Monday, January 20, 2014

Draupadi - The fear!

Don’t make any judgments based on the title here! All I intend to do, by giving this title is to showcase the fear of getting naked in public. Have you ever felt the fear of a major wardrobe malfunction in public? A wardrobe malfunction which will leave you with only basic garments on your body and which will leave you damaged for the rest of your life. I have something to share.

This was 2 or 3 years ago. Then, I used to stare at the sarees I have and feel bad for not wearing them at all. The ones which I cannot wear to any function, because they are not grand enough, were lying in my cupboard unused. One day I told myself, well, I’ll wear these sarees to work whenever I feel like.

The first day I did that, the response was overwhelming (well, all the complements from my colleagues made me feel so good that saree has become my medicine for depression). That day I decided to wear sarees often. That evening when I was on my way home, it started raining. It’s a 15 minutes’ walk from the bus stop to my house and as I carry an umbrella all the time, I started walking in the rain.

If you know and understand how a saree is worn, you know that the beginning of a saree is stuck into the petticoat. Imagine the beginning of the saree coming out. It’s an inner layer, so, you won’t be able to tuck it back in without taking off your saree or lifting it to a length that will not be decent. You will not even have easy access to get to the beginning, and also, as it comes out, there is a high chances that you might trip on it and fall down. Set of troubles!

As I was walking towards my home, I saw that my saree was coming down, and I realized that the beginning of my saree has come out from the clutches of my petticoat and I was stumbling on it. Just one more time it goes beneath my feet and I take a long step, my saree will be on the road!!! OMG!!! It’s a rainy evening, muddy road and a lot of people have taken shelters in the nearby shops waiting for the rain to stop, staring at the road. I was about to face a life scarring wardrobe malfunction.

Thankfully I got to know what is happening and what would happen if I continue. I halted, held the rest of the saree tight and started walking like a tortoise. I did reach home with my dignity held up high! Thank god for no malfunction on the road.

After this incident, I learnt a trick from my aunt. Put a knot to the beginning of the saree and tuck it inside the petticoat. This won’t let the saree to come out from that end easily! I do that and it’s a success, or that’s what I thought till recently.

This one is a very recent incident.

After finishing work, I was running towards the bus stop as it was already 9:30 in the evening. I was wearing a saree again this day. As it was cold, I had covered myself with a shawl. As it was late, I was walking very fast. Just when I was around the corner, I felt that my saree is coming down again, from the same end! What the hell! I had put the knot!

I rushed into a hotel nearby, and found a very small loo there. Thank god! I took the shawl off to see what is wrong! Sigh! Relief, it’s just my pallu which has come down from the wrong end! There is nothing wrong with the saree, it’s all fine, and I was just paranoid. I put the shawl back and ran to the bus stop.

You think I have stopped wearing saree now? Naa… these things can’t kill my spirit (or can’t kill my hunger for some complements once a while). ;) But I did feel the fear, I guess I know how Draupadi would have felt when she was dragged into the “sabhangana”.


Monday, January 13, 2014

Inhuman Sexual Behaviors

I am utterly disturbed since yesterday afternoon. When I am busy, these thoughts won’t bother me, but as soon as I am free, only this thing runs in my head. What is happening? Why?

Yesterday afternoon I started reading my favorite magazine “omanase”. In the counseling section of the magazine, a lady writes about her problem. The problem is, her husband, who is a professor, is a womanizer, he has slept with anything that is called a female, and he sleeps with his daughters too. His daughters are so addicted that they call him to bed too. This not just when they were 13 and did not know what was going on, but also when they are grown up, married and have kids. How is this even possible? How can I digest this? This is a true story and I mean, what the hell?

I tell this to a friend of mine who gives me 2 such cases in a minute, a man, who sleeps with his mom and sister and another one who sleeps with a lot of females including his aunt (dad’s sister).

What happened to “a husband and wife should have sex only when they desire to have a baby, else restrain from such activities” the sages story? Well, I agree that is very old school. We moved from that to unlimited sex and birth control, to having sex before marriage with the one whom you are going to marry, to unfaithful marriages and affairs, to having sex with an attractive person when you desire, to separating sex from love, to open marriage,s to one night stands. But this? Having sex with father, mother, brother, sister, daughter, aunt, I mean, isn’t it worse than animals?

You might say it’s a one in a million case. I have not done any research on this topic but 2 examples for one story I narrate, I mean, it has to be a one in a hundred case then! How else can the math work?

Where are we losing our values? Where is it going wrong in the system? My stomach hurts when I read this and feel sorry, restless and helpless. What weirdness is this?

What do I do? How can this be corrected? How can we bring in values to lives? How can we identify such people and give them proper advise, medication, counseling and cure them? This is an illness, a problem, a disorder.

I am still speechless and lost in the whirl of these thoughts.

Sowmyashree Gonibeedu

Wednesday, January 8, 2014


Use is a bad term but still I have to say
Every time I use you, I feel you leave a layer on me
The comfort, pleasure and sweet feeling
When I am with you, I feel the joy of being free

I do it without guilt, am built that way
I have no shame, morale or value per say
I pity you, feel bad, but still use you
For my own comfort and for my own play

I know I don’t treat you the way you deserve
I hurt you, trash you and put you in bad conditions
Still you stay with me, ready to serve
How can I ever thank you for your dedication

You know you are not only in my space
Still you stay, not being jealous or possessive
You know I just use you, only for my comfort
But you still give your life, without regret

Oh! My dear bathing bar, how do I thank you?
For helping me keep clean, be smell free
I feel your moisture on my skin after every wash
The few minutes with you, each day is bliss and glee


Sunday, January 5, 2014

ಕನಸಲ್ಲಿ ಕಡಲೆಗಿಡ

ಅವರೆಯ ಸೊಗಡಿನೊಂದಿಗೆ, ಕಡಲೆಯ ಗಿಡವನೂ ತಂತು
ಅವರೆಯ ಅನುಭವಿಸಿ ಕಡಲೆ ಗಿಡಕ್ಕೆ ಹುಡುಕಾಡಿದೆ

ಖಾಲಿಯಾಗಿ ಒಣಗಿ ರಸ್ತೆಯಲಿ ಧೂಳಾಗಿದ್ದ ಕಂಡಾಗ
ಹುಡುಕಲಾರಂಬಿಸುತ್ತೆ ನನ್ನ ಕಣ್ಣುಗಳು
ಯಾರಾದರೂ ಕೈಲಿ ಹಿಡಿದಿರುವುದು ಕಾಣಿಸಿದರಂತೂ
ಹೋಗಿ ಕೇಳಿ ಬಿಡಲೇ ಎಲ್ಲಿ ಕೊಂಡಿರೆಂದು?

ಕನಸಿನಲ್ಲೂ ಕಡಲೆ ಗಿಡವೇ ನನ್ನ ಭಾಗ್ಯಕ್ಕೆ?
ಮಾರಲೊಲ್ಲದ ವ್ಯಾಪಾರಿ, ಬಿಡಲೊಲ್ಲದ ನಾನು
ಆ ರುಚಿಗಾಗಿ ಎಷ್ಟು ಹಾತೊರೆಯುತ್ತಿದೆ ಮನ
ಎಲ್ಲಿರುವೆ, ಎಲ್ಲಿರುವೆ, ಮನವ ಕಾಡುವ ಕಡಲೆ ಗಿಡವೇ?

ಒಂದು ಕಟ್ಟು, ಅರ್ಧ ಕೇಜಿ, ಸಿಕ್ಕರೆ ಸಾಕೀಗ ನನಗೆ
ಒಂದು ವರ್ಷದ ತನಕ ಖುಷಿಯಗಿರುವೆ
ನಿಮಗೆ ಸಿಕ್ಕರೆ ಕೊಟ್ಟು ಪುಣ್ಯ ಕಟ್ಟಿಕೊಳ್ಳಿ ದೇವರೇ
ಹಸಿ ಕಡಲೆ ಕಾಳಿನ ರುಚಿಗೆ ಮನ ಕಾದು ಕಾವಲಿಯಾಗಿದೆ


Thursday, January 2, 2014


I only write
That’s my thoughts
How you read it
Is in your head
I can’t influence
What you understand
For what you read
Don’t blame me

If you like what I write
You have a reason to it
If you don’t like it
You have reasons again
I won’t know them
I don’t want to
What I see is
The world I portray

What you understand
How you interpret
What you take
And what you leave
Is all up to you
I only offer
Taking or not
Is always your decision

Take what fits you
Leave the rest
Am sure there are takers
Am sure am been ignored too
But till the time
I know that I am being read
Or maybe even after that
Am sure I still will write