act now, we will not have a chance to act later. Please lets all stretch our hands and do our bit to save the Tiger.

BhaShe

Chapathi Blunder

On 27th Jan 10, I reached home from office at around 9:30 PM. There was nothing available in the kitchen to eat, so as usual me n my hubby though of preparing something easily made. He was in no mood to eat rice, so the next best option available was chapathi.

He went out to get some additional decorative vegetables and leaves for the curry to be prepared.

I went inside the kitchen and for my surprise, the wheat atta box, which was expected to be full had very limited atta. I poured in the atta and felt that it may not be sufficient. So I opened a new bag of atta and poured it.

As the normal process goes, I added salt, oil and water and started mixing the atta. One unusual thing I noticed was that the atta mix was not of wheat color which it is supposed to be, but it had turned a little more white than it is supposed to be.

First I thought that instead of adding wheat atta, I have added rice flour from the new bag I opened. I tasted the atta and it tasted fine also it was getting mixed with the usual stickiness it should have. Fine then... I continued.

Mom called up in the meanwhile. So started speaking with her and told her about my doubt on the color of the mixed atta. Meanwhile my husband arrived and heard me telling this doubt to mom. He too surprised by the color of the atta asked me from which “dabba” I have taken the atta from.
I showed the box and it is the box contained rice flour.

We had the rice+wheat flour chapathi. It was eatable. I have 3 more of those chapathis still in the kitchen. You wanna come and taste?

BhaShe

Crush

He is my new addiction
My eyes keep looking for him
Smile just pass my face when I see him
I just go dumb for a second in front of him

He keeps running around in my thought process
I look for ways to start a talk
I know he is sweet, I know he is smart
I guess this is just a harmless, pass by, crush

I know he will never know or notice this
I guess he may just make fun of this feeling
Yeah! its worth being a joke after a while
I know I will move on without any pain

I get attacked by these crushes some times
They just make me happy, smile a little more
They fade away and I laugh at myself
My box of such unshared memories tickle me after long

BhaShe

Haunted

I am haunted
Your memory drives me crazy
I hear your voice always in my ears
Your shadow follows me even in my dreams

I fail to recognize any face coz I see only you
I always smell your perfume
My hand is always warm as it was when you held them
I don't hear anything other than your name

Your dreamy eyes, your sexy voice
Your naughty smile and thoughts
Loving has become an addiction
Your absence haunts me always

BhaShe

Soul mate not Co-producer

This hunt is for a soul partner and not a co-producer

I like to spend my life with the one whom I love
I am not a man, I am not a woman,
I am a soul trapped inside a body

I like to live with the one whom I love
who cares for me, who's presence is irreplaceable
who wants to be with me as my companion
who is a my kind of person, a human being

I am not a king or a queen
I don't need a heir, I don't have a throne
it is my life, my small simple life
I want to live it my way, only my way

I think beyond the bodies we are attached, for my love
it is compatibility and attachment that matters
my love is beyond and above all social boundaries
I love my life and wants it to be fulfilling

you clean your eyes, I have the purest love
you clean your ears, I have the sweetest words,
you clean your heart, I have the best companion
you and me, we, lets look at this world differently.

BhaShe

Complexities

I simply watch my fellow mates out race me
I feel a need for search... have I lost any thing?
By my intention or not
Now am part of this rat race...!!!

Do I really wanted to be this?
If I follow a great human being in every step
I will just be a bad remake, and not ME!
So where was I? And where is it going?

I still await for some magic,
I still believe in dreams coming true,
now! Alas! My dream box is empty and white
What's waiting for me in the doorstep?

Its hard to understand the amount of let go's
when you are making your self in to “your self”
so many colors around, so many sounds heard
am still a child in this world with barely open eyes

I am standing in a place where
every one else is moving a fast forward motion
thinking whether to be a part of them or not
thinking how not to be part of them and be it always!

BhaShe

My Drama Days!!!

Am going to talk about my theatre and drama days. It’s a colorful feather on my hat.

I was in 6th standard when I did my first drama in school. That was the story of Ekalavya, where I played the role of Ekalavya. I was thrilled as my teachers preferred me over other students in my class and in 7th standard. I was the only one from 6th in the team, rest all were from 7th. I think that was the time I got attracted towards acting.

Then on, though I did not performed in any more dramas (coz none of my teachers were interested in making one) I always wanted to act.

I grew up hearing the stories about my Ajja (mom's dad) doing dramas. I always thought when I grow up and move to bigger cities, I will also be part of theatre.
I grew up, moved to a bigger city, but had no choice to expand my horizon, as I was staying in a jail like hostel. However, when you have the fire inside, it’s hard to hide it.

I was in second year of my graduation when my Kannada sir Mr. Mallesh Gowda decided to make a play for the college day celebrations. Me, and some of his students got selected for the play.

The drama was created based on a story we had about two Rushi's finding out the pain of a poor farmer. He created the script. We all read it good number of times and got ready to put the expressions on.

Practice went on really well and the performance too. So there I was with a new recognition in college.

I had more fun when we played the drama I wrote, for our third year inauguration. That was a comedy flick where an arrogant daughter (I played that role), humble father and sister are hosting a polite guy, his dominating mother and deaf father who have come for bride interview. I had a wardrobe makeover, image makeover after this play. It was a huge success and an unforgettable moment in my life.

For my final year college day celebration, I was part of another drama where I played the role of Yamaraj. It is the only element I remember about that drama.

I moved to a much bigger city, Bangalore. Within 4 months of entering this city, I was part of a theatre group called 'The First Act'. My dreams were true and I was up in the sky when I joined the group.

We organized a theatre festival which was a huge success. Our group also had a play but as I had exams I was not part of the play. I worked for the marketing team and it was fun too.

It’s been more than 2 years that I did all this. Those golden days are safe in my memory and now in my blog too. Another all time attraction in my life - theatre.

Bhashe

ಹೀಗೊಂದು ಬದುಕು

ನಾನು ಬದುಕುತ್ತಿದ್ದೀನಿ ಯಾವುದೊ ಕಥೆಯನ್ನ
ನನ್ನ ನೆನ್ನೆಗಳನ್ನ ನನ್ನ ನಾಳೆಗಳನ್ನ

ಅಮ್ಮ ಹೇಳುತ್ತಿರುತ್ತಾಳೆ, ಹಾಗೆ ನನಗೂ ನೆನಪಿದೆ
ತಟ್ಟೆ ತುಂಬಾ ತುಂಬಿಟ್ಟ ಅಕ್ಕಿ, ರಾಗಿ ಕಾಳಿನಲ್ಲಿ
ಒಂದು ಕಾಳೂ ಹೊರಚೆಲ್ಲದೆ, ಹರವುತ್ತಾ, ಗುಡ್ಡೆ ಮಾಡುತ್ತಾ
ಕೈಯ ಬಳೆಯ ಅದರಲ್ಲಿ ಹುದುಗಿಸಿ, ಮುಚ್ಚಿ, ತೆಗೆದು ಆಡುತ್ತಿದ್ದುದು
ಬೇಸರವೇ ಆಗುತ್ತಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ, ಯಾವಾಗಲು

ಇಂದು, ಒಮ್ಮೊಮ್ಮೆ ನನ್ನೊಳಗೆ ಮಲಗಿರುವ ಮರಿ ಸೌಮ್ಯಳನ್ನು ಎಬ್ಬಿಸುತ್ತೇನೆ
ನನ್ನೊಳಗೆ ನೆನ್ನೆಯ ಜೀವನ ತುಂಬಲು ಪ್ರಯತ್ನಿಸುತ್ತೇನೆ
ನಾಳೆಗಳ ಯೋಚನೆಗಳ, ಭಯಗಳ ಭಾರಕ್ಕೆ
ಎದೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಎದ್ದು ಕುಳಿತ ಮರಿ ಸೌಮ್ಯ ಮುದುರಿ ಮೂಲೆ ಸೇರುತ್ತಾಳೆ
ಅಳುತ್ತಾ ನಿದ್ದೆ ಹೋಗುತ್ತಾಳೆ, ನೆನ್ನೆಗಳು ಬರೀ ನೆನ್ನೆಗಳಾಗುತ್ತವೆ

ನಾಳೆ ಮಕ್ಕಳ ದಿನಾಚರಣೆ, ಎಲ್ಲ ನೆನ್ನೆಗಳು ನೆನಪಲಿ ಸಾಲುಗಟ್ಟಿವೆ
ಶಾಲೆಯ ಸಂಭ್ರಮ, ಆಚರಣೆಯ ಅಧ್ಯಕ್ಷತೆ,
ಆಟ, ಹಾಡು, ಖುಷಿ, ಬಾಲ್ಯ ಎಷ್ಟಾದರೂ ಬಾಲ್ಯವೇ
ನಾಳೆ ಮತ್ತೆ ಮಕ್ಕಳ ದಿನಾಚರಣೆ, ಅದೆಷ್ಟು ವ್ಯತ್ಯಾಸ
ಬಟ್ಟೆ ಒಗೆವ, ಮನೆ ಗುಡಿಸುವ, ಪಾತ್ರೆ ತೊಳೆವ ಚಿಂತೆ

ನನಗೆ ಗೊತ್ತಿಲ್ಲ, ನಾನು ಯಾರದೋ ಕಥೆಯನ್ನ ಬಾಳುತ್ತಿದ್ದೇನೆ
ನಗುತ್ತಿದ್ದೇನೆ, ಅಳುತ್ತಿದ್ದೇನೆ, ಯಾರದೋ ಸೂಚನೆಗಳಂತೆ
ನನ್ನ ದಿನಗಳು ಯಾವೂ ನನ್ನ ಕೈಗೆ ಸಿಗಲೇ ಇಲ್ಲ, ಬಾಲ್ಯವೂ, ಯವ್ವನವೂ
ಆದರೂ ಇದ್ದೇನೆ, ಗೊಂಬೆಯಂತೆ, ಶವದಂತೆ, ಇಂದಿನ ಬದುಕಿನಂತೆ
ನನ್ನ ನೆನ್ನೆಗಳು ನನ್ನವಾಗಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ, ನನ್ನ ನಾಳೆಗಳು ನನ್ನವಲ್ಲ
ನನ್ನ ಇಂದುಗಳು ಕರಗುವುದು ಅರಿವಿಗೆ ಬರುತ್ತಿಲ್ಲ

ಭಾಶೆ