ನೆನ್ನೆ ಸಂಜೆ - कल शाम

ಮಬ್ಬುಗತ್ತಲು
ಬಸ್ ಸ್ಟಾಪಿನಲ್ಲಿ ಒಬ್ಬಳೇ ನಿಂತಿದ್ದೆ
ಸುರಿದ ಮಳೆಗೆ ರಸ್ತೆಯೆಲ್ಲ ಒದ್ದೆಯಾಗಿತ್ತು
ಮರದ ಎಲೆಗಳಿಂದ ಹನಿಗಳಿನ್ನೂ ಬೀಳುತ್ತಿದ್ದವು
ಕೊಚ್ಚೆ ನೀರಿಗೆ ಸಿಗದಂತೆ ನಿಂತಿದ್ದೆ ಕಾಯುತ್ತಾ ಬಸ್ಸಿಗೆ

ಲೈಟ್ ಹಾಕಿ ಕೆಲವು, ಹಾಕದೆ ಕೆಲವು ಬಸ್ಸು ಬಂದವು, ಹೋದವು
ಬೀದಿ ದೀಪದ ಬೆಳಕಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ
ಕಣ್ಣು ಕಿರಿದಾಗಿಸಿ ಬೋರ್ಡು ಓದಿ ಕೈ ಅಡ್ಡ ಹಿಡಿದಿದ್ದೆ ಎಲ್ಲವಕು
ಯಾವೂ ನಿಲ್ಲಿಸಲಿಲ್ಲ! ಎಲ್ಲವೂ ನನ್ನ ಗಮ್ಯವ ದಾಟುವವೇ
ಇದೇನಿದು ವಿಚಿತ್ರ ಇಂದು? ಯೋಚನೆಗೀಡಾಗಿದ್ದೆ

ಛತ್ರಿಯಿಲ್ಲದೆ ಮಳೆಗೆ ಸಿಗುವ ಗಾಬರಿ ಬೇರೆ ಮನದಲ್ಲಿ
ಬಸ್ಸು ಬಿಟ್ಟು ಬೇರಾವುದೇ ವಾಹನಗಳ ಸುಳಿವಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ ರಸ್ತೆಯಲಿ
ಜೋರು ಮಳೆಯ ಶನಿವಾರದ ಸಂಜೆ, ಯಾರಾದರು ರಸ್ತೆಗ್ಯಾಕೆ ಇಳಿದಾರು?
ಮತ್ತೆ ನಾಲ್ಕು ಬಸ್ಸುಗಳು ನನ್ನ ಇರುವ ಗಮನಿಸದೆ ಸಾಗಿದವು
ನಿಲ್ದಾಣದಲ್ಲಿ ಸಹಪ್ರಯಾಣಿಕರಾದರು ಬರಲಿ, ಮನದ ಬಯಕೆ

ನೆನ್ನೆವರೆಗೂ ಕಂಡಾಗೆಲ್ಲ ಕಾಡಿಸುತ್ತಿದ್ದ ಕಾಮಣ್ಣ ಹಾಜರಾಗಬೇಕೆ?
ಸಂಜೆ, ಒಂಟಿ ನಾನು, ಮಳೆ ಬಂದ ಭೂಮಿ, ಮನ ನಡುಗಿತ್ತು
ಅವನ ಸಿಳ್ಳು, ಮಾತುಗಳ ಮಳೆ ಸುರಿಯಲಿಲ್ಲ ಎಂದಿನಂತೆ, ನಾನು ದಂಗಾದೆ
ಅವನ ಕಡೆಗೆ ನಾಲ್ಕು ಬಾರಿ ನೋಡಿ ಸುಮ್ಮನಾದೆ
ಮರೆತೇ ಹೋಗಿತ್ತು, ನೆನ್ನೆ ನಾನು ಕರೆಂಟು ತಗುಲಿ ಸತ್ತುಹೋಗಿದ್ದು
ಮತ್ತೆ ಬಸ್ಸಿಗೆ ಕಾಯುವ ಹಂಗ್ಯಾಕೆಂದು ಗಾಳಿಯಲಿ ತೇಲುತ್ತಾ ಸಾಗಿದೆ.

ಭಾಶೇ


कल शाम

साँझ था,
बस स्टॉप पर अकेली खड़ी थी.
बारिश से रास्ता गीला था
पेड़ों के पत्तों से पानी की बूंदें टपक रही थी
कीचड़ से बचते में बस के इंतजार में खड़ी थी.

कुछ बसें लाइट जलाये कुछ बिन जलाये आई और चली गयी
बिजली के खम्बों पर भी लाइट नहीं थी,
धुंधले से प्रकाश में बोर्ड पढ़ हर बस को रोका था मैंने
किसी ने भी नहीं रोका, सब मेरे गम्य की तरफ ही जा रहे थे
ये क्या अजीब है आज! सोच में पड़ गई.

बिना छाता के बारिश में फंसने का डर था मन में
बस के सिवा कोई ओर वाहन नहीं था रस्ते में
जोर बारिश की शनिवार की शाम थी रस्ते में क्यों कोई आता
फिर से चार बस मुझे बिन देखे चले गई
स्टॉप पर कोई सह यात्री तो आ जाये... मन की आशा

हमेशा छेड़ने वाले सड़क छाप हाजिर हो गया
शाम, अकेली मैं, भीगा हुई रस्ता, मन डर गया
उसकी सीटी, बातों की बारिश शुरू नहीं हुई मैं चौंक गयी!
चार बार उसकी तरफ देख कर चुप हो गयी
भूल ही गयी थी, कल मैं बिजली छू के मर गयी थी

भाशे

Castle

I put my heart and soul in building the sand castle
One strong wave washes it all away
I try and retain some sculptures
Till my energy dies, then I walk back home

Ruined castle haunts me in my dreams
The stories I built around the castle
About the king, about the queen
About their love, war and untold mysteries

I become a part of the castle play,
I play all parts, I am the king, and I am the servant
In the nights, the waves provide the music
Stars my audience and rocks my stage

Sun and moon started talking about the play
Castle now builds on its own
This time it is strong to withstand tsunami
It’s wide enough to accommodate the sky

The waves once ruined my castle, now wash my feet gently
The castle once haunted me, now brings colors to my dreams
With respect, pleasure and pride I stand on the rocks
Watching my castle grow, stand and smile.

BhaShe

Addiction

Every time I cut that thread which binds us
You stretch your arms in my dreams
I come to you, wanting you, loving you

I fight with myself to pull myself out
Out of attachments towards you
I fall deep, I feel more belonged

I am destroyed, ruined, helpless
Lost control and desperate
Your arms have brought me here

I tear off everything and scream loud
I pull myself to get out of your control
You tighten your arms and I fail

I want you is no more, I am addicted to you
You are a poison, I know, still I can’t stop myself
I know you won’t let me go till I turn into ashes.

BhaShe

Letter to a Known Stranger

Dear Stranger,

I am not sure what you will feel after reading this, but what to do? I was not able to resist myself from writing this. I wanted to know from you if I over did something that has stopped you from being what you are?

You are different and I felt it the first day we met. In that filled compartment where I was all surrounded by my family members, relatives and friends, but I was feeling so lonely. None of them found that out. Your eyes caught it the first time you saw me. Even after having so many my people around me my mouth was shut. We just saw each other and I turned my face. Am sure you were looking at me for some time at-least. That’s the reason you still remember me and smiled at me this time.

I liked you in the first look but I was so depressed that day that I never said anything. We continued the journey, you got down first and I missed you till I reached my destination.

Life went on. I never thought I would ever meet you again. I always wanted to meet you and was not sure as I never took any contact details. I dreamt of you meeting me again and making me smile. I felt that you may be able to give me such comfort.

4 years passed and there I was, post graduate, with a job in hand and enough energy and smile to light up the whole world. Life changed me from an introvert to an extrovert. I somehow always attributed that quality of mine to you and gave you the credit for whatever I became. I know you would think that this is so irrelevant and mindless but I felt happy giving you the credit. I felt satisfied doing so.

This time when I met you, though you recognized and smiled at me the feeling of surprise was clearly visible on your face. I think even you never thought that you would meet me again and not for sure with such bright colours. I was all happy and waved my hand when I saw you. I should thank that train.

We spoke this time and we spoke a lot. I told you everything that was there in my heart. I think the saying that only in front of strangers you can empty yourself is so true. I spoke everything and you were all ears to listen. Though the journey was very short it was very sweet and memorable.

This time we exchanged contact details and promised each other that we would write or text. I was happy and thrilled to meet you again. We departed on the railway station taking two different directions.

I was not able to call you or write you for 5 – 6 days as I got lost in some personal work. However influenced by your charming personality I wrote poems on you and was eager to show them to you. I was influenced by you. Here is the poem I wrote for you:

You are always noticed... you are not like them
They are always lost in doing their profit and loss accounts
And you counted smiles and cared for tears

You are always admired... you deserve it
You keep the human being inside you always alive
They live with dead faces

You care and you show you care
You identify people by what they are and not by what you want to see in them
It fills up the identity need

Truthfulness spills out of your eyes
Concern out of every word you speak
People keep their heart open and share secrets with you

You know when to be ears, when to be silent
You know when to crack that joke and pull a leg
You are new age Krishna spreading joy all around

I wish to fine more people like you... more human beings
Who make this world a better place to live
Who donate smile and wipe others tears

Hope you remember reading this poem on the first mail I sent.
I was so excited to have a means to reach you whenever I was down or breaking or feeling low. I felt that you are going to be my source of inspiration always. I showed all my excitement and happiness when I wrote you the first time.

Was that a little too much of happiness and belongingness shown on a stranger? Did I over do it?

You never replied to that mail of mine. Whenever I tried your number it said out of coverage area. I thought that you might be traveling and because of which you were not reachable. So many days passed, now my hope started dying. I thought I had found a treasure, a true great friend, an always trustworthy person but I now I feel I have gone terribly wrong.

You never replied to any of those mails of mine, nor picked my calls or replied to my messages. My dream of having you as a great friend of mine is not shattered. I clearly understand you are avoiding me.

Here, by putting all these words in this letter all I want to tell you is that, I did not expect anything from you other than care and concern. I don’t have any feelings other than being a friend of yours. You have shown disrespect to such pure feelings of mine but I forgive you. I still attribute my success to you and hope to hear from you soon.

I thank you for whatever you were to me and hope to see you again. I hope this letter of mine reaches you.

Anonymous

ಹೂವ ಹಿಡಿವ ಆಟ

ಬೇಸಿಗೆಯ ಬಿಸಿಲು ಮರಗಳಿಗೆ ಬಣ್ಣ ಬಳಿದಿತ್ತು
ಮರವು ಹೂವಾಗಿತ್ತು ಮರವು ಹಾಡಾಗಿತ್ತು
ನೆನ್ನೆ ಹೂವಾದ ಹೂವುಗಳು ಇಂದು ಭೂಮಿಗೆ ಮುತ್ತಿಕ್ಕಲು
ಗಾಳಿಯಲಿ ತೇಲುತ್ತ ಭೂಮಿಗಿಳಿದಿದ್ದವು ಮಣ್ಣಾಗಿದ್ದವು
ಹಾಗೆ ಹಾರಿದ ಹತ್ತು ಹಲವು ಹೂಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ಕೆಲವು ಮಾತ್ರ
ಆ ಹೂವಿನ ಲಂಗದ ಹುಡುಗಿಯ ಕೈಯೊಳಗಿದ್ದವು

ನೆನ್ನೆ ನಾಳೆಗಳ ಚಿಂತೆಯಿಲ್ಲದ ಆ ಪುಟ್ಟ ಹುಡುಗಿ
ಬೆಳ್ಳಂಬೆಳಗೇ ಹೊಸದೊಂದು ಆಟ ಹುಡುಕಿತ್ತು
ಮರದಿಂದ ಭೂಮಿಗುದುರುವ ಹೂಗಳ ಹಿಡಿವ ಆಟ
ತನ್ನ ಪುಟ್ಟ ಬೊಗಸೆಯೊಡ್ಡಿ ಗಾಳಿಯಂತೆ ಸುಳಿದು
ತೇಲಿ ಬರುತ್ತಿದ್ದ ಒಂದೊಂದೇ ಹೂಗಳ ಹಿಡಿಯುತ್ತಿತ್ತು
ಬೊಗಸೆ ತುಂಬಿದಂತೆ ಕಟ್ಟೆಗೋಡಿ ಗುಡ್ಡೆ ಹಾಕುತಿತ್ತು

ಹಾರಿ ಬಂದು ಕಣ್ಣ ತುಂಬುವ ಧೂಳಿಗೆ ಸ್ವಲ್ಪವು ಅಳುಕದೆ
ಕಾಲಿಗೊತ್ತುವ ಕಲ್ಲುಗಳ ನೋವನು ಅನುಭವಿಸದೆ
ಮರದ ಸುತ್ತಾ ಸುಳಿಯುತ್ತಿತ್ತು ಒಂದು ಮಿಂಚಂತೆ
ಅದು ಹೂಗಳ ಅದೃಷ್ಟವೇ ಮೆತ್ತಗಿನ ಕೈ ಸೇರುವುದು?
ಆ ಹುಡುಗಿಯ ಮುಖದ ಮೇಲೆ ನಲಿಯುತಿದ್ದ ನಗು
ಯಾವ ಹೂವ ನಗುವಿಗೂ ಕಮ್ಮಿಯಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ

ಮೇಲೇರಿದ ಎತ್ತರದಿಂದ ಕಷ್ಟಕ್ಕೊಳಗಾಗಿ ಬೀಳುವಾಗ
ಹೀಗೆ ಅಮೃತ ಸ್ತ್ರೀಯರು ನಮ್ಮ ಹಿಡಿಯುತ್ತಾರೆ
ಅವರೊಂದು ನಗುವಿಂದ ನಮ್ಮ ನೋವ ಮರೆಸುತ್ತಾರೆ
ನಮಗೆ ಜೀವದಾನವನೀಯುತ್ತಾರೆ ಹರಸುತ್ತಾರೆ
ಈ ಹೂವ ಬಾಲಿಕೆಗೆ ನನ್ನದೊಂದು ನಮನ ಧನ್ಯವಾದ
ನನಗೆ ಗುರುವಾದದಕ್ಕೆ ಈ ಕವನದ ಸ್ಪೂರ್ತಿಯಾದದ್ದಕ್ಕೆ

ಭಾಶೇ

ಅಪ್ಪ

ಅಪ್ಪಾ
ಇವತ್ತು ನಿನ್ನ ನೋಡ್ತೀನಿ ಅನ್ನೋ ಖುಷಿಗಿಂತ
ಇಷ್ಟು ದಿನ ನಿನ್ನ ನೋಡಿಲ್ಲ ಅನ್ನೋ ಬೇಜಾರು ಜಾಸ್ತಿ ಇದೆ

ಬೆಳಗ್ಗೆ ನಿಮ್ಮ ಜೊತೆ ಮಾತಾಡಿದ ಮೇಲೆ ಕಣ್ಣೆಲ್ಲಾ ಕಣ್ಣೀರೇ
ಅಷ್ಟು ಪ್ರೀತಿಸೋ ನಿಮ್ಮ ಜೊತೆ ದಿನಾ ಇರಕ್ಕಾಗಲ್ಲ
ನಿಮ್ಮ ತಿಂಗಳುಗಟ್ಟಲೆ ನೋಡಕ್ಕಾಗಲ್ಲ, ತಬ್ಬಕ್ಕಾಗಲ್ಲ
ದಿನ ಕಳೆದ ಹಾಗೆ ನಿಮ್ಮ ಬಿಟ್ಟಿರೋದು ಕಷ್ಟ ಆಗ್ತಾ ಇದೆ

ಅಪ್ಪಾ ನಿಮ್ಮ ಪ್ರೀತಿಸ್ತೀನಿ ಅಂತ ಸಾವಿರ ಸಲ ಕೂಗಿದರು
ನಿಮಗೆ ಫೋನ್ ಮಾಡಿದ್ರು, ನಿಮ್ಮ ಫೋಟೋ ನೋಡಿದರು
ನಿಮ್ಮ ನೆನೆಸಿ ದಿನ ಇಡಿ ಅಳುತ್ತ ಕೂತಿದ್ರು
ಸಮಾಧಾನ ಆಗಲ್ಲ ಗಿಲ್ಟ್ ಹೋಗಲ್ಲ

ನಿಮ್ಮ ಅಪ್ಕೊಂಡು ಕೈ ಹಿಡಿದು ನಡೆದ ರಾತ್ರಿಗಳು ನೆನಪಾಗುತ್ತವೆ
ನಿಮ್ಮ ಜೊತೆ ಬೈಕ್ ನಲ್ಲಿ ಸುತ್ತಿದ್ದು ನೆನಪಾಗುತ್ತೆ
ನಿಮ್ಮ ಬಿಟ್ಟು ಇಷ್ಟು ದೂರ ಇರೋದು ಕಷ್ಟ ಆಗ್ತಿದೆ
ನಾನು ಬೆಳೆದಿಲ್ಲ ಪಪ್ಪಾ, ನಾನು ದೊಡ್ಡವಳಾಗಿಲ್ಲ

ಸ್ಕೂಲ್ ಗೆ ಹೋಗೋವಾಗ ಮೀನಂಗಡಿ ಹತ್ರ ನನ್ನ ಸೈಕಲ್ ಮೇಲೆ ಕೂರಿಸಿ
ನೀವು ತಳ್ಳೋವಾಗ ನಿಮ್ಮ ಕಾಲು ಹಿಂದೆ ಹೋಗೋ ಹಾಗೆ ತೋರೋ ನೆರಳು
ವಾಪಾಸ್ ಬರೋವಾಗ ಇಳಿಜಾರಿನಲ್ಲಿ ಬಸ್ಸು ಲಾರಿಗೆ ನಾನು ಹೆದರಿ
ಅಪ್ಪಾ ಎಂದಾಗ ನಿಮ್ಮ ನಗು ಭರವಸೆ
ಗದ್ದೇಲಿ ಹೊಳೇಲಿ ಹೋಗೋವಾಗ ನೀವು ನನ್ನ ಪ್ಯಾಂಟು ಮಡಿಸಿದ್ದು
ನನಗಾಗಿ ನಿಮ್ಮ ಸೈಕಲ್ ನಲ್ಲಿ ಹಾಕಿಸಿದ ಬೇಬಿ ಸೀಟು
ಅಪ್ಪಾ... ನನಗೆ ಈ ದೊಡ್ಡೋಳು ಆಗೋದು ಬೇಕಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ, ನಾನು ಬೆಳೆದಿಲ್ಲ

ನಿಮ್ಮ ಜೊತೆಗಿದ್ದ ಅಷ್ಟು ವರ್ಷ ಅರ್ಥವಾಗದ ಪ್ರೀತಿ
ಈಗ ಹಗಲು ರಾತ್ರಿ ಕಾಡತ್ತೆ ಬಿಟ್ಟಿರುವ ನೋವು ಭೀತಿ
ಇಷ್ಟು ದಿನ ನನ್ನ ಗಂಡನ ಮಾತ ನಂಬಿದ್ದೆ
ಅವನೇ ನನ್ನ ಅತಿ ಹೆಚ್ಚು ಪ್ರೀತಿಸೋದು
ಇನ್ನು ಗೊತ್ತಿದೆ ಅವನದು ಎರಡನೇ ಸ್ಥಾನ
ನನಗೆ ಗೊತ್ತು ಅವನಿಗಿಂತ ಹೆಚ್ಚು ಪ್ರೀತಿ ನಿಮಗಿದೆ ನನ್ನಮೇಲೆ

Missed Call

You are just a phone call away
but never picked those calls when I wanted
I sit quiet in your missed calls list and message in-box
you call me back when am caught in wrong arms
I don't have face to explain

I keep on coming back
you keep on moving far
now you are miles away, always

I wait for you, coz I love you
you are alone, coz you hate me
I beg you now, please turn back
lets start our lives on a new track
I wait for you...
I wait for the new sunshine in my life!

BhaShe

Adult Play Area

Last Saturday me and my friend Sam met and were hanging out. I had loads of things to tell and Sam was all ears. We met near the St. Marks road bus stop in the evening and as we had to leave early, we thought of spending time walking around the place having all possible junk available around.

We started with a pista badam kulfi and about my new look. After that we moved to have something spicy as kulfi was too much sweet and wanted to change the taste of our tongue. Moved to a “Matka Pani poori” vendor close by. We spoke about my spicy poems having the spicy paani poori.

On our way back to the bus stop we saw a very small park. At first it seemed that its not open, but when we went close, we found that it was open. We saw that only an elderly lady was inside, but found out later that a kid was playing inside.

As we stepped inside the park first thing we noticed is 2 swings hanging empty. I screamed out of joy and told Sam, “hey, lets sit on that and talk”. Sam warned me telling that some one will ask us to get up as its for kids, but agreed to sit.

We moved from my poems to some other very interesting topic (sorry! cannot be disclosed) and our chat got spicier. I went on and on with the stuff and Sam had a bright and naughty smile listening to my analysis.

Meanwhile 2 guards came and asked us to get up and sit somewhere else vacating the swing. In few minutes they asked us to vacate as they were about to close the park..
On our way back I saw the board near swing saying “play area for kids below 12 years only”.

We had plenty of other things to talk, we went on and on, having some fresh fruit juice. After good number of reminder calls from our care takers we waved goodbye to each other after this looooong meet. On my way back home, while I was recalling the chat and laughing at myself, that board popped up in my thoughts. Why play area only for kids below 12 years and not for adults?

Are the adults supposed to kill the kids inside them after 12? Even now I go mad on those swings and see-saw when ever I see it. I keep watching those kids who play, wishing I could do it. I will have it in the back of my mind that if I go and play some or the other will come and will ask me to leave the place. So why half satisfy myself? I go fully disappointed.

I would wish, recommend, pray and love to have adult play area. Age no bar, weight no bar. All those fun games that kids play, we should be able to play. See-saw's should not break if 2 people weighing 125 kg sit on them. I would always want to keep that kid inside me alive by doing all these kiddish things.

We stop being naughty and stop being kids after crossing certain age. Though it is very individual, mostly it happens. Responsibilities take over our minds that we get stuck in those things and stop being happy for small things. If I sit on a swing and keep swinging for a long time, that would keep the smile on my intact for at least 2 days. So why should I be deprived of such happiness?

Dig inside, get our naughty quotient high and start being a kid some time of your day. You will laugh more, live more will for sure get more out of life.

I MAKE THIS REQUEST FOR ADULT PLAY AREA – AGE NO BAR, WEIGHT NO BAR! AND U?

BhaShe

ಮೂರು ದಿನ

ತಿಂಗಳಿಗೆ ಒಮ್ಮೆಯೇ ನಾನು ಹೆಣ್ಣು ಎಂದು ನೆನಪಾಗುವುದು

ಆ ಫೂಟ್ ಬೋರ್ಡ್ ಪ್ರಯಾಣಗಳು
ಸಂಜೆ ಏಳರ ಮೇಲೆ ಕೆಲಸ ಓಡಾಟ
ಜೀನ್ಸು, ಟೀ-ಶರ್ಟು, ಜುಟ್ಟಿಲ್ಲದ ತಲೆ
ಸೆಡವು ಧೈರ್ಯ ದರ್ಪ
ಇದೆಲ್ಲದನು ಮೀರಿದ ಆ ಮೂರು ದಿನಗಳು
ನಾನು ಹೆಣ್ಣು ಎಂಬುದ ನೆನಪಿಸುತ್ತವೆ

ಒಂದಷ್ಟು ಕೋಪ ಮತ್ತೊಂದಷ್ಟು ಸಮಾಧಾನ
ಕಾಡುವ ಹೊಟ್ಟೆ ನೋವು ಸೊಂಟ ಬೇನೆ ಸುಸ್ತು
ಮುಳುಗೆದ್ದಾಗ ಮೈಗಂಟಿದ ನೀರ ಹನಿಗಳಂತೆ
ಜಾರಿದರು ಒಣಗಿದರು ಅನುಭವ ಹಸಿ ಹಸಿ ಖುಷಿ
ಆ ಮೂರು ದಿನಗಳು ಎಲ್ಲ ಮರೆತು ಬರೀ ಹೆಣ್ಣಾಗುವ ದಿನಗಳು

ನಿಂತ ಒಡನೆಯೇ ಶುರು ಹಿಂದೆ ನಿಲ್ಲಿಸಿದ ಓಟ
ಮರೆತು ಎಲ್ಲವುದನ, ಹೆಣ್ಣೆoಬುದನ ಕೂಡ
ಒಂದು ತಿಂಗಳು ಕಾಯಬೇಕು ಮತ್ತದು ನೆನಪಾಗಲು.

ಭಾಶೇ

ಹಕ್ಕಿಯ ಮರಣ

ಹಕ್ಕಿಯೊಂದು ಆಗಸದಿಂದ ಬಿದ್ದು ಸತ್ತು ಹೋಯಿತು
ಅದು ಕೊಲೆಯೋ? ಆತ್ಮಹತ್ಯೆಯೋ?
ಭಯದ ನೆರಳು ಉಳಿದೆಲ್ಲ ಹಕ್ಕಿಗಳ ಕವಿದಿತ್ತು

ಅದನ್ಯಾರು ಅದನ್ಯಾಕೆ ಕೊಲ್ಲುವವರು?
ಪಂಜು, ಬಾಣ, ಗುಂಡುಗಳ ಗುರುತಿಲ್ಲ ಅದು ಶಿಕಾರಿಯಲ್ಲ
ವಿಮಾನ ತಾಗುವಷ್ಟು ಎತ್ತರದಿ ಅದು ಹಾರುವುದಿಲ್ಲ
ಅದರ ಕೊಲೆ ನಿಜಕ್ಕೂ ಆಯಿತಾ? ಕೌತುಕ

ಅದು ಆತ್ಮ ಹತ್ಯೆಯಾ? ಅದೇಕೆ ಸಾಯಬಯಸುವುದು?
ಅದಕ್ಕೊಂದು ಗೂಡಿತ್ತು, ಬಾಳ ಸಂಗಾತಿಯಿತ್ತು
ಹತ್ತು ಮಕ್ಕಳು ಹುಟ್ಟಿ ಹಾರಿ ಹೋಗಿದ್ದವು
ಹೊಟ್ಟೆಯ ಬಯಕೆಗಳ ತೀರಿಸಲು ಬರವಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ
ಮೈಯಲ್ಲಿ ಕಸುವಿತ್ತು, ಪರಿಸರ ಸೊಂಪಾಗಿತ್ತು
ಅದು ಆತ್ಮಹತ್ಯೆಯು ಅಲ್ಲವೆನಿಸಿತ್ತು

ಮರಣೋತ್ತರ ಪರೀಕ್ಷೆಯ ಫಲಿತಾಂಶ ಹಕ್ಕಿಗಳ ಭಯವನ್ನು ಇನ್ನಷ್ಟು ಹೆಚ್ಚಿಸಿತು
ಅದು ಕೊಲೆಯು ಅಲ್ಲ ಆತ್ಮಹತ್ಯೆಯು ಅಲ್ಲ
ಅದು ಮರಣ, ಸಹಜ ಮರಣ, ಕೇವಲ ಹಟಾತ್ ಮರಣ
ಬದುಕಿ ಬಾಳಬಹುದಾದ ಯಾರನ್ನೂ ಹೊತ್ತೊಯ್ಯ ಬಹುದಾದ ಸಾವು
ನಾಳೆಗಳಿಗಿದ್ದ ಆಯಸ್ಸನ್ನು ಇಂದೇ ಮುಗಿಸುವ ನೋವು

ಆ ಹಕ್ಕಿಯ ಸಾವು ಬರಿ ಸಾವಷ್ಟೇ ಆಗಿತ್ತು
ಆ ಸಾವಿಗೆ ಕಾರಣವಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ, ಸೃಷ್ಟಿಕರ್ತನಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ
ಸಾವು ಸುಮ್ಮನೆ ಬಂದು ಆ ಜೀವವ ಹೊತ್ತೊಯ್ಯಿತು

ಹಾರಾಡುವ ಹಕ್ಕಿಗಳ ರೆಕ್ಕೆ ಕಡಿದು ತುಂಡರಿಸಿದಂತೆ ಅನಿಸಿತ್ತು
ಯಾರು ಹೇಳುವವರು ಇದು ಅನ್ಯಾಯದ ಸಾವು
ಆದರೆ ಸಾವಿಗೂ ಸತ್ತ ಹಕ್ಕಿಗೂ ಅದ್ಯಾವುದೂ ತಿಳಿದಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ

ಯಾರು ಸತ್ತರೇನು, ಹಾರಾಡುವುದ ಬಿಡಲಾರವು ಹಕ್ಕಿಗಳು
ಯಾರು ಅತ್ತರೇನು, ಪ್ರಾಣ ಹರಣವ ಬಿಡಲಾರದು ಸಾವು

ಆಗಸದಿಂದ ಸುಮ್ಮನೆ ಹಾಗೇ ಉದುರತೊಡಗಿದವು ಹಕ್ಕಿಗಳು
ಭುವಿಗೆ ಬಿದ್ದ ಹಕ್ಕಿ ದೇಹದಿಂದ ಹಾರಿದವು ಪ್ರಾಣಗಳು
ಒಂದು ಕಾಲವೇ ಮುಗಿಯುವಂತೆ, ಒಂದು ಜೈವಿಕ ವಿನಾಶದಂತೆ
ಬರಡಾದವು ಆಕಾಶ, ಮರಗಳು, ಹಕ್ಕಿ ಗೂಡುಗಳು
ಮತ್ತು ಅವೆಲ್ಲವುಗಳ ಸೃಷ್ಟಿ ಕರ್ತ ಕೂಡ
ಏನೆಲ್ಲ ನಿಂತುಹೋಯಿತು ಎಂಬುದರ ಅರಿವು ಯಾರಿಗೂ ಇಲ್ಲ
ಏಕೆಂದರೆ ಎಲ್ಲರೂ ಎಲ್ಲವೂ ನಿಂತು ಹೋಗಿತ್ತು
ಮತ್ತು ಅಲ್ಲಿಗೆ ಅದೊಂದು ಮುಕ್ತಾಯದ, ಪೂರ್ಣ ವಿರಾಮದ
ಅಂತ್ಯದ ಮತ್ತು ಹೊಸ ಆರಂಭದ ಗುರುತಾಗಿತ್ತು

ಭಾಶೇ

Save that Mother

My mom called up a while ago. I have been staying away from her since 9 – 10 years. So you may think I have gotten used to stay away from her. However, when she calls up just to talk to me, just to hear my voice without any control tears roll out. I say and I show that I am strong and not sentimental and all that, but deep inside my heart, am still that 8 year old girl, sitting in the corner of the first bench in 3rd standard, and crying, as my mom leaves the school after dropping me there. I have passed many years, celebrated many birthdays, married, handle a house on my own, and is a responsible wife and employee, but, I still am a small child crying for mom.

I saw the save tiger campaign. After growing so old, I still cry for my mom, then what would be the case of that 3 month old cub, which is entirely dependent on its mom for food and milk, and never gets to see its mom because of the greed of human being.

There is a saying in kannada, “the one who went to fill up a ship, finished his work and came back but the one who went to fill up his stomach never came back as the work never got over”. Are we soo hungry and greedy that we ate more than 38,000 tigers in few years? When ever a human being gets killed, we make court cases, fight for justice and do all drama, but we have killed soo many wild animals ruthlessly just because there is no court case? When a celebrity or a politician dies, we say its an loss to the country, but when the national animal is getting disappeared from the planet, are we not realizing the loss?

I used to get this dream often when I was a kid, that a bunch of these wild animals have came out of forest to my village and out of fear all the females and kids in the village are locked inside the houses and the male population is on mission to chase all these animals away from the village. Recently I also heard from my dad that a cheeta had come to a neighboring village and took a cow. I feel I have to tell all these as only stories to my kids and grand kids looking at the speed in which these animals are vanishing.

I don't know what I can do to save a tiger, I want to know and I want to do whatever possible from my hand to save it. We are a small creation of god with a big gift of thinking capacity. Lets use it to protect other creations of god and not destroy them.

I am moved by the save tiger campaign and shocked to know that there are only a 1000 left in India. If we do not act now, we will not have a chance to act later. Please lets all stretch our hands and do our bit to save the Tiger.

BhaShe

Chapathi Blunder

On 27th Jan 10, I reached home from office at around 9:30 PM. There was nothing available in the kitchen to eat, so as usual me n my hubby though of preparing something easily made. He was in no mood to eat rice, so the next best option available was chapathi.

He went out to get some additional decorative vegetables and leaves for the curry to be prepared.

I went inside the kitchen and for my surprise, the wheat atta box, which was expected to be full had very limited atta. I poured in the atta and felt that it may not be sufficient. So I opened a new bag of atta and poured it.

As the normal process goes, I added salt, oil and water and started mixing the atta. One unusual thing I noticed was that the atta mix was not of wheat color which it is supposed to be, but it had turned a little more white than it is supposed to be.

First I thought that instead of adding wheat atta, I have added rice flour from the new bag I opened. I tasted the atta and it tasted fine also it was getting mixed with the usual stickiness it should have. Fine then... I continued.

Mom called up in the meanwhile. So started speaking with her and told her about my doubt on the color of the mixed atta. Meanwhile my husband arrived and heard me telling this doubt to mom. He too surprised by the color of the atta asked me from which “dabba” I have taken the atta from.
I showed the box and it is the box contained rice flour.

We had the rice+wheat flour chapathi. It was eatable. I have 3 more of those chapathis still in the kitchen. You wanna come and taste?

BhaShe

Crush

He is my new addiction
My eyes keep looking for him
Smile just pass my face when I see him
I just go dumb for a second in front of him

He keeps running around in my thought process
I look for ways to start a talk
I know he is sweet, I know he is smart
I guess this is just a harmless, pass by, crush

I know he will never know or notice this
I guess he may just make fun of this feeling
Yeah! its worth being a joke after a while
I know I will move on without any pain

I get attacked by these crushes some times
They just make me happy, smile a little more
They fade away and I laugh at myself
My box of such unshared memories tickle me after long

BhaShe

Haunted

I am haunted
Your memory drives me crazy
I hear your voice always in my ears
Your shadow follows me even in my dreams

I fail to recognize any face coz I see only you
I always smell your perfume
My hand is always warm as it was when you held them
I don't hear anything other than your name

Your dreamy eyes, your sexy voice
Your naughty smile and thoughts
Loving has become an addiction
Your absence haunts me always

BhaShe

Soul mate not Co-producer

This hunt is for a soul partner and not a co-producer

I like to spend my life with the one whom I love
I am not a man, I am not a woman,
I am a soul trapped inside a body

I like to live with the one whom I love
who cares for me, who's presence is irreplaceable
who wants to be with me as my companion
who is a my kind of person, a human being

I am not a king or a queen
I don't need a heir, I don't have a throne
it is my life, my small simple life
I want to live it my way, only my way

I think beyond the bodies we are attached, for my love
it is compatibility and attachment that matters
my love is beyond and above all social boundaries
I love my life and wants it to be fulfilling

you clean your eyes, I have the purest love
you clean your ears, I have the sweetest words,
you clean your heart, I have the best companion
you and me, we, lets look at this world differently.

BhaShe

Complexities

I simply watch my fellow mates out race me
I feel a need for search... have I lost any thing?
By my intention or not
Now am part of this rat race...!!!

Do I really wanted to be this?
If I follow a great human being in every step
I will just be a bad remake, and not ME!
So where was I? And where is it going?

I still await for some magic,
I still believe in dreams coming true,
now! Alas! My dream box is empty and white
What's waiting for me in the doorstep?

Its hard to understand the amount of let go's
when you are making your self in to “your self”
so many colors around, so many sounds heard
am still a child in this world with barely open eyes

I am standing in a place where
every one else is moving a fast forward motion
thinking whether to be a part of them or not
thinking how not to be part of them and be it always!

BhaShe

My Drama Days!!!

Am going to talk about my theatre and drama days. It’s a colorful feather on my hat.

I was in 6th standard when I did my first drama in school. That was the story of Ekalavya, where I played the role of Ekalavya. I was thrilled as my teachers preferred me over other students in my class and in 7th standard. I was the only one from 6th in the team, rest all were from 7th. I think that was the time I got attracted towards acting.

Then on, though I did not performed in any more dramas (coz none of my teachers were interested in making one) I always wanted to act.

I grew up hearing the stories about my Ajja (mom's dad) doing dramas. I always thought when I grow up and move to bigger cities, I will also be part of theatre.
I grew up, moved to a bigger city, but had no choice to expand my horizon, as I was staying in a jail like hostel. However, when you have the fire inside, it’s hard to hide it.

I was in second year of my graduation when my Kannada sir Mr. Mallesh Gowda decided to make a play for the college day celebrations. Me, and some of his students got selected for the play.

The drama was created based on a story we had about two Rushi's finding out the pain of a poor farmer. He created the script. We all read it good number of times and got ready to put the expressions on.

Practice went on really well and the performance too. So there I was with a new recognition in college.

I had more fun when we played the drama I wrote, for our third year inauguration. That was a comedy flick where an arrogant daughter (I played that role), humble father and sister are hosting a polite guy, his dominating mother and deaf father who have come for bride interview. I had a wardrobe makeover, image makeover after this play. It was a huge success and an unforgettable moment in my life.

For my final year college day celebration, I was part of another drama where I played the role of Yamaraj. It is the only element I remember about that drama.

I moved to a much bigger city, Bangalore. Within 4 months of entering this city, I was part of a theatre group called 'The First Act'. My dreams were true and I was up in the sky when I joined the group.

We organized a theatre festival which was a huge success. Our group also had a play but as I had exams I was not part of the play. I worked for the marketing team and it was fun too.

It’s been more than 2 years that I did all this. Those golden days are safe in my memory and now in my blog too. Another all time attraction in my life - theatre.

Bhashe

ಹೀಗೊಂದು ಬದುಕು

ನಾನು ಬದುಕುತ್ತಿದ್ದೀನಿ ಯಾವುದೊ ಕಥೆಯನ್ನ
ನನ್ನ ನೆನ್ನೆಗಳನ್ನ ನನ್ನ ನಾಳೆಗಳನ್ನ

ಅಮ್ಮ ಹೇಳುತ್ತಿರುತ್ತಾಳೆ, ಹಾಗೆ ನನಗೂ ನೆನಪಿದೆ
ತಟ್ಟೆ ತುಂಬಾ ತುಂಬಿಟ್ಟ ಅಕ್ಕಿ, ರಾಗಿ ಕಾಳಿನಲ್ಲಿ
ಒಂದು ಕಾಳೂ ಹೊರಚೆಲ್ಲದೆ, ಹರವುತ್ತಾ, ಗುಡ್ಡೆ ಮಾಡುತ್ತಾ
ಕೈಯ ಬಳೆಯ ಅದರಲ್ಲಿ ಹುದುಗಿಸಿ, ಮುಚ್ಚಿ, ತೆಗೆದು ಆಡುತ್ತಿದ್ದುದು
ಬೇಸರವೇ ಆಗುತ್ತಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ, ಯಾವಾಗಲು

ಇಂದು, ಒಮ್ಮೊಮ್ಮೆ ನನ್ನೊಳಗೆ ಮಲಗಿರುವ ಮರಿ ಸೌಮ್ಯಳನ್ನು ಎಬ್ಬಿಸುತ್ತೇನೆ
ನನ್ನೊಳಗೆ ನೆನ್ನೆಯ ಜೀವನ ತುಂಬಲು ಪ್ರಯತ್ನಿಸುತ್ತೇನೆ
ನಾಳೆಗಳ ಯೋಚನೆಗಳ, ಭಯಗಳ ಭಾರಕ್ಕೆ
ಎದೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಎದ್ದು ಕುಳಿತ ಮರಿ ಸೌಮ್ಯ ಮುದುರಿ ಮೂಲೆ ಸೇರುತ್ತಾಳೆ
ಅಳುತ್ತಾ ನಿದ್ದೆ ಹೋಗುತ್ತಾಳೆ, ನೆನ್ನೆಗಳು ಬರೀ ನೆನ್ನೆಗಳಾಗುತ್ತವೆ

ನಾಳೆ ಮಕ್ಕಳ ದಿನಾಚರಣೆ, ಎಲ್ಲ ನೆನ್ನೆಗಳು ನೆನಪಲಿ ಸಾಲುಗಟ್ಟಿವೆ
ಶಾಲೆಯ ಸಂಭ್ರಮ, ಆಚರಣೆಯ ಅಧ್ಯಕ್ಷತೆ,
ಆಟ, ಹಾಡು, ಖುಷಿ, ಬಾಲ್ಯ ಎಷ್ಟಾದರೂ ಬಾಲ್ಯವೇ
ನಾಳೆ ಮತ್ತೆ ಮಕ್ಕಳ ದಿನಾಚರಣೆ, ಅದೆಷ್ಟು ವ್ಯತ್ಯಾಸ
ಬಟ್ಟೆ ಒಗೆವ, ಮನೆ ಗುಡಿಸುವ, ಪಾತ್ರೆ ತೊಳೆವ ಚಿಂತೆ

ನನಗೆ ಗೊತ್ತಿಲ್ಲ, ನಾನು ಯಾರದೋ ಕಥೆಯನ್ನ ಬಾಳುತ್ತಿದ್ದೇನೆ
ನಗುತ್ತಿದ್ದೇನೆ, ಅಳುತ್ತಿದ್ದೇನೆ, ಯಾರದೋ ಸೂಚನೆಗಳಂತೆ
ನನ್ನ ದಿನಗಳು ಯಾವೂ ನನ್ನ ಕೈಗೆ ಸಿಗಲೇ ಇಲ್ಲ, ಬಾಲ್ಯವೂ, ಯವ್ವನವೂ
ಆದರೂ ಇದ್ದೇನೆ, ಗೊಂಬೆಯಂತೆ, ಶವದಂತೆ, ಇಂದಿನ ಬದುಕಿನಂತೆ
ನನ್ನ ನೆನ್ನೆಗಳು ನನ್ನವಾಗಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ, ನನ್ನ ನಾಳೆಗಳು ನನ್ನವಲ್ಲ
ನನ್ನ ಇಂದುಗಳು ಕರಗುವುದು ಅರಿವಿಗೆ ಬರುತ್ತಿಲ್ಲ

ಭಾಶೆ

Me on radio

Yes... That’s right. I was on radio in Hassan. It was in 2004 I guess. I was either in my second or in final year of graduation. I had attended a quiz conducted by Hassan FM radio. There were many other folks giving all other sorts of programs. Mr. RJ at that time (sorry for not remembering your name) told me that they have time slots for all sorts of programs including poetry reading. That sounded interesting... Poetry on radio... let me do it. I gave him the diary in which I had written my poems. He selected 7 or 8 of them and said they will suffice for the stipulated time. Wow! I was on the 7th cloud.

Though I had done some radio while attending quizzes and all I was nervous. Practiced for good number of times and yes I was ready at last.

Recording alone was also a wonderful experience. Sitting in the recording room which is sound proof, acting by the instructions of the radio jockey over there, hmmmm I enjoyed every second of it. I think my program was for 15 or 20 minutes. Recording was over and I was out of the room.

Mr. RJ showed me the disk on which my voice is recorded and he played it too. Wow! It was awesome to hear my voice. I was extremely happy.

The broadcast was scheduled for another day. Happily I left the AIR Hassan station.

Fortunately my mom visited me on the day when my poetry got broad-casted as my aunt had come down from California. We all me, mom, aunt, mom's dad, lot more family people were gathered at my grand pa's place.

Portico where we were sitting was dead silent and everyone’s ears were hooked to radio. Yes... It started on time, went on and got over. Every one applauded and congratulated me. Mom was more than happy like me.

I never did radio again. I never thought of doing it or taking it seriously even after observing the buzz of it in Bangalore and even after doing my project on Radio listenership. Now a weak voice inside me calls for doing more. When I hear so many radio stations here in Bangalore, I feel like reaching them, just to know if I can do something here too.

Am writing this blog while listening to radio... and hoping to be part of it in any way.

BhaShe

ಸಮಜಾಯಿಷಿ

ನನ್ನ ಬ್ಲಾಗೇ ನಾನು ನಿನ್ನ ಮರೆತಿಲ್ಲ...
ಸಮಯದ ಅಭಾವ ನನ್ನ ನಿನ್ನಿಂದ ದೂರ ಇಟ್ಟಿದೆ
ಅಗಸ ಗೋಣಿಯ ಕಥೆ ನೆನೆಯಬೇಡ
ಸಲಕರಣೆಗಳಿಂದ ವಂಚಿತಳಾಗಿ ಸುಮ್ಮನಿದ್ದೆ
ಇನ್ನು ಮುಂದೆ ಮತ್ತೆ ನಿನಗೆ ಬಣ್ಣ ಹಚ್ಚುತ್ತೇನೆ
ನಿನ್ನ... ಭಾಶೆ