When I was in my +2 classes and 1st year of graduation, this question normally used to hang around in my thoughts, ‘why am I here?’ We all take birth, study, earn and die, but what is the purpose of this whole journey? Why have we been created and what are we supposed to do?
When I got in to 2nd year or so in my graduation, I had found a goal, though temporary, to do MBA. Money, monitory benefits, having a loving partner took over the space I had for these quests.
I was lost in finding my way out, doing higher studies, and in the meanwhile found a loving partner and now, today, I am a happily married lady.
This question of setting a new goal in life kept on coming, the date I joined my job. ‘Joining a good job goal’ was ticked off that day and then I was open for another goal. Marriage became my next priority as I had already found a loving partner. After being married for an year, now am looking to set another goal.
I had been thinking of joining dance classes, or studying law, or M. A. in Kannada or Psychology and all that for a while, but that also would end up being a short term goal. What next is the biggest question I face majority of the times… so what next?
Reading books has been one of my hobbies. While doing my graduation, I have read some books about Sri. Ramakrishna Paramhamsa written by his disciples. I have always been having an attraction towards these kind of books and I have read a few. Those memories are hunting me down now and I am dragged back to those days where my only goal was to find myself. I am strongly haunted by those thoughts now and looking for a way out!
Suddenly a craving has now raised to read ‘Bhagavad Gita’. I am looking for a copy where they have given the Shloka’s and the meaning of it. Not sure where to buy and which one to buy!
Spirituality has been part of my life since childhood. Guess, by the pressure of life, or by the colors of material stuff around me, my interest or craving for spiritual fulfillment had gone covered. Now some serious thinking, which was forced on me, is leading me to think in those terms again and that need is raising again.
I also get a doubt, if am doing some escaping action by taking a refuge under those books and thoughts. Not very sure if am running away, also not very sure from what I have to run away. So hopefully it's not a escaping trick.
Hoping for a safe landing.