Closed Doors

I knock repeatedly on those closed doors
Sometimes a window gets open
A glimpse of my beloved’s face is seen
Then the window is shut again
Sometime I hear some voices
They guide me and disappear

I leave the door
Telling myself that I won’t return
Nobody invites me there and
No reciprocation when I go
I find myself in front of the door often
Ignoring my words, not minding the negligence, insult

I don’t know what’s behind those closed doors
I want those doors open once
To see what is inside
I don’t intend to steal or break
I won’t touch anything inside, I promise
Am just curious to know

In my dreams I see
Those closed doors open for me
Some beautiful colors and voices inside
Mesmerizing stories and tales
Remaining of yesterday and plans of tomorrow
I wake up and wonder is that what it is?

BhaShe

Failure

I somehow suddenly start missing you
I visit those residual of our ruined relationship
To excavate, hoping to find a soothing memory

This happens when I am in trouble, mostly
I do remember you when I am happy, but
Like empty mind is, troubled mind is also devil’s workshop

I somehow feel you are a solution
May be solution of escape, but temporary relief
Probably what I want is change, a break from current life

Guess its habitual that I miss you when in pain
Don’t know how much time it will take
For me to lose this habit, to stop missing you

Healing time is long, as I was thrown out mercilessly
Otherwise, I would have recovered quickly I guess,
Still wonder, if I took anyone else as close as you were

Am I still seeking for answers? Searching in the scrap
Yes, sometimes no, depends on when I think about you
I am gradually losing the flavor, dreams are less colorful

I need to let go, let go those memories, feelings and thoughts
Let go the anger and pain I have, caused by you
Let go the silence created by you, let go the smile given by you

I need an alternate, who can replace you
A real friend who can make me forget you
These lines make something very obvious doesn’t it?

Should I tell you that I miss you and show you I am weak
Or keep it to myself, hiding it inside all outside layers
Attempt to ignore gets never successful as it start with reminding

BhaShe