Check List – For Happiness - In a Relationship

Love leads to marriage, right? And that is a long process, with a long courtship. This long courtship gives lot of room for people to grow, people to change. So, we all know not all the love stories become marriage stories. There is no ‘if, then’ to it, or that is what we want to believe. Anyway, here is a list of areas on which two people in a relationship should think, I think.

This also has some points that focus more on areas when you are thinking of taking your relationship to the next level. I have written as if I am telling all these to a girl. (Boys, modify and use all that applies)

1. Your happiness is important

a. Any physical abuse, mental torture, threatening, black mailing, a slightest hint of any of this is a signal you should think about the relationship

b. If you are not happy with the relationship, then it will not work anyway. I know it’s hard, but people change, things, circumstances, emotions, feelings all of these change. Do a rain check!

c. Don’t do it because you decided, committed, promised and want to stick to your decision. When the feeling is not driving it, the decision will not hold on for long.

2. Don’t stick to a relationship

a. Just because you had sex

b. Because you lost your virginity to that person

c. Because you are scared to break up

d. Because, every time you want to move on, you are being convinced to stay!

3. It is ok to break up

a. Are you with him only because you have been with him for so long now that you cannot think of anything else but adjust to anything and everything that comes up?

b. When you are not happy, when you have considered all possibilities and you see that it is not going to work in the long run, it is good to break up now. It will cause pain in the short run, but it will be for your long term good.

4. How open is he about the relationship

a. If you are asked to hide it all, you should think about it. When it is established that you two are with each other, hiding it from your friends is not something that will be asked for.

5. Do you trust him?

a. Is he a liar? Does he get angry often? Is he emotionally balanced? Is he possessive? Clings on too much? Runs away from you when you are in trouble? Talks a lot but fails to perform or deliver? Can you really invest all your emotions for a life with him? Look at the long term and the big picture when you are thinking of taking it to another level.

6. Does he have a bright future? Can he manage a family by himself in some days?

a. How does he manages his finances is not only about what he spends on you, but mainly on how much he saves, invests, plans for the future and so on. Don’t get blinded by the colors you see.

b. You might end up having a kid in a year or two, might end up quitting your job, might end up in need of finances, and is he responsible enough to manage all these?

7. What kind of family is he from?

a. Though caste might play its role, I am not talking about that here. Knowing how open his family is, how this relationship will be accepted, how educated and cultured are his family members’, these things help a lot. There has to be a match between how you have been brought up and how that family is.

8. Will his and your parents accept this relationship whole heartedly?

a. Though you might think now that we two will live by ourselves, we will not need any support from any side of the family, when problems crop up, it may seem difficult to manage. If not for anything else, you would need some emotional support from immediate families. So, knowing if this relation will be accepted whole heartedly is a must.

9. Do you respect him and does he respects you?

a. When in love, you look at love, romance and other colorful things. But to have a relationship last for a lifetime, the other qualities that matter a lot are trust and respect for each other. Do you value each others opinions, give space, respect each other and trust each other? If not, think again before you move further.

10. Does he shows how much he loves you or is it just words?

a. Does he talk colorful stuff but makes excuses, trust me it is going to continue forever. Believe in that you see, what is delivered, what was done, more than what you hear, what was told, promised or planned.

11. Does he take responsibilities at home and lives up to a mature human being?

a. Does he own a dog? A fish tank? Some pet? Has he trained his dog, cleans up after the dog, feeds it, takes it for a walk every day, in total, can he take responsibilities and manage them?

b. Does he helps his mom or dad or is he the “get me the towel” when in the shower types?

12. How do you manage your finances and emotions connected to it?

a. Does he gifts’ you so much that you feel indebted?
b. Have you been with him even before you started working and he gave you money?
c. Do you pay him a lot? Does he make up reasons to ask you money?
d. How does the equation remain when you both work?
Money does has a very strong influence on relationships

13. How is his value system?

a. I don’t care for anyone else but you, really? Then he might not care for you too very soon.
b. I don’t care about the money, what matters is your happiness! He may be stealing someone elses happiness to make you happy.
c. Do you both have similar values about material and emotional stuff?
d. Understand what he values and what not.

14. It’s ok, if you don’t marry ever!

a. Yes, why not? If you are independent and know you can be by yourself all long, then go ahead and be firm. The people who love you, who matter to you, and whom your happiness matters, they will understand this. Don’t care about others.

15. Think again, why are you in this relationship now?

a. Oh, I started it when I was 14 and I can’t imagine my life without him, even though we are not in happy terms now
b. I wanted to teach a lesson to my parents, friends, someone else
c. All my friends have a relationship, how can I be alone?
d. Oh! He is the best charmer at my college/work place/ etc. Though I know he might be cheating on me, I like the attention I get for being with him
e. Oh, we know it won’t work, but we really can’t stop ourselves!
f. I can adjust to anything that comes my way
g. We had sex and since then I see him as my husband
h. I am threatened, forced and compelled to be in this relationship
i. Think again why you are in this relationship!


Share, ask for help, make an informed decision, it is your life, after all. Consider your happiness too.

Sowmyashree Gonibeedu

Taking the Leap; blindly – My life is mine after all!!!

“Suma has taken sanyasa and has left to an ashram in a remote place in Kerala / Tamil Nadu”.

Today, Akshaya Tritiya, I was at the inauguration of the new temple building at the mutt. I went there to offer my prayers and be there for few minutes. I love that place anyway. I went there by 4:45 times and went to the prayer hall straight; where a lot of devotees were chanting some stotras. I saw “P” there, one of my friends from the Mutt. She went out of the prayer hall and I followed her just to catch up with her. As soon as I approached her, she got excited and started off, “how are you akka? It has been so long, you have not come here for so many Saturdays, what happened?” and all that. I answered it all and it was my turn for questions, and the first one was, how are you all? How is Suma, PV and all doing?

The answer I heard shook me off. Suma was an engineering graduate, had just finished her course and was working with the Mutt, doing all the computer work that was needed. She was a sweet kid. Very active, motivated by the words of a great saint and had read a lot. I liked and admired her spirit and wanted her to have a bright future and a good life.

She is the only kid of her parents, who had let her pursue spiritual path, work for a spiritual place, when a lot of others would stop their kids from doing so. I also heard that, her mom had fallen ill after this news. Her dad is asking her to come back, not marry if she does not want to, but stay with them, doing what she likes to do.

She took the leap, jumped off the cliff; she jumped off, without getting tied to any rope. It is her life, and she did what she wanted to. I know I am no one to judge, but I still am. Aren’t I? When I think, whether what she did was the right thing or not? And it bothers me much more, because there were situations where even I wanted to jump, but I did not. I held on to the ropes. This one incident is making me think about every other decision I have made in my life.

A good friend of mine told me, “you can live your dreams, but not at the cost of others”. I agreed, but did I do so, as that is what I wanted to hear, or do I really mean to agree? Another friend said it’s a tradeoff we all do. Another in similar lines stating, he has seen many such ‘taking the leap’ people.

I also wonder, was she ready for such a jump? She is a small kid, I mean; 22 – 23 is not an age where you can call someone experienced in life right? She had just opened her eyes; she is just a baby. She forsook it all, not knowing what she is forsaking and jumped off to becoming something she does not know.

I am not God, I know, so I cannot judge what is right or not. But being the human that I am, I will be puzzled for some more time, days at least wondering about everything.

Sowmyashree Gonibeedu

ಬೇಲಿ, ದಣಪೆ ಮತ್ತು ಭಗವಂತ

from here http://ittigecement.blogspot.in/2014/04/blog-post.html

to here http://dinakarmoger.blogspot.in/2014/04/blog-post_14.html#comment-form

and then,

ಅವನ ಮನೆ ಸೇರುವಷ್ಟರಲ್ಲಿ ನಾನು ಬೆವತು ಹಣ್ಣು. ಅಲ್ಲಿ ಏನೇನು ಆಗಬಹುದು ಊಹಿಸಿಯ ಮನಸ್ಸುಹಕ್ಕಿ ಹಾಗೆ ಹಾರಡಿತ್ತು. ನನ್ನ ನಾಚಿಕೆ, ಅವನ ಹೊಗಳಿಕೆ, ಅಯ್ಯಯ್ಯೊ... ಅಬ್ಬಬ್ಬಾ...

ನನಗಾಗಿಯೇ ಕಾದಿದ್ದ ಅವನು...

ಮೊದಲು ಟೀ ನಂತರ ಫೈಲ್ ಕೆಲಸ ಎಂದ...

ಹಾರುತ್ತಿದ್ದ ನನ್ನ ಎದೆಯನ್ನು ಹಿಡಿದು ಅಡಿಗೆ ಮನೆಗೆ ನಡೆದೆ...

ಗ್ಯಾಸ್ ಹಚ್ಚಲು ಲೈಟರ್ ತೆಗೆದೆ...

ಗ್ಯಾಸ್ ಆನ್ ಮಾದಿದೆ... ಅಷ್ಟರಲ್ಲಿ ಅವನು ಅಡುಗೆ ಮನೆ ಬಾಗಿಲಿಗೆ ಬಂದ...

ಅವನ ತುಂಟ ನಗು ನೋಡುತ್ತಾ ನಿಂತೆ ನಾನು... ಮಾತಿಗೆಳೆದ ಅವನು...

ಗ್ಯಾಸ್, ಸದ್ದೇ ಇಲ್ಲದೆ, ವಾಸನೆಯೂ ಇಲ್ಲದೆ ಅಡುಗೆ ಮನೆಯ ಗಾಳಿಯನ್ನು ಆವರಿಸಿಕೊಳ್ಳುತ್ತಿತ್ತು... ಅದರ ಅರಿವು ಇಬ್ಬರಿಗೂ ಇರಲಿಲ್ಲ

ಫೋನ್ ರಿಂಗ್ ಆದದ್ದು ಕೇಳಿ, ಅವ, ಟೀ ಮಾಡು, ಅಲ್ಲೇ ಬಾ, ಮಾತಾಡೋಣ ಎಂದು ಹೇಳಿ ಹಾಲ್ ಗೆ ನಡೆದ...

ಫೋನ್ ನಲ್ಲಿ ಅವನು ಹಾಯ್ ಎಂದು ನನ್ನ ಪತಿಯ ಹೆಸರು ಹೇಳಿದಾಗ ಕನಸಿನ ಲೋಕದಲ್ಲಿದ್ದ ನಾನು ವಾಸ್ತವಕ್ಕೆ ಬಂದಿದ್ದೆ...

BhaShe

Schizophrenia

May be, he loves me
Though I don’t see it
I’d rather believe it

I know am on high guards
I know am in a strong shell
But you can’t stop me from dreaming

Why should I believe you?
For that matter any one?
My ears hear different music

May be, he does not even exist
But, that is true in your reality
Mine has nothing to do with yours

BhaShe

Kitchens – The not-usually-seen ones

I have made it very clear how much I hate cooking. If it was not, now you know! But the irony is I love eating. If you have seen me, you have seen how evident it is. If you have not, then, blame your luck! This background information is furnished just to tell you that I visited some kitchens that are not seen by us on a daily basis.

I know somebody at Domino’s and I have been asking this person to show me the kitchen (I have become such a frequent visitor to Domino’s that I know 2 – 3 people there). He kept denying saying that its evening, the kitchen might be messy and so on. One fine afternoon, I was there and then suddenly it occurred to me that its afternoon and the day has just started and the kitchen would be ready for a visit. And, yes, I was given a kitchen tour.

The cold storage, I liked it there, I think it was 0 or -4 degree temperature and it was nice. All veg and non-veg stuff stored separately, their packaging, how materials come there and how they turn into a pizza and all that. Then I saw the preparation area, where the pizza gets prepared.

You have heard the order takers scream “refresh” once the order is placed right? That is for the screen near the preparation area where they get to see the order and make it. They have the cut veggies stored there, the toppings n all that we eat.

Then the oven, where a pizza is done in 6 minutes, yes. The raw one is put on the conveyor which carries it inside the oven, keeps it moving n after 6 minutes when it comes out, it will be ready to eat. Nice right?

Then the packaging area, where the order number is stuck to a shelf and the pizzas get cut, packed and gets ready to deliver. It’s all a very beautiful process.

It’s a very small kitchen compared to what I saw in a KFC.

After this visit to Domino’s I was curious about the other most important junk food I eat, burgers. As I have a KFC close to my house, one Saturday evening, I decided to pay a visit n spend some time knowing how they cook.

KFC has a really long kitchen, 4 levels or steps as I recollect. One cold storage and one freezer area, pre-preparation areas, preparation areas, one ready-to-eat-made-ready space and the sales counter.

I had seen the cold storage area but deep freezing, oh my god, it was freezing. The temperature was at -20 degrees and I ran out of the area as soon as I can. They also have a normal storage space where groceries are stored.

KFC gets cut veggies by a vendor, and guess that is how it works at other places too. Though I wished to see something getting done, because of lack of orders at that time, I only got to see the spaces and the equipments used.

The ovens, the deep frying area, the rice making place, the preparation area, it is again a very nice process. They purify the oil (used to deep fry) every day but change it once a week, made me think if I should eat at KFC anymore. Taste won and logic lost.

I have some more kitchens in my head now. Would you want to join me to explore some more kitchens?

Sowmyashree Gonibeedu

Transition

Happily married then,
Much happily divorced now

Then, it was all plans for two
Now, it's one, lot plans are now
Then, it was cozy places and corner seats
Now, it is lonely walks and self treats

Then, it was long nights on bed
Now, it is longer nights with good books
Then, it was compromise and adjustments
Now, it is priorities and my own trends

Then, it was shared smiles and bitter words
Now, it is fights with self and connected chords
Then, it was egos, tears, share and care
Now it is "I am the Queen of my World and I don't care"

Was that better or is this the best?
No such question, as it is all part of the quest
It is a transition from married to divorced
In the journey of life, nothing should be devoid.

BhaShe

Songs of the Hunger

Songs of the hunger
Are not made, but are born
Are sung from the stomach, not heart
Are powerful than anything else

Songs of the hunger
Are crude, rude and natural
They reach the heights and the lows
That are otherwise impossible

Songs of the hunger
Are from the earth and the skies
They bring out the best of what is
Colors and shades, smells and fragrances

Songs of the hunger
Come along with blood and tears
They are the true self of pain and pleasure
They are feelings and emotions ‘songified’

BhaShe

A day Trip to Penukonda

Don’t get Penukonda confused with Penugonda, I did and I was shocked. How am I supposed to reach this place in 3 hours from Mekhri circle, how is a KSRTC or an APSRTC bus gonna travel 800+ kms in 3 hours? Was Ramesh joking? Ramesh is so dead! Hey, hold on, was it Penugonda or Penukonda? He said it’s near Ananthpur, oh, hmm… my bad! Its penukonda and it’s only 140+ kms from Banglalore on the way to Hyderabad. Stupid me.

So, the occasion was my dear sweet neighbor Ramesh’s wedding. I had to go, and I did, today.

Got up at 5:30, (planned was 4:30!), tried those 2 dresses that I thought I would still fit in and I could not breath when I wore them. The third one did fit in and that’s the one for the day. Should I take a shawl? Yes, no, yes no, ok, forget it, am going to a dry area, no need of warm clothes. So, I was ready and was at Mekhri circle early enough.

‘There is a bus once every 10 minutes, take the one that comes through Bagepalli and not Hindupur, you will reach in two and half hours”, I waited and waited and waited, no bus at all. ‘Ramesh, you are so dead’. Well, how long did I wait? I was still home at 6:15 AM, and I might have left by then, would have reached the bus stop only by 6:30 or 6:40 and I got a bus at 7. God! That’s not too long! Bangalore has made me impatient, or was it the lack of music in my ears? Well, whatever, it felt as if I waited for hours to get that bus.

It was an APSRTC luxury bus. Is it still called APSRTC? Guess so. So, I have boarded this bus and it goes through Bagepalli. Nice start! The journey I started long back on the Hyderrabad highway, that was unfinished, was restarted today, but just to reach till Penukonda.

New route, I did not want to sleep, as I wanted to enjoy the beauty of the journey. I felt it was a dry area. It was a cloudy day, and chill at 7. I did doze off for some time. Read Oh Manase on the way, holding a Kannada magazine in an APSRTC bus where everyone else was reading Telgu granted me some gazes.

Ramesh told, ‘I am going to handover my phone to Anil, so, as soon as you get down at the bus stop, call me, I will get someone sent to the bus stop to get you picked’. So, I thought I would inform him am coming, so, I called, and called and called, no one picked up. Next option was to call Mani. I did and a lady picked up and said, ‘sorry wrong number’! Holy! What am I gonna do now? I do not have an invitation as he ran out of them when he invited me, a sms is what I have and it just says alight at penukonda stop! No! Ramesh, you are so dead! Ah! I remember the wedding is at vasavi kalyana mantap. I think I should be able to reach there!

Help came in the form of my build owner, as I called her, she gave me Mani’s other number and told that the venue is close to bus stop and any auto guy would take me there without much of trouble. Now I was sure that I will get there.

When my friends put up picture of their speeding car at 160 or 180 and mention that it was on the Hyderabad highway, I wondered, but now I know how and why they do that. Road is amazing, also it’s very boring, as its very dry, or is it because it’s almost summer and it’s dried up? Well, in any case, for the ones like me who are from the typical rainy regions of Karnataka, the Western Ghats, everything else is dry.

When I googled Penukonda, I knew there is a fort, but did not search enough to find more about it. I regret that now. As I got there, I saw boards indicating ‘way to the fort’. When I asked Anil if it is a place to visit, he laughed at me. I hope he was right, but if you tell me now that he was wrong, am gonna feel bad and am gonna make another trip.

Also, I wish I was there with my dad. Where ever we go, me and dad, we ensure to roam around the city to whatever extent we can and visit places there. I missed you Dad.

I reached the venue; the wedding was done in due time, met them and wished them, done. Lunch was done by 1:15, met the bride and groom again, said bye and left the place at 1:30.

I reach the APSRCT bus stop. I asked to get dropped there because I thought that is “The Bus Stop” and all buses would come there. Well, I do not know Telgu, I hope you all know that. So, am at the bus stop, I go the enquiry section and ask the person there ‘when is the next bus to Bangalore’, he says, at 2:15 or 2:30. Holy! Why, again! Ramesh had told there is a bus every 10 minutes, he is so dead. I ask again, what about KSRTC buses, the APSRTC person makes a face and says I have no details on their timings.

I was disappointed and went and sat, but hey, why are those people waiting outside the bus stop, oh, there comes a bus, let me see where that goes, it’s a KSRTC bus and yeah, it goes to Bangalore. As I sat down, I understood, the KSRTC buses won’t come inside an APSRTC bus stop and if I had waited inside, I would have been a real fool. Thank god!

Again, Hyderabad highway, because I had dozed off coming here, I decided again to stay awake. Oh Manase and music for my company. I saw Mango orchards but trees without any sign of any fruits. Also, there were many Vineyards, and the agriculturist in me got inquisitive. I wish I get to go to a vineyard, understand the cultivation process, eat some grapes there and come. I really want to do that, but how? Whom to contact? Many questions! Hopefully I will figure that out soon.

I did doze off on the way back too and I think I did not miss much. Was back at Mekhri at 4:30 PM! A short, nice, memorable trip to Penukonda was over like this!

BhaShe

The Memory Test

This is a story of my life that I got reminded of recently, I don’t know why. I believe that I am still the way I was when this incident happened. Before this story gets lost in my brain again, I am writing it down.

I was in either 6th or 7th standard. We used to have hobli, taluk and district level competitions for singing, group dance, general knowledge, quiz, don’t know what not and for memory. You would have already guessed what a memory test is. Some 50 odd items are kept in a classroom and all the participants are asked to have a look at these items for about 5 or 10 minutes and write them down in the next 10 or 15 minutes. Yeah! That’s the game I am talking about.

I had won the hobli level competition and had progressed to the next level that is taluk level. These competitions were normally held at different schools every year. I think that year it was held at Kottigehara or jawali or some other place. Me, other winners from my school and our teacher went to the competition.

Other competitions were in progress and we were sitting/standing in the school premises waiting for our completions to start. As I had nothing to prepare for, some causal talks were also going on. I don’t remember exactly how and why it happened, I think we went in search of a place to sit, and happened to notice an open window of a classroom which had the items set for the memory test.

If you participate/win in a district level competition, there is some certification and recognition. To get there, one has to win the taluk level competition. This is also an honor to the school.

My teacher told me to have a detailed look at the items, write them down and memorize them, so that I win the competition. Along with a friend of mine, I went near the window to have a clear view of all the items listed there.

I looked at those items for a couple of minutes and I came back. I told my teacher that I do not want to participate in the competition. She asked my friend who had accompanied me to participate. He agreed. He went and listed all the items down and participated and won the competition there. The school had incurred my travel expenses which went for a waste because I did not participate.

I could not compete because I knew from inside that it was not right. I don’t remember what reasons I gave to my teacher but I definitely did not tell her my inner feeling. I was in 6th or 7th standard then. Am sure most of us agree winning a competition is always an achievement. I did not participate.

I think am still the same.

Sowmyashree Gonibeedu

Draupadi - The fear!

Don’t make any judgments based on the title here! All I intend to do, by giving this title is to showcase the fear of getting naked in public. Have you ever felt the fear of a major wardrobe malfunction in public? A wardrobe malfunction which will leave you with only basic garments on your body and which will leave you damaged for the rest of your life. I have something to share.

This was 2 or 3 years ago. Then, I used to stare at the sarees I have and feel bad for not wearing them at all. The ones which I cannot wear to any function, because they are not grand enough, were lying in my cupboard unused. One day I told myself, well, I’ll wear these sarees to work whenever I feel like.

The first day I did that, the response was overwhelming (well, all the complements from my colleagues made me feel so good that saree has become my medicine for depression). That day I decided to wear sarees often. That evening when I was on my way home, it started raining. It’s a 15 minutes’ walk from the bus stop to my house and as I carry an umbrella all the time, I started walking in the rain.

If you know and understand how a saree is worn, you know that the beginning of a saree is stuck into the petticoat. Imagine the beginning of the saree coming out. It’s an inner layer, so, you won’t be able to tuck it back in without taking off your saree or lifting it to a length that will not be decent. You will not even have easy access to get to the beginning, and also, as it comes out, there is a high chances that you might trip on it and fall down. Set of troubles!

As I was walking towards my home, I saw that my saree was coming down, and I realized that the beginning of my saree has come out from the clutches of my petticoat and I was stumbling on it. Just one more time it goes beneath my feet and I take a long step, my saree will be on the road!!! OMG!!! It’s a rainy evening, muddy road and a lot of people have taken shelters in the nearby shops waiting for the rain to stop, staring at the road. I was about to face a life scarring wardrobe malfunction.

Thankfully I got to know what is happening and what would happen if I continue. I halted, held the rest of the saree tight and started walking like a tortoise. I did reach home with my dignity held up high! Thank god for no malfunction on the road.

After this incident, I learnt a trick from my aunt. Put a knot to the beginning of the saree and tuck it inside the petticoat. This won’t let the saree to come out from that end easily! I do that and it’s a success, or that’s what I thought till recently.

This one is a very recent incident.

After finishing work, I was running towards the bus stop as it was already 9:30 in the evening. I was wearing a saree again this day. As it was cold, I had covered myself with a shawl. As it was late, I was walking very fast. Just when I was around the corner, I felt that my saree is coming down again, from the same end! What the hell! I had put the knot!

I rushed into a hotel nearby, and found a very small loo there. Thank god! I took the shawl off to see what is wrong! Sigh! Relief, it’s just my pallu which has come down from the wrong end! There is nothing wrong with the saree, it’s all fine, and I was just paranoid. I put the shawl back and ran to the bus stop.

You think I have stopped wearing saree now? Naa… these things can’t kill my spirit (or can’t kill my hunger for some complements once a while). ;) But I did feel the fear, I guess I know how Draupadi would have felt when she was dragged into the “sabhangana”.

BhaShe

Inhuman Sexual Behaviors

I am utterly disturbed since yesterday afternoon. When I am busy, these thoughts won’t bother me, but as soon as I am free, only this thing runs in my head. What is happening? Why?

Yesterday afternoon I started reading my favorite magazine “omanase”. In the counseling section of the magazine, a lady writes about her problem. The problem is, her husband, who is a professor, is a womanizer, he has slept with anything that is called a female, and he sleeps with his daughters too. His daughters are so addicted that they call him to bed too. This not just when they were 13 and did not know what was going on, but also when they are grown up, married and have kids. How is this even possible? How can I digest this? This is a true story and I mean, what the hell?

I tell this to a friend of mine who gives me 2 such cases in a minute, a man, who sleeps with his mom and sister and another one who sleeps with a lot of females including his aunt (dad’s sister).

What happened to “a husband and wife should have sex only when they desire to have a baby, else restrain from such activities” the sages story? Well, I agree that is very old school. We moved from that to unlimited sex and birth control, to having sex before marriage with the one whom you are going to marry, to unfaithful marriages and affairs, to having sex with an attractive person when you desire, to separating sex from love, to open marriage,s to one night stands. But this? Having sex with father, mother, brother, sister, daughter, aunt, I mean, isn’t it worse than animals?

You might say it’s a one in a million case. I have not done any research on this topic but 2 examples for one story I narrate, I mean, it has to be a one in a hundred case then! How else can the math work?

Where are we losing our values? Where is it going wrong in the system? My stomach hurts when I read this and feel sorry, restless and helpless. What weirdness is this?

What do I do? How can this be corrected? How can we bring in values to lives? How can we identify such people and give them proper advise, medication, counseling and cure them? This is an illness, a problem, a disorder.

I am still speechless and lost in the whirl of these thoughts.

Sowmyashree Gonibeedu

Used

Use is a bad term but still I have to say
Every time I use you, I feel you leave a layer on me
The comfort, pleasure and sweet feeling
When I am with you, I feel the joy of being free

I do it without guilt, am built that way
I have no shame, morale or value per say
I pity you, feel bad, but still use you
For my own comfort and for my own play

I know I don’t treat you the way you deserve
I hurt you, trash you and put you in bad conditions
Still you stay with me, ready to serve
How can I ever thank you for your dedication

You know you are not only in my space
Still you stay, not being jealous or possessive
You know I just use you, only for my comfort
But you still give your life, without regret

Oh! My dear bathing bar, how do I thank you?
For helping me keep clean, be smell free
I feel your moisture on my skin after every wash
The few minutes with you, each day is bliss and glee

BhaShe

ಕನಸಲ್ಲಿ ಕಡಲೆಗಿಡ

ಛಳಿಗಾಲ
ಅವರೆಯ ಸೊಗಡಿನೊಂದಿಗೆ, ಕಡಲೆಯ ಗಿಡವನೂ ತಂತು
ನಾನು
ಅವರೆಯ ಅನುಭವಿಸಿ ಕಡಲೆ ಗಿಡಕ್ಕೆ ಹುಡುಕಾಡಿದೆ

ಖಾಲಿಯಾಗಿ ಒಣಗಿ ರಸ್ತೆಯಲಿ ಧೂಳಾಗಿದ್ದ ಕಂಡಾಗ
ಹುಡುಕಲಾರಂಬಿಸುತ್ತೆ ನನ್ನ ಕಣ್ಣುಗಳು
ಯಾರಾದರೂ ಕೈಲಿ ಹಿಡಿದಿರುವುದು ಕಾಣಿಸಿದರಂತೂ
ಹೋಗಿ ಕೇಳಿ ಬಿಡಲೇ ಎಲ್ಲಿ ಕೊಂಡಿರೆಂದು?

ಕನಸಿನಲ್ಲೂ ಕಡಲೆ ಗಿಡವೇ ನನ್ನ ಭಾಗ್ಯಕ್ಕೆ?
ಮಾರಲೊಲ್ಲದ ವ್ಯಾಪಾರಿ, ಬಿಡಲೊಲ್ಲದ ನಾನು
ಆ ರುಚಿಗಾಗಿ ಎಷ್ಟು ಹಾತೊರೆಯುತ್ತಿದೆ ಮನ
ಎಲ್ಲಿರುವೆ, ಎಲ್ಲಿರುವೆ, ಮನವ ಕಾಡುವ ಕಡಲೆ ಗಿಡವೇ?

ಒಂದು ಕಟ್ಟು, ಅರ್ಧ ಕೇಜಿ, ಸಿಕ್ಕರೆ ಸಾಕೀಗ ನನಗೆ
ಒಂದು ವರ್ಷದ ತನಕ ಖುಷಿಯಗಿರುವೆ
ನಿಮಗೆ ಸಿಕ್ಕರೆ ಕೊಟ್ಟು ಪುಣ್ಯ ಕಟ್ಟಿಕೊಳ್ಳಿ ದೇವರೇ
ಹಸಿ ಕಡಲೆ ಕಾಳಿನ ರುಚಿಗೆ ಮನ ಕಾದು ಕಾವಲಿಯಾಗಿದೆ

ಭಾಶೇ

Poet

I only write
That’s my thoughts
How you read it
Is in your head
I can’t influence
What you understand
For what you read
Don’t blame me

If you like what I write
You have a reason to it
If you don’t like it
You have reasons again
I won’t know them
I don’t want to
What I see is
The world I portray

What you understand
How you interpret
What you take
And what you leave
Is all up to you
I only offer
Taking or not
Is always your decision

Take what fits you
Leave the rest
Am sure there are takers
Am sure am been ignored too
But till the time
I know that I am being read
Or maybe even after that
Am sure I still will write

BhaShe!

Mummified Feelings

All my emotions are mummified
Every time I read a poem
It tells me a story from the past

I won’t destroy my poems on you
Though it was all a lie to you
For me, all my emotions were true

When I grow old, grow out of the hurt
I’ll read these poems to myself
And recall what had been, long ago

I know the scars would still be visible
I know it will refresh my memories
But then, what else can be the best use of past?

No hard feelings, no tears, no pain then,
I’d laugh at my emotions, as I recall
When I open the mummified memories

BhaShe

Dedicated: To that one person who was good and bad at the same time, for a very short time!

Groping – the Menace

As we have progressed, I think people have found new ways to abuse women, new ways to hurt physically, mentally and emotionally. If I were to write about everything I have heard, seen, witnessed or gone through, then I can make another blog on it or make it a series. Well, I do plan to make a series on sexual and other form of abuses though. That’s another day’s discussion, another day’s plan. Now, let’s come back and focus on groping.

The definition on the internet and Wikipedia say it is a form of molestation. A body part is pressed, pinched or rubbed against, without the consent of the person is called groping. You will find a lot of information on what groping is, how it is considered in different countries and so on, on the internet. Well, information is good, but when you are actually in the situation, that is when you will know how it actually feels to be groped.

It’s done in seconds. You are in a crowded place and a hand appears from nowhere and presses your breast. By the time you realize what happened and turn back to see who did it; the person would have vanished in the crowd. Sometimes you get to see his face, or grab his hand to hurt him.

You feel angry, frustrated, agitated, helpless, scared, there is a rush of lot of emotions. You probably try to hit him if you get a chance or otherwise you walk off like nothing happened. Does a lump in your throat appear just as you go through this that you fail to scream, you fail to make it public. Or do you fear that even if you scream, no one cares, no one helps and you think you will be embarrassed?

Why do people do this? Grope? What does one get by this? I have a list of questions actually! Is it an illness? Can this behavior be corrected? Is it based on the upbringing, or is it a mental condition, what is it? Why do people do this? Should one be punished or taken to a doctor?

I think I will hear voices which will say punish them. Getting physical the only form of reaction to such an incident and hit them hard and hurt them so that before they think of groping someone else, they will think 1000 times. However, I think, if they had it in them to think, why would they be doing anything like this? I don’t know. I have heard people tell me they punched that “beeped word” in their face, hit him, hurt him. Yes, you get your anger out, but will that make any difference? Will that make that person not do it again?

Can this be taken to the police? I don’t know this either. Will they take complaint on groping seriously? Or the person who went to complain has to face embarrassment? I don’t know. Would you tell this to your father, brother or husband? Would you tell this to your best buddy? Your girl? What would you do if this happens to you?

This might be going too far, but I think police, psychiatrists/psychologists/counselors and a bunch of young people, in cooperation, should form teams to catch these gropers and get them to the right path. I won’t worry about me, but I worry about my little sister, my best friend, my mom or my daughter who would have to face this. I want to feel safe for me, for them and I want them to feel safe as well. There has to be a way out, it might be case by case basis but there will be things that will be common.

How can we cure this illness from our society?

Sowmyashree Gonibeedu

Azeem Bolar – The HELP

You google his name and you will find enough details about who he is, what he does, how has his life’s journey been and everything. There are a lot of articles, videos, news releases and what not, that tell you about him. Everything you need to know about him is already there. But the question is why would you google about him? How would you know that a man named “Azeem Bolar” exists? Unless you have heard of him or met him and know that he is help.

Not everyone who is in trouble identifies that he is in trouble, and not everyone who knows he is in trouble wants a solution. Most of them just whine about it. There are few, who figure that there is trouble in life, and professional help is needed to solve it. When you are that person, one of the people whom you can reach out to, is Azeem Bolar.

He is blind, but we fail to see what he sees, different perspectives to life. His life itself is a motivational story. His beliefs, his positive and never give up attitude, that itself is enough for someone to feel motivated and positive about life. Also, the detailing that he gives, his talks, makes one think, wakes one up from the slumber and then soothes, lightens and calms down ones troubled mind/heart and helps clear the clouds that blurred ones vision.

“When did you become god?” a question that he asks, that make you think. Think again and again and again and see that you are not God. That question is enough to bring peace back to you and Make you look outside like it is meant to be. Well, I don’t want to write much. You will know the value of something only when it is needed badly. I know it!

Azeem Bolar is help.

Sowmyashree Gonibeedu

Happiness!

Sometimes years are spent in minutes and
Sometimes seconds take years to pass
Time has its own way to transcend and transform
To teach and to make living better by day!

It’s like waking up from a sweet dream and
Still feeling the beauty of it, around
Like world unwinds its colors slowly
Beauty is the only word I have!

Being true to emotions, true to oneself,
True to the inner conscious, follow the morals
Living the values that our fathers taught
And living, knowing that it’s all gonna end!

Peace of mind and lots of hope
Sincerity, honesty and applied life lessons
Knowing that I am doing the right thing for all
Gives such a peace and joy to the heart!

Enjoy the life, as you wish, as you deserve,
Harm no one, hurt no one, be the best you can!
It’s all temporary, momentary, know that well,
And live such way, that you die with pride and honor!

BhaShe

Perspectives

If I were to die today…

I’d love to spend it with you,
Just sit with you all day long
Laugh, cry, talk, hug, eat, donno what!
And love you and make love to you,
Not worry about anything
Just enjoy the most with you
Make the best out of what I have
Forget the pain you caused
Forgive all your mistakes
Love you like nothing happened in the past
As I’ll not have a tomorrow

In short, what I wanna say is,
I still love you a lot
I have not forgotten anything
Both the good and the bad we had

But unfortunately, I believe I am gonna live, so

I can’t love or desire you
I can’t put myself in that position
Where I need to beg you badly for love everyday
I can’t put myself in pain
I can’t feel bad about myself again
I can’t feel low and cry often
I can’t listen to your lies and excuses
I can’t get ill-treated by you again
I can’t and don’t want to go through again
As I think you wouldn’t have changed a bit!

So, I will keep the anger, sad and what you did,
I will keep the pain you caused in the past
And I will make it help me forget you
As I believe I have a lot to do, lot to live
I don’t wanna hurt myself again
By confessing my love to you one more time!

BhaShe

Preparing for Pain

This morning, I spoke to her, she was very hurt, her dad had passed away and she could not go to see his face for the last time. It was an unexpected death. His health condition was normal and such a sudden death was not expected, even though he was hospitalized for 10 days. He moved on and now his family need to accept this sudden change and start living with it.

Not just people, relationships also die. Sometimes you can predict it and expect it to happen any moment and a lot of other times it just happens. One has to adjust only after its occurrence.

All of us come with an expiry date written on our forehead (if you believe that is place where god writes our future and his wills ;)), and I think so does every relationship. Sometimes people die before the relationship expires and sometimes relations die.

Also, like I said, some relations give hints that they are about to die, you could predict it, you could plan to adjust even before it actually happens. Like a bed ridden old man! You know he is not going to get up and become active, you know he is walking towards the doors of death, you know it may be today or tomorrow. So you understand, you accept and you are prepared for it to happen. Still you hurt. Even after knowing that he was walking on a one way road, you hurt. But do you hurt as much as you would have if it were unexpected?

Like an accident! You had no clue that the one you loved would be no more, you cannot see him alive the next time. Like a sudden break up, when you thought everything was going fine. Like a striking lightening! You were completely unprepared for such a shock in life and it happens. Friends, lovers, parents, siblings, we lose people whom we love in just a second. It’s like destiny’s destructive plan, cruelty. It takes a lot of time to accept that this has happened, to understand the reality, and then to adjust one’s life to the new reality.

Can we ever be prepared for all the death and loss that occur? We know we are all going to die one day, so, can we really prepare for it? To reduce the pain? Can we really be prepared for the shocks of life like death, break up or losing someone forever? Will I be called negative if I start a relationship thinking it may not work and end up bad? If I make up my mind and say I can live without anybody, though I love some people around me? Am I wrong then? Am I crazy?

I was in tears when I saw her in tears. It’s just been 3 days she has lost her father, and I was there, in my usual way, making fun, laughing, wishing her for happy festival. She was hurt, badly! I have seen my close ones cry when they lost their loved ones and I don’t like the pain! I don’t like the intensity of that pain. I want to know if there are ways to reduce that pain! Future is supposed to be unpredictable, but can we anticipate? Can we be ready? So that the hurt is that much lesser?

What do you think?

Sowmyashree Gonibeedu

Are Friends/people a necessity of Life?

Why do we need people or society to live? To be alive? I doubt that! Then why do we need people who are called friends, love, relatives, whatever relationship that we have?

Well, during ancient days people were needed to be in groups as hunting was and is still a group activity. (well, human is not the only social animal in that respect, even other animals have their own groups and are social within that, right?) Later, we needed people around for barter system. However, now, when one earns enough to stand on his or her own legs, then why do we need friends? Or people around?

Why is there such a need and pressure to have friends? I even remember watching a movie, where the bride tells her friends that her fiancé does not have friends and they insist on him having some. They tell her about the problems of not having friends and how that will ruin their marriage! He actually goes out to make friends and the movie continues, the movie is called “I love you, man”. The guy ends up with different type of people as his friends!

Is it the need to share? To show off? Status? Belongingness? What is that thing, which drives people to have someone around? If deprived, to lose their mind?

Is it such a necessity to have friends? Or for that matter people around? To share, to go out, to shop, and what all other reasons! Why? Why cannot a human live alone, without any friends or family support on a day to day basis and be happy about it?

Ok, if you are saying you need someone who cares for you, loves you and who considers you as their world and let you have the same feelings, then I have my set of doubts on that as well! How long can one sustain such feelings? How long one will? And I think life time is a very long time to commit to!

That too when you say it is a selfless act! Some actions are done, purely to make the other person happy and expecting nothing in return! Seriously! Do such people really exist?

Again, if there is no selflessness, then why be social? Why yap so much about it? Does anyone do any act just to make someone else happy? I have my own set of doubts about it! When everything is done with a meaning, selfishness, purpose or expectation then only hurt and pain gets generated right, not love and peace! Then why bother disturbing one’s inner peace by being social?

We have psychologists to share our problems and get useful advice! We have books to read, TV to get entertained, strangers to smile, and unknown people to have a chat! Well, you might say now that I am contradicting my own thoughts! But again, I am talking about strangers and professionals and not friends or relatives! Because, whenever I said people, I meant friends and others who are known! An established relationship!

The one who is alone and happy about it, has the rights to decide how connected or disconnected one wants to be with anyone or anything! Stuff like books, music, and so on don’t hurt! Life will pretty much be on our own terms if this is done! So, why be social? Why rely on people with established relationships? Why trust them? Why?

I seek answers!

Sowmyashree Gonibeedu

Becoming Me!

A very peaceful seashore
Completely disturbed me
Trying to concentrate
To attain moksha in solitude

I think the good and the bad
I think about going beyond thinking
I list the positive and the wrong
And I throw the list into the sea

I focus on the sound of waves
The whisper of breeze in my ears
I focus on the blue sky and water
And I try to see what I am!

A tiny creature on this planet
Who existence won’t make a difference
I search to find a purpose
That could bring about some change

I hope to leave a positive mark
Before I walk off forever
I desire to make something worth
I am waiting for my calling to come

I try to find peace and explore myself
To know me and to become me
I need to throw my list of doubts
And find answers to countless questions!

BhaShe!

Young Adults and Old Parents!

I am even unsure if I should be asking these questions! But, because I see homes where kids have flown away to a different home, city, state or country and old parents stay alone, also I see homes where though they stay together, parents are neglected and treated as if they are for kids use or benefit only, I am asking these questions!

It is kids’ responsibility to take care of parents in their old age? Or do parents need to plan for their last days? How wise is it to ask them to plan? (Have money, home, and people to take care of you or an old age home) How wise is it to expect kids to take care of their parents? What is best? Is there a common formula? What about kids who leave their parents and fly off to different home, city, state or countries? Is sending money enough? Is that the only thing that parents look for, from their kids? Or just one month visit in 2 years a good deal? What about daily necessities? What about emotional need of having kids’ around? Should we judge such kids? Who should? On what? And Why?

What we do to our parents is what we should be expecting from your kids? Or what our parents did to their parents is what we should be doing to them? Is there a best set example for this?

If parents ask their kids to curtail their certain dreams and stay grounded, are they considered to be selfish? Or if kids leave their parents in their old age and wander off to pursue their dreams, should they be called selfish? Is there a point where it can be balanced? Where and how?

Looks like my set of questions on this topic will never end and drag to other things, which will become topic for questions again, so I’ll stop here!

Do you have any answers?

Sowmyashree Gonibeedu

Just Questions!

Just Questions!

Why? When? How? Which? Where? What? Who? Whom? Whose? We use this very often, get answers sometime and get neglected otherwise. Here is a list of questions which I face, hear, want to answer, seek answers for, have answered, so on and so forth! This section of my blog is called “Just Questions”. If you have answers for any of these questions, please write. If you have more questions, please write them too.

Post 1.

Why do people kill themselves? (Yes, I am still hung over by Jiah Khan’s death and the reasons that she listed in her death note) Is love from a particular person so important that without it one cannot live? Or was delivering a baby that is a love’s child is troublesome. Accepting that life is not taking the turns that you want it to, is so very difficult? Is career the only purpose of life? What happens to the love, affection, upbringing and everything else that parents do? How does all of that become negligible in front of some strangers love and make someone kill herself! Why? Is love really worth dying for? For that matter, is anything really worth dying for? What is? And why?

How do we stop this? How do we tell our younger generation that it is okay! It is okay to lose, to get your heart broken, to suffer loss, and go through pain! How do we tell them and we accept ourselves that it is okay! Believe that moving on with life is the best thing to do. How?

Life, a big question! The purpose of it, is! But feeling purposeless is it enough reason to end life? Or is it enough reason to find one?

Answers Please! :)

Sowmyashree Gonibeedu

ಮುಕ್ತಿ ಚಿಂತನೆ

ಮಣ್ಣಿನ ದೇಹವಿದು, ಮಣ್ಣಿಗೇ ಹೋಗುವುದು
ಅಳುವುದ್ಯಾಕೆ ಇದರ ಗೋಳುಗಳ ಕಟ್ಟಿಕೊಂಡು?
ಒಳಗಿರುವ ಆತ್ಮದ ಮುಕ್ತಿಯ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ಚಿಂತಿಸಲೇ?

ಕಣ್ಣುಕತ್ತಲೆ ಬರುವಂತೆ ಹೊಟ್ಟೆ ಹಸಿದಿರುವಾಗ, ಬೆತ್ತಲಿರುವಾಗ
ಚಳಿಯಲಿ ನಡುಗುವಾಗ, ಕೈ ಕಾಲು ಸೆಟೆದುಕೊಳ್ಳುವಾಗ
ಒಳಗಿರುವ ಆತ್ಮದ ಮುಕ್ತಿಯ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ಚಿಂತಿಸಲೇ?

ಪ್ರೀತಿ ಪ್ರೇಮವೆಂದು ಮನಸು ಗೊಂದಲಿಸುವಾಗ
ಕಣ್ಣೀರು, ನಗು, ಕೋಪ, ದ್ವೇಷ, ಜಿಗುಪ್ಸೆ, ಅಹಂಕಾರ, ಅಸೂಯೆಗಳು ಕಾಡಿದಾಗ
ಒಳಗಿರುವ ಆತ್ಮದ ಮುಕ್ತಿಯ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ಚಿಂತಿಸಲೇ?

ಬಂದು ಬಳಗವು ದುಡ್ಡುಮಾಡಿ ವೈಭವಿಸುವಾಗ
ಇಲ್ಲದ ಸ್ಪರ್ದೆ ಬಂದು ಮನಸ್ಸು ನಕಾರಾತ್ಮಕವಾದಾಗ
ಒಳಗಿರುವ ಆತ್ಮದ ಮುಕ್ತಿಯ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ಚಿಂತಿಸಲೇ?

ಅಭಾವ ವೈರಾಗ್ಯದ ಸೋರೆ ಬುರುಡೆ ಕಟ್ಟಿಕೊಂಡು
ಸನ್ಯಾಸವೆಂಬ ಬೆಂಕಿ ಬಾವಿಗೆ ಜಿಗಿವ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ಯೋಚಿಸಿ
ಒಳಗಿರುವ ಆತ್ಮದ ಮುಕ್ತಿಯ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ಚಿಂತಿಸಲೇ?

ಮಣ್ಣಿನದೇ ಆದ ದೇಹದಲಿ, ಹೂವಿನಂತ ಮನಸ ಇಟ್ಟು
ಇಲ್ಲಿ ಕಳಿಸಿ ತೊಂದರೆ ಕೊಟ್ಟ ದೇವರ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ಬಯ್ಯುತಲೇ
ಅವನ ಪಾದ ಸೇರುವುದ ಚಿಂತಿಸಲೇ? ಮುಕ್ತಿಯ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ಚಿಂತಿಸಲೇ?

ಭಾಶೇ

ರೂಪಾಂತರ

ಕಲ್ಲಾದ ನನ್ನೆದೆಯ ಕುಟ್ಟಿ
ಅಡಿಪಾಯ ಕಲ್ಲು, ಜಲ್ಲಿಯಾಗಿಸಿ
ಏನೋ ಸಾಧಿಸಿದೆಯೆಂದು ಮಾಡಿ
ನಿನ್ನ ಮನೆ ಕಟ್ಟಿಕೊಂಡವನೇ

ನುಜ್ಜು ಗೊಜ್ಜಾದ ನನ್ನ ಹೃದಯ
ತಳಪಾಯವಾಗಿ ಛಾವಣಿಯಾಗಿ
ಗಟ್ಟಿ ಸಿಮೆಂಟಿನೊಂದಿಗೆ ಗಟ್ಟಿಯಾಗಿ
ಮತ್ತೂ ಕಲ್ಲಾಗೇ ಉಳಿದಿದೆ

ಹಲವು ಛಿದ್ರ ಚೂರುಗಳಾಗಿ
ಮತ್ತೆ ಒಂದಾಗದಂತೆ ನೊಂದು
ಮಣ್ಣಾಗಿ, ಧೂಳಾಗಿ ಮತ್ತೆ
ನಿನ್ನನೇ ಸುತ್ತಿ ಸುಳಿಯುತಿದೆ

ಕಲ್ಲಾಗೇ ಇದ್ದಿದ್ದರೆ ಈ ನನ್ನ ಹೃದಯ
ನನ್ನಲೇ ಇರುತಿತ್ತು, ಎಂದಾದರೂ ಕರಗುತ್ತಿತ್ತು
ಚೂರು ಚೂರಾಗಿ ಹೋಗಿದೆ ಇಂದು
ಹೃದಯರಹಿತೆ ನಾನು ಕಲ್ಲಾಗೇ ಉಳಿದಿರುವೆ.

ಭಾಶೇ

ತುಂಬಿದೆದೆಗಳ ರಾಕ್ಷಸಿ

ಸಂಜೆಗತ್ತಲಲ್ಲಿ ಗಂಟೆ ಎಂಟಾದ ಮೇಲೆ
ಕೆಲ ಜನನಿಬಿಡ ಕೆಲ ನಿರ್ಜನ ಪ್ರದೇಶದಲ್ಲಿ
ಕಾಣಿಸುತ್ತಾಳೆ ಇವಳು, ತುಂಬಿದೆದೆಗಳ ರಾಕ್ಷಸಿ

ತಿರಸ್ಕಾರ ಭರಿತ ನೋಟ, ಕುಹಕ, ಛೀಕಾರ
ಬದುಕಲು ಇದೇ ದಾರಿಯಾಗಬೇಕ? ಮೂದಲಿಕೆ
ಕೆಲವರಿಗೆ ಕುತೂಹಲದ ವಸ್ತು, ಆಕರ್ಷಣೆ

ಬಣ್ಣದ ಚಿಟ್ಟೆಯಂತೆ ಸಿಂಗರಿಸಿಕೊಂಡು
ಎದೆ ಭಾರವ, ಸ್ತ್ರೀ ನಾಚಿಕೆಯ ಪ್ರದರ್ಶಿಸಿ
ಕಾಯುತ್ತ ನಿಂತಿರುತ್ತಾರೆ, ಲಜ್ಜೆಗೆಟ್ಟು? ಮಾನಗೆಟ್ಟು?

ಯಾರದೋ ಮೊದಲ ಸಲದ ಆಸೆಯ ತೀರಿಸಿ
ಇನ್ಯಾರದೋ ಅತಿ ಕಾಮುಕತೆಯ ನೀಗಿಸಿ
ಬೆಳಗಾಗುವುದರೊಳಗೆ ಮಾಯವಾಗುವ ಮಾಯಿನಿಯರು

ತುಂಬಿದೆದೆಗಳ ಹಿಂದೆ ಅವಿತಿರುವ ಭಾವಗಳೆಷ್ಟು?
ಬಣ್ಣ ಕಳೆದ ಮೇಲೆ ಹರಿವ ಕಣ್ಣೀರ ಕಥೆಯೇನು?
ಯಾವ ತಾಯಿ ಹೆತ್ತ ಮಗಳೋ ಹೀಗೆ ಬಾಳಲು?!

ಅರಿವಿರದ ನಿರ್ಲಜ್ಜೆಯಿಂದ ಮೂದಲಿಸುತ್ತೇವೆ ನಾವು
ಅವರ ಬಾಳಿನ ಪಥವ ನಡೆದವರಷ್ಟೇ ಬಲ್ಲರು
ನಿರ್ಭಾವುಕರೇ ಇವರು? ತುಂಬಿದೆದೆಗಳ ಮಾನಿನಿಯರು?

ಭಾಶೇ

Shut Eyes

Busy with my battles,
I shut my eyes

When I opened them today,
Oh! I have missed the growth in you
The colors you have picked up
The blossoms that have flowered
The fruits that have ripen now
Alas! I had shut my eyes

Its lightening, raining, thunder storms
Hailstones fall making a beautiful noise
Walk with an umbrella is music to ears
The cooling breeze makes me sing and dance
I have missed the nature’s bliss,
Alas! I had shut my eyes

There is a new baby, a blissful wedding
A new car, house and holiday hanging
Oh! That color, that dress, that new cuisine,
All that has come, that I wish
I lost days being busy within me,
Alas! I had shut my eyes

I hear new music every minute now,
I see dance in natures every turn
I cherish the sweet, the sour and the bitter
Everywhere I see, its only glitter
Well, it’s all so calm and so very nice
Am glad! I haven’t shut my eyes!

BhaShe!

The one way door out! – Suicide!

Woke up very disturbed this morning, Jiah Khan committed suicide? Heard it on the radio and could not stop thinking about it. What would have gone so bad, so wrong that she killed herself? Didn’t she think of her parents, family, who would be devastated by this act of hers? How and why did she decide to quit? Why did she become so harsh on herself? What went so wrong that she thought it cannot be fixed at all? I am really puzzled and upset.

I know, you might be thinking, that girl made only 3 films, made more controversy than making films, why am I so upset? I am upset because I saw a very daring, sweet, touching girl in her when I saw ‘Nishabd’. I know it’s just a movie, but I liked her, liked her a lot! I kinda felt, she lived one of my dreams. I was happy for her. Somewhere, some point, I saw myself in her. That attitude, that presence, somewhere.

She is no more now! I like to deny that, I do not want to believe it. I am upset. No matter how bad or challenging life goes, I am against suicide, till the point where you have your blood, family surrounded. Am I?
Or is it the thought that, instead of being alive and not just suffer from pain personally, but keep hurting closed ones, it is better to end, put a full stop to both ends.

I don’t know! All I now know is, her death disturbed me, making me think more about life!

In the long run, I may not miss her, I may not even remember her, she might just be a faded memory in life, but yes, I do believe she lived one of my dreams, and that way, we will always be connected!

BhaShe!

Walk on

Every step I take, hurts like crazy
Still I walk further, I go on
I know it hurts for a reason

My body is frozen, but my heart is warm
For the hungry stomach, I give food for thought
I walk further, even when all my ribs hurt

Stones, thorns, pierce my foot
Hailstones hit me and hurt me hard
Though I walk, I am directionless

Pain to pleasure is an awful journey
Path throws up unknown challenges
Every turn I take, shocks me to death

I walk further, alone, strong and weak
Though torn to pieces, putting myself together
I am in search of inner peace, sanity

Not knowing what is real and what is not
Not knowing right or wrong, lightless
I walk on in the dark, even when it hurts to death

BhaShe

Moving Forward

You can’t bathe in the same river twice
It moves forward, says a philosopher
I am moving forward too
Growing old and fat, funny and wise

Life is unique for everyone
It’s like watching modern art
Interpretations and experiences
Give meanings to spread colors

With wide open arms
I enjoy the skies, the blues
Season is changing, from within
New boundaries, new limitations

I am moving forward, everyday
I am growing, getting better, stronger
I am becoming what I am meant to be
A big, strong, beautiful and fruitful tree

BhaShe

You don’t know the angel in you

When I sleep, taking deep breath
I smell the awesomeness you have
Just when I am about to catch
You hop on to your horse and vanish

The good and bad always coexist
As is the beauty and the beast
You do good deeds and bad
Like one is happy and sad

Like the colors collide in a rainbow
Like expressions set our eyebrows
Like in and out our lungs go,
It’s that natural to live a mixed life

Sun rises and sets as earth turns
Mind and body has its poisons to churn
The equal and opposite reaction
Is not something said for the sake of fun

You don’t know the angel in you
You don’t know the demon in you
You use them like they are meant to be
But the angel in you always scores more

BhaShe

Anger

Blood has boiled to a point
We deny identifying each other
All the efforts to make us joint
Has blasted back like a blunder

Fire in our breath
When thought of each other
We grind our teeth
When we see each other

Hate and grudge has sunk in
And made our hearts cold
With all the hurt within
Words are thunder and bold

Desire to tear open
Each other and our chest
Pour out the venom
And give anger some rest

Though the outcome
Is not something I can imagine
But the thought of peace
Makes it sound all worth it

BhaShe

Spider Trap

Am not water flow from a tap
That you can make flow and stop
I am Ganges, perennial river, waterfall
What have you got? Come on, bring it all

Am not a puppet in your hands
That you can play or decide to throw
I have my emotions, smiles and wounds
Some vanish but some increase as I grow

Am not a phone you can put off or switch on
Either you are with me, or you are gone
Am scary and damaged, twisted and dark,
Being with me, has proven to be a treatment of shock

The blame is on me, I get it, I agree
But will I ever change? Not even a degree
Hell with my life, is just my attitude now
My past is hung up to my tomorrow and now

You have fallen in a bottomless well
I am sorry, but getting out will be hell
Out of sight goes out of my mind
Sulk away and may be on you I'll be kind

BhaShe

Taking Charge

My own hands
Tied my own legs
In my own golden chain

Don’t know when,
Don’t know how,
Gold turned to iron

What I liked
What I wanted
Became a burden on me

What I thought
What I expected
Made me lose my glee

I felt owned
I felt drowned
I felt I was responsible

For my today
For my past
As it became disgustful

Neither in nor out
I carried my scout
To know and fix what’s wrong

Though tough
Though difficult
I know I have to be strong

Took an axe
In my shaking hands
To cut myself lose

Even if it hurts
Or cut my legs off
Am sure I won’t snooze

BhaShe

Decided Destiny

Staring at a moonless sky
With thousands of stars twinkling
I think about the past and the future
And wonder what I have done!

Those stones, I thought diamonds
And diamonds, I threw away for pearls
Those decisions I made which went well
And which have now become mistakes

The hearts I broke and got mine broken
The hearts I am about to break
The decisions I am going to make
And the results it would lead to

The second chances in life and
The dead ends we come across
The smiles and tears that came together
And the hope that future holds for us

I tell myself, change is constant
Life needs balance, in all aspects
The pull and the push, that has been done
And what might change when breaks applied

I ponder and decide, I am right
And I am responsible for what I am
And will continue to be responsible enough
To manage my life, like it deserves

BhaShe

Wronged

Every time you abandon me
I ask this to myself
What did I do wrong?

My pillows get wet with tears
My heart aches with pain
With the question in my head

All of a sudden you vanish
And all of a sudden you come back
I keep wondering what I did

Is that only anger you have?
Or you feel love for me too
I never have understood

If you don’t need me
Say it, I might get over with it
I may not need you too

If my life or death does not matter
Then am dead to you already
Stop making me die everyday

Have I done anything wrong?
And why has anything hurt you
The puzzles I never understand

You keep punishing me
With pain, deserting and silence
I keep asking what I did wrong.

BhaShe

Surprises

So much noise
Is it in my head?
I hear conversations
Am I talking to myself?

Waves keep forming
Like thoughts in my head
Everything is scattered
Like the moonless night

Some are singing, far away
Some songs are written here
Should I laugh or should I cry
My disturbed mine does not try

Yesterday, today and tomorrow
Has nothing changed or everything has?
Different tunes that flow from all over
Make me think I am lost in a different world

Is this high inside my mind
Because of what I been through
Or what I have seen and become
I need to make peace with myself

The melodies of songs heard
Fades away as time passes
Till I encounter such bliss again
The dead that is alive, lives

Waves and thoughts form and fade
Change is the only constant
I keep wondering and discovering
New sides of mine everyday

BhaShe

I heard him speak to my soul

When the unheard stories were told
When the decisions were wrong and bold
When my heart froze and body went cold
I heard him speak to my soul

A soft whisper in my ears when am asleep
To make the decision, to add faith to the leap
What has been given, to understand it and keep
I heard him speak to my soul

Nurture or murder is not in my hands but his
Preserve or destroy were games of his bliss
I’d close my eyes in faith and let all this miss
As I heard him speak to my soul

Lift from where I am to where I want to be
Journey from cuffs and ropes to the free
The power and pleasure of enlightenment and glee
As I heard him speak to my soul

It was when I was on the wrong path
When I could not tell between dreams and fact
When I thought all I had was gone and lost
Then I heard him speak to my soul

BhaShe

I’ll never let you miss me

Like air, like light, like the stars
Like the universe, like mars
In Bangalore, like bars
I’ll always be around
I’ll never let you miss me

Bore you with jokes
Remind you with pokes
Do stupid mocks
But I’ll never let you miss me

Even if you think am mad
When either or both are sad
Be it good or be it bad
I’ll never let you miss me

When you are angry and fight
When you are drunk, fully tight
When your days are dark or bright
I’ll never let you miss me

Even if you go away and stay
You want to forget me and stray
Even when am buried in a grave
I’ll never let you miss me

I love you now and forever
I’ll forget or ignore never
I give you my word, clear,
I’ll always be around
I’ll never let you miss me

BhaShe

Making up with Past!

How do you make it up to a heart you broke?
How do you make him speak?
How do you accept all that is done?
And believe the mistakes are none?

Life is never a walk on the cake
Every emotion is at some stake
When you think you have forgotten
A memory comes back hurt and rotten

Yesterday never comes back
Dead days never talk
All that has passed is now to be used to
Not east getting out of what one is gotten into

If only it does not hurt anymore,
Being there for each other matters much more
If only what is done can be put behind
Then some good memories retain in our hand

BhaShe.

Becoming Strangers

We were strangers,
Wish we had remained that way,
The curiosity about each other
The eagerness to know
The excitement of knowing
Spending time with each other
Every day, every minute
The awareness scale increased

Today, we are again strangers
But half known to each other
So much anger and pain
So much of miscommunication
So much misunderstanding
Every conversation is a fight
Jokes are taken seriously
And life has become a joke

What all broke in this transition
Countless promises, couple of hearts
Many smiles are dead, silence is silenced
So much told, so much to tell
Half complete sentences all around
The chirpiness has died, so has fun
Sharing has been forgotten long ago
It’s now a walk on the grave yard

Will we ever be friends again?
Will you ever crack those silly jokes?
Will I ever laugh at them like I did?
Can it become as fresh as it was?
Questions list keeps going
Answers are afraid to come closer,
As we have turned out to be now,
Walk away as strangers to each other.

BhaShe

Quest

If all those stones I threw had reached you
You would have melted like an ice cube
If you had heard those painful songs of my heart
You would have taken me in to your world
If you had held my hands at every emotional moment
Our hands would have become one and glued forever

You are god, omnipresent, the one who sees and knows it all
Am just a human, you have made me with lot of emotions
All I want is to be back in your arms, loved by you
And to know that you are with me forever, no matter what
But all I hear from you is silence, ignorance and avoidance
How should I survive?
When I don’t know
Whether the one I love, loves me back or not,

Give me the capacity to live, when you are silent
Give me the courage to take the pain when you ignore me
Make me stronger to face it when you avoid me
And have a smile on my face and light many more

I am in the quest of finding you and reaching you
And when I do, I have questions to ask
I want to carry a face, to which you would answer
And make you fall in love with me once and forever
Are you listening, my love?
Give me one sign that says you are still with me.

BhaShe

Just the way you asked me to…

Am with you just the way you asked me to
Staying by your decision, doing what you ask
Sharing only things that you’d want me to
Putting my joys and sorrows behind the mask

You know I too have a heart which feels
Hiding my emotions is a difficult task
I’ll always be in love with you but
I know, knowing you, anything is too much to ask

Knowing I don’t matter, no more,
I still take steps towards you
I run, I hide, and I let those minutes pass
When am about to say how much I love you

You are sugar coated poison
Sweet to start but death is the fact
I am glued to you, inseparable
What an irony, or is it gods act

I will always be with you
When you stretch your hand to reach
Those promises, feeling and emotions are true
But my limitations, am not going to breach

BhaShe

Steps to His House

Sometimes it rains unintentionally
Brings up the forgotten wind
Sometimes the Gods speak when they are kind
Sometimes what is lost is not to find
But to unwind, and join its own kind
Sometimes it’s just heart not mind

When he speaks, winds blow
Carrying the message nice and slow
Let those dried leaves and clouds follow
In the sunset, when it’s all mellow
It’s not for all, not for none, fellow
Only open ears comprehend and swallow

It gets inside like melting sugar
No efforts required, no trigger
Peace inside grows bigger and bigger
No matter what you are, rich or beggar
Light never discriminates, neither the giver
All that melts in makes one, only better

Easy to miss when his voice passes by
In so many voices that has spread around the sky
Let those rains and wind tell when it is close by
Let the stars twinkle when the sky is dry
Let the doors to heart be open, ears and eye
Let his voice be heard and message convey

When he has been heard, world turn around
Freedom from all those that is bound
Realization of life, what goes comes around
When in his shelter, no other sound is found
Let go those lies, false ego and pride
When surrendered, his voice will all be heard

BhaShe

Your Happiness Matters

When you fight your battles
Struggle with wounds and scars
Make your own choices
And agree or disagree to live with them
Your happiness is what I desire

When you decide to stay on longer
Or move out and start afresh
Make mistakes but learn from it
Get hurt but raise like a phoenix
Your happiness counts the most

When I see you happily being in pain
Learning lessons from what is past
Move on with life and enjoy what you do
I forget your sufferings and cherish your success
Your happiness is what I seek

I am concerned about your sufferings
I cry when I see you go through pain
I wish to jump and help you out all the way
But I restrain to see how you cope up
Your happiness is what makes me sustain

I don’t want to help you and spoil the lesson
Don’t want to jump and snatch your comfort
Don’t want to handhold and imprison you
But let you go your way, with happiness
As your happiness is the only thing that matters

BhaShe

How Much Wait

How much can one wait
When seconds turn into days
Hours into centuries
When silence is what prevails

How much can one wait
When heart stops beating
When breathing is troubled
When only the waited is seen

How much can one wait
To get in touch with love
To hear from loved one
To hug a loving person

How much can one wait
And keep the expectation going
To get the bliss and joy
To make a milestone in life

How can one know when to stop waiting
To say no regrets what so ever
To leave the love one waited for
And to stay with the decision made

How much wait is enough
To decide to turn back and move
To give up on the hurting wait
To unintentionally hurt the other

BhaShe

Wormhole

Am tying down those flying butterflies
They do not have any business anymore
I have to manage my life with
All the irrevocable damage they have made

Am cutting those wings of my dreams
Which have flown far far away
I need to bring them back and cage them
And feed only seeds of reality

Am hunting down those thoughts that ran
And clear the tracks of past and future
I need to keep my legs on the ground
And stand, before I plan to make any move

There have been multiple realities
All I have is what I had asked for
All I want to be, is also what I have asked for
Now it‘s my turn to turn the tables, to change life’s path

Am turning back to what I wanted to be
And make those dead dreams a reality
My today is what I have made, so is my tomorrow
Let past be the future and current be forgotten

BhaShe

Never Again

Never again
I shall beg you for love
Beg you for care and support

Never again
I shall push myself
And get pushed back so hard

Never again
I shall punish myself
When you part away from me

Never again
I shall stalk you
When you purposefully avoid

Never again
I shall invite and offer
And get rejected so bad

Never again
I shall think or discuss
And discard the suggestions

Never again
I shall let my heart
Fall for what you say

Never again
I shall cry for you
Or show you how much I love you

BhaShe

Ghost from the Past

I forgive you, ghost from the past
Go, make your nest in my tomorrow
I will feed you with peace of mind
And let you create your world

My extensions are wide
My roots are deep and strong
You can bring storm and drought
Your efforts will never last long

I have the power of enlightenment
I have the power of love and care
You create and unveil the stories of past
Nothing but you will go bare

Heart that pumps blood to my veins
Is as strong as it was never before
You might bring up all my ruins
I won’t go back there, anymore

I forgive you my ghost from the past
But I will not forget your existence
This is the only way to make my future
I will never give up my perseverance

BhaShe

Tug of War

In this tug of war
Of egos
I get stubborn
And so are you

How dare you
Not speak to me
Till when
I should always understand?

You ignore me
So easily, daily
Tit for tat
I hurt you too

You don’t call
That’s your decision
I never text
We both keep silence

I don’t wanna give up
You have too much pride
In this tug of war of egos
Dies our orphaned love

I love you
Guess you love me too
The fight and the distance
Has ruined the sweetness of life

For the last time
You come back to me
And I’ll say sorry
Let’s not drag this anymore

I’ll say I love you
Take me in your arms
I’ll write you a poem
Let’s be in love again

BhaShe

Expectations

Dying fire
No firewood in stock
Am afraid no means
To keep the warmth
I expect the fire to burn
And stay alive

In a hurricane
When the clouds and wind
Have taken over the sky
I expect the sun to shine
To light up the world
To kill the darkness

Music from broken strings
Sweetness from neem
Rainbow in drought
And love from desert
My expectations are always
Always, just wrong

Untamed mind
Runs around
Expecting the impossible
My hurt heart
Keeps crying
Failing to control mind

BhaShe

Decided

Strange was the path
Strange was my decision
It looked like a dream
Now it is reality

Was it meant to be
Different from every angle
Different from every distance
Not as it seemed in dream

Decided to go along
I changed my world
Chased out so many
Welcomed so little

Now you arrive
Unwelcomed
Changing my world
What I have become

Why cannot I be
What I decide to be
Why should I be influenced
Why is it not simple

My path
Is not mine anymore
Its not the way I wanted
Its not the best

BhaShe

NO MORE

Afraid? NO MORE
I know I have to stand on my own and fight
I now fairytales are just amusing stories
I know now, nothing else should matter

Tears? NO MORE
No one wants a share in my sadness
No one wants to know what I am going through
No one cares about my happiness

Being Hurt? NO MORE
No one wants to listen to me
No one is bothered about my silence
No one cares if am alive or dead

Botheration? NO MORE
Only when I am smiling, I am approached
Only when I show off, I am considered
Only when I pretend, I am admired

Pain? NO MORE
All I care is about myself now
I am the only person in my world
I decide my life, and my terms

Emotions? NO MORE
Take a back seat, go hide your self
You are not required any more
Brain rules my world now

BhaShe

Flower

I had a beautiful flower with me
I grew it with my own effort
It was beautiful and attractive
Colors never fade, smell never dies

I wanted you to have it
I offered it to you
I had no other intention but,
To give you what I possessed

You were attracted so you came close
You liked it and wanted to have it
You hesitated and walked away
Doubting, I have hidden intentions

All I wanted was you to have it
I want nothing in return, ever,
I get happiness in giving it to you
If you get happy accepting it from me.

BhaShe

Nishabd

This one says, he is 60 , she is 18, some love stories are never meant to be understood. May I make a claim to have understood the love story?

This is another unusual types of movies in bollywood. Starring Mr. Big B, Revathi and Jiah khan. It is shot in a very beautiful location and made me fall in love with the place where it is shot.

Am not going to write the plot, as that you can get on google any minute. So…, Jia seems to have had a rough childhood missing her dad. Her mom is a divorcee and is now moved to living with another man. Jia hates her step dad. She is a very free spirited girl… like an 18 year old should be. Careless, free, fun, witty, attractive and sexy. She has interest in writing and has a dairy where she writes her poems and hides it from the world.

Vijay, is a 50+ish old photographer. He owns a tea estate and his house is in the midst of the estate. Amazing natural beauty. He treks around capturing the beauty of nature in his camera. Happily (??) married for 27 years. His daughters friend is Jia.

Jia comes to Vijya’s place for holidays. She has some strange kind of interest in Vijay. Very easily some girls show interest in elder men and change their world bit by bit till it actually turns upside down. Here too it happens that way. This starts with Vijay capturing the beauty of Jia in his camera, while she was playing with water. Jia looks really amazing, attractive and sexy to his eyes. She notices him clicking her picture and forces him to show them to her. They get close with each other slowly and steadily.

I think because she missed the love of her father, she tried to get close with Vijay to get that love she missed. But when you are beautiful and sexy and attractive, and you are asking for love, coziness and comfort from a man, it can easily be mistaken. Vijay has some strange attraction towards this young girl. The story moves forward, keeping one engaged. Anybody can guess the plot looking at the title and poster. It is that predictable, but the story line is very tight and keeps the audience involved.

There is an element of lustful love that appears between these two. They do pillow fight, share poetry, develop images together, they get cozy but the feelings attached keep changing and growing. They say, love cannot be hided, no matter what. That’s what happens here too. After this, there is a lot of drama.

What made me like this movie is the concept that an 18 year old girl, who tries to find father’s love in a 50+ old man and falls in love with him. As she is free and naughty, she does not hesitate to get intimate with him and kiss him. She does not hesitate to show him how young and beautiful she is. Show him how sexy she is. Also, how easily the old man’s life is turned around, learning an 18 year old girl has fallen for him. He dresses up better, keeps up a happy mood, he cherishes every second he spends with her.

What happens in the end is a tragedy. I cannot think of a better ending though. She comes like tsunami in his life and goes off like a tornado. This movie is WOW!

Sowmyashree Gonibeedu

Questions

You tell me you are there when I need you
How would I know that you are what I need?
I love you so much, that I need you always

How do I know when all should I reach you?
Emotional, mental, physical, financial, what crisis?
Are you the number I should put on emergency contact?

What would you do when I reach you in need?
Listen to all my sad stories and console me?
Provide solutions or be the solution to my problems?

How will you relate to me or to my problems
When you are not in touch and are long gone
When I reach you only when am in need and not otherwise

What if, you are not able to be there when I need you?
How would I take that additional disappointment?
Complain about your non-availability with you??!!

Would I need you when am happy or is it only for pain?
How many times would you wipe off my tears with patience?
Won’t you drift away, bored of being my punching bag?

You tell me you are there when I need you
Will you really be there? How can I believe you?
Being just a phone call away is not being there always…

BhaShe

Being Krishna

You have been named after a wrong god
Neither creator nor the demolisher you are,
You are the naughty and the nice, Krishna

You are tall, dark and attractive like him
Long and strong arms that could
Go around any girl for seven rounds

Same innocence on your face
With deep and lit eyes
And cute and naughty smile

Your eyes speak as if they never lie
Your smile lights up any dull face
Your lips are like the fresh petals of roses

When you look or talk
It’s no less than music from flute
Girls gather around you

They give you all they have
You are at liberty to choose
You make all of them happy

A kiss to one and a hug to another
Just hold hands and walk otherwise
You give what any girl wants and desires

You have some magic in you
That makes any and every girl want you
It’s like nature, and you obey its rules

Does that make you a bad boy, a flirt
No it does not, as you are capable of
Being with only that girl, who is with you

Will you ever belong to anybody?
Will you ever commit your heart to one?
Guess, you are never a one women man

How can you commit, when you have had so many
How can you be loyal, when the world is just beauty
How will you stop, when you are offered great pleasure

Who cares about loyalty and commitment
When you are so charming and amazing
All that one can get is a great deal

You never hurt anybody
Or deny and disappoint any pleasure
You are what is called ‘making everyone happy’

How right or how wrong is that
Is not my question to ask
No one seems to have acquired that right on you

You are a messenger from the Gods of Love
Or is it the Gods of Lust, Sex and Temptation
But you are not human, that’s all I know

You provide with what is natural
You make anybody’s world a better place
You spread love, peace and happiness

I do not wish to wish you anything
You have all that anybody asks for
All I say is, it’s lovely to see love around

BhaShe

Secret Temptation - Ad

“Sorry boys”, that’s what the ad says, but sorry ‘secret temptation’, your current ad on how to get a gift from a boy is lame.

I was upset watching this ad. Are we not in the century where women is independent, self sufficient, strong and level headed? Using a deodorant to attract a boy is different, and that we have seen in some ads, but to get gifts from him, how insensitive is that? Is this ad trying to portray that girls are cheap and do this to get gifts from boys? I think it is a very generalized and inappropriate remark on women.

Look at the ad once again. Starts with “how to get a gift from boys”. Wearing ‘secret temptation’ is the way to do. So, to get a gift, that too from somebody you work with, go to him and tell him that the gift was good. When he is puzzled about the complement, tell him it might be the other guy in the office. WOW!! How does people come up with such mean ideas? And again, it works, the guy gets a gift box. Superb!

Can’t we have some more sensible ways to advertise the product?

This, for me, is a very B‘Ad’!

Sowmyashree Gonibeedu

One sided

One sides is when it is pure
Like river which doesn’t flow back
Like rain drops that only falls from the sky
Like sunlight that gets beamed out

Mountains don’t ask rivers to come back
They give all they can and stay happy
Clouds never ask for anything in return
Pour out all they have and fly away

Untold, not conveyed, neither from eyes, not heart
Just feel it inside, let it flow, glow and burn
Preserve to cherish and not exhibit to enjoy
Cover oneself with the beauty and addicting aroma

One sided is when it stays so pure
Stays in heart forever, stays for life
Like, making dream part of real life
Love is at its best, when it is one sided.

BhaShe

Perfume: The story of a........ (unusual boy)

This one, I watched it long time back.

While switching channels I caught up with this one, and it interested me, so watched it completely. Majority of my movie watching happens like this. I watch TV very much, but follow very few programs, and that leaves me with switching lot of channels and watching a lot of movies. Anyway, let’s leave that part there.

This orphan boy with amazing capacities to identify smells is the concept of the movie. He can smell things from distance and say what it is. I was thrilled by the concept itself. How can one think that people can have supernatural capacities in smelling and that to be taken as a concept for a movie. He grows up without exploring the world. When he does, the movie takes it turns.

I knew that all of us have our own smell. I figured it when I was in school when I was with my cousin. She is a very beautiful girl and she had/has an amazing smell. It’s not her soap, not perfume, or anything she uses. It’s her natural smell. This point was proven when I read a survey/study that said the more beautiful the girls are, better their perfume is. Some blindfolded test and sampling and everything was done to come to this result. I agree that we have our own natural perfume.

Coming back to the movie, when this grown up comes out of the factory he was working with and goes out to another city, he finds so many smells that he is thrilled. His life changes. He finds out how to make perfumes and whatever he does is a huge success. The smell we carry does have an influence on other people, and hence the perfumes he creates, became always wanted and they make this boy learn new tricks and new things about life. He goes out in search of perfumes and whatever he does to create the most perfect perfume is what is the concept of the movie.

Shot nicely, beautiful places, good acting and good hold on the script. I would love to watch this movie any number of times.

Sowmyashree Gonibeedu

Online Store Ads

Flipkart

Kids with adult voices, witty with innocence makes this ad very likeable. Be it the laptop ad, or the one emphasizing on payment on delivery or the faultlessness of the products, these ads are just entertaining.
The laptop ad where 2 cute gals are in a parlor getting their face and hair done, talk about boyfriends and gifts. Expressions of these cuties are so good, that too when one asks the other “kahan hai smarty aaj kal?” is amazing. The voices used are very expressive and say it all.
The one emphasizing on “cash on delivery” where the elder generation dad is not ready to pay online and two guys talk about that, the pause and stare at the fellow female colleague, smartly done.
Latest one talking about, decide looking at a photo/image of the product and relating that to yesteryear marriages, is also very good. The concept, expressions, voices, costume, too good. I won’t change the channel when these ads are on.
Also the one that tells that faulty product will be replaced, using the wrong remote, so natural and happens with day to day life. So nicely done.

I think this has made an influence on Indian buyers already. I see a lot of my colleagues shopping online for books, shoes, clothes now. They select T-shirts, customize them and get it delivered to office and pay. Books are also bought online and it has cost advantage too. sometimes, if not for shopping, these websites are checked to know the new styles and brands and what suits the best with the budget. Sometimes, when these sites are browsed for checking and education purpose, some online shopping also happens.

Flipkart is not the only player in the market with a creative ad. There is zabong, myntra, so many coming up now. But I think flipkart has the first mover advantage and with its strong ad campaign with unique ads, it has grabbed the top of the mind recall space of large audience. Not just online shops, but also the ones where used items are sold, are taking a stronger portion of the shopping basket of an Indian. Looks like a picking up trend, not just with tech savvy guys, but also with normal people.

I welcome more such creative ads and enjoy watching them.

Sowmyashree Gonibeedu

The Shawshank Redemption

The only mistake I made was I read the story way before watching the movie. I heard about this movie from my colleagues who went gaga about the movie. It was on my watch wish list. ZStudio played this one few days ago.

Very simple and intelligent plot, story gets hold of you so very tightly that you would not even want to get up to pee. Every actor has underplayed their roles that you keep wanting for more. A banker gets two life sentences accused of two murders. He lives by himself in the jail in the beginning and makes his set of friends very slowly. Smart banker wins over a lot of people by helping them with a lot of things. He even wins the confidence of the warden. he understands the system there and plays with it for his benefit. Never lets out what his plan is. Does a very smart plan and escapes from the jail and had acquired enough money that he can make his future.

The movie talks about accepting changes, getting used as “institutionalized” and what it takes to make an exit from such system. All the characters are justified and are played well. Superb acting, location and hold on the complete film, that is takes you to the place where it happened and makes you part of the movie. I was completely engrossed watching this one.

I think it also carries some lessons too. It tells to take advantage of the situation, not hurry to bend it or change it, but make the best of what has happened and is irrevocable. It tells that if one is smart enough and capable then can do anything from any place or situation one is into. Am still stuck to the walls of the Shawshank prison.

Sowmyashree Gonibeedu