This thought came, while I was thinking about someone, who is more like Krishna in his lifestyle. He is attractive, charming and girls fall for him very easily. He is married and knows his life. Even married females fall for him. This detail that married females fall for him, made me think a little deeper about a females life. It has become common now that irrespective of being married, people are falling in love. They are seeking something, be it emotional, physical or financial, but something from outside. I have heard many such cases and have been thinking about it for long.
Now-a-days we girls fight for equality and freedom and for every other thing. We earn and have seen the world as much as a guy. We define our rules and live by them. Love marriages have increased and so is the divorce rate. Financial independence and current social system has given women all support to be her own.
I used to see my grandmother touch my grandfather’s feet every morning before getting out of bed. I saw her do this till the day grandpa died. My mom, falls on to my dad’s feet only at festivals and some special occasions. I fell on to my husband’s feet only at my wedding and after that I never did. What I am trying to show here is that the progression of equality feeling. I cannot or may not be able to see God in my husband as my granny did in hers.
If we are looking at the spiritual nature of the human beings I listed above, granny had her own way, mom has her and I am trying to find mine. The more we are getting educated and freed, the more confused we are when it comes to being spiritual and understanding life.
Probably, some 80 – 100 years ago, when girls used to get married at early ages, they had less knowledge about life and guess been less confused. Ignorance was bliss in disguise for them. Guess, they would think their husband as god and with the “Samaprpan” feeling they would do all “seva” (service) to them. Personalizing God in the form of husband and gaining “mukti” because of it sounds easy.
Just imagine having God as husband: be happy to see him every morning, touch his feet with great “bhakti” and do all his “seva” as he pleases. Prepare food for him, take care of his kids, do everything as an order of the god and still keep the mind detached from all the household works. Does sounds very simple isn’t it?
He would be the only man in her life, no love, no extra marital affairs, nothing. Living a life just to take care of the god, who is in the form of husband. I guess this kind of life with a real spiritual husband would lead to mukti for sure.
Today, being responsible for all the activities one does and still be detached from it sounds so tough. Office, house, all love affairs one had, all set of attractions, so many temptations in front of one, that people have forgotten some of the greatest ways of achieving mukti.
I get jealous of those gopikas’ who could just see god in front of them and love him unconditionally and be his always. This form of unconditional love gave them what they seek… calmness and peace of mind. I also feel jealous of those typical Indian wives of old ages, who would have done everything as seva to god and would have had a very selfless life.
Being selfless, being detached and having the feeling that what ever is been done from us, are as per the orders of God and we are just means to fulfill his wish, is said to be one of the greatest ways to lead a life. In today’s tensions, responsibilities and all other earthy feelings, even thinking of having such a life sounds so impossible. Sometimes, I wish I was ignorant like those gopikas’ or the typical Indian wives of early ages, where I could just do all my work and still have my feet on the ground all the time.
I cannot go back in time or cannot change the way I feel for my husband. I can’t call him god because I am knowledgeable enough to find his mistakes and fight with him. Guess I have to struggle really hard to have a personalization of god in a human form and do everything as they please. Seeing today’s Guru’s and situations of Math’s, treating them as god has also become impossible. Due to our greed, we have lost the easiest way to reach god.
I reach back to all books I could find, read them and try my best to be what I want to be. “I do not want to know how my future is going to be, because know I will build it the way I want it to be”. On this note, I say bye till my next post.