Getting married/committed to a new relationship is as good as starting a new life. Marriage has to be an equal share partnership and not a sole proprietorship firm.
We have moved out of 1940's and 50's, where probably was, marriage a sole proprietorship, husband being the owner and ruler. Exceptions set apart. It is 2009 now and for a marriage to be successful, rather to fix a relationship, we have to understand that both parties in the relation are equal.
Why anybody gets married?
When one is madly in love with someone and wants to share a bond, accepted by the society, for a life time. When one feels alone and have grown old enough to start and handle two lives. One wants to reproduce, have a family and take up the responsibility. I mean it all comes close to one answer, that is when one want some real change in life and when one is strong enough to hold the responsibility.
Mind or heart? What to follow when it comes to choosing a partner?
It depends on what orientation one has towards life. If you are a very calculative and business minded person, following heart may cause dissatisfaction in later stages. The ones, who always deal through heart, please follow your heart in love and marriage too.
For a girl, financial security is not the only reason for marriage. Most girls are as strong as man when it comes to financial security. They earn and they have their own terms. They marry for the need of having a bond with their loved ones.
Even boys want a bond and some one to be there for them always. They have the need for someone who can take care of them all the time. They need a partner who will be together forever and from whom they can see their next generation.
Partner, companion is what is required, not a dominating bodyguard or a spy. - Though we say world has become a village, distance between people is increasing. Though we have n number of ways to reach/contact people, having one with whom everything can be shared, is very less. The need to have a truthful partner has increased. Complications in life are mostly created by feeling less relationships and disbelief.
Understanding – I understand that everybody on this earth is not mind readers, to understand someone in their first looks. However, we should understand ourselves very well so that we know what we want. Keeping oneself open in front of the partner makes life simpler.
Limit your expectations - one should keep limits for things to expect from their partner. No one is perfect including you. So in that scenario expecting a perfect partner is stupidity.
Sacrifice - when it is mutual understanding and sharing of a lifetime relationship, there is always a need for sacrifice. On the first hand, it looks impossible and heartbreaking but in the long run, this plays as a bondage and strengthens the relationship. Don’t blindly be ready for sacrifice. Have your limits in that as well. Don’t let your partner take you for granted all the time. There is fun in fighting too… some times.
Putting your self in the shoes of your partner - when it comes to understanding and decision making put your self in your partner’s shoes and try and understand their point of view. Two brains are better than one.
Commitment - On top of all these, you should have the strength to carry a relationship for lifetime and faith in your decision about the life partner you have chosen. Please don’t commit a relationship if you don’t have the strength to carry it. Always try to stick to your commitments. Never break one, unless you feel that you will loose yourself by sticking to it. Because when a heart breaks no one hears the sound, but the impact can be as worse to spoil a life or end a life.
No one’s life is a bed of roses, its not cake walk. But making it work and making it go on is always in your hands.
At some point of life we all feel the need of a partner, who can hold hands and be a support. So while choosing that partner, make sure you choose the one who is best for you, not the best in the town. It’s your life after all. Make sure you won’t regret for your decision at any point in your life.