Thursday, November 12, 2009

ಹೀಗೊಂದು ಬದುಕು

ನಾನು ಬದುಕುತ್ತಿದ್ದೀನಿ ಯಾವುದೊ ಕಥೆಯನ್ನ
ನನ್ನ ನೆನ್ನೆಗಳನ್ನ ನನ್ನ ನಾಳೆಗಳನ್ನ

ಅಮ್ಮ ಹೇಳುತ್ತಿರುತ್ತಾಳೆ, ಹಾಗೆ ನನಗೂ ನೆನಪಿದೆ
ತಟ್ಟೆ ತುಂಬಾ ತುಂಬಿಟ್ಟ ಅಕ್ಕಿ, ರಾಗಿ ಕಾಳಿನಲ್ಲಿ
ಒಂದು ಕಾಳೂ ಹೊರಚೆಲ್ಲದೆ, ಹರವುತ್ತಾ, ಗುಡ್ಡೆ ಮಾಡುತ್ತಾ
ಕೈಯ ಬಳೆಯ ಅದರಲ್ಲಿ ಹುದುಗಿಸಿ, ಮುಚ್ಚಿ, ತೆಗೆದು ಆಡುತ್ತಿದ್ದುದು
ಬೇಸರವೇ ಆಗುತ್ತಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ, ಯಾವಾಗಲು

ಇಂದು, ಒಮ್ಮೊಮ್ಮೆ ನನ್ನೊಳಗೆ ಮಲಗಿರುವ ಮರಿ ಸೌಮ್ಯಳನ್ನು ಎಬ್ಬಿಸುತ್ತೇನೆ
ನನ್ನೊಳಗೆ ನೆನ್ನೆಯ ಜೀವನ ತುಂಬಲು ಪ್ರಯತ್ನಿಸುತ್ತೇನೆ
ನಾಳೆಗಳ ಯೋಚನೆಗಳ, ಭಯಗಳ ಭಾರಕ್ಕೆ
ಎದೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಎದ್ದು ಕುಳಿತ ಮರಿ ಸೌಮ್ಯ ಮುದುರಿ ಮೂಲೆ ಸೇರುತ್ತಾಳೆ
ಅಳುತ್ತಾ ನಿದ್ದೆ ಹೋಗುತ್ತಾಳೆ, ನೆನ್ನೆಗಳು ಬರೀ ನೆನ್ನೆಗಳಾಗುತ್ತವೆ

ನಾಳೆ ಮಕ್ಕಳ ದಿನಾಚರಣೆ, ಎಲ್ಲ ನೆನ್ನೆಗಳು ನೆನಪಲಿ ಸಾಲುಗಟ್ಟಿವೆ
ಶಾಲೆಯ ಸಂಭ್ರಮ, ಆಚರಣೆಯ ಅಧ್ಯಕ್ಷತೆ,
ಆಟ, ಹಾಡು, ಖುಷಿ, ಬಾಲ್ಯ ಎಷ್ಟಾದರೂ ಬಾಲ್ಯವೇ
ನಾಳೆ ಮತ್ತೆ ಮಕ್ಕಳ ದಿನಾಚರಣೆ, ಅದೆಷ್ಟು ವ್ಯತ್ಯಾಸ
ಬಟ್ಟೆ ಒಗೆವ, ಮನೆ ಗುಡಿಸುವ, ಪಾತ್ರೆ ತೊಳೆವ ಚಿಂತೆ

ನನಗೆ ಗೊತ್ತಿಲ್ಲ, ನಾನು ಯಾರದೋ ಕಥೆಯನ್ನ ಬಾಳುತ್ತಿದ್ದೇನೆ
ನಗುತ್ತಿದ್ದೇನೆ, ಅಳುತ್ತಿದ್ದೇನೆ, ಯಾರದೋ ಸೂಚನೆಗಳಂತೆ
ನನ್ನ ದಿನಗಳು ಯಾವೂ ನನ್ನ ಕೈಗೆ ಸಿಗಲೇ ಇಲ್ಲ, ಬಾಲ್ಯವೂ, ಯವ್ವನವೂ
ಆದರೂ ಇದ್ದೇನೆ, ಗೊಂಬೆಯಂತೆ, ಶವದಂತೆ, ಇಂದಿನ ಬದುಕಿನಂತೆ
ನನ್ನ ನೆನ್ನೆಗಳು ನನ್ನವಾಗಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ, ನನ್ನ ನಾಳೆಗಳು ನನ್ನವಲ್ಲ
ನನ್ನ ಇಂದುಗಳು ಕರಗುವುದು ಅರಿವಿಗೆ ಬರುತ್ತಿಲ್ಲ

ಭಾಶೆ

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Me on radio

Yes... That’s right. I was on radio in Hassan. It was in 2004 I guess. I was either in my second or in final year of graduation. I had attended a quiz conducted by Hassan FM radio. There were many other folks giving all other sorts of programs. Mr. RJ at that time (sorry for not remembering your name) told me that they have time slots for all sorts of programs including poetry reading. That sounded interesting... Poetry on radio... let me do it. I gave him the diary in which I had written my poems. He selected 7 or 8 of them and said they will suffice for the stipulated time. Wow! I was on the 7th cloud.

Though I had done some radio while attending quizzes and all I was nervous. Practiced for good number of times and yes I was ready at last.

Recording alone was also a wonderful experience. Sitting in the recording room which is sound proof, acting by the instructions of the radio jockey over there, hmmmm I enjoyed every second of it. I think my program was for 15 or 20 minutes. Recording was over and I was out of the room.

Mr. RJ showed me the disk on which my voice is recorded and he played it too. Wow! It was awesome to hear my voice. I was extremely happy.

The broadcast was scheduled for another day. Happily I left the AIR Hassan station.

Fortunately my mom visited me on the day when my poetry got broad-casted as my aunt had come down from California. We all me, mom, aunt, mom's dad, lot more family people were gathered at my grand pa's place.

Portico where we were sitting was dead silent and everyone’s ears were hooked to radio. Yes... It started on time, went on and got over. Every one applauded and congratulated me. Mom was more than happy like me.

I never did radio again. I never thought of doing it or taking it seriously even after observing the buzz of it in Bangalore and even after doing my project on Radio listenership. Now a weak voice inside me calls for doing more. When I hear so many radio stations here in Bangalore, I feel like reaching them, just to know if I can do something here too.

Am writing this blog while listening to radio... and hoping to be part of it in any way.

BhaShe

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

ಸಮಜಾಯಿಷಿ

ನನ್ನ ಬ್ಲಾಗೇ ನಾನು ನಿನ್ನ ಮರೆತಿಲ್ಲ...
ಸಮಯದ ಅಭಾವ ನನ್ನ ನಿನ್ನಿಂದ ದೂರ ಇಟ್ಟಿದೆ
ಅಗಸ ಗೋಣಿಯ ಕಥೆ ನೆನೆಯಬೇಡ
ಸಲಕರಣೆಗಳಿಂದ ವಂಚಿತಳಾಗಿ ಸುಮ್ಮನಿದ್ದೆ
ಇನ್ನು ಮುಂದೆ ಮತ್ತೆ ನಿನಗೆ ಬಣ್ಣ ಹಚ್ಚುತ್ತೇನೆ
ನಿನ್ನ... ಭಾಶೆ

Monday, September 7, 2009

Anna and Kannada Tili Saaru

Hello dear readers.

Do not expect for some adventures in kitchen. Though I have less amount of experience in kitchen till now what ever I have prepared, has come out very deliciously. So this article is not a comedy or horror show to you. Its just sharing of my experience in kitchen.

Before you even think that am sharing some new dishes or something, let me tell you that I never liked cooking. I used to run away from kitchen always and I have very limited experience in kitchen.

In 3 months of my married life I have cooked thrice. First time I went to make Chitranna which became vichtranna. However, it tasted really good and my hubby gave 70% marks. Next time it was poori and eerulli aaloogedde (onion, potato) palya. Except that salt was little less even that was good. My marks got stabilized at 70% and I just had to improve.

Since a long time I wanted to eat “anna and tili saaru” in my attes' style. All my attes' (Manjula, Naagu, and Vijaya) are very good in making tili saaru and after my wedding I started missing that saru that I used to have. Though I have an option of visiting their house and getting it, I had a desire of having saru anna at my home.

Sunday, after a spicy day with hot fight with my husband and after taking hours to cool down, I decided to make tili saaru for dinner. This was the first time I was making tili saaru independently, so I was nervous and excited.

Am in no mood to tell you the process I followed to make saaru, as you may know it or rather copy it. Only thing you get know is the appreciation I received. We sat for dinner at around 9:35. My mom in law had eaten something prior so she said she is just gonna taste the food. I was damn hungry and I guess my hubby too was.

First round, thinking of god, I served them anna (rice) and saaru (rasam). Hubby said “Kannada Saaru” after taking the first bite. Then there was a silence for a minute and yea.... I ate it it.. it was awesome. My in law and hubby went on and on and on. Mom in law who sat to taste was up for next round. In minutes, saaru was over. My cooking expert mom in law asked me how to make this saaru.(yupiee she knows all other types of cooking, kerala, tamil nadu, andhra, and north indian style and she asked me this.....hooooray) Hmmmm..... I am so proud of myself for preparing such delicious saaru.

Today, while am writing this, my level of confidence in cooking has gone rocket high and am on the 9th cloud. Now I think of preparing something every day.

Let me see for how many days this spirit will remain.

(You are free to pray for the spirit to remain)

Bhashe

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Full moon night on the lake side

It was after watching “Love aaj kal, that me and Amar decided to have our last trip, can be called a break up trip to Goa.

We are a group of 8, with friends, boy n girl friends, ex’s and every sort of modern mess up. Me and Amar had been dating each other since 3 – 4 years. Now that my parents wanted me to get married, and as Amar was moving to Canada, for his job, with no plans of marriage, we had to break up. I was badly hurt, but was not able and did not want to express it. We were thrilled by the idea of break up party of “Love aaj kal” planed for break up trip.

We left here on last Friday night on 4 bikes. It was a full moon night, sky was almost clear, night was calm. Long stretch of straight roads didn’t thrill us much.

I said last trip to Goa in the beginning right? Yea….. it will be the last trip with friends. I fell in love with Goa, the first time I visited there and then it became our second home. Everything about Goa thrills me. Adventure sports, drinks, sleepless night and time I get with Amar there. We got intimate in one of our trips to Goa, so it means so much for me.

We had stopped on the way to warm up ourselves with a smoke. There were two roads in front of us, one which takes to Goa and another which is unexplored. It was a small road and we have never noticed it at all.

We thought of exploring this small new road. It was a mud road having lantana bushes on both sides. We rode for about 2 – 3 kilo miters and we saw a big rather very big lake. Absence of blowing wind has made the lake look calm and as a big sheet of glass. Moon light created a different effect, making the lake look more than beautiful. The shore of the lake was small and biking looked difficult.

We parked our bikes close by and decided to take a walk on the shore. I was leaning on Amar and walking on the shore was like walking on the path of roses for me. I knew my life will never be the same again. We walked kilo meters and reached an areca nut plantation. Fencing of the plantation was near the shore and it continued for a long stretch. We continued walking on the shore and reached the end of fencing and beginning of forest. We decided not to entre forest and move back, but we saw a water flow feeding the lake.

We changed our decision and followed the water flow in the forest. A big pond was the source of the water flow. We were all tired by that time and decided to rest. We sat down across the shore of the pond and started up with usual talk.

Then we saw a group of three, two guys and a gal coming out of the thick forest behind. They were talking about wild life and sounded as explorers of forest. They had modern bows and arrows and sharp knives. After they saw us they wanted to get all of us out of the forest safely.

Vikram was leading that group of three and was an expert in wild life. He warned to get out of farest ASAP.

In the mean while Naina throwed a stone in to the pond which obviously created waves. Sanjana, who was pretty much enjoying watching the clear water and moons reflection got annoyed and started fighting with Naina.

Water which was clear like gloss turned muddy in seconds. Movements inside the water increased as a hyper reaction to the stone thrown. We were all surprised, then Meena, from the team of three said that the movement in the water was not because of the stone and it is natural.

She continued: After certain time in the night, some creatures inside water become active and hunt for their food. As other nocturnal creatures they sleep in day and function in night. This also means that this is the time when other animals in the forest come to drink water. So this means we had limited time to get out of the forest.

Vikram showed a different way to get out… we all followed him. It was a wet and watery place inside the arecanut plantation. There was a small channel with slow water flow. Sky was fully covered by clouds and as we were waling inside the plantation the tall arecanut trees has made the place darker.

We were waling only based on Vikram’s instructions. Something moved in the water and suddenly Vikram took and arrow shot in a second. He said its a big fish which got missed in a fraction of second. We moved ahead.

Kiran, who was with Vikram had already hit 2 fishes. They had a plan of getting back to the forest and camping there for few more days.

After a point me and Vikram got separated from the group. Vikram lost his way and we were on a different path. As we walked down with the hope of joining the group again we entered another boundary with newly planted arecanut plants and more ups and downs as the place was newly cultivated.

Vikram suspected snake presence there so we walked carefully through the accumulated bio-garbage. After walking for a while we found a water source where some bamboos were put. Vikram said wading may be risky as we walked carefully on the bamboo poles.

There we heard a lady and a kid talking about a deer. Ah! At last we had reached main road we thought. Alas! We were wrong. The lady and the baby are from the local tribal group.

For our surprise we saw a dog protecting a newly born deer. When we observed it closely we were shocked to death to see that it was a cross breed of deer and dog. Vikram decided to take that creature to his laboratory.

Me… away from Amar in the safe hands of Vikram decided to move on to a new life.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

ಗೂಡಿಂದ ಆಚೆ

ಅಮ್ಮನ ಬೆಚ್ಚನೆ ರೆಕ್ಕೆಗೂಡಿಂದ ದೂಡು ಎಂದು
ದೂಡಿಸಿಕೊಂಡು ಹೊರಬಂದ ಹಕ್ಕಿ ನಾನು
ಹಾರಿ, ಹಾಡಿ, ದಣಿದು ಇಂಧನ ತೀರಿದೆ ಇಂದು
ಹೋಗಲಾರೆನು ಮರಳಿ ಗೂಡಿಗೆ, ಅಮ್ಮನ ಮಡಿಲಿಗೆ

ಅವಳ ಕಣ್ಣೆದುರಿಗೇ ಅವಳೇರದೆತ್ತರಕೆ ಹಾರಿದ್ದೆ
ಅವಳ ಕಣ್ಣಿಗೀಗ ನಾನು ದೊಡ್ಡವಳು, ಬೆಳೆದು ನಿಂತವಳು
ಮತ್ತೆ ಮಡಿಲಿಗೆ ಬರಲಾರಳೇನೋ ಎಂದು ಸಮಾಧಾನಿಸಿಕೊಂಡು
ನಾನೇರಿದ ಎತ್ತರವನ್ನ ಅಳೆದು ಖುಷಿಪಡುತ್ತಿದ್ದಾಳೆ

ನನಗೂ ಮತ್ತೆ ಮಡಿಲಿಗೆ ಹೋಗಿ ಬೀಳಲು ಹಿಂಜರಿಕೆ
ನಾನು ಕಷ್ಟ ಪಟ್ಟು ಕಟ್ಟಿದ್ದ "ಬೆಳೆದೆ"ನೆಂಬ ಭ್ರಮೆ ಮುರಿವುದೆಂದು
ಅದಕೇ ಅಮ್ಮನ ಕಣ್ಣಿಂದ ದೂರ ಹಾರಿ ಬಂದಿದ್ದೇನೆ
ನೆಲ ಸೇರಿದ್ದೇನೆ, ಕಣ್ಣೀರಾಗಿದ್ದೇನೆ, ಹಸಿದಿದ್ದೇನೆ

ನನಗೀಗ ಅಮ್ಮನ ನೆನಪಷ್ಟೇ, ಗೂಡು ಬಲು ದೂರ
ಅವಳ ಪ್ರೀತಿಯದೇ ನೆನಪು, ಅವಳ ಸೇರುವ ತವಕ
ಕಣ್ಮುಚ್ಚಿದರೆ ಅವಳ ಮುಖ, ಕಣ್ತೆರೆದರೆ ಕಣ್ಣೀರು
ಬಾಯ್ಬಿಟ್ಟರೆ ಮಾತಿಗಿಂತ ಬಿಕ್ಕಳಿಕೆಯೇ ಜಾಸ್ತಿ

ನನ್ನ ಕಣ್ಣೀರಿಗೆ, ಕರುಳ ಕರೆಗೆ ಅವಳೇ ಹುಡುಕಿ ಬಂದಳೇನೋ ... ಆಸೆ
ಅವಳಿಗೆ ನಾನು ಸೋತಿರುವುದು ಗೊತ್ತೇ ಆಗಿರಲಿಕ್ಕಿಲ್ಲ
ಮುರಿದ ರೆಕ್ಕೆಗಳಿಂದ ಕಣ್ಣೀರೋರೆಸಿ ಕುಂಟುತ್ತಾ ನಡೆಯುತ್ತೇನೆ
ಗೂಡಿನ ಆಸೆ ಮನದಲ್ಲಿ, ಅತಿಯಾದ ಸ್ವಾಭಿಮಾನ ತಲೆಯಲ್ಲಿ

ಭಾಶೆ

Friday, July 10, 2009

One night in and around Athena – The Leela galleria discotheque

On last Saturday evening, me and my hubby Prabbhu left home at 8 Pm. We reached Ms. S1’s place by 8:30 where Ms. S2 and Mr. A were waiting for us. We chilled out there for some time, got ourselves warmed up for the party mood and went to Athena.

As we had gone there in bike, we parked it in the adjacent road which is a parking area (where normally all Leela visitors park their bikes) and went inside. Prabhu has been parking his bike there since long. He also left his helmet in the safety lock as usual.

Athena, as usual was partly crowded at 9:30. Though DJ Shash (hope this is the right spelling, he is called so all the time, don’t know his full name) was inside, he was not playing music. It was just the warm up music which was played and we were standing, sitting, moving around, and waiting for Shash to start. After a long warm up secession, at 10:30, DJ started with his house music. By this time Athena was fully crowded and ready to rock.

Some known songs remixed, some new ones, hmmm… it started. Every body was dancing and screaming and having fun. Prabhu and Mr. A started with their regular steps. They forgot that they have come with their partners and were dancing with each other. We three girls, with no better option (as our partners were busy) were a group.

I could see bottles and shots going around and getting empty, packets of fire getting burnt what not? Some were clicking photos, some were looking for partners, some were just watching and some dancing like hell, lot of show offs, the ones who have a partner in hand were also looking for some new ones, all that which happens in a regular discotheque.

Till 12, one and a half hours of amazing music, we all were sweated in there. Now all pains slowly showed up as a result of marathon dancing. Party was over and every one started moving out.

I could see broken bottles, spilled drinks, “not able to walk” people and bouncers and friends helping them out of the place. Happy and relaxed we went to the parking lot.

After reaching parking lot, we used the first method of searching his bike. Look for a black pulsar, having a helmet on its back. We walked the whole stretch but couldn’t locate. Now the second method – look for the number. Yes here it is… but… are… there is no helmet!!!

I know you all have seen the regular helmet lock used in bikes. If you have not, see this.


This is what Prabhu had in his bike too.



We went close and realized that the helmet lock was broken. First I thought it should be water tanker, which was standing there, might have come close and the helmet lock got broke. Thinking that the helmet would be lying on the floor I searched for it. But for our shock we saw most of the bikes parked there have had their locks broken and helmets vanished. Oppps… I can’t believe it. In this area, next to Leela, helmets are stolen.

Our entire good mood with high energy went down. Cursing the thieves, Prabhu opens the bike lock. And again petrol indicator has gone 3 points below. Heights!!! We head to the one and only hotel which stays open late nights, close to MG road, to get food.

At Ms. S1’s place again, in the after party mood, we all eat, play games and head back home. Prabhu’s eyes, for the first time, was getting filled with tears, as he rode the bike, due to high speed and cold wind at 3 in the night, in the empty stretch of ring road. We can’t stop cursing those thieves. Prabhu decides that he will park the bike in Ms. S1’s place, which is very close by, next time on.

Next morning, Prabhu buys a new helmet and a new wire helmet lock (which comes with either a key or number lock) and makes sure his helmet stays safe. Now I understand what “parking at your own risk” means.

Cheers
BhaShe

Beginning a new life…

Getting married/committed to a new relationship is as good as starting a new life. Marriage has to be an equal share partnership and not a sole proprietorship firm.

We have moved out of 1940's and 50's, where probably was, marriage a sole proprietorship, husband being the owner and ruler. Exceptions set apart. It is 2009 now and for a marriage to be successful, rather to fix a relationship, we have to understand that both parties in the relation are equal.

Why anybody gets married?
When one is madly in love with someone and wants to share a bond, accepted by the society, for a life time. When one feels alone and have grown old enough to start and handle two lives. One wants to reproduce, have a family and take up the responsibility. I mean it all comes close to one answer, that is when one want some real change in life and when one is strong enough to hold the responsibility.

Mind or heart? What to follow when it comes to choosing a partner?
It depends on what orientation one has towards life. If you are a very calculative and business minded person, following heart may cause dissatisfaction in later stages. The ones, who always deal through heart, please follow your heart in love and marriage too.

For a girl, financial security is not the only reason for marriage. Most girls are as strong as man when it comes to financial security. They earn and they have their own terms. They marry for the need of having a bond with their loved ones.

Even boys want a bond and some one to be there for them always. They have the need for someone who can take care of them all the time. They need a partner who will be together forever and from whom they can see their next generation.

Partner, companion is what is required, not a dominating bodyguard or a spy. - Though we say world has become a village, distance between people is increasing. Though we have n number of ways to reach/contact people, having one with whom everything can be shared, is very less. The need to have a truthful partner has increased. Complications in life are mostly created by feeling less relationships and disbelief.

Understanding – I understand that everybody on this earth is not mind readers, to understand someone in their first looks. However, we should understand ourselves very well so that we know what we want. Keeping oneself open in front of the partner makes life simpler.

Limit your expectations - one should keep limits for things to expect from their partner. No one is perfect including you. So in that scenario expecting a perfect partner is stupidity.

Sacrifice - when it is mutual understanding and sharing of a lifetime relationship, there is always a need for sacrifice. On the first hand, it looks impossible and heartbreaking but in the long run, this plays as a bondage and strengthens the relationship. Don’t blindly be ready for sacrifice. Have your limits in that as well. Don’t let your partner take you for granted all the time. There is fun in fighting too… some times.

Putting your self in the shoes of your partner - when it comes to understanding and decision making put your self in your partner’s shoes and try and understand their point of view. Two brains are better than one.

Commitment - On top of all these, you should have the strength to carry a relationship for lifetime and faith in your decision about the life partner you have chosen. Please don’t commit a relationship if you don’t have the strength to carry it. Always try to stick to your commitments. Never break one, unless you feel that you will loose yourself by sticking to it. Because when a heart breaks no one hears the sound, but the impact can be as worse to spoil a life or end a life.

No one’s life is a bed of roses, its not cake walk. But making it work and making it go on is always in your hands.

At some point of life we all feel the need of a partner, who can hold hands and be a support. So while choosing that partner, make sure you choose the one who is best for you, not the best in the town. It’s your life after all. Make sure you won’t regret for your decision at any point in your life.

Love
BhaShe