Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Wronged

Every time you abandon me
I ask this to myself
What did I do wrong?

My pillows get wet with tears
My heart aches with pain
With the question in my head

All of a sudden you vanish
And all of a sudden you come back
I keep wondering what I did

Is that only anger you have?
Or you feel love for me too
I never have understood

If you don’t need me
Say it, I might get over with it
I may not need you too

If my life or death does not matter
Then am dead to you already
Stop making me die everyday

Have I done anything wrong?
And why has anything hurt you
The puzzles I never understand

You keep punishing me
With pain, deserting and silence
I keep asking what I did wrong.

BhaShe

Monday, December 10, 2012

Surprises

So much noise
Is it in my head?
I hear conversations
Am I talking to myself?

Waves keep forming
Like thoughts in my head
Everything is scattered
Like the moonless night

Some are singing, far away
Some songs are written here
Should I laugh or should I cry
My disturbed mine does not try

Yesterday, today and tomorrow
Has nothing changed or everything has?
Different tunes that flow from all over
Make me think I am lost in a different world

Is this high inside my mind
Because of what I been through
Or what I have seen and become
I need to make peace with myself

The melodies of songs heard
Fades away as time passes
Till I encounter such bliss again
The dead that is alive, lives

Waves and thoughts form and fade
Change is the only constant
I keep wondering and discovering
New sides of mine everyday

BhaShe

Monday, November 19, 2012

I heard him speak to my soul

When the unheard stories were told
When the decisions were wrong and bold
When my heart froze and body went cold
I heard him speak to my soul

A soft whisper in my ears when am asleep
To make the decision, to add faith to the leap
What has been given, to understand it and keep
I heard him speak to my soul

Nurture or murder is not in my hands but his
Preserve or destroy were games of his bliss
I’d close my eyes in faith and let all this miss
As I heard him speak to my soul

Lift from where I am to where I want to be
Journey from cuffs and ropes to the free
The power and pleasure of enlightenment and glee
As I heard him speak to my soul

It was when I was on the wrong path
When I could not tell between dreams and fact
When I thought all I had was gone and lost
Then I heard him speak to my soul

BhaShe

Thursday, November 15, 2012

I’ll never let you miss me

Like air, like light, like the stars
Like the universe, like mars
In Bangalore, like bars
I’ll always be around
I’ll never let you miss me

Bore you with jokes
Remind you with pokes
Do stupid mocks
But I’ll never let you miss me

Even if you think am mad
When either or both are sad
Be it good or be it bad
I’ll never let you miss me

When you are angry and fight
When you are drunk, fully tight
When your days are dark or bright
I’ll never let you miss me

Even if you go away and stay
You want to forget me and stray
Even when am buried in a grave
I’ll never let you miss me

I love you now and forever
I’ll forget or ignore never
I give you my word, clear,
I’ll always be around
I’ll never let you miss me

BhaShe

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Making up with Past!

How do you make it up to a heart you broke?
How do you make him speak?
How do you accept all that is done?
And believe the mistakes are none?

Life is never a walk on the cake
Every emotion is at some stake
When you think you have forgotten
A memory comes back hurt and rotten

Yesterday never comes back
Dead days never talk
All that has passed is now to be used to
Not east getting out of what one is gotten into

If only it does not hurt anymore,
Being there for each other matters much more
If only what is done can be put behind
Then some good memories retain in our hand

BhaShe.

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Becoming Strangers

We were strangers,
Wish we had remained that way,
The curiosity about each other
The eagerness to know
The excitement of knowing
Spending time with each other
Every day, every minute
The awareness scale increased

Today, we are again strangers
But half known to each other
So much anger and pain
So much of miscommunication
So much misunderstanding
Every conversation is a fight
Jokes are taken seriously
And life has become a joke

What all broke in this transition
Countless promises, couple of hearts
Many smiles are dead, silence is silenced
So much told, so much to tell
Half complete sentences all around
The chirpiness has died, so has fun
Sharing has been forgotten long ago
It’s now a walk on the grave yard

Will we ever be friends again?
Will you ever crack those silly jokes?
Will I ever laugh at them like I did?
Can it become as fresh as it was?
Questions list keeps going
Answers are afraid to come closer,
As we have turned out to be now,
Walk away as strangers to each other.

BhaShe

Friday, October 26, 2012

Quest

If all those stones I threw had reached you
You would have melted like an ice cube
If you had heard those painful songs of my heart
You would have taken me in to your world
If you had held my hands at every emotional moment
Our hands would have become one and glued forever

You are god, omnipresent, the one who sees and knows it all
Am just a human, you have made me with lot of emotions
All I want is to be back in your arms, loved by you
And to know that you are with me forever, no matter what
But all I hear from you is silence, ignorance and avoidance
How should I survive?
When I don’t know
Whether the one I love, loves me back or not,

Give me the capacity to live, when you are silent
Give me the courage to take the pain when you ignore me
Make me stronger to face it when you avoid me
And have a smile on my face and light many more

I am in the quest of finding you and reaching you
And when I do, I have questions to ask
I want to carry a face, to which you would answer
And make you fall in love with me once and forever
Are you listening, my love?
Give me one sign that says you are still with me.

BhaShe

Monday, October 22, 2012

Just the way you asked me to…

Am with you just the way you asked me to
Staying by your decision, doing what you ask
Sharing only things that you’d want me to
Putting my joys and sorrows behind the mask

You know I too have a heart which feels
Hiding my emotions is a difficult task
I’ll always be in love with you but
I know, knowing you, anything is too much to ask

Knowing I don’t matter, no more,
I still take steps towards you
I run, I hide, and I let those minutes pass
When am about to say how much I love you

You are sugar coated poison
Sweet to start but death is the fact
I am glued to you, inseparable
What an irony, or is it gods act

I will always be with you
When you stretch your hand to reach
Those promises, feeling and emotions are true
But my limitations, am not going to breach

BhaShe

Monday, October 15, 2012

Steps to His House

Sometimes it rains unintentionally
Brings up the forgotten wind
Sometimes the Gods speak when they are kind
Sometimes what is lost is not to find
But to unwind, and join its own kind
Sometimes it’s just heart not mind

When he speaks, winds blow
Carrying the message nice and slow
Let those dried leaves and clouds follow
In the sunset, when it’s all mellow
It’s not for all, not for none, fellow
Only open ears comprehend and swallow

It gets inside like melting sugar
No efforts required, no trigger
Peace inside grows bigger and bigger
No matter what you are, rich or beggar
Light never discriminates, neither the giver
All that melts in makes one, only better

Easy to miss when his voice passes by
In so many voices that has spread around the sky
Let those rains and wind tell when it is close by
Let the stars twinkle when the sky is dry
Let the doors to heart be open, ears and eye
Let his voice be heard and message convey

When he has been heard, world turn around
Freedom from all those that is bound
Realization of life, what goes comes around
When in his shelter, no other sound is found
Let go those lies, false ego and pride
When surrendered, his voice will all be heard

BhaShe

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Your Happiness Matters

When you fight your battles
Struggle with wounds and scars
Make your own choices
And agree or disagree to live with them
Your happiness is what I desire

When you decide to stay on longer
Or move out and start afresh
Make mistakes but learn from it
Get hurt but raise like a phoenix
Your happiness counts the most

When I see you happily being in pain
Learning lessons from what is past
Move on with life and enjoy what you do
I forget your sufferings and cherish your success
Your happiness is what I seek

I am concerned about your sufferings
I cry when I see you go through pain
I wish to jump and help you out all the way
But I restrain to see how you cope up
Your happiness is what makes me sustain

I don’t want to help you and spoil the lesson
Don’t want to jump and snatch your comfort
Don’t want to handhold and imprison you
But let you go your way, with happiness
As your happiness is the only thing that matters

BhaShe

Monday, October 8, 2012

How Much Wait

How much can one wait
When seconds turn into days
Hours into centuries
When silence is what prevails

How much can one wait
When heart stops beating
When breathing is troubled
When only the waited is seen

How much can one wait
To get in touch with love
To hear from loved one
To hug a loving person

How much can one wait
And keep the expectation going
To get the bliss and joy
To make a milestone in life

How can one know when to stop waiting
To say no regrets what so ever
To leave the love one waited for
And to stay with the decision made

How much wait is enough
To decide to turn back and move
To give up on the hurting wait
To unintentionally hurt the other

BhaShe

Friday, September 21, 2012

Wormhole

Am tying down those flying butterflies
They do not have any business anymore
I have to manage my life with
All the irrevocable damage they have made

Am cutting those wings of my dreams
Which have flown far far away
I need to bring them back and cage them
And feed only seeds of reality

Am hunting down those thoughts that ran
And clear the tracks of past and future
I need to keep my legs on the ground
And stand, before I plan to make any move

There have been multiple realities
All I have is what I had asked for
All I want to be, is also what I have asked for
Now it‘s my turn to turn the tables, to change life’s path

Am turning back to what I wanted to be
And make those dead dreams a reality
My today is what I have made, so is my tomorrow
Let past be the future and current be forgotten

BhaShe

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Never Again

Never again
I shall beg you for love
Beg you for care and support

Never again
I shall push myself
And get pushed back so hard

Never again
I shall punish myself
When you part away from me

Never again
I shall stalk you
When you purposefully avoid

Never again
I shall invite and offer
And get rejected so bad

Never again
I shall think or discuss
And discard the suggestions

Never again
I shall let my heart
Fall for what you say

Never again
I shall cry for you
Or show you how much I love you

BhaShe

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Ghost from the Past

I forgive you, ghost from the past
Go, make your nest in my tomorrow
I will feed you with peace of mind
And let you create your world

My extensions are wide
My roots are deep and strong
You can bring storm and drought
Your efforts will never last long

I have the power of enlightenment
I have the power of love and care
You create and unveil the stories of past
Nothing but you will go bare

Heart that pumps blood to my veins
Is as strong as it was never before
You might bring up all my ruins
I won’t go back there, anymore

I forgive you my ghost from the past
But I will not forget your existence
This is the only way to make my future
I will never give up my perseverance

BhaShe

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Tug of War

In this tug of war
Of egos
I get stubborn
And so are you

How dare you
Not speak to me
Till when
I should always understand?

You ignore me
So easily, daily
Tit for tat
I hurt you too

You don’t call
That’s your decision
I never text
We both keep silence

I don’t wanna give up
You have too much pride
In this tug of war of egos
Dies our orphaned love

I love you
Guess you love me too
The fight and the distance
Has ruined the sweetness of life

For the last time
You come back to me
And I’ll say sorry
Let’s not drag this anymore

I’ll say I love you
Take me in your arms
I’ll write you a poem
Let’s be in love again

BhaShe

Monday, September 3, 2012

Expectations

Dying fire
No firewood in stock
Am afraid no means
To keep the warmth
I expect the fire to burn
And stay alive

In a hurricane
When the clouds and wind
Have taken over the sky
I expect the sun to shine
To light up the world
To kill the darkness

Music from broken strings
Sweetness from neem
Rainbow in drought
And love from desert
My expectations are always
Always, just wrong

Untamed mind
Runs around
Expecting the impossible
My hurt heart
Keeps crying
Failing to control mind

BhaShe

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Decided

Strange was the path
Strange was my decision
It looked like a dream
Now it is reality

Was it meant to be
Different from every angle
Different from every distance
Not as it seemed in dream

Decided to go along
I changed my world
Chased out so many
Welcomed so little

Now you arrive
Unwelcomed
Changing my world
What I have become

Why cannot I be
What I decide to be
Why should I be influenced
Why is it not simple

My path
Is not mine anymore
Its not the way I wanted
Its not the best

BhaShe

Friday, August 3, 2012

NO MORE

Afraid? NO MORE
I know I have to stand on my own and fight
I now fairytales are just amusing stories
I know now, nothing else should matter

Tears? NO MORE
No one wants a share in my sadness
No one wants to know what I am going through
No one cares about my happiness

Being Hurt? NO MORE
No one wants to listen to me
No one is bothered about my silence
No one cares if am alive or dead

Botheration? NO MORE
Only when I am smiling, I am approached
Only when I show off, I am considered
Only when I pretend, I am admired

Pain? NO MORE
All I care is about myself now
I am the only person in my world
I decide my life, and my terms

Emotions? NO MORE
Take a back seat, go hide your self
You are not required any more
Brain rules my world now

BhaShe

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Flower

I had a beautiful flower with me
I grew it with my own effort
It was beautiful and attractive
Colors never fade, smell never dies

I wanted you to have it
I offered it to you
I had no other intention but,
To give you what I possessed

You were attracted so you came close
You liked it and wanted to have it
You hesitated and walked away
Doubting, I have hidden intentions

All I wanted was you to have it
I want nothing in return, ever,
I get happiness in giving it to you
If you get happy accepting it from me.

BhaShe

Friday, July 27, 2012

Nishabd

This one says, he is 60 , she is 18, some love stories are never meant to be understood. May I make a claim to have understood the love story?

This is another unusual types of movies in bollywood. Starring Mr. Big B, Revathi and Jiah khan. It is shot in a very beautiful location and made me fall in love with the place where it is shot.

Am not going to write the plot, as that you can get on google any minute. So…, Jia seems to have had a rough childhood missing her dad. Her mom is a divorcee and is now moved to living with another man. Jia hates her step dad. She is a very free spirited girl… like an 18 year old should be. Careless, free, fun, witty, attractive and sexy. She has interest in writing and has a dairy where she writes her poems and hides it from the world.

Vijay, is a 50+ish old photographer. He owns a tea estate and his house is in the midst of the estate. Amazing natural beauty. He treks around capturing the beauty of nature in his camera. Happily (??) married for 27 years. His daughters friend is Jia.

Jia comes to Vijya’s place for holidays. She has some strange kind of interest in Vijay. Very easily some girls show interest in elder men and change their world bit by bit till it actually turns upside down. Here too it happens that way. This starts with Vijay capturing the beauty of Jia in his camera, while she was playing with water. Jia looks really amazing, attractive and sexy to his eyes. She notices him clicking her picture and forces him to show them to her. They get close with each other slowly and steadily.

I think because she missed the love of her father, she tried to get close with Vijay to get that love she missed. But when you are beautiful and sexy and attractive, and you are asking for love, coziness and comfort from a man, it can easily be mistaken. Vijay has some strange attraction towards this young girl. The story moves forward, keeping one engaged. Anybody can guess the plot looking at the title and poster. It is that predictable, but the story line is very tight and keeps the audience involved.

There is an element of lustful love that appears between these two. They do pillow fight, share poetry, develop images together, they get cozy but the feelings attached keep changing and growing. They say, love cannot be hided, no matter what. That’s what happens here too. After this, there is a lot of drama.

What made me like this movie is the concept that an 18 year old girl, who tries to find father’s love in a 50+ old man and falls in love with him. As she is free and naughty, she does not hesitate to get intimate with him and kiss him. She does not hesitate to show him how young and beautiful she is. Show him how sexy she is. Also, how easily the old man’s life is turned around, learning an 18 year old girl has fallen for him. He dresses up better, keeps up a happy mood, he cherishes every second he spends with her.

What happens in the end is a tragedy. I cannot think of a better ending though. She comes like tsunami in his life and goes off like a tornado. This movie is WOW!

Sowmyashree Gonibeedu